Why do you think long distance relationships are so difficult for most people?

Question

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

As someone who has been in 2 out-of-state exclusive relationships and 1 out-of-country exclusive relationship, I can say that it’s definitely more challenging than in-person relationships.

Mentally, emotionally, physically, logistically, financially, it all takes more effort (if you actually want it to be a happy and fulfilling LDR).

Your trust in your partner needs to be on a whole other level. Cheating in LDR is easier than ever, so you really need to be sure you have a trustworthy partner. Even if you don’t trust them 100% you sort of need to force yourself to if you don’t want distrust to poison and erode the relationship. For the sake of the relationship, both people need to put their trust in each other, and risk heartbreak.

Emotionally, it’s much more difficult to comfort your partner when you’re unable to be near them. If they are crying, you can’t hold them close and wipe away their tears as you’d be able to in person. If they’re scared, you can’t hold their hand. When they’ve missed you, they can’t cling to you.

Everything needs to be done by your words alone, spoken or written.

(This includes sexting and phone sex as well. It’s an art that you’ll both have to learn.)

There is so much you wish you could do, but your words will need to suffice. And it will pain your heart to know that you can’t do more at the moment.

If they are out-of-state, you’ll need to coordinate schedules between your different timezones, figuring out when’s the best time to spend time together.

If that means if it’s going to be late nights or early mornings, you’ll need to make it work.

(I used to wake up at 4am every morning, just to make time for my LDR girlfriend, before starting my day and working a full time job.)

It’s going to cost a lot financially as well.

Shipping expenses for EVERYTHING. Delivery expenses when you send flowers. Travel expenses, flight tickets, booking AirBnBs or hotel stays…

Basically, if you want to keep your love alive and grow closer emotionally, it’s going to be a hell of a lot of work.

If you aren’t 100% sure about them, then it’s not worth it.

But, I don’t believe someone should commit to someone that can’t handle an LDR.

Distance or inconvenience should not be enough to end a serious love relationship.

If that’s all it takes to end a relationship, what you had was attraction but not quite love yet, because true love shouldn’t break that easily.

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

It's important for us to see words and actions meshing together. That is very hard to do when we rarely see each other in person. With little contact, we tend to either see what we want to see or see what we fear seeing, but it's extremely difficult to have a clear understanding of reality.

People often are shocked when they move in with a friend or loved one. It's very easy to stay on your best behavior when you see someone for short periods of time. That becomes impossible when we see them day in and day out. If it tends to be a shock to the system when we do see the person on a regular basis, can you imagine how much more traumatic it tends to be when we move in with a long-distance partner, where we base everything on what we have chosen to see rather than what actually exists?

Mamaliv · Accepted Answer

This is a though one for me, because I live in a very rural area and I am not interested in anyone local. So I’d like to be able to get to know someone and even a simple text a day is enough for me, look I wanna know I’m on your mind. I am always quick to communicate back, and if we click, I’m always up for an adventure and willing to travel on a whim. Trust me you show me your interested I will find away to give you as much time as I can. There has to eventual be the talk of how do we meet in the middle, of no one is willing to relocate for the other than done, obviously. But I am a very strong believe that if you really like someone you’ll give them a chance. A long distance relationship is a challenge, I’ve never been one to turn down a challenge but I have needs and I expect you to too. Either lay it all out and risk it or don’t even give hope.

CaGirl2023 · Accepted Answer

Yes I agree that Long Distance Relationships are very difficult for me and for everyone who is involved in a long distance relationship. I am in a long distance relationship right now with my boyfriend he lives in Los Angeles, CA and I live in Oceanside, CA. We both live in the same state but is still very difficult for us because the only communication we have with each other is from text messages, phone calls and with emails.

That might sound like it is a lot of communication but I would rather see my boyfriend in person and he wants to see me in person also. But it's his career that makes him not be able to see me because his job is very busy. We are making plans to meet each other soon.

DaveJord · Answer

Because they got this woman on the hook over 100 miles away... but they see and talk to woman irl every day. Long Distance Relationships are nothing more than retaliations of convenience... They only last as long as they are convenient, or something better comes along.

They are all easier to manage, but over time they get boring or can drag.

BadApple69 · Answer

I’ve been in one for about a year. I flew to visit her a few times but a relationship needs physical touch. I’m not even talking about sex but that too is important. I’m talking about holding hands, hugs even kisses. Without these things we will get lonely. Talking everyday doesn’t fulfill this need for the physical touch. So the desire will be to go find the physical part elsewhere, now if you are true to your love you won’t do that…. But the though that you want that will make you think that you partner wants that too. This will lead to feelings of doubt and suspicion, and will cause friction between you and your partner (and not the good type of friction that you both need). The relationship will crumble till there is nothing left.
In the long distance relationship I had, she was cheating on me… I could tell she was pulling away and then one day it was just gone.
I strongly suggest NOT to have long distant relationships. You will only get hurt in the end.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Lack of discipline/self control, and the fact that a lot of people are just boring. As much as I liked this girl I was talking with; she didn't know how to be an interesting or engaging person.

It's not that she wasn't an interesting person, she just didn't know how to communicate what makes her interesting because no one (no man, at least) had ever asked her to be interesting before.

She had always enticed and kept men around with her body. It's tough to have a long distance relationship with someone who thinks their body is the only way to keep their partner interested.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Because most of them are fake relationships. One out of prob 5 is a serious person trying to date. We are creatures that need physical touch and when you don't get it from someone your dating who's far away but u got a friend close by who u can see and touch daily and have a more personal relationship with your gunna pick the more satisfying person.

serious · Answer

That is because it is easy to fake, easy to deceive the other person and it is also difficult to make time if two people are in different time zones.

Even the commitment towards one another becomes questionable at times. LDR's don't really work out for most people, it is too stressful.

Anemone978 · Answer

I think it is the physical part.. because you always hear of people cheating in long distance.. and most people like things to be easy, so if someone close by comes around that they like it is an easier option. I did long distance with my husband since we met online, he lived UK I lived in Canada.. I suppose it worked out lol

BunBun369 · Answer

Lack of physical affection and attention. At that point you're filling your time with other things. Til the time where you don't talk that much phone sex that much etc. You're basically living a separate life instead of a life together

exitseven · Answer

It is hard to love someone and never have any physical contact with them. and then there is the constant doubts about the relationship and the fear that she will find a local guy and dump you after you invested all this time and effort into a relationship only to find out it was just a black hole. Then there is the chance that you will stop loving her, Maybe you changed and she did not seem attractive to you anymore or maybe you just waant your life to go in a different direction.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

They might not put enough work in to make it work. And you can't go on dates together (There is VR now, but not everybody has that.) Physical touch is important to me and if I can't have that, you are no different than one of my closest online friends who I chat with everyday.

Nightblade23 · Answer

Because of not getting to actually hold your partner and kiss them it's hard because you don't know when or if you will actually get to see them in person because of how far away they are and sometimes saying I love you or your missing them everyday just isn't enough that person can't hold you they can't be with you in person they can't introduce you to their friends or family because of the distance yes some people do make it work but it's very difficult

Anonymous · Answer

It's difficult because the physical intimacy is lacking. It's usually needed in a relationship but because you're long distance you have to put all your energy into accepting the intellectual intimacy and getting used to it. It's nice sometimes but sometimes you just want to hold the person or kiss them. You can't really do that with a phone or computer.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

thats easy:

- no intimacy, no sex

- no activities together (dinner, excursions/day trips, movie nights etc)

- no random talking or stuff (all that has to be done planned by phone)

- almost ALWAYS you both handle different when seeing each other in real life and are not what you expected

Anonymous · Answer

Because they're generally nonsense. A long distance relationship is what you have when you want to maintain that you're in a relationship (maybe for appearances or your own metal peace of mind) without the actually effort and responsibilities/benefits of being in a relationship.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

Well for me personally, I know I need the physical touch. I’d feel too lonely doing long distance id imagine a lot of people would feel the same

Drumlin2001 · Answer

People like physical affection. You can video call all you like it's not the same as sitting on the sofa cuddling. So to go weeks or months between physically touching each other is hard.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

That's just The Thing long distance relationships aren't difficult at all. I don't know why people think they are the relationships where you live by one another. Those are the one that's difficult because the expectations are so much higher.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Because they are not based on anything solid.

Huntingnfishin · Answer

You're basically both single people who have an obligation to someone you hardly see in real life. I say that having done it... twice. first time you're naive the second time you're an idiot

Staximus · Answer

Because long distance relationships are an exercise in futility

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Because you can't see the person, can't touch the person, can't kiss the person, can't hug the person, can't have sex with the person.  That's simply not a relationship.

Nighthawk_10 · Answer

It might work if the virtual part won't take so long. You have to meet and then decide if you want to continue, that's why you have to pick the right one intellectually and emotionally before you move to the physical part.

Anonymous · Answer

I think ldr's are better than normal relationships at the start because you really get an emotional connection. But after a while you need to be there with them.

007kingifrit · Answer

because the secret to a happy relationship is a full belly and empty balls and you can't help with either from that far away

moviedude714 · Answer

It's important to see and hang out with each other

WhiteBorr · Answer

Because now that AI chatbots are so advanced, there's not much difference

FenixG45 · Answer

It's very difficult unless you have a plan to meet IRL

zveryhorny82 · Answer

That u guys can’t have touch or sex when ur so far from each other

Anonymous · Answer

Lack of trust Lack of touch Ignored question Unanswered questions Lies

WhitneySnow · Answer

Hard being apart

Hithere4567 · Answer

Physical intimacy.

riverrat3 · Answer

People like to make physical contact

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Because most people prefer physical contact

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know they're easy.

BigDog1989 · Answer

trust, insecurity, etc..

Minahh · Answer

Lack of face-toface interactions

MaxUsefull · Answer

long distance relationship will never work

sheenagwapa · Answer

no physical contact

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