Boyfriend got angry at me for telling him to clean it himself?

[Anonymous]

Today my boyfriend asked me to clean the kitchen floor, I was busy with laundry and I told him “I’m a bit busy, can you do it yourself?”. He then got extremely upset and provoked and said he was busy doing the dishes, and that the laundry I was doing I could just do later. He have never cleaned anything throughout our 3 year long relationship, so the fact that he got mad at me for asking him if he could do it this time is very upsetting. He tried to “fix it” but then he ended up getting mad again for me telling him to do it himself and if he wants me to do it it needs to be later, he then said “he didn’t tell me to do it now”... Now he have locked himself in a room and is shutting me out and I’m very sad.

I’m just wondering if I am in the wrong here? I mean I just don’t understand how he can be mad at me for this, so please explain to me if you understand the reason so I can fix it.
I just don’t know what to do right now.

[SuperLillith]

I was in a similar relationship at one point.
His mentality was "women stay home and do all the housework while men go work all day"
And I understand that mentality, if the work he did was just as taxing or more than keeping the house clean. His job consisted of 'sit down, shut up, watch the dog, dont eat our food.' He was getting paid 11 dollars an hour 40 hours a week, to sit on these peoples couch, let the Yorkshire terrier outside at 10 am, feed him at noon and 4pm, go out at 5 pm to scoop poop, let him in at 6pm and go home.
I was to watch the 4 year old, do all of the housework, scrub the walls of anything that may be on them from when i had to go grocery shopping and left him with his son, carry all the groceries up 4 flights of stairs, and make sure dishes and dinner were done before he got home.
doesn't sound fair, but that was "my place"
He is a narcissistic crybaby that manipulated and abused me for a little over 3 and a half years until it pushed me right out the door.
I would get out if you can, your situation sounds like the beginning of the worst of mine. Try to find resources to help you get out and on your feet, if you need help, please dont hesitate to message me. I'm currently studying to become a social worker for DV/DA and I want to help as many people as I can before they are put into the extremes I endured.
Also, if there is anyone other than the author reading that would also like assistance the offer extends to you as well.

[Screenwriter]

Sounds like he thinks cleaning is YOUR job and he resents being told to do YOUR job.
I'd be pretty tired of having to do all the house cleaning. Washing dishes is easy. Mopping the floor is work. Maybe he wasn't schooled in this in his home of origin. But cleaning, cooking, laundry are tasks that need to be shared. They're all dirty work and no fun to do.
If he's whining about this, he needs to grow up and put in his time.

[Jamie05rhs]

I entirely disagree that cooking is not fun. Unless you're peeling vegetables by hand because you don't have the gadget that does it for you. But otherwise, I think cooking is freaking awesome, and I love it!

[Screenwriter]

@Jamie05rhs I'm not saying that the RESULT of cooking isn't fantastic, but the nuts and bolts, as you mentioned, such as peeling and chopping vegetables, beating flour and ingredients for cakes, pancakes, etc., IS work. I have neither a mixer, nor an automatic peeler. I do that work by hand and sometimes I break out in a sweat. I'm no slouch either. I'm out in my garden sawing, digging with my shovel, making compost piles (working on my third), mowing the lawn with a push mower...
I made my first king cake this year before Mardi Gras. I didn't get it right, but it was passable and was CLOSE to a real king cake, but it was hard work. I LOVED having done it. But in the middle of doing! Whew.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Screenwriter I enjoy actually cooking. :) But I'm a pragmatist, though; so if any part of it is too taxing, I just get a machine to do it for me. (Such as chopping and stirring, etc.) :)

I always say, "Work smart, not hard." ;)

[Jamie05rhs]

Great job on the king cake, though! I wish I could try some!

[teamvic]

Uh that's one fucked relationship, he's throwing a tantrum because he didn't get his way, tries to make you look like the bad guy and it seems he wants you to be his maid.

I'd leave him if i were you but if you don't wanna do that then just say sorry and continue to let him take advantage of you🤔😌

[exitseven]

He is not very mature. In a relationship, you need to be helpful, able to compromise and sometimes give in and take one for the team.

[Kas19]

He sounds like a toddler. I really don't know what to tell you. I don't date men that still act like children.

[SandandWaves]

I like to fix things too. You are busy right now.. ok, so he is in his room... maybe later he'll be alright after he licks his paws for awhile...

[Jamie05rhs]

No, you were not wrong. He shouldn't have gotten mad.

[Unit1]

He sounds like a baby.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

You don’t have anything to fix. Well not with him.