I want to end my relationship but I don’t know how. Help?

[Anonymous]

Iam young and I have been in a relationship for a while with this guy. I love him but I know it’s just not healthy. He doesn’t care or comfort me when i’m upset, i’m the one putting in all the effort and asking to meet and calling him and telling him I love him but he doesn’t do the same back and it just hurts me.. I know this is toxic but I love him and I don’t want to see him with someone else because it would hurt me a lot. I get attached very easy and Iam quite clingy and I don’t know how to stop someone please help me😩

[centerline]

in your post, you have answered your own question...

if you are the one putting in all the effort and he puts in none, STOP PUTTING IN THE EFFORT... and he will be gone. it sounds as if he doesn't care too much anyway, so maybe he's looking for a way out also...

how you would feel to see him with someone else is something that you need to get over, because it isn't healthy and there is nothing you can do about it either way... its possible that he IS seeing someone else, and that could be the reason that he acts so disinterested in you... but up until the point that you think about it, it hasn't bothered you... so why should knowing with absolution that he is be any worse, as nothing has changed except your perspective... and you can change that now to NOT care about who he sees after you dump his selfish ass...

the fact of life is, we will always find someone else as long as we can get over the one that wronged us... but if we keep dwelling on the past, its going to be bad for us, and bad for anyone we may meet in the future... when its over, LET IT GO and move on. in your mind as well as physically.

[knottywriter]

This is always a tough question to answer because the real answer has to come from you. The things you do are certainly the efforts of someone who cares. I've never understood guys that think all that stuff is too much because texting, calling and being clingy are things I embrace for the very reason you are showing in this. It's simple... you care. And all that stuff from someone is just evidence you care. On the flip side of that, he doesn't obviously care. Actions always speak louder than words and if he isn't doing anything to show he cares then there is no reason for you to waste your time with someone when you can be with someone who cares and is good for you, not toxic. The very fact you believe he could move on so quickly and find someone else is enough to say he is just using you. But go find someone to treat you like a princess and will accept everything you are and maybe not be able to send as many texts or whatever as you, but someone who will appreciate you and send a text back or just do the little things you deserve. If he won't listen when you try to let him know or break it off, you have to walk away... no matter how hard I know that will be for you. But you have to do it for yourself and for the one who deserves you. If you gotta block him on everything then that is what you gotta do. I know this has gotten way long but if you need to talk more about it or want to, always feel free to message me. I have been in a toxic relationship and it sucks but it will get better when you walk away. It may take some time but it's worth it for yourself.

[VIVANT]

Drop him. It’s pointless loving someone who doesn’t love you. You need a switch you can turn off. You can learn this. Practice with this guy.

Just tell yourself “ that’s it. Done” and leave. Don’t make it flowery. Don’t feel compelled to handle his feelings. It will only add to your attachment. Any energy you spend with trying to break up fastens you’re emotions to that person.

He had plenty of time to be caring, he chose not to. Don’t give him an opening to our you have in” oh I’ll fix that”. He won’t. He doesn’t care. People show CAre when they care. They also put on an act when they feel pressured. You don’t want that.

“This is not working. Good bye.”Next time as soon as you sense someone doesn’t care, react. Don’t go along with it. You’ll end up marrying an asshole. Hoping he changes. This went on way too long. Learn from it.

good luck 💗

[VIVANT]

Re “ I have trued he doesn’t care”

He does NOT care. That is why you are done. If you are still talking to him it is you who did not try to break up. It’s not his job to make you leave him. Why would he he’s getting free attebtion.

You tell him goodbye.

Leave cut contact. Turn the switch off in your head that lights up when you think of him. I’m serious. It works. If he pops up in hood head Make it dark turn it off. Shut it down. Think of exactly how horrible you feel insert it into his image in your head and walk away mentally EVERYTIME you see his image. its Easy with practice. Tell him it’s over.

Turn the switch off. In about three weeks it should come as a reflex.

[rachel776]

there's no easy answer to this, you just have to have discipline and do it. you can't worry about your feelings and seeing him with someone else, you have to end it for your own good

it's best to do it in person, unless he's dangerous, and then do it by letter, and have your friends looking out for you for awhile to make sure he doesn't come after you

set a date in your mind and get yourself ready between now and then. have your friends help you

[OlderAndWiser]

Let's Be Practical: How To End A Relationship And Minimize The Stress!

[RingOfFire]

You are right, this one sided relationship is not healthy. You deserve to be appreciated and to receive affection in a relationship and you are not getting it in this one.

There comes a time in everyone's life when they realize that a relationship they are in is not right for them. That's the point you have reached. It is not easy to let go, but it is the only option in a case like this. Think of your own needs, there is nothing selfish in that. Realize that you deserve to be fulfilled and he is not fulfilling you.

There will be other loves in your life. This man is not the only love for you. You can find a love that is fulfilling and much better than the one you have now. Take a deep breath and do it. Then never look back. Move ahead with your life and know that this lesson will serve to make you stronger and better able to find the right person for you in the future.

[Zarapeachy]

Firstly, love isn’t everything to stay in a relationship for. It’s hard but that’s one fact. Two, you have to come a decision if that is what you want. And from there, you tell him exactly how you feel. And move forward. When I say make sure that’s exactly what you want, I don’t mean ponder about what you said in the description and say yes and then two weeks later you go back. No no. You think. As you said, you’re young. It’s your future and your self confidence and self esteem and everything.

[VIVANT]

This is a really good answer 💗

[AlongCameCindy]

I've been there so many times, you try so hard but get nothing back it kills you inside, i love really hard but no one feels the same back, even if they thought they did it just disappears, he is making you miserable, you DO deserve better, dump him, yes he may move on fast and its going to hurt, but you deserve someone who does truly love you, maybe he will realize what he's lost, and even if he doesn't by the sounds of things there is no reason for you to keep going.

[HowAwkwardToBeAlive]

First start with adding more space between the two of you guys. Don’t text him every day, and don’t jump to respond when he reaches out. Find some hobbies and some other things to keep yourself busy. When you feel comfortable being in your end just let it go. Tell him you’re done.

[ch2raf]

Just be matured about it and do it like two adults would do
You call you set up a date and you sit and explain your point exactly and without those misleading things that women usually do
Yes mostly likely he's gona get upset and that's normal but at least by doing that you'll close the door once and for all instead of leaving him wondering about what he did wrong and stuff...
Story short
Just be straight

[wbpirates]

It's your life which matters why hurt yourself for someone who doesn't deserve you. You are more than that have some self respect the more you cling to him the more granted he will take you so just end things up it'll feel bad for a week a month depends on you meet new people I'm sure there's someone out there wholly treat really good but if you get stuck with him then it's over nothing good will come out of this so end things once and for all.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Just take a deep breath and rip the band aid off. There's no condition under which a break up wouldn't suck. Embrace the suck. It'll be over with soon enough. Just face it head on. Just focus on the relief you'll feel after it's all said and done. The short term discomfort of the breakup itself is just a necessary price to pay.

[Browneye57]

"It's over. I can't do this anymore."
"I'm breaking up with you, I cannot go on."

You do this in person. Unless you fear for your life.
No explanations, no blaming, no more discussion. It's already been beat to death, right?

And quit the 'but I love him' bullshit. If it's not right then NEXT him and move on with your life.

[Tyrael]

Just tell him "Look it's not me, it's you." And explain like you have here, make sure he realises it's over and then cut ties with him. Don't try to "just be friends", that won't work, block him, delete his number, all that stuff. Trust me.

[Asker]

I have tried but he doesn’t care. It really breaks me but I can't bare to see him move on because I know how quickly he would. I love him but I can't carry on as it’s hurting me too much

[Tyrael]

Then like I said, you block him on all social media, delete his number etc and cut all contact with him. Put him out your life, it's as simple as that.

[Bram852OOO]

When u tell him, be honest about the reason. And dont tell him things like "i wasn't ready for a relationship" , "i need some time for myself" or "its not you but me" If he doesn't know what he did wrong, he can't change it in his next relationship.

[Feronas]

Loving someone who doesn't really love you back is something you should drop immediately. If you feel pain now, imagine how this is gonna feel after 10 years of giving and getting nothing back.

[itzmera]

just rip off the bandaid. he's not good for you, let him know. if you stay in that relationship cause you "love" him it'll just make you unhappy in the end.

[SavageGirl101]

How do y’all not know how to end something? Istg no offense but that’s pathetic all u gotta do is tell them that your breaking up and block them y’all making it hard for no reason😬

[slatyb]

Get support from friends agreeing that you need to end it. Maybe have a friend present when you send him the goodbye message.

[In_Trance]

You tell him straight up, face to face. Walk away, block and delete and then get on with your life

[Shellyworld]

Work on your positivity. Find a hobby and you can move on better

[kareka]

Can you pm me i got the same problem and i fixed it..

[dandiecandie]

You need to learn self love.

[SexyAshh]

Be straight up. Thats the only way to do it