How do you comfort your wife after a miscarriage?

[Countryboy2021]

My wife had a miscarriage on Sunday she's been very depressed about it. She didn't even do much she just helped out her son and other kids with the egg hunt she was running around a lot with our son. She did eat some chocolate she had 2 brownies and 2 cookies and a piece of her cousin's birthday cake. Other than that all we did was just hang out in her cousin's room like we normally do. After our 3 hour car ride home she started feeling cramps while we were unpacking the car she was texting me and my friend while on the toilet saying she was bleeding. She feels really bad she told everyone and our family when we got to Easter dinner everyone congratulated us now she feels really bad. She hasn't even told her son yet he's only 9 she's not sure if she should tell him he knew she was pregnant. His dad died 2 years ago she had a difficult time telling him she had to have my friend do it. She's probably gonna tell him about the baby the same way she told him about his dad all she said to him was daddy's not coming home he went to heaven she'll probably say the same with the baby once she's calmed down. She was really truamatized by it especially since it happened on a holiday when she missed and needed her ex husband the most. How can I comfort her through this?

[zeitgeist057]

It's easy to say the wrong thing, unless you are really good with words and careful. I think some of the best ways you can help her are to just be there for her, hold her, cuddle her, hug her and give her lots of love. I'm a physical guy, though, and there are other ways of expressing love. being your wife you probably understand her love languages better The Five Love Languages so maybe she would respond better to doing something together, if you made her something, or if you told her how grateful you were for her and how amazing she is.

The other thing I would do is encourage her to talk about it, tell you how she feels, and to listen while she talks. Just let her talk, keep eye contact, nod your head, say mmmcmm or otherwise let her know you are paying attention without doing too much talking yourself. I think this can be very healing for people to talk through something and come to grips with what has happened and how they feel about it by expressing themselves verbally.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

That's horrible, I'm so sorry to hear about this. My heart goes to you and her.
That said, I'm sorry to say there's not much you can do apart from being close to her when she needs your contact and support and leave her some space when she wants to be alone. She could feel like she failed or that her body betrayed her, so you and the rest of the family have to reassure her this tragedy is not her fault or anybody else's.
It is what it is, an unexpected tragedy.

Time and love will eventually patch this emotional wound up - don't expect it to fully heal as the scars will remain, after all she - and you - have lost your child, so take all the time you need to mourn the loss and take care of each other.
Take care of her and also of yourself - she might be feeling a stronger pain because she was carrying the child, but you too lost your child so you shouldn't neglect your own emotions and pain.

[PaynefulPleasures]

My deepest condolences the loss of a child hurts more than anything in life. Stay strong just be there for her cry together listen hold her closely be intuitive which I'm sure you are just constantly remind her it's not her fault & how much you love her & maybe somewhere down the road you'll both be ready to try again for now just be there love will conquer all❣️

[just_a_potato]

Loss of a child will always be the worst type of pain there is honestly nothing you can do besides letting her know you are right there with her. Give her what she needs whether that is space or constant cuddling. It will never go away but she'll eventually be okay.

[OlderAndWiser]

You don't need to say anything and, in fact, anything you can say will be rather meaningless. All you need to do is to stay with her and hold her whenever she wants to be held, tell her it's okay to cry, and. . . this may be difficult for you, but you can cry along with her.

[Justme143]

Yes perfect

[DarkDream]

As a mother who has been through a miscarriage myself I can say that this pain and heart break will eventually ease. It will always be with you but it will get easier I promise. The other thing and this is not going to be easy to hear but it needs to be said so that you an your wife can start to really heal you did not LOSE your child. Your baby isn't in the lost and found your beautiful baby perished and you should mourn that loss. Both of you should. I am not saying this to be mean for those of you who may think I am or for those who read this the wrong way.
Marriage's can end because of this sorrow because it so deep soul deep.
Sometimes it doesn't take much to cause a miscarriage a wrong twist getting crushed while saving another child. The reason doesn't matter what matters is moving forward for the one's you love and the future in front of you. Sending you healing thoughts.

[exitseven]

It was a sad day. I hope you understand that most of the time miscarriages happen because the fetus is not viable. Maybe due to genetic or other factors. You just need to stay near your wife and listen to how she feels and just support her as much as possible.

[jessiie06]

Listen to her, be patient, let her know it’s not her fault. She will blame herself and it’s important that you support her through this and remind her that it isn’t her fault. Be patient when she’s sad and won’t do many things around the house. Comfort her and hold her. If she brings it up, listen to her and support her through it.

[Mehzmeh]

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. Except be there. Don't smother. Be there. Let her talk about how she feeling. She is going to have a lot of doubts about herself. Make sure she knows, she is the most important person to you. Make sure she knows how beautiful she is to you. Make sure she knows that, you are not going anywhere. But give her space to talk to you. Again don't smother. Ask her what can you do once a day. Not every 30 seconds. Ask what she wants. Take over some if the thing's she would usually do. Until she is ready to take them back over. Don't force anything. But also remember, you have to open up about how this made you feel. You got this.

[NoManToo]

Let her be the one to open up to you.

Sometimes a person in pain doesn't respond well to an overflow of empathy.

A constant reminder will just bring her pain to the forefront of her mind.

Just love her the best you can.


Probably the best advice can be gotten from women who have gone through the same.

As to her son. At age nine he may have some questions about how the human body functions out of natural curiosity. It might be a good time to sit him down and give him the "sex talk". Explain to him how a pregnant woman's body sometimes misfires.


Put it simple terms that a 9 year old can comprehend.

[sheikalana]

Ufff I think it must be really hard for a man to understand the pain and that's why sometimes they feel so helpless. Give her full support, care for her and be very patient. A misarrange is emotionally and physically damaging and each women needs time to heal her wounds. Be there for her and try to put yourself in her shoes.

[Agape93]

Yeap I was right. So which is it, did she miscarry or is she going through labor?


Oh love how you deleted my comment on the other one. Probably don’t like being called out on it. Lol so go ahead and delete this one too, you’ve been reported as a troll.

[shereeyaa]

Time will heal... Go somewhere on outing.. Somewhere peaceful like beaches or mountains... Pamper her.. Make love... As soon as time passes she will be pregnant again.. And everything is normal...

Remember one thing 'Whatever happens.. Happens for a reason' '

[hello_kitty_man]

My friend all I can say about this is, just be there for her because this will be a very challenging and emotional time for her. Be supportive, and maybe make her favourite food, give her plenty of love, give flowers and say many times that if she needs to talk be a gentleman and give her your ear. With love and support the two of you will be able to get through this together.

[DizzyDesii]

You should hold a candlelight memorial and tell her you’ll never forget the beautiful kid you attempted to create and that you’ll try for another child once she's healed

[EaterPeter]

Be calm and kind. Find her love language and use it. Find the her sorry language and use it. Listen to her. And empathize. Repeat what she said I'm your own words. Let her finish. Ask her if she needs help or advice or she just wants you to listen. She may say she needs help and then go on and talk and talk. Which means keep quite and listen.

[Anonymous]

Dude, miscarriages suck. My wife has had 2 of them. They're actually more common than people realize because of the reluctance to talk about it. But it's really just random bad luck. The good news is she already has a healthy child. It really pays to focus on that. And hopefully things go better the next time.

[whatdoyouwantt]

Try to be there for her, treat her with love, this is a really painful moment

[karaspara]

You must both be devastated very sorry to hear this be there for her and don’t rush her with her grief but don’t forget this has happened to you as well God bless

[mgt1ger]

All you can do is be there for her
Support her don't pressure her as she is grieving
Just being there and knowing ypu are with her will be comforting

[Djaay]

Wow women , some of you vote yes for abortion , but here the same ones wept for a woman's miscarriage. The irony

[awebee]

A natural abortion... something wasn't right your body new it..

[jimmy2]

It affects both and both have to go through grief process

[abhi00007]

Just take her out some where Hillstation and motivate her a lot

[Justme143]

Let her cry and just be patient and caring ❤

[Anonymous]

Pump another one into her?

[sixtyeightplusone]

anal

[kevyhanma]

With divorce papers