What are the red flags you ignore initially in a relationship but turned out to be a pretty big deal later on?

[Andapaw]

Updates

6 mo

For me it was her anger issues. Thought people learn to be softer towards people they love. I thought people change. They don't change.

[OneTrueYou]

I would have to say a person's dependency on their parents even after they are grown as well as someone's alcohol and or drug habits. People that are dependent upon their parents even after they are grown are very hard to have a relationship because anytime you trouble they want to run to their parents instead of working it out with you and it drives a wedge between the two of you and between you and their parents. Also, sometimes even if you are a drinker or drug user or not, it can be easy to start up a relationship with someone that drinks a lot or is slightly into recreational drugs. But once you have been with them for a long time and expected that they would grow out of it but they don't, and in return they actually get more addicted to it, then it becomes a huge problem.

[Anonymous]

It's amazing what major red flags you ignore when you find someone attractive. I've had to learn to slow down over the years because otherwise I'm easily tricked by women. And there are a lot of terrible women out there. I knew this one woman for several years. Had many deep conversations with her. And really thought she was a good person that just hadn't met the right guy. But if I had just paid attention to one GLARING fact about her it would have saved me a lot of heartache. Every guy leading up to me that she showed interest was either already married or in a relationship. This would have tipped me off to her true character. I don't regret this though because she was a learning experience. I look at women a lot harder now.

[provokeesmokee]

I've gotten better at avoiding these, but when someone complains about their situation but doesn't work to change it.

Starts off with innocent complaints, like it's hard to find time to work out or is hard to find the energy to go out after work.

And it snowballs into complete lack of action in every aspect of their life.

[kylee2437]

Meeting my ex at the bar originally and then drinking through the pandemic. I realized that he was an alcoholic but masked it up because everyone was just kind of doing their own thing during the pandemic

[jennifer_bloom]

I thought a guy was very stingy and selfish but he turned out to be very nice. But once I told him I had a boyfriend he became selfish and stingy again and I realized he was faking virtue to attract me as his girlfriend.

[ProbablyClueless]

Anger issues for me too. I also realized that I used to ignore a lack of communication (because I'm fairly independent guy myself, so I don't... really... need constant affirmation and chatter with women I date. I was definitely way too understanding about women's poor communication earlier in life though.

[Anonymous]

I date and later were in a relationship with someone who pushed my boundaries.

First time we made out on the bed and he wanted to get his hands in my underwear and I told him no. And he weaseled his way around my reasoning.

And yeah, he ended up crossing multiple boundaries and also turned out to be a very manipulative man. And it was a very unhealthy relationship for me.

[Anemone978]

Religious views, his need to always be right, his need to dominate me always.. its like I seen all of it but really wanted a boyfriend LMAO stupid me..

[SquareWave]

Obsession with makeup and self-image. Think about what she spends the majority of her money on after paying bills.

[prettyfacegoodtaste]

i ignored clutter. later to realize that it really could resemble someone’s set of mind and how they deal with problems.

[Anonymous]

My ex constantly wanting us to do something together when we were together (ex: no one on their phone or doing something alone) in the end he got too much of it during a distance relationship

[Yannae]

There are none. Thanks to a rough childhood I'm able to see through them and dodge them before it becomes a big deal.

[Danael31]

Domestic violence. I thought I could handle it. I learned my lesson.

[electromagnetic]

Disappearing every so often and returning.

[TrueConfection]

Our difference in religious views.

[exitseven]

If she was mean to me.

[Bricealan]

Alcoholism

[Shedzij567]

That all D

[shades777]

i don't ignore

[Anonymous]

History of cheating