Could you have a relationship with someone 15+ years older or younger than you?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

My parents had a 19 years gap and I think this is why their marriage and parenting has been a complete trainwreck.

Updates

+1 y

I also have a friend (and ex manager) who's almost 30 and married a much older guy. She's happy on some things, not so much on others.

[Zealashton]

not really like,
its possible but. like if say for some chance ur like 30 years old ok, she's like 16,
and you dont know that info at all, and you chate and stuff, and have fun, eventually you discover she's actaully 16 but looks like 20 ok, and its been a year. of hanging out
now, if you stay friendsfor like 4 years, and then another 4 years after that, and then something dose hapeen thats fin

but this is extreamly rare, this is like a student ffalls in love with teacher, but teacher knows better, waits for several years to allow the student or man or girll to firugre our their own life and stuff, and then later on they want to actaully go out with their teacher form like 6 years ago still ok. ...

why i say that is beacue in high school ea assistent mr robbertson, and me would play MTG, hang out and other stuff, but i had to have permision from my parents frist,
and now i am 30 and i still hang out sometimes. we been friends for 15 years ever since i was 15 years old,

now if mr was a miss, and the miss was singal , i would actaully may ask her out, .

but would i go out with some woman thats 15 years older then me, only 1 months or 1 year of knowing eachother, hell no. thats just wrong,

hmm that should clear up the whole shin dig.

as like my friend , as well as my self, i have to be responsable and mature enugh, to not allow a under aged person, to make a wrong dision , .

just like how friend also did the same, he would not smoke around me when i was 16 .
he would not talk about stuff 18 plus,
but as i grew past 18 and started to live on my own and pay for my own things,
i grew up drasticly, the rose colored glasses where gone, as i hit 25, i fully realized how blind and ignorent i was of this world i lived in, all i knew was, school home, and friends, i did not know anyting about govement and other stuff,

this is why their is a age limit, its not about your allowed to date under age, its the fact that people of underage have zero clue what the world is truly like, at, like i mean like 16-17 and 18 year olds have zero clue at all about whats going on in the world,

but if your like 45 and she's like 30, then it is creepy or if she's 45 and your 30 , still creepy as fuck, but both hae enugh world exp to make adult choices,

so if i was 16 and i was haging out with a female teach, after class, and she was say I don't know 30 years old, and i had permision to hang out go to coffe shop , play games and stuff and be friends, only thats fin, but later in life when i am 25, i would have enugh knowlage to make a more adult choice,

mabey my thoughts on this matter can clear up the air some, most will disagree, but at the end of the day, if your above 17 of age, like 18+ you are an adult. you can make adult choices

[TheorionMage]

I've had several relationships with women 10+ years younger and one with a woman older. Clearly these take the aspect of 'give & take' "Follow the Leader" life experiences... You have to be mature and yet humble enough to respect and cherish the disparity of perspectives and BOTH gain 'perspective' advantages.

Any GOOD relationship is dynamically ever-changing with accomodations made by each partner to SHARE a perspective more-broad than either could achieve by themselves or with mere peers. DO NOT expect emotional support from your envious peers whispering epithets of "Mrs. Robinson', 'Lolita' ot 'Svengali'~

We HAD each other and EACH found 'value' in our times shared; no one compelled us to cherish one another's companionship. WE FREELY CHOSE IT! ~

[meetkitty123]

My spouse is almost 80. We had a lovely relationship. We bet 9 years ago and been together as a couple for about 7 years.
I enjoyed dating him because he treated me romantically and as a lady. He had mannerisms not often seen now a days. I had been trying to take several different men different times of my own age what I found strikingly different was the men I dated of my age were not go getters (Im not saying all men my age are this way only the ones I happen to meet and date) They would rather text a sup (short for wazzup 🙄) to me instead of coming up to me and greating me evening if we only feet apart. Some of them would say we would go out and never follow through. Yet with my spouse it was different. He actually spoke to me face to face he would go out of his way to drive by my home to check on me and just to say hello, if you couldn't do that then instead of texting he would actually call it's amazing what a real phone call can do for a girl versus a text or email. When he said we were going out he meant it he actually showed up as when we parked he would say hold on and walk around the other side and open the car door for me. As we would walk to our destination he'd offer me his arm and once at the door he'd open it and let me through first. If I was to sit down he pulled the chair out for me. He would give me cards with poetry or dedicate songs to me. He would send me flowers just because. What really won me over was how loving he was towards my children. He acknowledged that I had children and accepted them and when checking in on me he'd also asked me how they were doing. Often he'd even show up with milk because while visiting he happened to notice I was low. But he wouldn't only bring milk he'd bring other groceries as well without ever being asked. In my case I found the older man to be more generous polite romantic and gentlemen like. now this doesn't mean that I would discriminate against any age what I've learned from this relationship is I will discriminate against any one who would not treat me as a classy lady. Chivalry is not dead it is very much needed. So as long as I am being treated as a lady the man is a gentleman responsible full of chivalry and romance I would have to say his age does not matter.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@meetkitty123
Are you two still together ir not because what you said.
1. Parts of ut nakes it seem like you two are tog.
2. Oarts of it naje it seem like you two are nit together.
3 parts if it coikd be takeb as you are not together or if you are it's not good.

[meetkitty123]

@MysteriousDarkness
We are having a hard time 😔 he always had a gambling problem and he gambled over $10,000 during covid then I discovered he had suffer many mini strokes, and a big one on Jan 22 then we found out he has a heart valve defect and he's been diagnosed last month with vascular dementia. These things changed him. he's on meds now which are helping.

[Anonymous]

My first husband was only 2 years older than me and we had a pretty terrible relationship. My current husband is 16 years younger than me and we have a great relationship. However, I will say I think my husband is very much the exception to the rule when it comes to younger guys. He's very, very mature for his age (Also, I'm probably a bit immature to be honest. haha). As a result there's not actually a maturity difference between us even though there's an age difference. As a result the age difference isn't a big deal. Furthermore, he's got a good paying job and is self reliant. As a result I've never felt like his sugar mama. Also, for us the whole "kids" thing wasn't a problem since I was still able to have kids and was still interested in having more kids. If I'd been dead set on being done with having kids (which many women my age are) that may have been a deal-breaker for us.
Age gap relationships absolutely can work out (my relationship is an example of that). However, there still has to be compatible maturity levels and you still have to have compatible goals. This is more unlikely with a greater age gap, but it certainly isn't impossible. Moreover, I'm not sure you can blame a failed age gap marriage purely as a consequence of the age gap. There are plenty of bad relationships where the two people are close in age. If the age gap relationship's failure wasn't a result of a maturity gap or a difference of goals strongly related to a difference in age gap (such as having kids) then I think it's fair to say the relationship would have failed even if they'd been closer in age

[jennifer_bloom]

An older guy might not view me as an equal and a younger guy might not love me and just be using me for money so I prefer a guy who is not too old or young

[Teaganp]

At my stage in life right now, 19. I would say no, because there are lots of growths that happen in 15 years. My boyfriend now is only 2 years older than me but I still feel like the age difference causes problems sometimes. I like to think I’m mature but I don’t know that I could date somebody 15 years older than me and make it work long term, I feel that we’d have to have similar values and interests for that to be the case. I don’t know that I’d even want him to meet my friends either though, and I would be incredibly nervous about meeting his friends. Again because of differences in our maturity. So right now, no. But maybe in the future I would, as long as our maturity levels matched up at the very least.

[YoGirlLeona]

Nope, that's disgusting and it will never work. For example, my grandma (mom's side) has an ex that she's been dating for years and he knocked up my sister (she's around 15 at the time when they started being sexual/romantic) and got her pregnant. He manipulates her, doesn't let her have a job, gives her drugs, doesn't let her get her license, touched her ass when hugging her and it made her scared. He basically raped my sister and brainwashed her. When she was 18, she had a secret boyfriend and couldn't say anything about it when she's a grown ass adult. So no, fuck that, that huge of an age gap is fucked up.

[worldscolide]

My wife is 9 years younger than my self. Back when i met her, if she were 15 years younger than me, i would be going to prison. 9 years younger than me made her almost 21. Even now if i weren't married, any more than say 10 years would be pushing it. I am not sure i could be with someone who i could also potentially be old enough to be their father, that just seems creepy to me.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Same

[lol20075]

My parents have a 13 year age difference and have been happily married for 22 years, My boyfriend and I have a 14 year age difference, and I do believe that his parents also have a ~10 year age difference. Again, happily married for 40 years.

I find the dating process kind of exhausting, so I make sure that whoever I got my eye on is someone I could see spending the rest of my life with. I've had a ton of crushes my entire life but I'm so effin glad none of them ever amounted to anything. My boyfriend is actually my very first boyfriend, and we love each other very much. I get along well with his brother too (older than him by 8 years). I've been told by a lot of people I'm extremely mature for my age and seem to have that "old soul" thing going on.

[slatyb]

The train wreck is not due to the age difference. I know happy couples more than 20 years apart, and unhappy couples born in the same month. I could have a happy relationship with someone 15 years apart.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Well they started the relationship when she was 15 and he was 34, so age difference played a factor there

[slatyb]

Yes, 15 is much too young. No one knows who they are or what they want at 15.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Yep. On the other hand, a 34 years old dating a 15 years old should know he/she is a total POS.

[DJB72]

The older I get, the more I think it doesn't matter. I don't feel much different approaching 50 than I did in my mid 30s so I don't see why it couldn't work with the right person.

I know couples a year apart who didn't make it because they were "too different" from each other and couples of 20 years difference who have celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.

I have close friends under 25 who I trust and people I've known over 40 years I would fact check if they said water was wet. It totally depends on the two people in the relationship, not their ages.

[IveGotNoName]

No to both. 15 years younger is pretty self explanatory. as for 15 years older, I'm in a place in my life, where everything is changing including me, and being with someone. Being with someone that much older than me, would force me to suppress that stage of my life, and I'm sure it would cause me problems.

[RolandCuthbert]

Real love!!!

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I don't know who they are

[RolandCuthbert]

You don't know James Woods?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHvkuGXAYQc

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

American cinema is almost completely verboten in my house

[Dchrls78104]

For me:
15 years older, definitely not.
15 years younger, only if we were compatible and she was different from the mainstream; too many young girls these days are disrespectful and would use the older man for money, insult his age, and cheat on him with someone younger.

[Gwenhwyfar]

15+ is a little too much but 10 or even 13 is doable

[lillianaustin]

I know someone, who's married to someone 15 years older, back then it was different but she was legit 15 and he was freaking 30 !!! he asked for her hand from her dad, I don't get why tf he accepted

[Gwenhwyfar]

@lillianaustin that’s way too young!!! I was thinking like early 20s and early to mid 30s. Or maybe a decade older than that (one of my exes was 11 years older than me).

[lillianaustin]

ikr, I agree, it is way too young to get married that is. not to date.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

@lillianaustin sounds weird but in some places it's accepted.
My father was 34 and my mother was 15 when they began their relationship.

[Gwenhwyfar]

@jean-marie_celine wow!!! Okay. I still think that’s too young to get involved with an adult and probably would not lead to a healthy and successful relationship.

[lillianaustin]

yeah, it's too much of an age gap to me

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Exactly, you know well how it ended and the impact it had on my mother.
This is why I'm not really favorable about this kind of relationships.

[Gwenhwyfar]

I agree with both of you

[ANR29]

I’ve only ever dated older men. can't tolerate men my age and younger. Even a couple years older. I like them min 10 years older it seems. Now unless I’m having a midlife crisis one day I may consider 10 years younger. Lolol

[Account]

Older no,
Younger no, even if I was older and they were legal.
I am not attracted to older people at all, nor am I attracted to much younger.
5 years older or younger is my limit and that is still pushing it.

[Realistic07]

No I’m both the simple reality is a 15 year age gap is multiple generations of differences. Basically I would just be inviting turmoil into my life, and I’d much rather stave off all the drama than invite it.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

I have absolutely zero interest in someone that is 15 years younger than me. i graduated from highschool 15 years ago. And 15 years older would make them almost 50. Again, not interested.

[Mia-Wallace]

Well, I think I can think about it. But I always loved the idea of having a relationship with someone around my age or the same age as myself. And that's what I have.

[SphynxUK]

My partner is exactly 15 years younger than me lol.
2 years on, and despite our own issues, it’s probably the best relationship we’ve both been in.

[UnlovedWife]

I could definitely date a much older man. I’m married to a younger one and the immaturity is a little difficult to live with.

[TremorJay]

No for both. It's disgusting, and that's my opinion.

[scott04sa22]

At the time. My best friend ex girlfriend 19F dump him 19M over a 36 age gap marriage with a 55M as of today they have 3 kids plus 2 from a previous marriage and their happily married.