Why do married people fight more than those single people out there?

[roy_ricky09]

[Anonymous]

They don't learn to grow together, from what I've seen in life. The people who getting married older, say 26+ tend to be more set in their ways and less compromising.

When they get married its either my way or the highway, lots of fighting on everything even down to which way the toilet paper is suppose to go. Yes I know a couple who got divorced over that.

The younger ones tend to grow together and learn and adapt together. Now maybe that was just my generation and area, but people around here I went to high school with 80% or so them got married before 20 and have been married for 25+ years now and they never really fight they just have disagreements they resolve on good terms.

There are of course variations, might have someone who is set in stone and someone who is not that just gets tired of always being the one to comprise. Might have younger people not willing to compromise and don't forget money.

Money can be a huge reason to fight on spending priorities... example my ex and I fought over diapers vs. rent. She thought buying diapers was more important than paying rent and while I had saved up rent for the next month, she went out and spent half of it on baby stuff then told me to figure out rent that diapers were more important. If I couldn't figure it out, when we got evicted she'd move home with her mother until I got another place for us.

[Jamie05rhs]

But younger people don't want to grow together. That's why they're waiting longer to get married. They want to marry someone who is "established."
... But that's probably part of the problem.

[Opinion Owner]

@Jamie05rhs That likely is part of the problem, established people got established by themselves and have little room to compromise or be flexible when adding someone else to the mix.

Its possible, but now take two established people and try to mix that together. They both learned how to live alone, never learned to compromise or grow together to get to that point.

[Jamie05rhs]

Exactly. You're right!

[Jamie05rhs]

That's why I remain flexible in every part of my life right now. Because I don't want to become set in my ways so that I'm not able to adapt to form a unified team with my future wife.

[ChrisMaster69]

Often married couples fight as a build up of little issues, not putting the dishes away, a breakfast bowl still in the sink at lunch time etc.

Both build up natural stresses and will pick things to complain about or say something that the other picks up wrongly,

oh and single people do argue, I’ve mates who are single and know each other all their lives, we refer to them as an old married couple.

also if you ever share a house with someone, you are all single but will still have arguments about, breakfast dishes not washed, who drank all the milk etc.

[Cynicaldreamer]

I see all these people saying, "If you're single, you don't have anyone to fight with..." making the asker's question seem silly: it's just you, therefore, you have no one to fight with right?
However, I get what his point is to asking this question-

Supposedly, people that are married are happier than people that are single- or so that's what society leads us to believe. So then why do people in relationships or marriage have more issues than someone that's single if they're so "happy?"

Because when you're sharing your life with someone, you start to see all aspects of them, good and bad. So of course you're going to fight over any and everything, especially if you're incompatible.

As a forever single person here, the last person I fought with was... well no one. Been years since I fought with anyone and I love it :)

[roy_ricky09]

Nicely puy

[Jamie05rhs]

People shouldn't get married so quickly, then. They should have longer engagements so that they have plenty of time to make sure they're making the right choice.

[AmandaYVR]

Wdym? That's ridiculous. And nonsensical.
Single people don't have a partner to fight with. People in relationships are. All types of relationships - friends, family, even sometimes colleagues. But especially in romantic ones.
Married people don't argue more than non-married couples.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If you're single, and live alone, who's there to fight with🤷🤣 that's why

[RawIronhide]

Being single, I still have arguments with myself but it's all like internal conflicts. In a relationship you've gatta verbalize your frustrations, things that would resolve the situation while negotiating with another person. It's much harder to articulate things in a relationship setting but it's also much more rewarding.

[dustybiker]

Single people fight?
Anyone who fights can’t communicate properly. “You aren’t hearing me so I’m going to amp up the volume, see if that gets your attention and make you see my point. Maybe throw a few things or punch a wall.” If people are unable to have a mature conversation then they really shouldn’t be in a relationship.

[Luopio27]

Amen

[Jamie05rhs]

This.

[Miristheiss]

First.

You've mad a premise that may or may not actually be true. But let's assume it is true.
1. They are married. It is for life. A boyfriend/girlfriend may have an argument and call it quits. A married couple is more apt to stick through it and work though the dispute where single people bail.

2. You are together all the time. You live together. Dating couples may live in different addresses and maybe only see each other 2 or 3 days a week.

[horsenrhinounicorn]

When dating there is more motivation to make things work and take time to figure out the other. When marriage happens the truth comes out of each other, no where to hide and dates don't get cancelled to cool off. The problems in dating become a bigger problem in marriage. Couples are no longer deciding if they can except the behavior and reach the last straw. Fighting in a logical sense can be effective if there is good communication and each is willing to compromise, etc

[yucychan]

Of course, married people are going to fight more than singles. The married couples are made up of entirely 2 different individuals, with different values, interests, upbringings, ways of thinking etc. Even for family members, there would be times when you have differences in opinions with them.

[AviatorTom]

Fighting is not necessarily bad. It's a form of communications, getting things off each other's chest before it festers and causes real harm. And making up after the fight can be a lot of fun.

Married people are together a lot, and that can (and does) lead to conflict. Compare that to single people, who only sometimes are together, and when they are, they are usually on their best behavior.

[Highcountry]

Because you are dealing with the difference between Men and Women. Also, you are dealing with the day to day problems, such as the car breaks down, washing machine dies, and other unexpected bills. You have been up all night sick, the kids are crying and you have to go to work. When you are single, you see each other when you are polished and clean, and don’t share life’s problems.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Because most people are under the assumption that they have to compromise/settle to make a marriage work, when in fact thats what makes a marriage fail.

Simply put, they married the wrong person because they were too pessemistic, lazy, or impatient to find the right person.

[FatherJack]

Not just married , long term unmarried relationships , which are more common now , have the same pitfalls. Women and men have opposite , and often conflicting needs and wants , and are poles apart in most respects , the genders think very differently. Hence conflict is normal in most hetero relationships. And why I stay away from them , been there and endured that crap !!

[Jonny59]

my parents have 30 years old marriage and they still together
while I was growing up they sure fought for things but it would be like 10min fight then somehow they understood themselves and then I hear them why we even fighting despite we understand each others

[Jamie05rhs]

Because even though they think they're adults and they decided to do adult things like getting married, in reality they're still toddlers and they never really grew up. They don't know how to relate to others and they don't know how to handle conflict.

[ChiPaPa]

Do you mean full out single by themselves or in a relationship? If they're by themselves, one stands to reason that they don't have anyone to argue with. Relationships, whether married or long term or short term have multiple people involved where they have different views on various things.

[menina]

My guess is that they're tired of seeing and dealing with each other every day. It's a way of showing their frustration.
That's why marriage ruins most relationships.

[DizzyDesii]

Nahh boyfriends/girlfriends fight more than single and married people lol. I think married people grow numb to fighting and just settle for eachother or divorce

[kqueen]

I mean if you're not in a relationship you don't really have a partner to fight with... this question doesn't really make sense

[Cherry234]

I guess because marriage is a big commitment. It's an even bigger commitment than just dating someone

[wittymilf]

Because we are not allowed to leave each other ffs 🙄🙄😂😂

[JosyJosy]

Because they're in eachother's face 24/7. The single person is alone, nobody to fight with

[Jamie05rhs]

If they're in each other's face, then they should be kissing.

[JosyJosy]

@Jamie05rhs doesn't always happen

[Jamie05rhs]

@JosyJosy It's a shame.

[Custard505]

Usually because of not having enough resources, stress caused by other things or relationships, big clashes in the relationship.

[Paul09]

Probably because they jump into marriage way too fast... Or settle with the first person..

[Twalli]

Because single people don't have to live with another's person's flaws 24/7

[Anonymous]

If true, perhaps they care more and/or are living on top of one another.

[Jouth]

i don't know, i don't know if there's data that all married people even know martial arts

[Kingofkings1992]

Unfortunately, a lot of times familiarity breeds contempt.

[Nightroads]

You mean dating couples, right?

[roy_ricky09]

Yes..

[tatianamay]

Because they're married lol?

[Sweetener_]

Lack of communication and comprehension.

[NathanDavis]

oh I fight with myself a lot...

[Flower7]

Probably because they’re around each other more.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Been together longer drive each other crazy

[Sam2021]

Because there is no way out lol

[LegendaryIcon]

Lots of time together, with the same person

[IronsKev]

Because they live together

[Anonymous]

Stay single and make more money

[boobliker]

they more to lose...

[888theGreat]

They don;t