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Relationships

Is it domestic violence to hit your abusive spouse?

marish01
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Is it domestic violence to hit your abusive spouse?
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  • DaveJord
    DaveJord Follow
    Guru Age: 49 , mho 58%
    +1 y
    784 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Unfortunately no you can not. Depending on what you mean by abuse of course. Minus self defense, I mean if they are hitting you you can defend yourself, but other then that its illegal. Even then 90% of the time its a he said, she said situation because there no 3rd party witness.

    But if it was legal to hit emotional or mental abuser, then my exwife would of been knock out cold several times. No I never touched her, mostly because she is a women, but if it was legal... well just let me say if she was a man she would not only have deserved it, but would of gotten it.

    So unfortunately in today's world, there literally nothing you can do but ender the mental and emotional abuse, especially if your a man. There's no way to physically, legally or forcibly you can do about it. But divorce her and then deal with nastiness of that drama.

    But after enduring what Ihave in the past I'm traumatized honestly, I will never allow myself to be with someone like that again... if I was forced into a similar situation, I'd probably be going to jail.

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  • D_Bone_Steak
    D_Bone_Steak Follow
    Master Age: 43 , mho 44%
    +1 y

    Physical violence should not even be a thing. I couldn't imagine that being acceptable... but then again, I'd love to beat the shit out of my mother'n'law or wouldn't really blame a guy that did... but then again to my then again, I'd be asking the question... Why didn't he just leave that dumpster fire? The only reason I feel the way I do about my mother'n'law, is because it's a forced situation... that drives me nuts.

    I think overall physical violence should not be part of the equation. Leave the situation is always best. But if the situation is forced, you can't expect the more reasonable party to continue to be reasonable when dealing with the other party being unreasonable. Like I really approve of the law starting to see cornering a guy and driving him nuts as domestic abuse. The same goes for any kind of mental abuse.

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  • Vesuvius87
    Vesuvius87 Follow
    Guru Age: 38 , mho 52%
    +1 y
    1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    After hitting your abusive spouse are you then leaving them for good and getting out? If not and you continue hitting each other, then that's a mutually abusive relationship where both need to be single.

    1
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  • Screenwriter
    Screenwriter Follow
    Master Age: 69 , mho 68%
    +1 y
    1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Not if it's in self-defense. But the best course with an abusive spouse is to get out of the relationship so it doesn't descend into this.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • OlderAndWiser u
    OlderAndWiser Follow
    InfluencerMaster Age: 70
    +1 y
    9.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    It is not domestic violence to use force to defend yourself. It is domestic violence to return violence to an abusive partner when it is not necessary to defend yourself.

    3
    0 Reply
  • Nawlins34
    Nawlins34 Follow
    Xper 7 Age: 45 , mho 61%
    +1 y

    I don't know the domestic laws outside the U. S. and how much they vary. But in the U. S. - generally speaking,

    If you hit your abusive spouse unprovoked, that could be considered domestic violence.
    If you hit your abusive spouse IN SELF-DEFENSE, that wouldn't be considered domestic violence.

    Again, in SELF-DEFENSE. Meaning, they can't say something abusive and your reaction is to hit them. Actual physical threat and SELF-DEFENSE.

    Not only that, the very SECOND they stop being a physical threat, you have to stop hitting them as well.

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  • ohshee
    ohshee Follow
    Master Age: 51 , mho 42%
    +1 y
    1.6K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    It is assault and battery and should be dealt with not by hitting back but I calling the police and getting that fucker out of your life forever you don't touch another person because you're angry if you're not grown up enough to talk out your problems then you're not grown up enough to be with somebody is not love you do not hit somebody and then tell them that you love them that is called bulshit and nobody deserves that in their life

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  • integrale77
    integrale77 Follow
    Guru Age: 48 , mho 40%
    +1 y

    Depends on the situation if your defending yourself from being attacked then that's fine.

    If he gets home from work opens the door and you walk up to him and kick him in the knackers befor he has had chance to say or do anything your going to need a real good excuse!

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  • libsaretards
    libsaretards Follow
    Yoda Age: 32
    +1 y

    If they are actively hitting you and you defend yourself in that moment, that is self-defense, not domestic violence. If they are not actively attacking you and you hit first, that is domestic violence. Domestic violence is also verbal, but if they are verbally abusive and you respond with physical force, then BOTH of you have committed domestic violence.

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  • jshm2
    jshm2 Follow
    Master Age: 47
    +1 y
    1.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Nope. You've committed assault and lessened your case for being the victim of domestic abuse.

    2
    0 Reply
  • TheorionMage
    TheorionMage Follow
    Guru Age: 74 , mho 46%
    +1 y
    377 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    LEGALLY, its NEVER unjustified to physically defend oneself as necessary, from ANY Aggressor's PHYSICAL assault.

    1
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  • msc545
    msc545 Follow
    Master Age: 38
    +1 y
    3.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    If you are a man, then socially and apparently legally, yes.

    If you are a woman, no, although if your spouse is a famous film star, arguably then yes.

    This is a very gendered issue in which men are always at fault, and women are almost never at fault.

    0
    1 Reply
    • msc545
      msc545
      +1 y

      I just noticed that almost everyone that posted before me mentioned "self-defense". Self-defense assertions work fine for women even if they are untrue; if you are a man and try to use self-defense as a reason you hit a woman, you will go to jail or prison.

      Reply
  • HelloSofi97
    HelloSofi97 Follow
    Xper 6 Age: 28 , mho 49%
    +1 y

    It’s better to just cut them off and keep it moving. Report their abuse and move on.

    2
    0 Reply
  • Guanfei
    Guanfei Follow
    Master Age: 32
    +1 y
    1.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    What do you mean? Like, she's abusing you physically, and you hit her back?

    1
    2 Reply
    • marish01
      marish01
      +1 y

      Yes.

      Reply
    • Guanfei
      Guanfei
      +1 y

      Then no. It's self defense.

      Reply
  • 19LEGION74
    19LEGION74 Follow
    Xper 2 Age: 51 , mho 31%
    +1 y

    Abuse is abuse, if he hits you out of anger and you hit him for the same reasons yes, but if he's hitting you and you clock him that's defense and you are entitled to defend yourself

    0
    0 Reply
  • loveslongnails
    loveslongnails Follow
    Master Age: 40
    +1 y
    2.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Is she verbally, or physically abusive to you, or both? If you're protecting yourself, then the abuse and violence has already taken place.

    1
    0 Reply
  • CallmeTheKnight
    CallmeTheKnight Follow
    Yoda Age: 32
    +1 y
    657 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Depends. If acting in self defense after they hit you, then no its just self defense.
    If you hit them because they're verbal, then more than likely it is.

    1
    0 Reply
  • Phoenix98
    Phoenix98 Follow
    Master Age: 32
    +1 y
    5.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    No that's called defending yourself and I would encourage anyone to defend themselves if a spouse if being abusive.

    Never just sit there and let someone beat you ever.

    0
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  • TommyMountainFigure
    TommyMountainFigure Follow
    Guru Age: 47 , mho 38%
    +1 y
    1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    It depends.. In what way is your spouse abusive? Verbally, physically? Are we talking in an act of self defence?

    0
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  • TallAnon
    TallAnon Follow
    Master Age: 30
    +1 y
    1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Domestic violence? Yes
    Domestic abuse? Maybe
    At that point it depends whether it's self defense.

    1
    0 Reply
  • SixFootSexy
    SixFootSexy Follow
    Yoda Age: 38
    +1 y

    Are you watching the Depp/Heard trials? Yes. You can get sued for that and it is a crime.

    0
    1 Reply
    • marish01
      marish01
      +1 y

      Of course. That is why I asked.

      Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (25-29)
    +1 y

    Not if it was a one time thing out of self defense and then you got out of that relationship. Otherwise you're just taking turns playing the victim and the abuser.

    1
    0 Reply
  • EaterPeter
    EaterPeter Follow
    Guru Age: 52
    +1 y
    1.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    It can be, it depends what is proven in court of law. My ex was trying to hit me I hold her hand and try to stop her without hutting her back. Jist trying to restrain her. She was not hurt in process at all. It was still counted as my fault.

    1
    1 Reply
    • EaterPeter
      EaterPeter
      +1 y

      Thanks for like!

      Reply
  • Whatever2929292
    Whatever2929292 Follow
    Yoda Age: 25 , mho 35%
    +1 y

    Depends on the situation if it is genuinely self defense then NO

    0
    0 Reply
  • slatyb
    slatyb Follow
    Master Age: 51
    +1 y
    6.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Yes, that's the very definition of domestic violence -- violence between people in the same home.

    0
    0 Reply
  • AviatorTom
    AviatorTom Follow
    Master Age: 58
    +1 y
    2.9K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Yes, it's domestic violence whenever someone strikes their partner.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Agape93
    Agape93 Follow
    Master Age: 33
    +1 y
    4.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    At that point I consider it self defense. If someone is hurting you, do what you must to be safe.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (36-45)
    +1 y

    Yes... if not done in self-defense. The answer is: LEAVE YOUR ABUSIVE SPOUSE BEFORE SOME DIES OR GOES TO JAIL!!!

    1
    0 Reply
  • bamesjond0069
    bamesjond0069 Follow
    Guru Age: 38
    +1 y
    1.6K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Well women generally all are abusive at least once in awhile, this is normal and called bratty behavior. The correct way to deal with it is called a spanking.

    0
    0 Reply
  • qwert1234
    qwert1234 Follow
    Yoda Age: 38
    +1 y
    426 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    If you hit him/her w/o a reason - yes.
    If you are acting on self-defense - hell no.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Blackcupcake s
    Blackcupcake Follow
    Guru Age: 24
    +1 y

    defending yourself, no…


    if you hit them out of nowhere due to different reasons, yes…

    0
    0 Reply
  • Drumlin2001
    Drumlin2001 Follow
    Guru Age: 43
    +1 y

    You mean self defence to stop them from physically attacking you?

    0
    0 Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (45 Plus)
    +1 y

    Depends how they are abusive. Physical abuse? Then it's self defence. Any other kind of abuse, then yeah it's wrong to hit.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Rizwan_khan
    Rizwan_khan Follow
    Xper 7 Age: 29
    +1 y

    No not at all you hit him in defence. Law gives you a right to protect yourself by defending your self. Leave him if he abuse you.

    0
    0 Reply
  • oldermale
    oldermale Follow
    Yoda Age: 57
    +1 y

    No that just means you've had enough bullshit from them and standing up for yourself.
    That's a bigger step than you'd think too

    0
    0 Reply
  • Xtendable
    Xtendable Follow
    Explorer Age: 51
    +1 y

    Domestic violence, to me, is being in an intra-familial environment where such force used one against another, is occurring, regardless of who the victim or offender is

    0
    0 Reply
  • Baredog69
    Baredog69 Follow
    Xper 5 Age: 50
    +1 y

    No you can't hit them but there are other ways to make their life hell.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Hispanic-Cool-Guy
    Hispanic-Cool-Guy Follow
    Master Age: 39
    +1 y
    3.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Yes. Violence is violence but assuming they been hit first then it's self defense but it's still violence being used.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Apple1996
    Apple1996 Follow
    InfluencerMaster Age: 29
    +1 y
    1.9K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Then its self defense

    0
    0 Reply
  • Uptowngirl88
    Uptowngirl88 Follow
    Explorer Age: 32
    +1 y

    Can someone please get these chicks off gag?, I swear to God they're stupid

    0
    0 Reply
  • Fuentes
    Fuentes Follow
    Master Age: 33
    +1 y
    1.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Any hitting in a couple realtionship is DV especially if you choose to stay in it. You enable it

    0
    0 Reply
  • ChooChooHaha
    ChooChooHaha Follow
    Explorer Age: 27 , mho 44%
    +1 y

    Yes. The abuser is then being abused.

    1
    1 Reply
    • ChooChooHaha
      ChooChooHaha
      +1 y

      Regardless of all demographic information, by the way.

      Reply
  • Sabretooth
    Sabretooth Follow
    Guru Age: 35
    +1 y
    1.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    I would actually desire her more if she hit me back.

    0
    1 Reply
    • Sabretooth
      Sabretooth
      +1 y

      ain't abusive but that's the attitude I like.

      Reply
  • DermalPunch
    DermalPunch Follow
    Explorer Age: 41
    +1 y
    387 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Yes because you guys are being violent both ways.

    1
    0 Reply
  • dustybiker
    dustybiker Follow
    Master Age: 47 , mho 40%
    +1 y

    It’s legal to leave them.

    1
    0 Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (18-24)
    +1 y

    If the hit is on purpose. If it's to run away to the police then no it's self defense. Abusive people shouldn't get married anyways

    0
    0 Reply
  • WhitneySnow
    WhitneySnow Follow
    Master Age: 19
    +1 y
    2.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Not if it’s in self defense

    0
    0 Reply
  • GingerGuy
    GingerGuy Follow
    Master Age: 48
    +1 y

    Yes. The "two wrongs don't make a right" saying.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Rebecka33
    Rebecka33 Follow
    Xper 6 Age: 48
    +1 y

    Not if the they ht you first

    0
    0 Reply
  • motownplayer2000
    motownplayer2000 Follow
    Guru Age: 36
    +1 y
    1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    It’s literally violence to combat violence lol

    0
    0 Reply
  • Better_off_here
    Better_off_here Follow
    Xper 6 Age: 41
    +1 y

    no i say hit him back! he deserved it!

    0
    1 Reply
    • marish01
      marish01
      +1 y

      What if it is a she?

      Reply
  • Open2It
    Open2It Follow
    Xper 6 Age: 25
    +1 y

    Actually, it sounds like srlf-defense

    2
    0 Reply
  • RuthlessAggression
    RuthlessAggression Follow
    Xper 7 Age: 36
    +1 y

    Yes. I don't agree with hitting at all.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Waldoe
    Waldoe Follow
    Guru Age: 75
    +1 y
    966 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    hitting is violence... no matter who does it

    0
    0 Reply
  • BLP11520
    BLP11520 Follow
    Guru Age: 66
    +1 y

    Self defense? Is he a wife beater?

    0
    0 Reply
  • Zygum
    Zygum Follow
    Explorer Age: 47
    +1 y

    Uptill no such chance,

    0
    0 Reply
  • FlaffyCheez
    FlaffyCheez Follow
    Xper 5 Age: 30 , mho 79%
    +1 y

    Yes.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (36-45)
    +1 y

    nope. kick her in the balls! 🤪

    0
    0 Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (18-24)
    +1 y

    Only if its not done in self defense.

    0
    0 Reply
  • anon1903
    anon1903 Follow
    Guru Age: 25
    +1 y
    1.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Of course not

    1
    0 Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (45 Plus)
    +1 y

    are you an 8th grader? Of course it is.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (30-35)
    +1 y

    what the heck is this cringe question

    0
    0 Reply
  • sheikalana
    sheikalana Follow
    Master Age: 36
    +1 y

    That's self defense.

    0
    0 Reply
  • helva
    helva Follow
    Guru Age: 29
    +1 y

    Sure it is.

    0
    0 Reply
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