Trying to win over boyfriend's Indian mom?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is Indian. He wants me to lose weight, get fit, and healthy. I'm not complaining because I do agree I need to care for myself and being fit will help prevent future injuries.

He is not being a jerk about it but hopes that I can get to at least 155 before meeting his mom. She is very critical of looks. His family wants his partner to be a certain way. His family is so critical about looks, he gained a little bit of weight and his mom was upset that he lost his abs. He is studying hard for a major career determining test... I think abs is the last thing to worry about.

Anyway, I love him. I'm nervous that his mom won't like me due to weight. Apparently I'm the second girl he has ever taken home. He's 27 and I'm 29. How do I win his mom over if she is super fitness and competitive in her personality type?

He told me that 20% of his choice to marry or be with me would come from his parents. The other 80% is him. We've talked about marriage and I'm just scared that if his mom doesn't like me, I'll be dumped. And even if I don't get dumped, I still want his family to like me.

Also how do I go from 168 to 155 by August? Even more to weight loss the better.

[slatyb]

This doesn't sound like much fun. It sounds like a lot of pressure, and if you stay with him, it's going to just be one thing after another that he will want you to change. Tell him that this is what you weigh right now and if he can't accept that then you aren't right for him.

[Danish87]

Getting fit is good. And good for marriage in India if it's arranged. Your seems to be love one

But let's say you will get fit now and won't able to remain afterward or say any other demand comes out then?
You will remain fulfilling things and it will be more of transaction than relation.

Relations can't be build on conditions.

[Danish87]

And if he is such in influence and controlled than you should rethink.

Not being negative, just saying things which can be issue in future

[Asker]

I'm white and he is Indian. His mom will never live in the USA. His dad, however, might. His dad already likes me. My boyfriend chose to be with me regardless of my weight before. I wouldn't want to gain the weight back and would try my damndest to keep it off. Odds are, his parents will not be around to meddle much.

[Danish87]

Well that's good you both will be in USA.
I just said make sure for future. If other irrational demands come forward he stands with you.
Well I don't want to put things in negative way, but it don't required his mother to be in usa to influence him.

If you have asked question, there is something which struck your mind.
Best is, you just mak things clear with your partner.

[Danish87]

You had any solution? Or had conversation with your partner?

[Anonymous]

why?