Yes I cuddle up with my friends.
was recently ‘forced’ to due to my current erm mental state lol.
it’s not sexual and there is no thought of sex from either side.
however the ‘known for 1 month’, that’s not really what I would class as a friend, it’s heading there but it’s still more of an acquaintance.
There is a thing called trust, it’s something friends have, it grows during your friendship, not sure a month really gives that, so in your case i would be cautious as he may just be trying it on.
Probably both honestly lol. Basically will "take what he can get" kind of thing. It is "ok" between friends, but there is a part of him what wants you, and is probably hoping you'll go there at some point. That doesn't necessarily mean he'll ever do anything inappropriate, but he'd like more for sure. I had a friend that we used to cuddle all the time, but it was kind of the same situation, I liked her also, and had she ever been willing to go further, I would've been all in! But it never happened, which is ok. But I would have loved nothing more!
Imagine you have a boyfriend and you find out he cuddles his 'female' friend everyday and is touchy with her. WILL YOU LIKE THAT?
It's normal to cuddle your friends but it's not normal to cuddle someone you find hella attractive!
It will lead to romantic affair, aggravate lust and desire. He's a covert manipulator. It's a red flag because if he's lying to you from the beginning then imagine what will happen in the future when he dates you?
I think that it is fine for hetero friends to snuggle. Before COVID, there were massive cuddle parties in my area. The movement has taken a bit of strange turn, but their events are the same, giant parties where people of all orientations snuggle.
I say that you take it up with him, and if he crosses any boundary, emotional or physical, then end the snuggling.
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It really depends. In my case, me being originally Turkish, we have culture and custom. It's pretty normal for a friend to hug and kiss on cheeks, especially if they haven't seen each other for a long time. But in your case, it you've set your boundaries already, and he knows your red lines, then he should respect it whatsoever. He should not even come up with such questions. When someone does come with such questions, at that point I will question his authenticity. I won't see any good intentions to be honest. And you have to be extra cautious when you're in a relationship. Because one side or the other always takes these kind of things serious.
That being said, like I said, for me it's nothing other than custom and tradition... But even if it's custom and is an innocent thing, I would try to avoid such things if it can cause the wrong signals on people's minds. Men's are mainly opportunitists, and they won't miss such signal. Why even put yourself in that situation in the first place? Friends can be friends without psychical touch... And a friend is not always a "FRIEND" if you get what I mean.
You already know he wants to bang you. The excuse he gave you is exactly that, an excuse. This is his attempt to get you both to become more intimate but make it seem like it went "naturally". So he basically hopes it will escalate to something more intimate. The fact you feel the need to ask this question is self-evident that you know that it isn't really as he makes it out to be.
In any way, thanks for reinforcing my take on Why it’s almost impossible for men and women to be “just friends”
No such thing as inappropriate, just whatever your comfortable with. Personally I am comfortable with cuddling a friend weather I find her attractive or not I ain't gonna do anything she hasn't consented to so if cuddles is all it is that is all it is.
Most girls I've been friends with have never be bothered by hugging, cuddling, sleeping in the same bed etc. Because they've been comfortable around me.
Therefore I don't see any issue. But if you don't feel comfortable with it then don't do it.
It was around college age, I took a gal friend of mine to a college football game several hours away. Was kind of that last minute situation where I needed to find someone to go with because of an extra ticket and I think my roommate couldn't go. She and I hung out at tailgates, gone out to good places to eat and clubs before. Reliable friend whom wanted to spend more time with, we were in-sync on friendship.
Only this time we would need to stay in a hotel after the game. We got like 2am dead tired like walking zombies. All we did was the simple brush our teeth and wipe faces, and fall asleep on the king bed together. There was some cuddling in the sheets as it was winter season, even holding hands for a bit before passing out.
"I have set boundaries for our friendship and he has accepted it."
Translation: I know he wants to bang me, but I've Friend-Zoned him, and he pretends to accept it while he continues to stay in my orbit waiting for his opportunity to get into my pants.
You cannot be "just friends" with a man who has sexual attraction towards you.
I believe as long as you both respect the way the other feels about it and doesn’t cross any set boundaries it’s perfectly fine. While a teenager I had a couple female friends I would cuddle with. We knew that we were not meant to be a couple and they both knew I would cuddle with the other but didn’t mind. At times the three of us would lay on the floor and cuddle together
I'd say if you trust him enough and you feel like you know him enough. Then sure.
I only say this because I cuddle my friends. Or rather I farm them for intimacy because I don't get to be close to people any other way, not for a long time. And I feel a great upswing in mood across a great span of time after I've had either cuddles or a Nice long hug.
Limited friendly intimacy is or can be a thing. But if you're both attracted to eachother then maybe it's not such a good idea.
I do give my female friends a big hug at times, but I think cuddling is reserved for romantic partners. If a female griend and I were to cuddle I'd only be okay if we're both single. But I know myself that I'll fall for her if we cuddle often and intimately. Hugs are fine, but cuddling you must be careful with.
He’s almost certainly hoping to change the boundaries of the friendship. What you should do is cut him off completely. Then if he comes back, make him make you understand that he understands what friendship means. Even then, i do not approve. Ell oh ell!
Honestly if you know he's into you wants to be something more I wouldn't you would just be leading him on for something to happen in the future. If he's not into you like that doesn't want anything more I don't see the harm in it. Just be careful not to lead anyone on. It's not fair to them
I would not call it inappropriate, ... but:
we can't ignore our hormones :)
It is indeed possible to have a non-sexual friendship; but the cuddles then go to the dog or to the cat.
So unless you are furry yourself, his dick will be on stand-by.
I had in younger years such an experience, a female friend, she needed a lot of cuddling, which her boy friend didn't satisfy, he only wanted sex. So she had sex with him, and was cuddling a lot with me, once she slept with me in my bed, nothing happened, be both had strict borders, but it was a very good time with her, unfortunately I had to move to another place soon, but I liked that kind of friendship.
Yes he wants in your pants, and its only ok if you want a relationship with him.
Either he genuinely loves you and wants to use cuddling as a way to get you to fall for him. Or he just wants casual sex.
Which it is I can't say, but if he only knew you for a month, its either casual sex, or he is simple in needs and doesn't need much time to figure out if he loves you, or you are a VERY open book about yourself and he trusts a bit too easily.
He's attracted to you. It can't be platonic. My girlfriend has a guy friend who insists on platonic cuddling, but further in my relationship with her he tries to make moves on her.
Those types of people that insist on platonic cuddling really just want to put the idea in your head of what it would be like to be in bed with them and then push your boundaries until they make that idea a reality.
If you are super close to that person, I don’t think it is inappropriate to cuddle. I have a friend way back college and we’re super close with each other. We used to cuddle each other like it’s a normal thing. But that’s a different story if you were in a relationship.
It's not exactly inappropriate, But unless he is Gay your giving him the wrong idea because he is probably hoping that later on you might warm up to him and want more than a Friendship.
For you its just being Friendly, But for him you are giving him hope for a Sexual Relationship, Like I said unless he is Gay.
It is okay, he‘s not necessarily trying to get in your pants, although cuddling itself is also somewhat intimate and a lot of people draw the line there within a friendship.
It is okay and appropriate but only if you want it and feel comfortable with it.
Me and my best friend have been friends since we were 11 and we cuddle every so often but we aren't touchy feely people so we don't do it a lot. I think it kinda weird and makes me uncomfortable
u with my friends this is the most common thing ever...
but we have known each other for 12 and even 20 years long, lol... not just two weeks
two weeks might be a bit more suspicious...
From experience, cuddling or even close, long hugs between opposite sex friends, where you can feel your hearts pounding on eachothers chests... it takes things from a platonic relationship to a plutonic relationship...
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