The red flags were: Read my long answer if you innocent girls wanna save your ass before your time is wasted on a stray jerk.
- Acting very shy BUT flirty/touchy at the same time.
- Is very mysterious and has kinda odd history with other females like unexplained dating or breakup.
- Is very romantic poet but actions doesn't prove it.
- Pretending to not know simple things in order to appear innocent but had DEEP knowledge about human behavior or porn.
- Allowing other girls to cling to him in classroom and told me that he didn't even felt her touch cuz he was focused on the book". Such a lame excuse!
- Staring at other females when he thought that i wasn't looking at him.
- Was very clingy because he had nothing else to do.
- Only loyal because he isn't desired by girls in general. You'll look at his real face once he starts to get femal attention.
Most Helpful Opinions
Waaaaay too many.
- One ex liked my friend before he got with me. But my friend didn't want him and i initially didn't ether. But later on i started to like him and he started to like me. So we dated, then next thing i know, him and her are fckin around on me.
- Another ex couldnt see me when he wanted because his parents were controlling af... Yea they eventually broke us up.
- Another guy would always go outside to talk to me on the phone, away from his fam. I figured something was up but played it cool. Yea turns out they were racist and he was hiding our relationship. Once they found out, they went ballistic and i broke things off to save the both of us.
- Another guy told me early on he wasn't ready to commit and then changed his mind when i wanted to leave him. I stayed like an idiot just to find out he ended up wanting to talk to more than just me.
- Another guy told me his ex left him for being clingy. I took it with a grain of salt. He ended up stalking the hell out of me and blowing up my phone.
- Another guy said his friend girls took him to a gay club as a test to see if he was bi/gay. He told me a guy kissed him but he didn't like it and that he wasn't gay. Normally i’d run asap. I stuck around in hopes it was a stupid dare. Found him on a porn site selling $3 nudes to men. He claimed he was broke and needed to pay rent but I dumped him on the spot.
- She was a liar and user yet I didn't want to believe it.
- She loved lots of expensive things and I thought buying her the occasional gift would keep her happy, but it never did.
- She had lots of male "friends" and texted them often, but I didn't want to believe she was ever cheating, even though deep down I already knew it.
I was warned early on by a man who knew her before me to be careful, but I foolishly didn't listen and had the naive notion that it would somehow be different with me, and naively thought "You can't believe everything somebody says about someone else." But everything I heard and was told was the real deal and I got burned because of my foolish persistence. However the lesson taught me a hell of a lot and opened my eyes about women, relationships, and my own viewpoints in some pretty big ways. This I am at least glad to have learned.
Lots upon lots with many. But that been said some red flags were just nothing really and the relationship was pretty good just didn't work out for reasons but nothing abusive or something. So it's a weird fine line with what's a bad thing or actually just a quirk. I try to be open-minded to extent because hell i am sure there is always signs of red flags in people and also people are quick to judge is another factor to it.
Of course there is many things that are obvious no fine lines.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
35Opinion
My ex had a violet temper, and he then apologized, then sweet talk me into not leaving him. He said I saved him from beating up people bc I was there to calm him down. Then my ex's aunt told me not to marry him, and the preacher said thesame to not marry him just before marrying him... I ignore all of the red flags, and was blind, now I am not with him I am divorced. Happy life now.
He was rude to other people and he did anything to be liked by others. I ignored it because he was really sweet to me at first but eventually that rudeness was directed at me. He would be unkind to me for the sake of being “cool” or I don’t even know. We ended up breaking up quickly, which resulted in him bad mouthing me to anyone who would talk to him. I just ignored him when he eventually begged me to talk and get back together. He showed his true colors and there’s no way I would’ve allowed myself to get back with him after he showed me that he was an immature jackass.
Lack of empathy, him drooling over the waitress on our first date, extreme difficulty apologizing, the tendency to punish me with silence or a mean attitude if I told him something hurt my feelings, how passionately he defended his continued contact with his ex when I asked him to let that go. And now that I think about it, I should have been alarmed at how he changed the story from passionately calling her a great friend through thick and thin, and then claiming “Maybe friend was the wrong word. We’re just on good terms. I don’t reach out to her.” Because I later found out that he did continue reaching out to her while we were together. He also lied about how long they were together and he told me he never loved her but later admitted he had wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
There are so many and I didn’t see most of them until it was almost too late!!! Everything from lies, cheating, secretly stalking me, attempting to sabotage my career and education, trying to get me fired from my job, trying to isolate me from my family, gaslighting, trying to change me, anger and violence issues, secret steroid use, secret drug use and putting my health at risk. Things like that and pretending that he loves me when really he’s out fucking other girls, dating other girls and saying that he loves them. I’ve experienced so many red flags in my past relationships that were serious and I was oblivious for so long.
Honestly I think all of them, at least in my early dating years, I got suckered by every one of them, not seeing past my own dreamy-love lenses.
As I got older, I stopped falling for the classics, but still fell for the cheating type, the gold-diggers, and none too few psychos.
In the end, I think I finally know all the tricks, but too old to run around dating like a teenager. The universe is full of irony-completely not over their most recent ex
-way too close of “friends” with my best friend (who was actually their ex, another clue)
-Wanted me to do drugs with them all the time.
- Couldn’t take responsibility for any of his actions (blamed everything on everyone but himself)
- had no chivalry or manners
-thought he was way better, smarter, deep, and attractive than almost anybody else.
- whinyHe spent one semester studying gender studies.
I should've known then.
Also, he was obsessed with "legacy" but had zero ambition.
And he hated kids but was on the fence about having them. And I was clearly against having children. Should've been over before it even started. Wasted my best experimenting years waiting for that indecisive shit to make up his mind.- Never asked me about my life or anything about me as a person really ever.
- She sometimes would give me a look that made me think she had very little (if any) respect for me in general. I questioned it a few times in the short time we were together, and found out that I questioned it for good reason because there was indeed none there at all. It became very obvious when it ended. Often we see what we want to see though :(I wouldn’t say I saw them cause if I did I wouldn’t have glossed over them.. if you ask what are some things I saw but chose to ignore cause I was too naive.. lol the list would be long but off the top of my head, thought and abusive “ex” would change and let a man to emotionally abuse me cause he made me think I kinda deserve it..
•She kept bringing up her past,
•cheated on her previous boyfriend,
•high body count permiscuous.
•Alway bringing me down or talking negative
•TOO MANY GUY FRIENDS
•Kissed somebody else on the cheek.
Etc. You get the picture.
Thanks to her I'm a complete asshole we used to right music together. Fuck her and everybody she associates with.He repeatedly crossed boundaries and he knew it made me uncomfortable but kept doing it.
I was in love... red flags look green when you're in love.
Now, if you cross my boundaries more than once and you show clear understanding that it's making me uncomfortable, you're out. No second thoughts.Him saying that he cheated on one of his ex's that was long distance and I guess he was cheating on the poor girl for a while. He cheated on me while we were living together. Apparently the other girl would come in and do her thing when I was at work. Had a friend tell me.
My ex was a feminist, but back then I had no interest in identity politics, only that she was pretty and “loved” me. Then she obviously expressed her feminist ways more and more over time until I realized how horrible it made her, and thus my hatred for that rabble began 😡
She told me flat out that she couldn't handle a relationship at the moment, but that she was in therapy and working towards being healthy. I chose to be there and tried to support her. She ended up dropping therapy and then accused me of trying to exploit her mental health.
He was very unreliable, but I overlooked it because he had other qualities that I did like. But that was a huge mistake. He became more and more unreliable over time, and it caused me too much frustration. When he made us late for his aunts funeral, I knew I had to end the relationship. It was causing me too much anxiety.
He was controlling in a he didn't care how i felt way. He demanded that i married him. He never asked if i liked him he just assumed... He was very cocky or overly self assured. He made fun of people and complained a lot. He also bragged a lot about how great his ex was.
When we got married he ignored me a lot to just play his video games. When i wanted him to clean with me he just ignored me. He got angry a lot and broke stuff. I was always at fault.Talking about the ex fairly often
Religious differences
Influenced by the holy ghost
Co-worker
Hated commitment
Best friend was an asshole
Lived with ex boyfriend
Extremely high body countJust about every one possible lmao. My most recent ex was
1. Not a virgin
2. Used to use drugs
3. Was mentally ill (not just depression, I mean legit borderline insane.)
4. Had daddy issues
5. Was into art
6. Lied
7. Gaslighted
I could prolly go on and on but you get the picture. Yes, I was desperate.My wife was a cheater and now looking back i can pick out every one of them with out any hard evidence the ones im talking about that would have a good excuse for being at my house when I would come home early or just happen to be with my wife and someone else would say hey i saw your wife with so a nd. So yep thems the ones banging my wife oh well some things are better off dead
- over time partner stopped maintaining appearance and/or unhealthy weight gain.
- over time partner denied sexual interaction or had reducing sex drive.
- over time partner became more stuck up and uncaring or unkind.
Learn more