I've never paid a woman for sex, like a prostitute or something. I never would, not even if I couldn't get laid otherwise. The main reason being that I'm only interested in sex/relationship with a woman who has the same level of (especially sexual) desire for me as I do for her.
If you're having to "pay" for it, if she's having sex with you in exchange for something, that's trans-actional sex. There's a mis-match there when it comes to attraction. This is what happens when a woman settles for a guy she's not as hot for. The exchange is about the man having to sweeten the deal. It's the more "beta" guys who have to pay for it in some way.
I'm not saying that all relationships are like this, not at all. I'm not saying that commitment is bad. I don't think it's bad if a woman will only have sex with a man she's committed to. I'm saying that the mentality or the trans-actional nature of the relationships I just described is bad.
In these relationships usually the dynamic is off. If you're a man with this mentality you're going to get walked all over, taken for a fool, under her thumb, divorced, cheated on, or in a miserably sexless marriage after a while.
If a woman wants a commitment before she has sex with a guy, it is within her power to do so. If a woman is okay with having sex without a commitment, I would disagree with her choice but I would support her right to make that decision.
No to both money and commitment. Some women like to act like sex is some kind of gift they give to men. It's really disgusting cause really there is only two reasons why anyone should be having sex. First reason: your horny. Second reason: you want to please your partner. It really shouldn't be for any other reason like the guy paid or was really nice to the girl or committed to her like sex isn't a prize. It's just something two people agree on doing cause they are horny and love each other.
Intimacy is not free. For anyone. We are all on trial, being judged as worthy or unworthy.
Has nothing to do with men specifically. (Unless you mean sex. Men do indirectly pay for sex, because they want it so much more, more often, with more variety, than women do.)
You can't pay for intimacy, and no one can dictate terms on intimate behavior in others. The concept of affection shared between two people as a commercially regulated commodity has only one such relevant effect on said affection, is that it devaluates it. This concept would be offensive, if it weren't beyond ludicrous. I have a better chance of opening up a legitimate business commercializing rain dancing, then you do commercializing affection and intimacy. At least my ridiculous concept is not mutually exclusive and in direct opposition of each other.
Release, because sex requires inspiration. You look young, according too your profile picture. What your sweetheart is doing for you now, isn't anything compared to the experienced hand and mouth of the mature woman who's seen and done some things. Youth has its advantages, but experience isn't one of them.
Massage and therapudic manipulation can be used too share tactile pleasure and familiarity, often mistaken for physical intimacy. I have learned that being physically familiar with another person's anatomy, and being emotionally intimate in physical contact with someone you share a special bond with, are not the same thing at all, and merely being physically invasive is not the same as being physically intimate. It may require an intimate trust of another person to engage in physically invasive contacts with your body but that trust in that person in submitting to an awkward contact or contact that would be awkward with some of they did not know as well and trust as much as you is not the intimacy itself but merely the proof that an emotional contact of an intimate nature exist to allow you to be comfortable with the contact that would otherwise be awkward and uncomfortable with other people.
There was this guy who always kept buying prostitutes and promenading himself with them. I thought "what a disgusting creature" but then he said something that made me change my opinion in him and it stuck with me... "There's no such thing as free pussy. You can pay with money like me, you can pay with your time, you can pay with commitment, you can pay with friendship, but there is no such thing as free pussy."
So true. Who in their right mind would f a guy who has nothing to offer? Actually screw this, applies vice versa as well!
I would only agree that men should have to pay for intimacy if women should to, I am all about equal rights. Of course a man would probably have to go somewhere where women out number the men to get the women to pay for intimacy.
To pay with cash is prostitution, to pay with a relationship means a lot of mean would not really like someone, just they want to get some... I don't think any woman really wants to have a relationship with a man who really just wants to get some. Unless of course that is her goal too.
People should be direct about what they want. if a woman wants to trade sex for something else, she should just say so. Similarly, if a man wants sex in exchange for dinner and a show, he should say that. In his memoirs, Richard Feynman (famous physicist) reported discovering that the best way to get sex from showgirls was to ask them directly “If I buy you dinner will you sleep with me?” Most we’re honest. If they said yes, then they would and did. Simply inviting them to dinner was not as successful.
Women feel “played” because they think that having sex will lead to commitment. It doesn’t.
I'm starting to think that guys actually believe this. Women think men only want sex and men think women are using them for their money. What is seriously going on? 😂 Women CAN and are willing to have sex with no strings attached. I promise you this is true and probably for more women than you think.
@crazyish What about if you just meet, however, and just like being together, and sharing good food, or Microbrew beer, or even some Elegant, flavored waters (do they have that? LOL!!) Why can't two people just get to know each other, and NEVER THINK ABOUT SEX? What happened, to just getting to know each other, and liking the things they shared, that you didn't know, like with food, or music, or just being together, for no other reason, than just liking that person, and being together?
@feelicks dude no, don't do that, women are sexually attracted to confidence.. ever wonder why a girl would put up with a dickbag and being treatedlike shit? Because he's confident, cocky even. Girls are constantly trying to overcome their own insecurities, we honestly get sick of them so insecure guys, scream more work as in fuck I'm trying to build myself up already and I can't handle building someone else up too and I just want to be wanted to feel better. Looks don't matter. Its just that good looking males have an easier time achieving that level of confidence. And even good looking people who are insecure get looked over. Insecure = needy. Sexually what feels better being needed or wanted? I can't stress this enough.. most women want a man that can take care of them. The will be physically attracted to that type of man. What makes them feel reassured you can when you're unsure of yourself? Be 100% confident in who you are. Its that fucking simple seriously. Don't fake it tho, most girls are pros at faking confidence and will see right through it.
@JackSmy Honestly? You need to be somewhat sexual with your girl. You don't necessarily have to have sex. But people need reassurance that you can provide pleasure for them that their needs will be satisfied by their partner. Look we are all sexual.. its in our natures. We all have needs. Half of it is yes the person but I promise you that it won't last or be enough for one of you. Repressing your needs, grows resentment and makes someone yearn for those needs. Does that make sense? I love connecting with people in that way too but you have to accept that sex will always be a constant in any relationship.
@crazyish A lot of times, I casually respond, but not saying everything. "Never show your hand, too early in a Card Game; you're sure to lose!" I need to get to know her before I can even think about anything intimate! What's so wrong with wanting to get to know a lady, as a person, and see if you share interests, and can talk, and have similar ideas, before rushing into sexual things? So few seem to take the time, and rush into sex, and then break up!
@JackSmy True! I didn't mean rush into it. There's no reason for that. I don't really know when it comes to dating to be honest. In this day and age it seems like a lot of work. A lot of worrying. I married my high-school sweetheart we were together since I was 15 years old. And we have been going through a divorce for almost the past 3 years. I haven't really tried to date. And I keep thinking I want to but then I wouldn't even no where to start. I've been out of the dating game well technically I guess I haven't ever really been in it😆 its a whole different world to me. So don't listen to my advice on dating lol sorry. I believe my mindset is in a "needs being met only" kind of thing. I hope you find what your looking for and I sincerely hope you get all that you described and more!!
@crazyish Hey, things happen, that you might never imagine, and it can be really hard!! Sorry to hear that you are having issues, and dealing with a divorce thing. You can always send me a Private chat, and I can be a friend, just someone to talk to, and it's like as anonymous as "confession", well, maybe more so, as I am not a priest, and there is no voice I might recognize!! LOL!!
I hate... I really FUCKING hate that everyone acts like are the ones who should jump though hoops to get the other side affection and attention. Like our attention and affection is worth nothing. No I am not a bitter man, in fact I am married to someone who didn't aske to give anything in exchange for her "intimacy". But I can't stand that some act like we are the ones who need to give it all. Put effort, because we are not the prize. Both people on a relationship are the prize!
Nobody in their right mind would imply that "paying with money" and "paying with commitment" are in any way alike. If you pay a woman for intimacy she's a whore, plain and simple, and I believe whores are a disgusting, revolting thing. However, women have every right to decide they'd only be intimate with men who would commit to them. That's why so many men fake commitment and then dump the sorry bitch once "intimacy" has been achieved :) But no, not the same at all.
I don't think my question implies that they are the same. The topic is whether or not men should pay, as if intmacy from a woman was in the category of goods & services
Well never a guy ever paid me for sex. The only positive thing i got out of sex with a guy is his dick😂 now I appreciate commitment, like it would be a dick move if he hit it and quit it. Although its ok if we already had a deal to just have casual sex and thats it
That right there is a conditioning. I'll give you something if you give me something in return. Men usually pay with commitment for sex and women with sex for emotional bond. That's wrong. Unconditional love is when both partners are giving selflessly.
I mean like yes and no. Yes if there is a professional involved as well as to keep a girlfriend or wife happy. Heck, even if its for quid pro quo.
However, if it's for gratification on both ends, it's another topic. If a man and woman are bored and get into it, then no payment is monetary exchange is necessary..
If you don’t want to be emotionally involved, you can still have sex with someone without paying for it. You as a woman is saying that? When there are men today who view women as property, are you kidding me? If we can be bought they would basically be right. You are sad.
Well, "ought to" is just a synonym for "should", isn't it?
Anyway, I'm not sure I get where you're coming from. Everybody - and I mean literally everybody - has to offer something in order to get intimacy or even just affection. It's just how it works. But since you're singling out men here specifically and asking this question, I assume you mean something else. I just don't know what it is.
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