Now I have one more year left in my master's.đ
I've never officially dated anyone, now I'm 22 and studying my master's. Do you have any suggestions as how to start dating?
Now I have one more year left in my master's.đ
There is a primary reason and, in your case, two more reasons why it will not be easy to get a girl or young woman within your league. The primary reason is Alpha males date and fuck Beta girls, but they marry Alphas. However, most pretty Beta girls in your league don't know that so they have unrealistic standards. They chase after the hottest Alpha males that will date and fuck them and reject nice Beta guys within their league. Eventually, after a number of going nowhere relationships, they learn that to get married they must find guys that will marry them and not just fuck them.
The other reasons, it will not be easy is because most likely the reason you lack experience is that you are attracted to unobtainable girls out of your league and, of course, they rejected you. That undermined both your confidence and experience with attractive girls. However, it doesn't take long to gain experience and confidence if you will do what you really don't want to do. That is, for two or three months, date big girls. They, with a few exceptions, will not turn you down, regardless of how awkward and clumsy you may appear to be. Your experiences with them will give you the confidence and knowledge you need to attract pretty girls within your league. However, I predict, you will not do that because you will reason, you don't need the experience and it is a waste of your time.
Regardless, you have a couple of advantages provided you set your sights on pretty middle-class and upper-middle-class college girls and the college type. Unless they are also college girls, you will not be very successful with waitresses and girls from low-income families because you are not their type. They will be far more attracted to the good-looking plumber's helper or truck driver. Not only are they more difficult but, for you, they are also far less desirable. However, you are on a college campus where there are more girls than guys so meeting and dating girls should be easy provided you DON"T set your sights on super attractive popular girls out of your league that are unobtainable for you. However, I predict that is what you have always done and will continue to do because you think you might get lucky and get a unicorn. However, that is about as likely as being struck by lightning on your way to cash in your winning lottery ticket.
You can avoid that if you follow the primary rule for men. That is, realize that girls should make the first move by smiling and saying "Hi" or give other indications such as touching your arm while talking to indicate they likely will be receptive to being approached by you. You can go where the girl is likely to be and do other things to make it easy for her to make the first move. However, if you ask girls, other than big girls or other unattractive girls, you will be rejected and likely rudely rejected. If a girl smiles and says, "Hi," etc., most likely she is interested because otherwise, that is not what girls do.
The other rule is, "Strike while the iron is hot." If a girl shows an interest, immediately ask for a date or ask her if she would like to go out with you sometime. After the first date, don't wait more than a day to call and suggest another date. If you wait to ask her or diddy dally around before asking again, she will cull your sorry ass out.
On the first date, be a perfect gentleman but, after that in a nice way let her know you want to get into her pants. You can say things like, "It's not your money I'm after." If you remain a perfect gentleman, she will cull you out. The exception is if she is extremely religious and/or scared of men. In that case, she is not a good choice because she has issues you don't need to deal with.
the biggest factor for your success in dating is setting your expectations right.
you wanna approach women? approach them then. contemplate your expectation of an approach. the expectation should be "to approach" nothing more. got rejected? doesn't matter. you approached. so: success! that's the formula that gets you far.
important tip: you don't need anything to approach a girl you're as ready right now as you'll ever be. just go for it. waiting, making conditions or thinking about it will only waste your time. surprise yourself. be spontaneous. just do it quickly and on a whim before thinking. that solves the overthinking issue.
do baby steps. if you can approach, next step is to get a date. again. don't expect it to be great. have "being on a date with someone" as your marker for success. so if it goes bad and it's awkward, you still win, cause you fulfilled the expectation of "being on a date".
do you see where i'm going?
I started properly dating at 18 and was lucky enough to be surrounded by people who started dating at 13 and those who are still happily single and focussing on their studies!
Honestly, as much as I love my boyfriend, being single during your young years, especially if you care about academics, can be a major advantage.
When I started online dating (summer 2020, wrote a number of myTakes about it, met my boyfriend there as well), I talked to many different men from all kinds of backgrounds and I feel like the pattern that was clearest to me was that those who started dating early/who were approached/hit on by girls had way more confidence.
This confidence is vital, because it's attractive!
Still, I always knew I couldn't handle too many past relationships, so now I'm with someone who only had one relationship in the past.
Some prefer an experienced guy, I don't, and my girlfriends also don't.
So don't worry about being "too old" to start dating, there's never the right age!
Don't be too picky, I had maaaannnnyyyyyy "requirements" when I was younger, but when I saw how diverse people really are, I realised that most things aren't that important at all. Hope this helps!
join a club or group activity to meet people. online dating is kind of shitty but its good practice. i think the best relationships start off as friendships, so id recommend getting to know each other first. take notes on what does and doesn't work with girls. on dates hygiene is important. take things slow and go at your own pace. pick activities that you both enjoy. have fun.
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Find a couple of girls you might be interested in and just be friendly and talk to them. Find out what their interests are. Do not focus on just one, it will look creepy.
When you are ready ask one out on a date. It doesn't have to be anything huge, just maybe dinner and a walk around campus.
You should do this now. No other time in your life will you have the opportunities you have when you are in college.
Well, I have no problem talking to girls as long as I don't feel anything towards them.
I'll try thanks a lot for responding.
While I was in grad school I barely found time to sleep, much less consider dating for the first time. If you stumble onto a girl you like (hopefully she's beautiful like the one in the photo) invite her for coffee. Going for coffee is "meeting" not dating, so there are no expectations. This means you can be relaxed. If all goes well, consider asking her out.
Go up to someone youâre interested in and say Hello. Just keep doing everything youâre doing now, but add in people you feel a connection with. If you can, be friends first. Thatâs the best way to meet your soulmate, in my opinion. Still, youâre 22. Focus on school. At your age, I was Senior in college. It was nothing, but a fuck fest. Enjoy it while you can. âYour window of opportunity is coding.â
*closing.
Start approaching women on campus or talking to your female classmates
That's one of my worries, I do have some interesting standards I see in people I befriend. For example one of my classmates is really pretty, but by knowing her I realised she's really ignorant. I wouldn't want to have any relationship with people like that, and I'm worried it'll be like that for everyone. Because I'm not a people person
I'll tryđ . I'm like Sheldon sometimes, little things bother me.
there's no better advice than just talking to people... building friendships so you can develop it into more if you want... this is how the real world works. you need to build things in order to get what you want out of life.
The earlier you start now the better, talk to people, itâs your last chance, later it will be tougher
Thanks
Start by saying hello. If the conversation goes well then invite them to lunch.
Age does not matter.
You are not too late or too early.
Everybody has his or her own time.
Try to do everything you could to make a girl get attracted to you.
Iâm 33yo and still havenât experienced anything beyond a few super casual dates...
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