I honestly have really low self esteem and even when my friends say that I'm pretty, I can't believe I am. I seem to not attract any guys at all. I use a lot of dating sites in hopes to find one, but they mainly want hookups from me. I am interested in looking for a potential relationship, but can't seem to find any. I only take pictures of myself that I think look good. In reality, I'm not the most attractive person. I can't even find someone who likes me when I go out in public. It's something that seems like a foreign thing that I can't ever reach. There are so many other beautiful girls out there and I'm not the one that any guy wants
Will I ever find a guy who will love me as much as I love them?
Dating apps are going to be a complete waste of time if you're looking for an actual relationship, because "dating" apps are used almost exclusively for hookups. You might as well go deep-sea fishing in a bucket of fresh water - you'll be just as successful.
If you want a relationship, you need to accept that you're only likely to find that by meeting guys IN PERSON. This is important!
I realize COVID is a big obstacle right now, but let's pretend for a moment that COVID has been magically cured and vanished from the Earth. You still need to find a way to meet guys, and since I gather you aren't a daily drinker (or you'd be at a bar already), here's the best way:
Make a list of your hobbies and interests. Do you like to ride a bicycle, or go bowling, or walk your dog, or take cooking classes, or watch movies? Are you already in any social clubs? If there is something you've always wanted to try or learn, put that on the list too.
Now, cross off anything that doesn't have a social element - in other words, if single men aren't likely to be involved, cross it off. Finally, rank your list from MOST interested to LEAST interested. Got it? Good.
Now, take the top 2 items on your list, and figure out how to do them. If it's walking the dog, figure out routes that take you through a park or two, where other people and dogs will be around, and plan on spending some time at the park. If it's a cooking class, sign up. If it's bowling, find out when the leagues play and sign up for one that works with your schedule, etc. The idea is to do each of your 2 activities at LEAST once a week - more is better if you can, but feel free to start with once a week for each.
The great thing about this method is that you're already doing an activity that you enjoy, and you're spending more time out in the world around people, but obviously, you're also working towards a goal. The goal is to build a new circle of friends (or more than one, if you can) at each hobby. You'll naturally meet people, and you'll gravitate to someone or a group of people that you click with, and over time, you'll build a friendship with them. You'll likely eventually start meeting these new friends outside of the activity, which is great, because you'll meet more of THEIR friends, and thus grow your circles. That's exactly the goal, because the best way to meet someone is to meet them through friends - people you like are likely to know other people you'll like, and this way, you meet them organically and get to see them in a social environment, which helps you learn about them.
IMPORTANT: the other goal is to LET PEOPLE SEE YOU BE FUN AND HAPPY. Smile a lot. Laugh a lot. Participate in the conversations, and invite others into them as well. Dress one notch above what other people are (not 7 notches, just be a bit more stylish than the group), and BE FUN. Do not get offended or get upset by minor details - laugh it off. BE FUN.
This might take a few months of investment, but, again, these are already activities you enjoy, so the "wait" should be easy and enjoyable, and in the end, you'll have a much easier time getting high-quality results than with any dating app.
I forgot to mention a few things as I was low on space, but should one of your hobbies turn out to be a dead end, either try again with a different group, or move down to the next hobby/interest on your list. Or, if you have the ability, add a third hobby/interest to your week. The whole idea is to grow new circles of friends, and to meet THEIR friends, which will grow them further. The more circles you have, the more quality people you'll meet, and the easier it will be to find good partners.
Confidence matters. Your insecurity is creating a feed back loop, the more insecure you feel the less approachable you are, the less appraochable you are the more insecure you get. Try relaxing, try not caring. Easier said then done but it will fix your problem. Think of it this way, you want a man to approach you, some one he doesn't know, a woman who more then likely will see him as a threat (for what ever reason many women presume men are out to get them when in reality a man is far more likely to defend you then harm you), so he has to worry about saying the right thing at the right time in the right way and hope that your responsive to it because otherwise you may think he is a creep or get aggressive with him.
Meanwhile what are you doing in this situation? Well if your not confident your head is down i. e. telling him you don't want to be bothered, your frowning, meaning your not in a good mood so your not going to be in the mood to be hit on, maybe your arms are folded or your shoulders are drawn inward instead of back meaning you don't feel safe. Then he approaches what happens? well your not confident so your trying to figure out what his alterior motives are, this makes you less reseptive and tells him your not interested so go away.
So your body langauge matters, your words may say one thing but your actions say another and men are already put in an awkward situation so they are going to want to avoid any additional awkwardness and hurdles that may be present.
Then that isn't even factoring in that most guys don't do the cold approach (its really nerve wracking asking a girl out, most guys are not comfortable with it), most ask out girls that they get to know through friends or work. So I'd say focus on what messages your telegraphing, and then look to your social circle for help, the more people in that social circle the more likely they are going to know a guy which in turn means a greater probability of meeting one. Having social hobbies can help with this as well, as new friends can also mean meeting more people and more men and more chances to find a partner.
I'm gonna be brutally honest with you here. You look like a really pretty girl but your hiding it under your lack of style. If you spoiled yourself a little with some cute, trendy outfits, got some more stylish glasses and got rid of the hat and put on a little make up the boys would be lining up outside your door. Maybe ask one of your more feminine , stylish friend or family members to help you go shopping and watch YouTube videos on make up and fashion
Obviously I'm not saying looks are most important but they do go far. Obviously your a little shy and lacking confidence too and as someone who's struggled with this myself my advice is to try and push yourself to get over it. If someone doesn't love you for you there not ment to be in your life and there's a lot more kind people out there then there is cruel. If someone is gonna go out of their way to put you down they are the one with the issue not you.
So just stop caring what people think and be happy with how you are and stopping yourself from shining bright and being your best self. Get out of your comfort zone and do things you've always really wanted to do but been to scared to. Nothing bad will happen and if you fail you will know you gave it go and can learn from that experience. I've also been on dating sites and yes their is some pigs on their but you just need to be patient and the genuine , good men will come in. Ask for for their intentions pretty early on so your bouth clear what each other wants from the conversation. I found the love of my life on tinder and I know a tone of other girls who have too. Just don't give up and be patient you'll find your perfect man eventually.
I see you said you are a tomboy on another comment and that's great slot of guys really like girls who have a tomboyish side to them. maybe try and look at more tomboy outfits that are also stylish and more feminine.
Still be yourself and keep your style just update it a little would be my advice
You will girl. Omg i know where you're coming from. Id like to think im average but i used to have no care in the world for myself and had no motivation to fix myself up and take care of my body. I fell into a dark hole of depression and harmed myself when people bullied me. My best advice is to work on your confidence and if you feel unhappy about something, make it a goal to reach and fix but only change for yourself and positive change. Dont change for nobody else. It isn't worth it! You have nice eyes but i could picture you without the beanie, maybe a cute blouse with some jeans and a little makeup🙂you dont need much but maybe a tint of lipstick and mascara if you want to stand out. You are beautiful naturally but these are just tips if you want to stand out more of course im not gonna make you but it never hurts to try to explore your style. And one thing is getting yourself out of the habit of comparison. Take baby steps and begin to compliment and see the good in yourself. there's an amazing guy out there for you who'll find you gorgeous inside and out.
You sound like a serious and sincere young lady and that scores points with many guys. Obviously, you lack self-confidence and that is probably your biggest obstacle.
When I look at this picture, I see lots of POTENTIAL being hidden. The hat isn't a plus, the way you are dressed screams "lack of femininity" and your hair style is not flattering.
You are in serious need of a makeover. Not like on Okra Winfrey but your own private makeover. Save some money to do a make over. I'll bet that you have a few female friends who would love to help you do this. Pick one who you think has class, feminine grace and sexual appeal. It will be fun for her!
Start with your hair. Get some recommendations from the stylist. Then go hopping for three or four new outfits - shoes, skirt or pants, panties, bra, blouse, and accessories. Don't skip the underwear because women get confidence from knowing that they look good below the outer surface. Then get dressed up n one of your new outfits and go out to dinner with whoever helped you with the makeover. Get ready to notice a different reaction from people who you interact with. Then realize that you have the potential inside of you and you just need to embrace your feminine side and get ready to - very subtly - flaunt it!
Before and after makeover. . . and this could be you!
Well, that depends, a lot of it is luck, and each time I found love, rather than temporary puppy love it was offline rather than online. I also found that dropping your expectations of how things should be, proceed, or how people should express themselves to show those feelings makes it more likely to if not find love. Find different experiences and more of what you want, who you want, outside of being loved.
You could enter an open relationship like mine and be a "unicorn", loved and doted on. Would it be an arrangement you would enjoy though? Try different things, and love yourself more, grow that confidence before worrying so much about gaining someone else's approval and affection.
Best of luck to you, and that's just my two cents.
Unfortunately, society promotes looks over connection. I could follow you around during a day, snapping photos of you. I could show those photos to someone who doesn't know you, and that person may not even believe they are of the same person. How we feel determines how we look. If we feel smart, we'll look smart; if we feel sexy, we'll look sexy; If we feel loved, we'll look beautiful.
When you go on these dating sites, do you just wait for guys to reach out to you, or do you show interest in guys? If you show interest, what qualities generally draw you in? Generally, the best partners are ones who look for some sign of interest from you before reaching out. The ones who reach out with no signs from you are generally just looking to get something short-term, not long-term. If people reach out with vague, general form letters, without showing they've truly read what you wrote (or they just focus on your looks), they're generally not long-term relationship material. People can fish with "hey" or "how's your day?" but without showing your profile has been read, they're just looking for quantity, not quality. By the way, what does your profile show about the person you are? Focus on what makes a quality relationship for you, not what makes a quality lifestyle. Most females focus more on the lifestyle rather than the relationship when it comes to the details they offer.
Don't expect someone to knock on your door and tell you that you are their dream girl. Get involved with group activities (find a cause you can believe in and then volunteer; join an organization that promotes what you value the most and then take on a responsible role; reach out to learn from the expertise of others or share in your expertise; find any activity that will allow you to associate with those you see as quality people, but never focus more on finding a mate than connecting with people in general). Be patient and observant, and someone will rise out of the crowd.
Ok TIME OUT ,,, I have to understand you feel this way for YOUR REASONS, And they are your reasons and your feelings and I respect them , now in saying this , I have to say what I see and feel , first of all I'm an Empath, the moment I looked into your eyes and read your words in 3 seconds I could tell you so many things about your self that you just told me ,, with out telling me anything,, if you want me to be 100 % Honest with you I will ,, but my words are going to be straight to the point and bold ,, I hate when I'm that way sometimes , but there is a reason for it ,, if you sent me a private message I would do that,, but for every one to see I'm not going to I'm going to just keep it lite , first of all ,, at least for me I will probably love a person more than they love me. , I feel the same as you on that ,, but I'm not in a compaction on who can love more,, as long as I can show them and they feel it thsts all I care about , now you can only see your self as how you feel ,,, you see yourself everyday, and you see the same person. Every day,, for me this is the first time I have ever seen you and I start with your eyes because I want to know the real you and she lives inside , like I said first time I have ever seen you and have never talk to you , but I can tell you this ,,, you are a very very beautiful person with in ,, to be honest I would just love to unload on you and tell you everything but , I don't know if I should go that deep on here in private I would ,,, anyway. You have more going on then you will ever even allow yourself to become because of confidence and your not sure how to go about it ,, all I'm going to say on this post is you have it all you have a fire and a desire that is so very Hot , if you ever open that door watch out world watch out boys ,, you will find the key to your happiness all I'm going to say is I respect the way you see yourself ,, ,, but give me a day with you and see and feel yourself through my eyes it will change your life,,
A few things. Maybe you need to go out with an older guy. Young girls are very beautiful, so you may have a hard time competing with girls your age. I was like that when I was young girls my age had so many hot guys to chose from they would not pick me. Because guys my age were hot. Older guys have had very unatractive girls. So to an older guy you would be beautiful. Two. You have to be an asshole to get mates. You will learn this as you get older nice girls, and nice guys do not get dates. Or girlfriend's or boyfriend's. Because most people just drink a lot or dirnk and do drugs so they like people the way they are. If your not as bad as them they find you boring. There are two things in life. Success. And having a lot of dates. Those two are the polar opposite. People who have sex a lot in their life are bad people. They drink and stuff and they just want to fuck all the time. Because the substances they are on makes their sex drive way higher than yours. So they are willing to put WAAAAY more effort into things like that than you. S you have to chose which path you will go down. But don't complain no matter what path you go down. If you are successful. And a good person. Flaunt it. Tell people "Your nowhere near as good a person as I am!!!" Be proud that you are a good person. Make those sexualy premisquous girls jealous. Make people want to KILL to have what you have. Because you won't be happy if you don't. If you constantly live your life wishing you were somebody else you will be miserable. DO NOT REGRET. And. If you want to be bad. Start drinking every day. Or at least everyonce and a while. And keep this up for a long time. Then your sex drive will be through the roof and you will start to be getting all these guys. Maybe add in a little marjuana. That will accelerate the process. But you have to do it long enough to where you learn how to play the game. You have to have been trying to get men that hard for long enough till you learn how to get them. But if you break the law. You will go to jail. And if you break the law long enough. You will go to prison. There are bad parts of every path. You may be utterly unsuccessful and a loser. But you will have a hot boyfriend. So you will feel bad because your failures. But hav wild crazy sex. So you chose your path. There it is. I laid it out for you to see.
You are pretty, but you do not look feminine. Femininity plays a big part in attracting men. Since, you are looking for a relationship and not a hookup, the way you attract men for that is mostly through behavior.
General Attraction Avoid challenging men, a lot of women seem to do that these days, and it turns men off because men want women to be a partner, not an opponent. Take interest in him and his passions, try and do an activity related to his passions. Ask about his friend and family related problems, and be supportive regarding that. Go on a lot of dates and have very long conversations, share your deepest self with him and then he will feel safe doing that with you. Compliment him in ways that make him seem more manly, and dominant. When you get closer, start throwing yourself on him, as in start to depend on him and it will turn general attraction into romantic attraction. Men like feeling useful and they love helping those who are weaker than themselves, it makes men feel more manlier. It gives men a sense of power, and thus authority, and thus dominance. He will treasure you always if you manage to pull this off.
Romantic & Sexual Attraction Do not look men in the eyes all the time, not looking men in the eyes all the time will make you seem shy, and thus submissive, which is very attractive to men. Do not let him touch you anywhere on the body for the first month, at least. Keep it limited to kissing, a LOT of kissing. When you finally do let him touch you, don't let him touch your breasts or vagina first, redirect his hands to your thighs or to your waist. Make him wait another month before you start oral sex, and do not give him a blowjob before he eats you out when having oral sex for the first time. Then make him wait another month before you let him penetrate your vagina for the first time. Making him wait will give him a sense of achievement and accomplishment, it will make you seem like a reward given for the right behavior, which will encourage more right behavior. Do not make him wait more than the period I've told you, or he will lose interest or start to think that you are playing with him. Another important thing, do not call him 'daddy' because it sounds trashy and it is a word commonly used by slutty women with serious emotional problems, thus if you say it, it will make you seem slutty. You can use 'sir' instead of 'daddy' when you want to use such a word.
Physical Attraction In order to physically attract men, which is quite important for a relationship, you have to look feminine as I said before. Wearing a relatively short sundress is a good way of attracting men, wearing a necklace (perhaps with a symbol of a heart) makes a woman come off as feminine as well. Keeping your hair open and long, and when in the presence of men push your hair forward over one shoulder and rest them on your chest, this is going to seduce men, especially from behind, a woman's neck exposed from one side comes off as quite seductive to men. This is the least trashy and/or slutty way to look seductive. Wearing typically feminine sandals can be attractive too. As for your makeup, blend dark eyeliner with a light colored eyeshadow, colors like light pink, light blue, and light green are ideal. Do not overdo your makeup, it makes men see you as a slutty woman. Wear light colored nail polish and lipstick, because they look very feminine. Show light cleavage, not much or you will seem like an easy lay. Make sure your clothes are tight around the waist, as a slim waist is essential to looking feminine and delicate.
But you can't have him yet. I've informed him "She can't love you the way you deserve to be loved."
He is sad and awaits for as long as it'll take. He's wise to understand you'll not love him as you're not capable to do so at present.
One cannot love another if one doesn't love themselves.
He won't pressure you or walk into your life when you're not ready but when you're ready, he'll turn up unannounced.
Accept you for who you're and as nice as it is to get compliments from your friends, your very core will love you forever when you embrace and love who you're.
That's the one voice you need to heed the most. When you do, you can take on the world.
You can accomplish whatever you set out to do and if that happens to be a boy then so be it.
There'll be one that you like who may not like you back but don't worry. That's all part of the fun.
Before you get there, work on you and your acceptance of that young woman who stares back at you everytime you look in the mirror.
She's rooting for you day in day out because she knows your potential and your self worth.
You've just got to believe what she tells you when you see her.
I've seen gals who look like you get married and stay married.
If you see a bag on the road... you drive over it right, or maybe swerve a bit? That's what people do to other people when they see low self esteem, unless they have a lot of empathy.
Building self worth and esteem essential, know from experience. then find mate. Else, you'll get run over and abused. There's a lot of trash guys out there, but there's guys who want a girl like you and can't find it. I've seen them out here.
work on yourself first. It's ok to accept you aren't the best looking, but don't let that diminish your own self worth. I was very ugly as a kid and same happened to me. We start to believe the lies that that is our own value and to everyone. it's not.
It's how you project yourself that really matters... what are you saying to people when you don't speak. your pic says you are shy, introverted and affraid. You are probably very senstive and caring. Accepting Christ into my heart and learning about how humans work including myself helped me flip my shyness into empathy and concern and I started to put my energy outwards. Find what method works for you.
I continue to learn and grow and suffer and grow as a person, it doesn't stop, there's no endpoint to learning to love.
Listen here. It doesn't always matter the out side. It matters what's inside. Especially if it's you, you're talking about. I'm 185 cm tall and 60kg weight. It's a big contrast. And still managed to get a few dates. I'm noooo prize. I know that, but also the girls I dated weren't eighter. I treated them nice, but I didn't made a relationship out of any of my dates. I felt awful. I thought I don't deserve love, friendship, respect, or someone close to me. Until I realised : what if I concentrate too much on everyone else but not me. Try to do, at first, what you like, then get out of your confort zone, do new stuff, try new food, new hobbys (as a start) and then courses, meating new places, new people, expand what you see to think different from what you think now. The chances are you will meat someone, at some point but try to build a financial security (so you will not depend on someone) and then you will find a guy who will like you for what you are truly, not for your looks (those fade in time). So chin up, chest out.
Here is my unpopular opinion. The answer is not really. It's a weird way to answer that. The reason I say not really is you might temporarily but one of you will lose interest. It may take years, months, weeks or days. Everything in life moves really fast anymore. As the younger generations get older it will keep getting faster. That's how our brains are getting "trained". Not necessarily just in our love life's but more so in life in general. Our attention spans are dwindling and dwindling fast. I will use the media for a prime example. The commercials in-between breaks on TV shows use to have 2-3 commercials during a break. Now there is 5-7. They are flashing images and keeping them short. Go on to YouTube. How many random clips are shown in the clip you chose to watch. Example someone will say something dumb and all of a sudden a fresh prince clip will appear and Will Smith will do a Charlton dance and then your show comes back on like nothing happened. . Not including their non stop ads they show. You have comericials flashing the screen in the middle of YouTube shows now and the whole time you have ads on the bottom of the screen your watching. And those cycle as you watch whatever your watching.
All this may sound like nonsense to some of you but it's how the brain works. eventually everything will be super short and super random and everyone will think it's great. That will bleed over to other parts of our brains because tv brings people enjoyment. It's a way for endorphins to do their jobs and whenever endorphins are working we find other ways for them to work. So from a young age we need short and random things to keep our attention. What do you do when you get bored from watching something? You look for something else.
Wow, you do have some low self-esteem going on! Stop it. First understand that you are no worse than anybody else, no better than anyone else and just as good and valuable as anybody else. Next, and remember that you stated that you are interested in dating and finding a match, dress yourself much better and fix yourself up. Based on the picture, you are cute, but you dress dumpy and sloppy, like you don't care. And if you don't care that's fine, but you do care so its a problem. I would say an image consultant or something like that could do you a lot of good, but a lot of people don't have money for that. You can do the research on your own and find out a lot of what to do by listening to and getting involved with like minded people. You have great big eyes, don't hide behind glasses if you can. If you can't get some fancy ones. Wear some make up, not a lot, just enough to accent your features. Take that stupid hat off and burn it. Nothing says 'crazy cat lady' like a hat that says 'Meow'. Go shopping with a girl who knows her fashion and get some nice clothes. There is plenty of clothing that is both moderate, but sexy; that's what you want. And when the guys do come (not a pun), make good decisions, don't necessarily take the first offer. Listen to Dion Sanders: "If you look good, you feel good. If you feel good, you play good. If you play good, they pay good. And then you eat good."
Well your not hot to me you look decent, you could always look better. do you ever doll yourself up and put on makeup? Do your hair or ever change your hair color? Little bit of makeup can go a long way. Maybe change your glasses? The style is kinda old lady ish vibe. If you don't want to do yourself any different then just be yourself and someone will come along if you put yourself out there. But I recommend dulling yourself up a bit helps bring in guys and helps with confidence factor when u get attention.
First you should asked this none anonymously. So you could find someone here on (G@G) to talk to and date. That’s what my sister did when she found her boyfriend. She found her boyfriend of today on G@G.
Second you are very attractive and even though your self esteem and confidence is low. You can still find a boyfriend. Girl, you got potential!
Third never give up those dating sites can be helluva hard to stay on to find someone, but the long nights of scrolling and swiping can be rewarding when you find someone. My cousin found his wife on OkCupid. So it’s possible.
Lastly, don’t let this minor inconsistent love life be a hinder for you. You can still have guy friends and a boyfriend. There is dedication to the one you find and the one you’re looking for. You have that quality that men like, a woman to love you no matter what. Just find a man that makes you happy!
Aw, no. I think you're beautiful. Here, I'll tell you about yourself.
Your eyes, they're a beautiful shade in color. I wish I had eyes like yours. My eyes are a dark shade of grey-brown. I envy your lighter eyes. They're so pretty, such a beautiful color. Your hair, it's also a light color. And beautiful. My hair? All thick and tangly, hard to maintain. Your face seems so innocent, so pure.
I'm genuinely not the type to tell someone they're beautiful if they're really not. I swear I'm not lying. I think you're beautiful. Cute hat, by the way.
You need more confidence. Otherwise your gonna fall for someone for the wrong reasons or get used by someone. You are plenty attractive to attract men. Trust me. But there is a lot of scum out there looking for girls like you that will manipulate you and throw you away when they get whatever they wanted from you. Don't let that happen. My advise is to think about someone who you admire and that you aspire to mimic or embody. Somebody in real life though. Maybe you have a friend who just seems to always have guys chasing her or a friend who is brimming with self confidence and could care less if men chase her or not. Needs to be somebody who isn't superficial either. Anyways, see if that person will share some insight with you. If they will help teach you or help you adapt a different mindset or approach to dating.
You're very cute thou .. u know I believe in the notion that you give off a certain energy depending on your feelings and mood. Try to tell yourself next time you go wherever you go to meet guys "today I own this shit". You do notice that people who clearly are confident tend to take center stage right?
I had a friend like you and I made her stand in front of the mirror and tell herself she was cute and pretty. To begin with she just "lied" but ended up kinda believing. Today she has the cutest boyfriend who was extremely popular among the girls.
Honestly we all have insecurities and flaws. Every girl wanna look pretty and be loved just like any guy wanna be accepted and feel attractive to the girl. But you gotta remember the most important thing before having someone love you is learning to love the girl that you are in the mirror and bringing your best version of yourself because you would want the same from a guy. Sometimes, I think being prettier just bring more guys who wanna hook up with you.. 🙄 I think it’s about finding someone who will love you for you, being sincere about wanting to build a relationship with you, and you guys should fit together... love yourself and find someone who will love you for you, vice versa 🙂 Goodluck ❤️
Here is the thing. I used to feel like I was never good enough and always obsessed about being single when I was only like 19 or 20. I eventually found someone I felt I could share my life with but after being together for a while it didn't work out. I went back to feeling the same way as I did before but after some time away from dating sites and trying so hard I was able to realize I was making this into some grand thing that I felt I needed in my life and it had to be soon. That was wrong. Eventually when I least expected it I did find someone.
All I can say is, find happiness in everyday things or find new interests you might be into. Make friends but don't force anything that doesn't feel right. Also do not compromise what it is you are looking for in a partner.
Oh yes! There will come a time when you will have every hard ankle you come in contact with trying to holla at you and you will have some guy who loves you more than life itself but you will not have any feelings for him whatsoever and all you'll want is for him to just leave you alone. Enjoy these years and get to know yourself and what YOU want in life and don't settle for anything less. Love is overrated save the word is overused. That is, until you find that one who completes you in every way.
First of all to me you look very attractive. And I am not saying that just to make you feel good. There is something special about the way you look and I think it is very appealing.
Next... it's not a competition. You are not competing with other girls. You are yourself, and they are who they are. Just be yourself and live your life. Maybe focus less on needing to meet someone so desperately. Work on your own life... making it happy for you. You cannot have a relationship with someone else unless you are happy with yourself first.
If you give off bad vibes, like you are not happy with yourself, it makes it harder to meet someone.
I think you are really cute. Remember, you don't have to attract everyone, just one special person has to come along who sees the good in you. It will probably happen when you least expect it. So be patient and work on other things that make you happy. It will happen.
Hi. Trust me you looking any different won't make those guys want a relationship more. If anything they will see you more as a hookup. Just keep putting yourself out there and you find someone. A tip... During this pandemic is hard, but once it's over find something you like and join a group about it. A book club, charity, voluntary work anything. You will meet new people and chances are they are decent people. I met my wife through a friend I made in while volunteering. Whish you luck. And for the record, you not an instagram model, I am honest, but you are far from ugly too.
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(30-35)
+1 y
You definitelly will find love! I would say you look kinda cute and nice (solid 6-7 out of 10), you look good without make-up yet a bit of lipstick would not hurt (it is just a feedback, it isn't supposed to sound superficial). In my opinion the look is only half of the attractiveness of women and the other half comes from her charm and wits. Just as much as we appreciate the surface beauty we fall in love because of those small things you do. It may be the way you laught or eat, the way you are passionate about your hobbies or the way you wrinkle the eyebrows when you are thinking about something
What I want to say, the looks is what gets our attention, the charm and wits is what turns it into love.
Here's a conversation that I know you can have. If you stick to your script then I know that this is what is going to happen:
You: "Hey, would you fuck me?" Any heterosexual guy: "Yes... You down?" You: "No, U R ugly and gay, why would I ever want to fuck you!" The same guy: "Oh *sadface*"
Honestly if it's relationships you're after then your appearance is very often the very last thing you should worry about. Why? because most guys would fuck a hole in the ground and if you're good enough to have sex with then it's just a question of personality when it comes to relationships really.
"Dating" apps, despite seeing success in few cases that are not the norm, are not for finding a relationship. If you want to find sombody to truly grow a relationship with. My best advice is to look in groups of people with the same hobby as yourself. Find people with common interests. Spend time with them and for the love of God. Be direct. Don't beat around the bush. Dont drop hints. 2 of my best friends have been married 7 years now and she was the one that asked him out. Guys arnt good with the games that girls play. And the ones that are good are usualy labeled as fuck boi.
I'm sure someone will find you attractive. But a relationship is more than that. It's about finding someone you're compatible with. That's the tricky thing.
I think you look cute and I have seen plenty of unattractive people in relationships, so looks are not something you need to be worried about.
Be sure to be comfortable in your own body and life and that will be attractive.
I am in accordance with what @OlderAndWiser has said, if you can really show your beauty, it would be a plus. Not only would you feel better about yourself, but more guys would look at you. You really shouldn’t bother to care what other people think though, you are beautiful just the way you are. If you want to feel better, you can try working out. It has worked wonders for me, and I’m sure it could for you. Maybe instead of pursuing attention on dating sites, go out into bars (depending on where you live, with the virus and everything) and meet people there! Trust me when I say you’ll have a stronger impact on people if you start up a conversation irl. When they see you on a screen, they will judge you based off of your looks. If you can practice talking to one stranger a day (or per week, try to set a goal) then you’ll get better and talking to people, therefore becoming more emotionally impacting, and people will remember you more and under a more positive light.
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1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I've been on dating sites, but every guy wants a hookup from me and I'm not up for that
Oh girl, I went through this for years. Always thought something was wrong with me because no guys liked me. Many guys often go for what is easy rather than what is quality.
You WILL find someone trust me. Just remember to focus mainly on yourself and one day you will find him. Quality men are attracted to women who love themselves first.
Sure, but you don't love much to begin with, not even yourself. Hence why no one wants to take you on as a mental patient project.
Not being mean, kiddo. Just be realistic and understand that if you can't lift yourself, then don't expect others to do so out the goodness of their heart.
Your comment "I honestly have really low self esteem" would suggest that you are the cause of not meeting boys. They can sense how needy you are and it scares them off. Cut the self pity, grow yourself a pair, and march out there and flirt with someone you want as a friend. If the photo with this post is you, it is obvious that you must learn to smile openly and then you'll have to beat boys off with a club. Go Girl !
I'm probably going to catch flack for this, but if you want a man; present yourself like a lady. Simillarly, many girls would say that guys in suits look 10x better than guys wearing street clothes. Same thing, maybe try out a sundress and ditch the "i'm a cat lady" beanie.
You look fine, and attractiveness is anyhow multidimensional. It’s hard to say what the problem is just from what you’ve posted. What sort of guy are you looking for? How old are you willing to go? Joe far away can he live? And so on.
You have a pretty face but I think you can work on your style to be fair. What image you would like to give of yourself? Stylish? Classy? Artsy? Simple? Sporty? Right now I really can't tell what you want nor does it flatter you or help you stand out.
Everyone can have low self esteem, intact a lot of people do;they're just really good at masking it. Work on improving your confidence, do things that will make you change how you feel about yourself. You are not stuck this way , you can change & will change. You're still young, don't be too hard on yourself your life is not set in stone and you're capable of so much things & getting what you want. You are not ugly and shouldn't feel that way ever. Good luck!
by the way just a tip , I'm sure as you know appearance is big when trying to attract guys so I suggest you to improve on that and maybe just some things and try something new. You'll get the idea.
I think your attractive and beggers can't be choosers when picking a girl and I don't see anything wrong with your appearance, I like the idea that you tell the truth that also helps you to be attractive (( Hugs ))
I think you’re very pretty!! I believe you’ll find someone one day. You seem like a very sweet person. Try going out to places you enjoy more. Confidence makes everyone look better!! I’m here to text if you want.
Love works in mysterious ways & I always say I have a better chance of getting hit by lightning on a submarine however lightning can strike & love will kick you in the @$$ when you least expect it. Sexy all the way you are & remember that.
You have potential, but you are very unflattering right now, you need a major makeover with hair, you might also want to get rid of the hat and get some more “wild”clothes
love isn't conditional, just because you love someone they don't have to love you in return, however it is nice when it happens, get to liking someone first and let that go where it goes,
It’s so sad to see so many people telling you to change into society’s standards of beauty. Just because you don’t have the latest trending top or shoes. You are beautiful in your own way, there is someone for everyone. And if you have to change yourself to find someone, then darling he’s not it. Lack of confidence is the only thing holding you back. Find who you are, who you want to be, and be you confidentially.
Well, you lost the genetic lottery. (That's your parents' fault, not yours.). You're not ugly, though. Just plain. You should be thankful that you're not ugly.
What is the point of going out of your way to comment something so hurtful? She is beautiful—maybe not to you, but you do not have the right to tell someone whether or not they are pretty or ugly. Also you didn’t even answer her question. Best not to.
@Paolaa988 Only you could construe "You're not ugly" into "you're ugly.". Great logic there. You're well on your way to becoming a Supreme Court Justice.
@PinkGiraffee Oh, so you agree with her logic, too? Well, maybe the both of you should start a club or something. You can call yourselves The Opposites. Your motto will be "Whatever is down, is up."
@Jamie05rhs I don't plan on it. This isn't the spelling bee either or English class. This is a platform for advice and clearly you were being rude to her and degrading her, probably making her feel worse than she already does. This young woman is simply looking for empathy and here to vent, you must have 0 given the comment and your attitude.
Wow do you feel better about yourself now? She's clearly not plain. You just wanted to knock this girls confidence to feel better about yourself. And they say women are bitchy
@Puppystarfish23 She clearly is. Stop lying to people. You're trying to do her a favor, but you're not doing anyone any favors. At least I was honest. And I was nice about it, too.
I don't know who Regina George is; I've never heard of her.
@Jamie05rhs i wasn't trying to be rude but i just think you were being so mean to her about that and giving her no hope or encouragement. Its like you tried to bring her down more. I guess you don't know what it's like to be outside the crowd and be the person that gets picked on. You really dont understand. She is pretty in her own ways.
@Paola988 I wasn't trying to be mean at all. I swear.
And I usually give encouragement, but I don't believe it's required all the time. Also, why should I need to do that if everyone else is doing it for me?
@Puppystarfish23 Take your toxicity elsewhere. If you think everyone is playing games in everything that they do, then you are going to live a very sad, bitter, and paranoid life.
Stop trying to put this on me and playing victim. You knew exactly what you were doing and now you're taking the cowards way out by calling everyone else toxic when we know in fact you are the toxic bully and now you've been called out on it your pretending not to be because your coward like most bullys you can't deal with the backslash when the tables turned
Because you saying "you lost the genetic lottery" was meant to make her feel better. I can see straight through you stop trying to make me out to be crazy because you got called out. If we're trying to be nice and I'm just making a fuss over nothing why did 5 people dislike your comment.
Own up to trying to bully this girl and take responsibility for your actions like a grown man instead of playing dumb
So now you amit but you comment wasn't meant to make her feel better... So what was the point of commenting something so rude?
I'm not dumb you are the one who is constantly going back and forth about what you said because you don't want to amit you were trying to put down this girl now everyone's turned on you. Coward bully
Ok, hun, stop seeking for a partner, you'll atract abusers. They can easily detect women with low self esteem. You don't wanna go that way. Better work on your selfsteam, before starting a romantic relationship.
You don't need to be a plastic bimbo for a genuine guy to love you. I like your style of appearance and I think it suggests something nice about your personality.
People whining about not getting laid is annoying. Put some damn effort into it before complaining. How many guys have you asked out? Let me guess... zero.
I am sure you would.. don’t worry too much about it. With your words you wrote can say you are kind, warmth and great character overall... someone would soon realise this of you... keep doing good.. and wish you all the best... 👍👍
Love is not 100% equal. The first step you have taken by comparing is the wrong one. Don't compare love to prove the saying that love is unconditional. True love is what matters, but not how much love. Good luck.
You will find someone eventually. Patience is the secret of everything. You're young, enjoy your free time and just be patient. Also, a lot of men are afraid of rejction, just because you don't get approached often, doesn't mean you're ugly.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
My advice is not to use dating sites. They all suck. If you want a guy to love you have to do three things. Scope a guy out that you think will treat you right. You can Do this by how he treats others around you. Two smiles at him and have eye contact. three, do nice things for him.
i think you look pretty nice. knowing my luck even if we lived nearby each other and were on the same dating apps, you likely would/have left swiped me.
You are an attractive young woman , I am sure you'll find the right one for you. Just give it time , maybe set up a profile on a date website and have a few different pictures of yourself and an honest little writeup about yourself
Guys will want you, men will and do want you. The problem with dating sites and apps is that there are a ton of little boys that use them. Sometimes you have to go digging through all the filth before you are able to find true gold
Well there's always room for improvement.. dating sites are just scam work on your self, get some confidence & trust me what's more important for a person is how they feel about themselves..
No, of course not, you'll be alone and miserable forever because you're alone now. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it? (A stupid answer to a stupid question).
Every woman today has thousands of options regardless of her age. If you're mentally unstable or just not happy with your options then that's your problem. Single women are single by choice.
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