Am I asking too much of my boyfriend to meet my family?

[Anonymous]

We (24 F 28 M) just got over a rough patch a week or 2 ago where he had blocked me and we didn’t talk for 5 days (We’ve been together/dating for 10 months). It took me reaching out to him through Bumble (dating app) for him to be willing to speak to me. He claimed he blocked me because it was the “only way to get me to have a serious conversation” . Which I feel is not true, it seems more like it was the only way he could get me to initiate said serious conversation. I don’t want to get too deep into that since my issue now is that he’s not wanting to put in much effort to meet my family next week while there are 2 days of events where he would be able to meet more people. He doesn’t want to endure a long drive ( I would be driving both ways) or pay for a kinda last minute flight and said he doesn’t think it’s “worth it”. He suggested a trip to meet my family in a few weeks which would be fine but the actual family events are next week so it wouldn’t be equivalent. Am I being unreasonable for feeling like he doesn’t want to meet them? I feel like he’s great in many areas but when it comes to anything that’s even slightly inconvenient for him it’s just out of the question.

Updates

+1 y

Once we were speaking again he also said he had “hoped I would ask more of him” as far as making things exclusive and him officially being my boyfriend but now that I am it’s like it’s too much.

[Interstate]

Blocking you to get you to have a serious conversation... not wanting a long drive... being difficult about meeting your family. It is obvious to me that he doesn't intend to hang around. He has most likely already met somebody else he wants to get serious with, if he hasn't already. But I also think that the period he had of five days blocking you was his time of focusing on this other Woman. He didn't want disturbed or distracted by you, so it is easiest to block you to keep you out of the way.

If wanting him to meet your family isn't initiative towards recognizing your status of being official, then it tells me nothing makes him happy. I would tell him that you have been doing a lot of thinking about the two of you, and that you are having second thoughts. But something else crossed my mind. What is HE doing about helping exhibit your status? But no matter how you look at this situation, the red flags are saying to me that he doesn't want to be bothered with this relationship.

But as I had said, I would break it off and move on with life.

[bobalife]

Completely agree! 💯 I was going to state similar stand on your situation - it’s also VERY unhealthy how he’s already starting things by 1) blocking you for almost a week aka poor communication & defense 2) made excuses to not come meet your family even tho he made a big deal about your status and he knows how important it is for you aka low effort to be serious and prolong until when it’s convenient for him 3) he isn’t meeting you half way with time and effort.

Sure he may have some good qualities, but he’s not the guy who you would want for long-term with his poor behavior and treatment. I’m sorry, I know it’s disappointing. But it’s better to drop him before you continue to invest more and it’s hard to get out.

[Interstate]

@bobalife I would give you the LIKE finger if they offered it for responses

[bobalife]

LOL why thank you 😊

[Interstate]

@bobalife 😉

[Anonymous]

You've just been through a rocky patch. He's probably not feeling warm and fluffy towards you and frankly doesn't know if he can trust you to even be civil to him. And he probably really needs that.
You don't live together, haven't built up an unspoken understanding and deep love that time and history brings.
And you're asking him to travel far into the unknown and meet your family presumably for the first time. Who knows how you'll be. Who knows how they will be. No easy escape, no safe port.
If he goes, he's being very trusting. I'm not sure I would.

[natured]

This is unfair, e healthy relationship is also about sacrifice, usually when people don't want to meet their partners family is a huge red flag, at least in my case it always was.
If a guy is interested in you he would do everything to meet the people that BROUGHT YOU UP.
If I where you i'd not even chase after him with that attitude? Hello no, it's been only 10 months, make this trip alone, so you will also give him space to think about it and you can enjoy yourself, make sure he sees it though... lol
But not to be mean, but I think he is not serious. Give him space and give yourself space.
BY THE WAY
A man that BLOCKS his partner is a coward

[kyleelyn199723]

Time to break up. When me and my boyfriend got together it was important he met my father and he would ask about them all the time, even did research on my family. If going out of his way for you isn’t worth it, then he is bound to not go out of his way for a lot of things in the relationship.

[kyleelyn199723]

My family*

[Asker]

This is true, if he’s not willing to put in much effort now things would only progressively get worse from this point.

[kyleelyn199723]

Not just that, he should be curious about your family life. If he was to ever marry you, that’s the family he would be marrying into. There’s no reason for him not to meet them

[Interstate]

That is why long engagements are urged so greatly. Much time is needed to put each other through trials and tribulations to see how each other responds to situations, and you learn each other's tolerances and limitations. He is saying A LOT right now.

[kyleelyn199723]

^^^ exactly!

[OlderAndWiser]

Your relationship is inconvenient for him. Doesn't that suggest to you that there is a lack of commitment?

[Asker]

I see what you mean, it does suggest that he’s not willing to put in much effort.

[OlderAndWiser]

And it WON'T get better.

[Nawlins34]

You are asking way too much of a guy not interested in this relationship. I implore you, remove every word he mentioned and review his actions alone.

His actions say he's not interested in this relationship. So long as actions and words don't align, you will have this issue. Save yourself time that you can't afford to lose and drop him.

No man interested in his woman and confronts issues head-on will force her to find/communicate with him via a dating or block the woman he cares about for that matter.

You're working harder than he is, find a guy who matches your energy.

[BubbaTech]

OK, your problem is not whether he wants to meet your family, it's whether he meets your schedule.

you need to ask yourself how serous was the rough patch, and has it really solved enough for him to immediately meet the family.

the relationship seems to be on different schedules, and you booth need to discuss where you are in the relationship, and what the milestones of meeting the family mean to each of you.

If you think you can stay together, you need to be on the same page, or at least a couple pages in the book.

[williamstorm3]

girls stress about there dad meeting there boyfriend

[pleasestopthis]

Basically he thinks it isn't worth it, and it's inconvenient for him. Which means this isn't important enough for him, and you've already been together for 10 months, so it's unlikely things will change for the best.

[MannMitAntworten]

Last minute expenditure is not the “more” he was referring to. Further, with you two being at odds and your finally talking again and immediately pushing the parents thing along with increased last minute expenditure of time and money and laying all blame on him for being uncooperative. Well, if it were this guy, I’d end things with you. Guilt, demanding, and controlling… I lived this already. Never again.

[Anonymous]

How long have you both been together now?

[Asker]

We’ve been together about 11 months

[CantGetItUp]

It’s not too bad