inspired by ‘Maid’ on Netflix… and a bit of life.
Do you believe screaming at someone, smashing things and punching walls in fits of rage is domestic violence?
inspired by ‘Maid’ on Netflix… and a bit of life.
Its lower on a spectrum, but its an issue. If they smashes something that you love then 100% yes. Also the threat of violence is as much domestic violence as actually hitting someone.
However if just being angry isn't domestic violence, its also worth pointing out that continuously forcing or triggering someone into fits of anger is also domestic violence.
I think overall people over the age of 6 shouldn't be having tantrums, but if someone is then both partners should be helping the person to deal with whatever they're going through. When no one is, or the attempt to grow is one sided, thats when it starts to become a problem
Yes. Many uneducated often useless idiots, as represented by the votes, think domestic violence is only physical.
Domestic violence is DEFINED BY MOST LAWS in the MAJORITY of states & countries throughout the US or WORLD respectfully as ANY behavior that is ABUSIVE. This includes aggressive threatening behavior - such as described - that the ABUSED PERSON can take as a threat to their well-being or even life. Very simply what is keeping the ABUSER from smashing the ABUSED PERSON'S face into the wall next time? Little to nothing is assured and FEAR of HARM is ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR.
This is as such considered DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. As is anything representing THREATS, any ABUSIVE verbal or sexual behavior, etc.
These actions can be lack of self control and if not properly dealt with can escalate to bad things.
There was a guy who had a house listed on the market, after the house had sold and the buyers were waiting for the title company to complete the sale, he got into an angry rage and caused over $50000 in damage. The buyers won in court since they had a property inspection done which included pictures of the conditions. The seller had to reimburse for the damages. The sellers family were all impacted by this mans lack of self control.
If I were a tiny little woman whose boyfriend/husband suddenly started doing that, I'd be pretty fucking terrified, especially if that guy were me standing well over 6 feet, ripped and fucking tattooed so intimidating already but actually has the raw strength to do some real damage if he wanted to. I'd be completely fucking scared for my life and honestly terrified that he might hurt me and even accidentally kill me so, yes.
Sorry. That's why I did that whole exercise of "putting me in her shoes" upon reading this.
I've never had a real girlfriend or spouse so I wouldn't know but I've never hurt any woman before and don't intend to, granted, I have definitely raised my voice before. I've gotten in heated arguments with female friends or strangers or whatever before. I'm also not a violent drunk. Not towards women at least. I tend to be more of a hugger.
Opinion
64Opinion
It is violent behavior and, when it occurs at home, those are sufficient signs to give a reasonable person a fear of becoming a victim of domestic violence.
Yes. The person needs to learn to control their behaviour. Anything that scares, intimidates or controls a partner is domestic abuse.
I recently had an incident with my boyfriend. He did something really bad. I knew if I stayed in the house he would be in my face trying to make it better and I knew I would become violent if I couldn’t get out when I needed space. I left the house and went and sat in my car for a few hours until I calmed down. I re-entered the house calm and we had a discussion about it. He was shocked I didn’t slap him or raise my voice. He’s never seen me angry before so he didn’t know what to expect. You have the choice to behave how you do when you are angry. When I was trying to leave a partner before he wouldn’t physically let me go until he had changed my view so I punched him. If you are prevented from walking away then fine but if you have your own free will then no sorry it’s just not justified
Its manifestation of "Fear me, I'm violent and scary" AND poor personal emotional control.
I'm 6'4" 260lbs and at 70 years old, can bench press my own weight and
I'm a bondafide martial artist... BUT,
while I CAN be intimidating, I ALWAYS FIRST 'default' to diplomacy.
If you start out 'soft' you can ALWAYS apply focused precision 'use of force'... BUT,
if you simply run amok, subsequent "I'm sorry" doesn't cut it!
You CAN''T be trusted.
I don't know about definitions. Absolutely unacceptable for me though as it would scare children. And depending on severity it can be enough to consider removing one parent from the home even if that is pretty bad in itself for the development of children. I wouldn't even let it come to that. Someone does that once to me and they are out before they know it.
Run and don’t look back. That is definitely something that will escalate if not handled properly. Whomever this is needs to seek some kind of attention because if they’re breaking things and screaming at you, it’s only a matter of time before you are replaced with that wall being punched. Many people say, “they would never hit me” but statistics show otherwise. 😞 I hope this isn’t a personal experience or if it is it’s a past one.
Not always. For example my friend has anger issues, he cannot control it so when it happen which it will about something he will punch the wall or something, never me though or someone.
That is for sure not abuse. Then there is millions more examples were it wouldn't be.
Them things are not mutually exclusive. Abuse is more mutually exclusive to neglecting, hurting, and psychological games that are repeated patterns due to that person not actually caring about you.
It depends on what the outburst was about. I mean, I might burst out with loud cursing when my laptop or something goes haywire. But if the outburst was over something that my partner did, then it's essentially directed at her, and that would be very frightening and abusive. It would feel threatening. And in a case like that, it would be a form of abuse.
I think it's a form of abuse. Isn't that kind of behavior meant to intimidate or terrorize?
It does have that effect… but children throwing tantrums do that kind of thing all the time until they learn emotional control so maybe it’s more a sign of limited emotional control than it is abusive behaviour? What do you think 🤔
I don’t doubt that it feels abusive and that it’s wrong but I’m not sure the motive is to be abusive
You make a valid point about kids' tantrums. I think the setting, age, other circumstances has a lot to do with it. If a guy were to come in to my place, start screaming at me, throwing and breaking things, and punching the walls I'd see it as intimidation and terrorizing me even if he didn't throw anything at me or assault me. He'd have to leave, either on his own power or feet first, I wouldn't much care which way.
Yes I’d say its definitely someone you should stay away from but I don’t think anybody’s going to jail at least not under domestic violence maybe for disturbing the piece or something like that and they definitely need some anger management and it depends on the situation whether it should be considered abuse or not are you being made to stay or are you staying to continue the argument what’s your roll in it
domestic violence is not violence directed at things. why do people have such struggle understanding the concepts of rape, violence, offense and assault? like no. feeling bad is not physical.
certainly a guy doing that is probably not a good partner for anyone to be with. but that's a different story. keep concepts clear and separated. don't try to throw everything in the same pot, cause then we can't understand the world anymore.
Yes and no , but I'll lean towards no , becuase every argument or fight couples have will be considered DV.
There's nuance to this.
You dont deserve this level of patience and generousity on my part, so try to appreciate and be grateful for what you are being given.
The problem with having a high threshold for DV is that it increases the chances of it going undetected. You create an atmosphere in which people are expected to tolerate violence and peoples complaints are dismissed.
This is how you make broken and dead people.
You didn't answer the question, but it could be, if you have grown up around violence that it has become normalised for you and what you consider acceptable is not acceptable for others.
It depends on who the property belongs to. If it's the same person that is smashing it, then no. If it's yours, yes, sort of. DV is generally defined as YOU being hit or threatened.
Also, according to most police and feminists, only men can commit DV - women never do it no matter what.
It’s kind of a grey area I think when it’s physical it abuse this is just domestic violence it’s not domestic abuse.
I have been the victim of domestic abuse.
I have been:
choked
Drug across the floor
Punched
Slapped
Kicked
Slammed into a wall
AND
Hit over the head with a glass dish
And thrown to the ground
ALL IN ONE DAY
Anytime someone tries to manipulate another whether its physical or mental it is definitely a form of abuse. It is a way of trying to control another person
I guess depends in the situation. But punching walls is already to much... I usually throw a pillow into bed or punch a pillow if I'm furious because of something. but i go somewhere else and do the shit alone.
Absolutely. The definition of domestic violence is use of violence within the household to instill bodily harm or fear of bodily harm. If that behavior makes you afraid for your safety, it is domestic violence.
100% its abuse , the actions are to intimidate and say " Listen , this is what could happen to YOU , watch me " ... Certainly emotional , physical abuse.
Remember that Domestic Violence also includes Domestic Abuse, and the behavior you've described, as well threats, manipulation, and name-calling, all qualify.
yes, this can be considered a form of abuse... it's on the details and the circumstances as well, but still very possible for this to be a way to intimidate in a very abusive way
Yes that’s emotional abuse. It’s like telling the other person you should fear them. I actually punched a bed once cuz my mom was verbally and emotionally abusing me to the point where I just broke. I guess that’s different.
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