Why do most single mothers prefer single men without children and not single fathers?

[Anonymous]

Please don't pretend that this isn't a fact. It reeks of selfishness.

[hahahmm]

So they don't have to compete with a second mom, other kids... It's like asking why would a pawn shop only offer you $5 for something worth $20.

[hahahmm]

I'd add that most men who get with single moms tend to be easier to manipulate than the guys who don't. She's going to have a way easier time convincing the single guy who chased her, that his entire mission in life should be her.

[Asker]

I know why. I'm just trying to see if any of the women will be honest about it. I recently started delving into the red pill lane.

[KrakenAttackin]

Women are about extracting resources from men. If there are other children in the picture she will not be able to extract as much from the man.

[Curmudgeon]

Best answer right here

[Asker]

That basically explains it.

[hahahmm]

Right

[Safa01]

Lol what? We get degrees, work, i can make my own money. If he is a good dad it is just a plus.

[hahahmm]

@Safa01 Then start marching to end alimony, child support, and all the other benefits that the vast majority of women cry about needing from men. Independent women need to stand on their own feet and stop sucking off of men.

[hahahmm]

Also would be hilarious if men started only giving as much life insurance to women as women set aside for men. The tears would fill lakes.

[KrakenAttackin]

@hahahmm Bingo! But of course she will counter that she is "entitled" to all of the resources extracted from men and paid to women.

[coachTanthony]

That isn't a fact. The fact is most women with children want a single father because they understand what it's like to be a single parent not to mention have much more in common with them then someone who is single and has no idea.

"Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon."
~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

[MzAsh]

What’s up with the dislikes? You speak the truth here.

[coachTanthony]

@MzAsh GAG is looking into it. It’s happening on all my opinions. Bots or fake accounts I would presume!

[Asker]

@MzAsh no one likes a simp that panders this much. A majority of single mothers across the world (not just from your personal experience) prefer to take advantage of single, childless men.

[coachTanthony]

@otaku_owl_91 We both do this for a living. I think we would know what is actually going on through actually helping people. Thanks for the question and the comments though.

[OlderAndWiser]

"Please don't pretend that this isn't a fact." This statement is based on your experience, survey results, polls, or what?

[MzAsh]

Because single mothers are human and have preferences just as regular humans do.

[Asker]

Ok, I respect that. Are you a single mother?

[MzAsh]

No I don’t have kids

[Asker]

Well, the point that I'm making isn't about "preferences". It's about pointing out a selfish dating double standard. Single mothers are free to have their selfish dating preferences, but I'm also free to warn single, childless men about the cons of dating them.

[MzAsh]

I think you have a selfish attitude about it. People can do what they want, regardless.

[Asker]

How is it "selfish" to encourage single, childless men to avoid taking care of another man's kid? It's selfish for single mothers to seek these types of men. Sure, these same men can do what they want, but in most cases, those women wouldn't have accepted them if they didn't children. They know children limits their dating options.

[MzAsh]

Some men actually see these women as humans who don’t need to be ostracized for having a mere preference.

[MzAsh]

Classy.

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you think this is the only double standard in dating? Are you equally upset about the others?

[nella965]

@otaku_owl_91 I think you need to come to terms with the fact that overwhelming majority of humans ARE selfish.

[nella965]

@otaku_owl_91 and there is nobody forcing childless men to raise another woman's child. these guys are doing it by pure choice. Often these guys were also raised by step moms and step dads , which is why they make that kind of decision. They empathize with the situation.

[Asker]

@nella965 I was just trying to see how honest they were going to be. You have, so I have to give you credit. I was raised by a single mother, but after dating a few, I realized that the reality on our end isn't favorable, especially if their father is still around.

[nella965]

@otaku_owl_91 From my experience, men who are open to dating single moms usually are raised by step parents. People who never married prior to having children, tend to have parents who also never married. Kids raised by divorced parents also tend to have a higher chance of divorcing when they become adults.

[Qdbrown]

In raw nature the mother will protect her children over others. It's just the way women are wired.

Now there are some exceptions. If the mother is selfish and she feels like the kids wi keep from getting a mate, she might abandon or kill her children. Humans and other primates have been known to do this at times.

If the single mother feels comfortable, then she will prefer that the male care for her and her children. This is just a female quality. Another person outside her circle is not going to be as welcome.

Here is the rub, some single mothers will insist that a single father's children be as important as her children starting out. It's a survival tactic. Once she feels like she has the relationship, she will try to drive off the father's children. This is messy. It's also fairly unconscious. Women operate on feels and emotion. She can allow herself these changes.

For many single fathers and even single men, a single mom is a bad investment. The man is investing in another man's child. It's a great gesture is the father has passed or gone. But if the father is still in the picture, or will eventually, it's going to be messy to dangerous.

She also will limit the children she will have with the new guy. This is not fair to the guy if he wants the largest family of his own. It will be drama between the siblings.

It's better to start with a younger healthy single woman.

[Asker]

I know. I'm just pointing out the double standards.

[Qdbrown]

I understand. It's just way past double standard. You have armies of these single moms trying to shame and tame guys to care for them, like they are any other single women.

You want to see horrible double standard, wait until the guy breaks up with her and she tries to attached child support to him because she claims her kid now sees him as a father figure. That's when he will never ever date another single mother again. Right when she tries to poke in the rear with a red hot brand to really let him know she owns him.

[Anonymous]

The same reason why old fugly divorced men with kids want young hot single women and also complain when these young women use them for their money which they deserve since it is disgusting to date someone for shallow reasons and it is also disgusting when these girls can be their daughters I never understand why these old fugly men seriously think young hot girls would love them for their personality but they love these girls for their beauty/youth. Do not tell me that these men could love them for their personality. This is bs since the maturity level will never be the same due to biological reasons such as brain development and it is obvious that these men love them for their beauty/youth. That girls mature earlier than boys is also bs and is a "pedo" tactic that is used by old bastards who want to groom young women. Why tf should men my age be more immature than me? There is no scientific fact for it. This is also kinda an insult to young men. I also think that young tend to be more attractive. Sorry for writing so much lol

[Asker]

I'm not 30 yet, lol, but I get your point. Honestly, it isn't out of a sense of being a "pedo". Since I'm slightly older than you, I can say it's because older men tend to already be established whereas men who are slightly younger than me are still working on themselves. Younger women want special treatment the minute they turn 18. That's why older guys are winning, but this is off topic, lol.

[Opinion Owner]

Younger men are more attractive in my opinion

[Opinion Owner]

I feel more related to guys my age.

[Opinion Owner]

I also dont understand why a 30 something man would want a girl at 18-21 since the maturity level ain't the same and so younger girls are kinda immature

[Asker]

I know, but I was just explaining why older guys usually reap the benefits of dating younger women.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh ok thanks for the explaining

[420Rachel]

I'm a single mom and I am dating a single dad. Personally I like dating dads better than those who don't have kids. I feel more comfortable with someone who fully understands the responsibilities of having children. They know I won't always have time for them and that that is okay. 😌 We cherish the time we spend together even more. I have never felt more secure in a relationship before actually. And I trust someone who is a good father around my own child way more than I would someone who doesn't have children. As for why other single moms may prefer men without children? Probably for monetary gain. 😓

[ChrisMaster69]

@420Rachel good answer

[Vixxxen]

As a single mother, I have no problem dating a single dad. In fact it would be easier, because as someone else said, he already gets it and understands. I also would get the opportunity to see how he fathers his child, and have even more faith that he would do the same for mine. Just as he would get that same chance dating me.

I also would struggle to date a man that doesn't have kids unless he is older because I can't have any more kids and I wouldn't want him to lose the chance to have biological children of his own. Dating a man my age without kids is a huge worry I have as a single mom. It honestly is something I plan to avoid when I'm ready to date again.

[Unbeatable]

Single, not widowed, xxx in name. Just a hoe. Be honest.

[Vixxxen]

@Unbeatable you know nothing about me or my circumstances... be honest

[Vixxxen]

@Unbeatable and while we're both being honest, and working on my coffee, I would bet money on the fact that I've had sex with less people than you have (or at least less people than you've tried to have sex with because I can't imagine anyone longing to have sex with someone with a personality like yours). Also boy, as you get older learn to think before you respond. Thinking before you respond and self control are a few things that you will need for success in life. Another lesson "single" does not equal "not widowed." One of the MANY unfortunate things (and it's a long list of crap) that happens when you become widowed is that you went to sleep one night with a loving husband and an amazing father and respectable selfless man and the next day your freakin world shatters from something you have no control over and you're unexpectedly thrust into being a single parent. Another widowhood lesson, you don't even get the chance to grieve or hurt or feel because you have to be strong and wake up every single day and hold your broken children and tell them that everything is going to be okay even though you feel like absolute hell on the inside. So until you've been in my shoes don't tell me what I am and what I'm not.

Tl;dr: Think before you say things to people and remember what you are when you make assumptions.

[Unbeatable]

If woman wants to make assertions about her life maybe she shouldn't be known to lie 99% of the time

[Vixxxen]

@Unbeatable again... you know nothing about me. Until then stick to what you know.

[Unbeatable]

Ik you're a single mother and a hoe. But do you think i really care

[Vixxxen]

@Unbeatable you know nothing. Again, get off my feed, get in your lane and keep your mouth shut with you false unsolicited assumptions.

[Unbeatable]

Damn the guilt youve gots real

[Vixxxen]

@Unbeatable Baby, it's not guilt. I've got nothing to be guilty for. It's the fact that clearly you've never lost anyone in your life so you don't know how bad it can hurt when someone like you uses that fact to hurt them. So did you hurt me? Yeah it freakin hurts, because losing your husband isn't a joke and it's hell. But I'll be fine. You, you'll probably always be an asshole, so it's cool. It speaks volumes about the kind of person that you are. So even if what you're saying were true and I was a hoe which it isn't, at least all would be was a hoe and hurt myself. I'm not scum of the earth who tries to hurt other people especially when the original comment was just my preference to date a single dad. How did that hurt you? It didn't. You just are a dick and decided to he one to me. It's cool. Again, it speaks volumes about the kind of person that you. Take care.

[Anonymous]

I have no preference. In my opinion, most single dads already have single and single moms after them so their dates are lined up or got married quickly after their last relationship ended. Single dads normally doesn't want to be alone and gets back into the dating scene quicker than the single moms. WHEN single moms gets hurt, it takes her longer to get back into the dating scene. The dating pool ends up having more single men WHO does not want single moms than single dads. Single dads have more advantage than single moms.

[MTC29]

It means that there is no need to merge two families (two sets of kids who may not like each other) and, unless the man is a widower, it eliminates any possibility of a meddling ex-wife.

My mom was a single mom (widow). Not only did I not want a step dad, I sure as hell didn't want any step siblings.

[Anonymous]

Lol think about women's as animals ! A woman wants full attention to her children only, full protection, full money having other children means sharing not only attention with them which will be moved out from her child. Also man with child have exes that are the woman which also the new woman will instinctively refuse since this ex woman will always be around her children and therefore the man. Otherwise it is always a lose situation to be with someone with child. Some people accept this well. Not my case :) and doesn’t matter that they have children also that is how they think

[natured]

To be honest if i where i their shoes, I'd always go for a guy that doesn't have kids. It's not out of selfishness, but i think there is always a risk bringing all the kids together, it usually causes drama. When you're a mother your priorities are your kids, and you want them to feel comfortable... if you are an amazing mother you wouldn't even look for a man but focus on your kids instead. BUT THEY WILL REMAIN PROTECTIVE mothers amazing or not.

[molonski2]

Its certainly a fact , but I think it reflects reality
As the Brady bunch is a hard gig , when I was a single father years ago , I was quite happy if my girlfriend had children , you are of course correct however.
Id say ease , less complex relationship.

[so_over_this]

It's all a matter of preference, I know women who prefer dating men who have been married because they'll have a better understanding om how to raise a family. I also know women who prefer men who have been single because they dont want history to repeat itself or they dont want to deal with the mans baggage.

[AnggieGirl]

I prefer a man with kids. He understand the extra hustle I go through. My ex doesn’t pay support and I don’t ask for a penny. I make my own money pay my own bills and pay for my own fun, pay for my own rent and bought my own car. I save money and don’t have monthly payments of cars or a visa. I guess I don’t apply to your original question

[AnggieGirl]

**the single dads I’ve tried to be with are not as involved with their kids; they have earful of excuses such as their ex won’t let them see his kids or his work schedual is a priority or he’s butt hurt and doesn’t know how to be polite and communicate so he ignores his parental duties***

[Saville_Row]

I guess because they already have enough drama to add more to their lives. And of course, we know other women are competitive. If there is another woman in the guy's life, she will bring hell to the new one.

P. S: I'm not a single mother, but that's my guess based on divorced/single mom friends.

[ChrisMaster69]

It’s not a fact.

show the data that supports this.

A lot of single dads actually end up with single mums, the entire meeting while collecting kids is a huge melting pot.

what is pretty much the norm, is neither get married again.

[DarkCarousel]

You’re asking a question but telling people how/how not to respond. Why are you even on this site if you’re not open to hearing other opinions? Where’s your data to back up this “fact”?

[Asker]

Are you a single mother?

[DarkCarousel]

I’m someone who enjoys giving opinions and reading the opinions of others— except when they given by someone who already thinks they have all of the answers, such as yourself.
Personal context is irrelevant when you describe a question this way, though I suspect this statement will lead you to believe that I am a single mother like the ones in question. I also suspect that if I were to tell you that I’m not a single mother, you would argue that my opinion is invalid. See how we can all make assumptions?
Please provide the data to back up your so-called facts.

[DarkCarousel]

But let me entertain your question—- I am a woman who has had friends, acquaintances, and even family members who are/have been single mothers.
What you say has some validity— I know some of these women who have preferred men without children, some who preferred men with children (because they seem to understand their situation a little better), and some who have chosen not to date at all while raising a child. I even know one woman who is newly divorced (with children) who is choosing to go to clubs and ride the cock carousel, as some so aptly put it.
My point is, you are making a claim about most single mothers, due to your limited observation and experience, as many of us do. It reeks of bitterness.
I’m more willing to listen, read, or seek understanding when you provide data to back up this claim.

[Anonymous]

I’m a single mommy i have 50/50 custody with his dad , and I’m dating a younger guy with no kids but I definitely would still date him if he had kids. I just feel like more single younger guys hit on me and have no problem with my son. I’ve never dated a guy with kids but it’s just never happened not cause I avoid them or anything

[Jersey2]

Because they have the pussy and it still works so they can get some guy to take care of her and her kid with the offer of another kid that would be for him. But she doesn’t want anyone else’s kid, so it’s a double standard.

[Rok4bakAR]

Because single mothers are delusional because when they were in their early 20s and they had no kids and they looked thousand times better they have a Lotta pickings somehow after their 30s they don’t seem to realize the baggages that they’re carrying and how much uglier they look like now.

[Anonymous]

I am a single mom and i don’t mind of a man i am dating have kids. I became a mom early so maybe 5 years ago I wouldn’t, but because I felt it would be too much for me. Today I would love to, it is important for me how he is with his children.

I have dated two single fathers, both had two children, but most times the kids are with their mom more often than their dad.

[Anonymous]

I’m not in the position of this ever happening to me yet but if i was it would prolly be because i don’t want anymore kids or i just don’t want to deal with the other mother of his kids. Mothers are close to their kids and she will likely always b in their life. But if a single man is with me he only has to worry about me and my kids. Perhaps if he wants kids this could change some things.

[Explorer91]

It’s probably hard to meet someone of the opposite sex that is single and has children as they are super busy. Working or hussling. Probably much more likely to come across a person without kids as they have the spare time to cross your path...

[TwistedTube]

Because imagine suddenly having to act like his child is your child's sibling. Or imagine being the child and suddenly getting forced to see this godknowswhatage child as your own sibling. It just creates a lot of difficulty

[Anonymous]

I have no idea if this is really a thing or not. However, I do know that some sensible and practical women with children can see that a trustworthy guy without his own children can more easily be employed to support her and her children than one with his own broken family to support.
All that's missing is the proven experience around children but they love to train you up, right.

[Coulis]

Because men with kids often have unfinished (sexual) business with the mothers of their kids.

I know it goes both ways but I find men pull that crap way more often. They will try to get some convenient baby mama tail when the drop off pick up.

[Anonymous]

Possibly to prevent "what are you doing step bro..." Or "help I'm stuck in the clothes dryer..." From happening irl.

Nah but really it's probably cause there's more single childless guys than single father's in the dating pool.

[Anonymous]

Single. mothers are whores trying. to. find a new home.
Treat them. like. the whores. they are

[Asker]

I would've made this the most helpful opinion if you commented sooner lol.

[Opinion Owner]

It's the truth. Why do you think sex is easier to get from single mom? They trying to lure you in

[nella965]

Same reason why you don’t prefer to date single moms. How selfish and shallow of you

[Asker]

How is it selfish and shallow to not date someone that had another man's kid?

[nella965]

Because you don’t want to raise someone else’s kid.

Single moms don’t want to raise someone else’s kid either

[nella965]

It’s kinda like saying ugly people will prefer to date another ugly person rather than an attractive person.

Even ugly people don’t want to date other ugly people

[Asker]

So should have the special treatment in situations like this? Seems a bit unfair...

[nella965]

I don’t think anyone would prefer to date an ugly person over an attractive person, regardless of how ugly they are

Everyone would prefer someone without kids regardless if she is a single mom or not

[Curmudgeon]

Au contraire. I bond with my fellow uglies.

[snackthatsmilesback]

I wish this was true in my experience, but I have to disagree. In fact MOST single moms I've known have gone for single dads. And I've known a good amount of single moms.

[Anonymous]

Many women are selfish and self centered hypocrites. These same women would condemn men for not dating single mothers

[exitseven]

Nobody really thinks the Brady Bunch would ever work in real life.

[BIG-BLACK-Robinson]

Bro they won’t even date me even if I don’t have custody of my kids. I have two kids. One with one girl and another with another girl. I got two baby mammas and they still won’t date me even tho I don’t see my kids

[karaspara]

I'm not aware of this so called fact there are many step parents both mothers and fathers as far as I know

[blindedd]

no idea, taking on someone else's kid i guess is just a burden I don't know

[DWornock]

For the same reason men prefer single women to single moms. That is, too much baggage.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Lol.. they don't wanna the drama that comes with it, besides the fact she won't have to worry about him giving money to his baby mother.

[In_Trance]

they don't. they prefer single fathers. they understand what's going on. guys without kids don't get it.

[matthonker]

Cuz they’re likely to have larger dicks. At least that’s from my experience

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why most single fathers prefer single women without children and not single mothers

[anylolone]

Same reason why single fathers tend to like non-mothers.
Baggage.

[Zygum]

Why she should like Used One, when she is getting fresh fruit

[Anonymous]

Same reason everyone wants childless people over single parents: no second hand families.

[Anonymous]

Yet some of you guys complain dongle mothers have a problem getting a man. Make it make sense.

[Anonymous]

They want all the attention on her kids and not any on his

[DaisyM23]

Never seen that as a fact

[Kas19]

No idea where you got this from.

[FunkyMonkee]

Maybe they don't want to become an instant mommy.

[canucker90]

I didn’t even know that was a thing 🤷🏻‍♂️

[malwins]

My step mom hated me for whatever reason

[Smegskull]

A lot of people are hypocrites.

[Iron_Man]

Big hypocrites

[Anonymous]

Sheer self interest