I mean you can just tell your partner that you find her attractive. Full-stop. Period.
Why must you add in that part where she is not beautiful?
You feel you are being honest, however, I feel you are just being stupid and digging your own grave.
Please understand I'm not telling you to lie. I'm just saying you don't have to be that honest and tell people everything all the time.
Imagine your girlfriend ask you which dress looks better, the pink or the yellow one. You like neither of them. And so, you go off and tell her "Neither. Because you are not beautiful at all, and therefore, neither dress will look beautiful on you".
You cannot go telling your girlfriend she is not beautiful and then expect her not to be upset and discouraged. And when she IS upset by your god awful comments, don't act like you are puzzled as to why she is feeling that way and go thinking you are just being honest, she should accept that.
Offensive maybe isn't the right word here. I would say you are being insensitive instead. You want to be honest to the extent that you don't care what others might feel. Yes, you are being very insensitive.
Do know that there are countless guys out there who will call your girlfriend "beautiful", just don't regret saying that.
And anyway, beautiful is so subjective. What you find ugly, I may find beautiful instead. There's no need to be so truthful and direct all the time.
I don’t think it’s offensive but it would make me question how he feels about me and it would make feel me insecure.
Does that he would leave me for someone he thinks is beautiful?
See I think that if you’re with someone you would find them beautiful/handsome in your eyes even if universally they might not be (I have even experienced this - an ex of mine wasn’t all that but I just felt that he was the sexiest man alive because I was attracted to him, even though in the eyes of others he wouldn’t be)
You are just starting to see the divide between aesthetic beauty and pheromonal attraction. Pheromonal attraction is based on biological compatibility and is mostly independent of aesthetic beauty. This type of attraction based off pheromones is linked to your desired to reproduce and gauges the prospect for healthy young. Aesthetic beauty comes strictly from the mind, it is influenced by psychology and idealized forms. It is what makes a painting pretty or a picture, but unless there is something wrong with you, you wouldn't want to mate with a painting. Pheromones enhance the beauty that is already there, but aesthetic beauty is either there or not. There are different aesthetics based on different cultural and personal ideals, but for the most part people look for symmetry.
I would never say that to anyone. What good could it possibly do?
In general, never criticize your partner for something they cannot change. Accept it and keep quite about it because there's nothing good that could come from telling them.
I overheard a married woman say "My husband thinks I have ugly feet". She can't change them, and will never forget it. No idea why he would make such an insensitive remark.
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I think what you're trying to explain is that beauty is perceived differently. We all have something that attracts the opposite sex, our personality, some trait in our bodies. Yes, we are not all supermodels but we are all beautiful in a certain way
u "You are a smart guy but not brilliant." Do you feel that I have given you a compliment? This is what Shakespeare called damnation by faint praise.
It can sound offensive because beign beautiful can also be more oriented to personality. Personally, when I say someone is beautiful it doesn't necessarily mean for me that it's supermodel looking, but that the person is attractive outside and inside.
If someone says to me I'm not a supermodel it's fine, I know I'm not. But if the person I'm with doesn't seem to find any beauty in me, it's sad. I know my boyfriend is not a supermodel and he know that to, so there's no need to tell each other we aren't models. But still I see beauty in him, and so he's beautiful... and would like him to feel the same way about me.
Extremely. I often ask not to be called beautiful cause i’d feel theyre lying. But if a dude legit said “you ain't beautiful or nothing, but you're kinda cute” then thats rude af. #1 i didn't ask you for your opinion. #2 clearly im not the one for you cause if you truly loved me, you’d know that beauty is more than just looks. (I put looks first as well but at the same time, a personality can be considered beautiful as well). #3 he can gtfo
It’s not offensive but by the same token, it’s not something that needs to be mentioned in the first place. Since there’s obviously enough about them to keep you interested, other than being conventionally attractive.. there’s no need to restate what they’re lacking.
That’s basically like putting a target on your back for no reason.
I guess my question would be if you don’t think that they are “beautiful“ why are you even with them? (Obviously not you specifically just people in general). While it is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that an open minded person could be with a person who is much more beautiful on the inside and they on the outside… Usually SOMETHING must’ve attracted you to them in the first place, if that wasn’t beauty… What was it? I would have to say yes, and no. While it may not be specifically offensive, it would certainly be very hurtful. I would say, if you are in love with someone who is not necessarily physically attractive… Keep it to yourself! I don’t know of any valid reason to tell them this other than to make them feel “less than“ or to make yourself feel “more than“. But either way it’s not a very nice thing to do to somebody you profess to love!
Is it, why would you feel the need to say that? can't you just say they're pretty and that's it?
Those kind of things are stuff you keep to yourself and never said it out loud, nobody want to hear those things especially from people they love it's very hurtful (even if deep down they already know they're not beautiful, they do not need the person they love telling them so).
Why not just make the positive statement and leave the “but not” out of it?
Someone can be be beautiful, but only after you get to know them. Beauty is the esscience of the whole being not what's on the outside. Someone can be attractive and still be a nasty human being.
It is not wrong at all. This is how you view the person, this is your opinion regarding their physical attritubes. To say they are beautiful, yet not believing they are is a blatant lie. You do not lie about someone's look. You give your honest opinion as lies will not help anyone in the situation.
That's a minefield I would rather just avoid. It's not a question of maturity; I just have enough life experience to know when my words are going to get twisted around.
It depends on what you mean.
If you don't think your partner is beautiful then there's a problem. Beauty is so much more than physical attributes even someone who is not physically attractive is still beautiful to the right person and that's the person that should be your partner
No, I never found the woman I have a crush on particularly "beautiful" (in most cases) but that didn't stop me from findin her extremely attractive.. She don't even like guys callin her beautiful, so there's that.. But I've called her beautiful one of 2 times. They might take it a certain way though, which would be kina understandable..
I would say yes. That's a blow to the ego, especially a woman's. Trust me, that's not gonna fly with 99% of women
I suggest you leave the second part unsaid. It not necessarily has to do with being mature, but we all somehow have a bit of insecurity.
My girlfriend and I already told each other and accepted the fact we're not the most beautiful people in the world. We're realistic in that sense. Obviously we find each other more than attractive enough to date and turn each other on sexually, but other than that we know we're dating for more than just appearance.
in my opinion, it's needlessly hurtful to say something like that to yout romantic interest. Just don't.
Damn , if its my partner, they are most definitely the most HANDSOME man on earth to me , the end. Thats how I see someone I love.
Why say anything? Doesn't achieve anything other than maybe making her insecure
I call then 'compliment cherry pickers' and they are as annoying af
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