Just wondering, because one of my guy friends is coming over to my place for the first time this weekend. We plan to play video games all night and cuddle. What do y'all think?
Well if this is your first time doing this you can do it two different ways you can either think ahead can understand that the guy either likes you more than that and wants to go because of different reasons but he's going to want something. Or if you don't want it to go that way you set ground rules. We have all been through this where a cuddle has turned into something more or the guy wants something more and then has a pissy fit when the girl says no. When I was younger I have had friends like that and I wanted something I I was led to believe that there was more there but I learned a couple quick. And it wasn't until then I started looking at girls a lot deeper and having a lot more respect for them and just about that time there was a girl that liked me and she wanted to do more than cuddle and she would not stop touching me and it pissed me off and that made me think at that moment this is what girls are talking about when guys are bucking aggressive and that made me realize there are boundaries that you just do not cross. I have more girls that are friends than guys that are friends and that friendship with a girl is usually because we like each other but you have to understand that there's a difference is both people and how they understand and look at the relationship no I could go out with many girls right now my friends and I could cuddle and I could get laid. But in my heart I know that if we ever got into a relationship he would never ever work for long. Of time and that respect did I have for that person makes me not even want to go there I would rather be her friend than to use her to get laid and Say Goodbye as a friendship it's just not cool if not right so both people in your case you and your friend have to both understand this and ask yourselves what's more important. And that goes for no matter what type of friendship you have with the person you have to look at it and be honest a year down the road five years down the road would you still be together
First, if you are in a relationship and want to cuddle with some other opposite sex person... no no! I'd question the character of anyone even wanting to do that and if you did I'd say you really aren't good boyfriend or girlfriend material. But if you want to cuddle with another man bring it up to your boyfriend and see if they are ok with it. If not and you still plan to do it you two should break up.
If you are single it is fine to cuddle but the they you describe still sounds weird.
If 2 friends are just hanging out and one leans against the other and they started cuddling organically that is normal. I had a senior class trip to Florida and several vans went down and a few times my female friend sitting next to me cuddled as we were sleepy several times. But to actually specifically schedule a friend date to come over to where you live to actually cuddle. That sounds weird. To make a specific date to meet up alone to cuddle. You two sound like a friends with "benefits" type of thing rather than 2 friends who were organically hanging out and then just started cuddling.
Yeah I did, my boyfriend knows about him and he's cool with it. And it originally was just a 'hanging out and playing video games' situation since he is the only close friend I actually have irl, the only person I can hang out with face to face since me and my boyfriend are LDR. The cuddling just randomly came up as we were scheduling the hang out
Yes, friends can cuddle! I am very cuddly with my female friends and i dont really have much male friends but not all my male friends can cuddle with me, especially the ones that may have a crush on me, they can't. Just because I would allow some of them to cuddle, doesn't mean they have the possibility of sleeping with me.
Friends can hug, not cuddle. Cuddling is overstepping friend boundary. Why can't you just play video games and enjoy each other's company without cuddling? And who first suggested the cuddling?
You find him attractive? He's straight? He's going to try it on with you at some point. Next time cuddling and kissing. Time after that... Maybe break up with your ldr boyfriend and get with this guy.
My ldr boyfriend is more my type than he is tbh, so I don't feel that sort of attraction to him. And yes he's straight, and he did tell me that he had a female friend who he just used to cuddle with, but she temporarily moved out of the country
How will you respond when he is spooning you from behind and you feel him getting a boner? If you think that won't happen, you are not very experienced with guys.
Yeah, I knew a guy who said he was "just friends"with the chick he stayed with, then said they "just cuddled" sometimes.. yeah no they were having sex.. most times cuddling leads to other things, to me that's an intimacy that shouldn't be shared between just friends... And if you're boyfriend is okay with it, probably because he's probably "cuddling" other females, or will now seeing you're doing so with another guy.
Yes of course. I've done so with many just friends without it meaning anything. You see i am a very not conservative person so i don't see anything about been open with friends as weird.
Friends can also have sex with each other without it meaning anything. But that's a different topic it's similar in the way but... For example cuddling wouldn't be classed as cheating. But sexual acts would be. So that's a key difference if your friends with someone but not single. If single you can do literally anything with a friend and it not mean anything. When with someone not really. But usually non-sexual acts aren't classed as cheating so any of that with friend should be fine.
That been said partners right there own terms so who knows with all that.
Also don't be shocked though if the guy cuddling you does like you in a minor crush way. Just due to how one normally naturally happens when there is a fair bit of openness. But this crush never has to lead anywhere or mean anything.
I've cuddled friends and thought about them as i wished i was with them. But i've never made it awkward or made anything out of it. Since i don't make first moves and especially not in that position however some made them to me first and i returned the favour.
At the end of the day the simplest way to sum it up. Is you can do whatever you want with a friend with maybe only limits depending on status of taken or not and what set rules that taken status has.
That’s an excellent question and the answer is: yes! More people should feel free to cuddle. Some people are worried that guys might pressure a girl into sex when they are cuddling. That’s a valid worry and if the intentions are clearly stated but you feel unsafe, maybe you can get out of the situation. But if you trust your friend to accept your boundaries, you should absolutely go for it.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
You can be just friends with other genders. This is not just friends. What is being described here is being with two men and getting gratification on two different levels. It’s not possible to just cuddle a friend. It breaks friends boundaries. All which is fine, if all are fine with it.
Sure you can cuddle, but after that he’s going to want more from you rather he says it or not. That’s crossing the line of friendship boundaries because cuddling brings connection and bonding which can awaken emotions.
No. I mean technically yes because a spouse is supposed to be your best friend... but no, in the sense that cuddling is something a couple typically does, and regular platonic friends don't.
That said, worthwhile relationships start out as just friends who broke that rule, So if the idea of being his girlfriend sounds ok to you, I wouldn't overthink it.
True."if the idea of being his girlfriend sounds ok to her, she wouldn't need to overthink."
But in first place this girl is cheaky... i smell that in an air 😂just by reading her comments.. she will definally enjoy such interaction with that guy.
AND this boy oh he,'s GOT very lucky haha😁I think he is celebrating this whole idea alrerady by now, while we sitting on this app talking about it..😂
He will definatelly forget about 'gaming'! part once he gets to her house. Because I would.. lol
Only question! if is she's home alone in that time.
I would never be able to do that. But some people are naturally outgoing and free in their affections, so it doesn't have to be weird. I would only do that with a girl if we were close in another way. Although even if you are good friends I can't help but think that the guy has at least thought of pounding you from behind when spooning.
Well, he isn't hiding the fact that he is attracted to me, but he only subtly mentioned it. He has never said anything totally sexual to me, never hinted at ever wanting to do anything other than cuddle
I think the decision was already made in your mind so why bother ask..;D have a nice one.
I wish i think i need to consider thinking about having cuddle partner aswell🤔lol
If he is as innocent as i think, in his mind maybe it's okay...
You know this your story brought me a memory. Innocent but beautiful one.. this passion in her eys😏I will never be able to forget her eyes... the way she smiles
Yea... he can be your first without having a sex, if u never had such intimacy before.
I was so silly.. silly boy 1night while we were taking shower i told my ex girlfriend that she reminds me of that girl😂wtf why would i do that😅.. but anyways it was big drama there, I don't know why she was so upset😂just by story itself🤔
Think about your future husband... don't let him go through same what ex girlfriend had to go through...
Don't let him think there was another guy better than him in your mind. It screws love he has for you.
Get close to only guy u want form relationship in your mind.
Lol yes, he actually is pretty innocent. And I'm not thinking of our hang out as anything sexual, just two friends hanging out together. Pretty sure he thinks the same.
And wow, that's a story lol. That shower took a bad turn 😂
The thing is, my boyfriend is pretty open about stuff like that. He hangs out with other girls too and I'm cool with it. Plus, we're LDR. But he knows he's the only one I want, the only one I ever wanna be with, and that he's the best
These days, the business world is filled with cliché that we can separate bussines from personal life. But when it comes down to it, we’re not robots and Therein lies the issue.
I know u said Feelings are discouraged and it sounds so innocent 'just cuddling awww🙄😅... i bet some guys from here even dreams of a girl like you😅
I am also under impression that you do self-regulate well and.. may have the skills to effectively deal with feelings once they arise.
But still... There is a chance you start having feelings for that guy...
Instead of holding on to a traditional belief u holding onto..'open relationship'type of thinking and it feels like u trully believe it's gonna work for you in your relationship.
And u are not familiar with inadequate feeling of jealousy... it feels like at some point in your life , there is a chance u become single or happily married 'swinger' 😅😊there u don't give a fukk about fMily values or having kids.🙂oh man.. i typed here so much😅
Haha yeah, but honestly, me and the guy are pretty innocently physical, like a lot of hugs. And I really don't feel romantically or sexually attracted to him. He's just a pretty great friend who is up for some cuddles even though it might sound weird. It's not weird to me or him. In fact, we're totally fine with it. And my boyfriend, I love him more than anything and I can't imagine me loving another guy the way that I love him
I bet this cuddling stuff is to do with missing him (your boyfriend) You are mising him badly
It's very strange world we live now
One girl from Brazil that i made emotional (bond) connection with
Even not with, even she said she makes sex with someone else she thinks of me...
She just said, i want to meet my physical needs, just like that.
We never met before but she told once... there is nothing more beautiful but tonfind someone that understands your mind. She was refering this to me. And i do agree with her.
Ditance do not exist. Feelings the only real thing that has no border. If u love him it will deffinatelly make sense.
Just be careful... on a feeling level romantically we can connect to not just one person.
And ur love for him can fade away and relationship can possibly not endure this change in your mind or his mind.(Because as u said he is also dTing/seeing other pp aswell)
Yeah I understand. And yeah, I really do miss my boyfriend and I guess I'm missing some physical affection as well, and the guy friend is the only one I can actually do that with because he understands the whole long distance thing is hard. I guess he just wants to be there for me just as I am there for him. He doesn't think of having any romantic relationship with me, he's looking for his own girl he'll eventually be able to get sexual with and knows I'm off limits for anything sexual
Thank you 😊 I really do want to go and see him, and I will the very second I see an opportunity. And yeah, it's hard. Physical contact and affection is important in relationships, so it's too bad me and him can't have that atm. And yeah he is older than me, usually busy with work. And we actually video call daily. Time zones aren't too bad because it's evening here when he wakes up so we have plenty of time to call and text. He also always makes sure to text me during his work breaks which I think is very sweet of him
You're just fooling yourself if you think he doesn't expect anything to come out from this. Your kind of behavior is the reason some guys say we women "lead them on".
Cuddling is a form of being intimate too. I don't understand why you would do this and call him a friend. Then at least call him your boyfriend. And if you had a boyfriend, do you think he will not get jealous if you cuddle with other guy?
My boyfriend knows about him and he's cool with it. And I guess cuddling can be non sexual too, it's just a form of closeness. I know a bunch of people who do cuddle with their friends on a regular basis, nothing sexual
Yes only if they are both : 1- stright ladiez 2- gay gentlemen 😁
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
That will end up both of you on the bed... There's no real friendship between men and women. If man say you're my friend then he's probably 6+ figure and knows very well he has many other options but if things heat's up then nature have its own way keep eye on your pants
Hah no worries, I will. But honestly, I think cuddling with friends is just something you do to get closer as friends, both literally and figuratively. And just if someone is in need of affection, because everyone needs a bit of cuddling in their life
Things can get complicated really quick when “friends” cuddle……..
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Be warned: This is how it always starts. My ex and I started out the exact same way. I went to visit her one time as a friend and right before I left she was very affectionate. The next time I came down we spent most of the time cuddling and started dating afterwards. You might rationalize it as just friends but it's not. If you don't want a relationship, now is the time to draw the line.
Hugs yes, cuddles no. Cuddles have a different type of intimacy to yh m and I think that it would lead to something more just by the nature of how our brains tend to work
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Yes, however I would "establish" this with him before hand that this is ALL that's happening (if that's what you want). Some guys will take it as an "invitation" for more maybe? Or question it at least.
I had female friends and sometimes we would cuddle a little or maybe hold hands at the movies. Sometimes it would make me a little confused about the relationship.
