Those who have had long distance relationship experience, what are the reasons they fail?

[Anonymous]

I’ve heard they fail so often and I’m wondering what the reasons usually are.

[Screenwriter]

Come on: THE DISTANCE!!!

If you can't be with someone regularly, how will you get to know them? How will you be able to casually meet up for drinks, lunch, to hang out with friends, go to the park, take a bike ride?

These kinds of meetings create a history between you that is "physical" and real. Via phone or Skype, 90 percent of your relationship is fantasy. Stats show that language only reveals 7 percent of a person. And language that can be edited via text or email likely reveals even less.

If you can't see a person's expressions, see how they dress, how they smell, if their hair is neat or messy or greasy, if their clothing is well kept or sloppy, if their home is inviting or a nightmare, how and what do they eat, you know very little about a person. What are their manners like? Do they have all their teeth? Do they BRUSH them? Do they bathe and use deodorant? Do they enjoy going dancing, to museums, the movies? Do they read? What hobbies do they have?

Only when you are physically present in someone's life do you find out all these details.

There have been people who've carried on online relationships for years and when they meet finally, everything fizzles because they were BOTH living in their heads about who the other person was. And when there is no CONCRETE person there who you have to reckon with, your MIND creates a person!

[Asker]

Very true

[Anonymous]

Sexual needs. Some can't hold it in. Also the reasonw why most men don't like ldrs

[caring__1]

With long-distance relationships, people tend to see what they want to see or what they fear seeing, but reality is hard to see. It's much easier to be on one's best behavior when visiting for short times. We can't as easily hide who we are when we are living with someone. If we're seeing what we expect to see, reality hits us hard when we're confronted with it. We find it hard to accept things aren't as we expected. If we're seeing what we fear seeing, we remain distant and guarded, limiting our ability to see the person as he/she truly is.

Another aspect of long-distance relationships is they're much like the Internet. It's much easier for people to remain anonymous and live multiple lives. They can be whomever they choose to be, but it's often far from reality. They can be guys masquerading as girls or give you a sob story to acquire your money. It's much easier to lie in a long-distance relationship, as it's harder to get caught. They're not about to admit they are closet alcoholics or drug addicts. The fantasy we create in our head gets blown out of proportion when it isn't tempered with reality. This leads to greater pain when the bubble bursts.

[ArrowheadSW]

I did have a long distance relationship but our work schedules didn't match close enough and we'd go a month at a time without seeing each other. Like she had to work some weekends and I had to work some weekends. It just wasn't working for us.

[Nikki6t6]

Lack of trust and insecurity… usually on behalf of guys

[Asker]

Guys feel lack of trust?

[Nikki6t6]

some do yes

[Starwitch23]

Couldn't keep his dick inside his pants.

[Anonymous]

Mine failed because she cheated on me.