How to comfort your girlfriend through labor?

[Anonymous]

Me and my girlfriend are having our first baby in June. How can I comfort her through labor?

[exitseven]

We went to the LaMaze class and we used what we learned to get through it.

[DaveJord]

Don't try, just be there and be quiet... if she wants something she'll tell you. Keep your mouth shut.

[Cheechee4me]

Stick around afterwards, be a good boyfriend and father.

[Anonymous]

foot massage back massage shoulder massage cook for her and have a small luggage bag prepared ahead of time for when her water breaks and she goes into labor

[Opinion Owner]

so you won't be rushing at the last minute to get the stuff you'll need when you take her to the hospital.

[Opinion Owner]

also you better start stocking up on diapers now and baby formula because that shit ain't cheap. and you better stock up on baby wipes as well. and learn how to fold diapers and get an inexpensive crib because that will only be good for a few years and you better both get as much rest now as you can because once that baby comes sleep will be out of the question. and start studying up on different baby cries because not all baby cries are the same. each one is different one for food one for diaper needing changing one for company and to be held. and start learning how to make those baby formulas and drawing baths for the baby which is in the kitchen sink not a full size bath tub and get a bunch of teething rings and baby asprin because once that kid starts teething oh boy you'll be in for a bunch of headaches when that kid starts to run fevers. and you need to find out about which part of the town has kindergarten and how long the wait list is. and stock up on baby clothes and toddler and children's clothes and bibs

[Opinion Owner]

and get a baby thermometer and start practicing how to freeze the teething rings and start looking for a pediatrician and dentist

[Opinion Owner]

and also watch out for ear infections those are a pain in the ass to deal with when they're babies but the worst is teething. and also study up on colic so you know what to do if your child ever has it or gets it

[Opinion Owner]

also stock up on some baby toys to keep that kid occupied when he or she is in their crib. and learn how to pick up a baby and burp it and learn how to wrap a baby up in a blanket and know what positions to lay a baby on usually on it's back. also when it gets older and starts to stand up on their own in their crib that's usually about the time you might want to start getting a small bed for the child so it won't fall out of the crib bang it's head and hurt itself. also get some baby monitors and batteries for the baby monitor

[Opinion Owner]

also get baby monitors and stock up on those and batteries

[Opinion Owner]

and stock up on baby bottles and baby formula

[Opinion Owner]

but when she's going into labor you can forget about all that breathing bullshit techniques and have the doctor dope her up on epidurals because she'll need that shit. oh and speaking of shit if she says she's gotta take a shit when she's pushing that kid out of her vagina expect to hold your breath because odds are she will be shitting when she's pushing that kid out of her vagina. and also just be prepared to see that kid in her uteral and vagina blood and mucus over it's head and body until the nurses clean the kid off. oh and get her some breast pumps and tell her to start practicing pinching and pulling her nipples and tell her to start practicing using her breast pumps to toughen her nipples up because when that kid starts sucking on her nipples it's gonna hurt her and she'll start bitching and complaining about it

[Opinion Owner]

and after that kid is born you can forget about sex for at least 6 to 8 weeks because the inside of her vagina will be stitched up in stitches and she'll be sore as hell from pushing that kid out of her vagina. so when that kid is born you better get used to using your hands again for your sex time because you sure as hell won't be getting any from her for quite a while. you'd be lucky if you even get a blowjob after that kid is born. so you better get reacquainted with your hands when that kid is born

[Opinion Owner]

vagina will be stitched up inside*