In your opinion, does ''toxic positivity'' exists?

Question

As in - negating and invalidating negative emotions?
Personally I'm not sure it really exists - invalidating other people's emotions has nothing positive to it, it's just being toxic. However, being constructive about it and not losing hope is essential.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

This is an interesting idea.

I think the word 'toxic' is trendy and way, way, overused today. There are certainly times when it is warranted and legitimate, but it's also used too often as hyperbole when people feel something strongly, or really want to get their dislike of something across
.
On the flip side, it's like saying everything's 'amazing!' Which it isn't. Using words in this way actually has the opposite effect - it dilutes them. Then, when they've become too commonplace, and almost meaningless, people move on to another word, which culture takes up (usually the newest generation) who then takes ownership of it, and thinks people who don't use that word, and are still using the 'old' word are just... out of touch. Such is the circle of life. Anyhoo.

I do think there is something akin to this, yes. Basically... it's very annoying to some - those people who immediately take something negative or difficult, and 'paint it pretty.'
However, I know that there might be an equal number of people who feel the inverse - that people who speak openly negatively, too often or about too many things, are just as annoying.

But the thing is - most people personalize their own experiences as being more important and significant than whatever others are going through. So if you don't take their concerns and problems seriously, they'll get irritated that you've brought too much levity to it. It appears as though you don't care (because maybe you don't.)
So of course finding balance between all of this seems to be the most healthy and reasonable.

I have a half-written mytake about this, actually. I like this topic. In psychology circles, it's a legit concept. But I took a break from thinking about it as it got to be a beast (as many of my writing ideas do.) I decided I need to cover both sides, not just this toxic positivity side, so it wore me out. But I'll get back to it at some point. My problem is not writer's block, so much, but writer's flood, lol. How Not to Drown Your Reader in Extraneous Words. I should write about that. Oh, the irony, eh.

Also, see one of my qs I asked on this. I did a poll.
In your opinion, does ''toxic positivity'' exists?

P. S. I vote 'yes it exists, and it's annoying.' But I try to curb my habits and learn from my favourite people, who seem to have beautifully mastered balancing the two. My desire [need] is to be able to talk with them about dark things sometimes, but not let these problems take over too often. I also really want to play. They're just at very different times.

muscularbumblebee · Accepted Answer

Yes I think it does, I used to have a friend that was unrealistically positive all the time to the point of being naive. Now I’d call my self a positive realist but please tell me if for example a family members was sick, you failed a test and lost your job then that friend would come to you and say ‘don’t worry I’m sure things will work out!’ That won’t drive you mad?

Always Be positive.. but keep it real

dhinchak · Accepted Answer

I believe a trait becomes toxic when it starts affecting the mental health of those around you, or even your own.

And yes, toxic positivity exists. I've seen it in many people who want nothing lesser than the best outcome from somebody else against their own free will, for their own psychological satisfaction or ego fulfilment.

They would try to motivate you by marketing to you the benefits of performing well, even if those benefits don't matter to you, e. g. a boss trying to motivate their employee to work extra hours so that they can win company merchandise, which the employee isn't interested in at all.

They unload their expectations on other people without a second thought, as if that's normal, e. g. a sportsperson parent would tell their child to give up on their dreams of becoming a musician as it is veey important for the latter to become an achiever in the particular sport just because the former has a reputation to uphold among peers or in society.

They make it really hard for someone to say no to them. Others suffer because they are smothered by this behaviour so much that they eventually do stuff against their own will, just because they weren't mentally strong enough or weren't in a position to say no.

I think people in positions of power or those having the upper hand in a relationship need to be more careful about the feelings of the people that they expect things from. They need to understand if they're asking the other person to go out of the way for doing the things they want. And most importantly they should always ask "Would you be ok with this?"

weeee · Accepted Answer

Toxic positivity is when you are always overtly optimistic about everything. It creates this unhealthy environment for your mind where you ALWAYS have to feel good, feel content with everything etc.

And it's clear life is not like that. There are ups and downs, you have to embrace them. You can't delude yourself like that to completely block out a whole ass emotion from your life and expect things to not go wrong. Feeling sad or depressed is a part of life.

If no one was ever sad, would anyone ever be happy?

Adam1978 · Answer

I think stupid positivity exist, I wouldn't call it toxic no one can force someone or pressure someone and at the same time as keeping all involved positive. So I wouldn't say it be toxic. The closest thing to this is assume everything will just work out for the best because they have faith. And not take actions against problems growing in the horizon. That the cloest to toxic positivity I can think of.

AdithyaR · Answer

Yep it exists.
It's like if someone tells a depressed person to cheer up cause others have it worse.
Or saying stuff like everything happens for a reason when someone goes through very rough stuff.
That's toxic positivity cause it actually does no positive help and invalidates how rhe oerson is feeling.

Nightroads · Answer

My wife says I'm so positive in bad situations its unhealthy. That i come into adversity with no doubts about a positive outcome.
Perhaps my positivity has not steered me wrong, but i can see that it blinds me to dangers and obstacles. Knowing that i allow for the contingencies, though if i wasn't as self aware i am pretty sure my brand of positivity can be harmful.

Riley000 · Answer

I have colleagues like that... I stay away from them.. Stay far far away from them..

They can smile all the time.. Think that life is super beautiful even the boss has just given us extra work... Ugh...

I am the bitter angry kind when I am asked to work extra hours with no pay.. Lol

MCheetah · Answer

Kind of. I don't believe in any "toxic" traits, but I do think people can be too nice, cloying, or be negative using "positivity" (such as passive-aggressive people). Like, half of the women who work in any HR department are like this.

MoonStalker · Answer

It does. Especially when you have something the other person doesn't, and as such will never know what it's like. For example my autism.

loveslongnails · Answer

The only thing I can equate to that is being " a completely unrealistic. out of touch dreamer". That can be a bad thing sometimes.

Feelicks · Answer

Of course it does usually in the form of cowardice. In the corporate world people get shit on and demeaned constantly while pretending to love it.

Marhaban-1 · Answer

Yes you get diplomatic people who stab you in the back slowly and come for the murder

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Yes. If someone else tells me to be grateful for what I have I'll punch them.

fr44c3iqqs · Answer

Kind of, it depends what kind you are referring to.

rienna888 · Answer

Yeah it do exist. Like a boy telling his friend that he wants to ask a girl out. And everybody knows that the girl doesn’t like the boy. The friend still shows support and tells the boy to ask the girl out. Is that part of toxic positivity? Lmao

007kingifrit · Answer

oh yes its very common, being negative is how we learn. if you reject all negativity you cannot learn

Lillie_xo · Answer

well, everything probably exists ! world's big enough for it i definitely think there is toxic positivity in the world ! (✿◠‿◠)

rjroy3 · Answer

I'd need an example honestly. Wouldn't say it exists. There's delusional, but that's not toxic to anyone but themselves

Juxtapose · Answer

No lol. That's just the jealousy of depressed people talking.

Smegskull · Answer

Yes all positivism is toxic. To be positive is to let your guard down which burdens others with the responsibility of guarding for you.

bannacookies · Answer

Yes, I think it can for sure.

Stormdoğan · Answer

Being so dreamy is not good

Poppykate · Answer

I think you overthink too much 🤔😏

Anonymous · Answer

Its toxic when you're overly positive

Fion3il · Answer

ever heard of toxic masculinity? doesn't work well

Abdulwahh · Answer

Unrealistic positivity yes

karaspara · Answer

I think it's fake

MrJMM · Answer

Yes, it does exist.

fuzzy0ne · Answer

Very much so

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