My wife took off with another guy 6 years ago and I found her hidden fb and dirty messages to another guy but I took her back just to get out of jail a year ago just to find that an acquaintance of mine was comfortable enough to just go into the kitchen and get food and also I discovered that my wife and him had plans to go in a secret camping trip that I said I wasn't going to (it was a work thing) and they both denied it but the wife had to admit it because I could tell her exactly what they had said and she said she was just talking and wasn't really going... amd this was 2 months ago. Anyway I got a new partner at work and she is an amazing woman I might add, but she says she is happily married but she is always telling me what an asshole her husband is and he gets mad and calls her names and shit that she doesn't deserve, but she says he is an asshole buy has a good heart? In a lot of ways he sounds a lot like my wife as in its okay for them to call 7s at work 50 times a day but call them and they throw fits... hypocrisy, they both are always looking to point the finger and everything is always someone else's fault... the list goes on. The more I work with her though the more I don't want to go home at the end of the day and I just think about my partner at work when I get home until the next day when I go to work... for real this girl makes me want to be a better person... but I don't know if she is or would even be into me? And/or don't know if I should even attempt to end two marriages for a relationship that I want to happen. I know I wouldn't be a dick to her all the time and belittle her and would treat her a lot better and I am happy every morning when I see her face... I like her smile and I find her crooked teeth she complains about to be cute as fuck and like her positive attitude and her and goofy giggles, she has goals and I guess I just wondered what should I do? Just listen to her vent or start saying things I would never and compliments, go 4 it?
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+1 y
I got y'all and thanks for the feedback and I agree with it all, I don't want to cheat on her because I don't want to be like her for real and yeah I don't wanna deal with the drama so I'm just gonna suppress these feelings for this other female because she is happy and I don't want to put that stress on her because I actually care about her and wish her all the happiness in the world because she deserves it
What if we are both married but her spouse is an asshole to her and mine can't be trusted if I'm not around?
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Anonymous
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+1 y
I'd say confront your CURRENT WIFE. And ask straight up tell her if thats the kind of man she really wants you will go through with the divorce papers and maybe suggest to your work mate if her own marriage is so unstable that its making her consider literally other guys XD.
Its like if you are considering NUKING a marriage its like at a certain point ya may as well get the short and dirty done sooner rather than live with the burden of the marriage vows wearing heavy. Divorce doesn't always have to end nasty if both sides can agree on how the split happens and is willing to do it as evenly as possible and still retain the core friendship.
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+1 y
Just make sure she understands the full scope of what this means and THAT YOU are not then obligated to save her should this go south with her new love intrest. Just make it clear your not a fan of him and if she chooses this path its one she is going to have to go alone. If she asks how your okay with this simply tell her. You have been okay with it since the day you discovered everything.
Make it clear she can choose to stay where she is or she can choose to leave. BUT!!! there will be no second chances if she chooses this route its going to be one you will respectfully follow. Just know this doesn't mean you will come chasing if shit starts hitting the fan. Essentially make it clear this is your white horse card. And if she asks what that means ask her if she ever listened to some of taylor swifts older ish songs and tell her your ready to be fearless in this situation if it means you both can find some sort of happiness.
IF she is a smart girl who knows music should be able to catch the song you are referring. to.
I wish spouses would just separate before finding another man/woman.
Like separate first, then there's the eventual divorce, but at least once separation has been told and acted on, you know that's fair I feel because it's over the relationship is over and the legal framework is just eventual divorce which takes time.
But yeah. I wish couples would not cheat. In other words separate or divorce first. 😊
Sorry I couldn't follow up with that because the question is why aren't you divorced kept popping up in my head. You can't call her cheater while staying and if given the chance will definitely cheat too. Leave her cheating ass and how about starting fresh with a single woman. Just a mind blowing idea but worth considering
Then in that case, you should both get divorces. Whether or not things would work out with this particular girl, if someone is so unhappy in their marriage that they have started looking elsewhere, it’s worthless to try to hang onto a relationship that is already broken.
Your marriage is obviously dead and you should get out of it. As of this woman at work you can make a move on her and see how she stands. After that you go from there...
