Would you stay with your partner if they cheated on you?

Question

Exterminatore · Accepted Answer

Depends on the circumstance. Though it would be profoundly difficult. I’ll have to explain. I’m a devout Christian and I am married.

Scripture says this:

“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:32‬ ‭ESV‬‬
Meaning, if someone divorced his wife for reasons other than adultery and married someone else the new marriage would be an act of adultery and to marry someone who divorced for reasons other than adultery or was divorced on grounds of adultery as the guilty party it would constitute an act of adultery. The Pharisees believed they could marry and divorce for any reason under the sun. Jesus said not so.

So ok, that clears that up. If your spouse cheats you have the green light to divorce according to Jesus right? Not so fast. What if she acknowledged her wrong and asked for forgiveness? Then we have a problem because scripture says this:

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:14-15‬ ‭ESV‬‬
You cannot expect God to forgive you if you don’t forgive others and it says point blank he won’t.

Suppose a spouse does not want forgiveness and wants to carry on her adultery. Then you’re biblically permitted to divorce and remarry. Suppose your spouse cheats many times, yet always asks forgiveness. That would constitute unrepentant sin. Clearly the person is not sorry and does not intend to stop as they continue to do it. I believe divorce would also be permissible in such a circumstance.

So, I’d forgive a cheating spouse if they admitted their guilt and asked for forgiveness. That said I do have an ex wife who was in an adulterous relationship and did not stop. I gave her time to repent and warned her I’d divorce her if she didn’t stop. She didn’t so I sent her on her way to enjoy her adultery.

Frankly this is the most difficult situation I’ve been in.

If it were a girlfriend or if there were no command in scripture regarding this matter I’d end it immediately without second thought.

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

I think being cheated on is a great opportunity to have a conversation about what the rules of the relationship are, and if my partner is happy with those rules, or if perhaps she would be happier playing by a different set of rules. Perhaps we both would?

It would be ideal to have that conversation BEFORE being cheated on, but we don't live in an ideal world, and we all have issues, make mistakes, and are imperfect beings. I think the important thing is to understand each other, connect and communicate honestly, and to discover from our mistakes and failings. Mistakes and failures are opportunities for growth and improvement; they show us what isn't working for us.

I believe too many people make assumptions about infidelity. They make the assumption that someone is "bad" and that's why it happens. I disagree, and I don't think cheating makes a person a "bad" person, or being cheated on means you "weren't (good) enough". These are narratives we tell ourselves in order to justify the system, when it makes more sense to take this opportunity to identify what actually happened and why it happened, rather than making assumptions and placing blame on our or our partner's "worthiness".

Vesuvius87 · Accepted Answer

I've just blocked a sociopath that used me not just physically but financially too. He was a male golddigger. I was an 19 year-old college virgin when I met him. If I got rid of such evil, toxic person then a cheater is even easier to dump. Everything comes to light sooner or later, no matter how many years later.

I'm immune to heartbreaks by now and a lot more stronger emotionally. Anyone that is toxic or is wasting my time will be unfriend, ditched and blocked forever from my life. No more 2nd chances. You blew up big time... bye.

wingattebaby16 · Accepted Answer

i would stay with him if he cheated on me, but only one time.

one time is an Accident, more than one time is on purpose.

Plus i would make him get tested for STDs, and he would have to give me his phone so i could go through it and "sanitize" it.. plus on his computer, i get full access to it and his History for 6 months til he proves he is true to me.

and if his History gets deleted, i am done with him...

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Anyone who stays in inviting a repeat performance because they have NO self-respect!

Anonymous · Answer

Absolutely not. However if they owned their crap with true remorse I might forgive them after some time.

When I say “true remorse” I mean confessing what you did and being ready to accept the consequences. However confessing what you did and then begging the person not too leave is conceited bullshit and disingenuous. That’s just crocodile tears.

I just recently found an old ex cheated me right before she broke up with me. We were on the rocks at the time so the break up wasn’t a surprise. While I was flirty with other girls when we dated (which was shitty and not okay) i sure as hell never crossed the line. She on the other hand completely crossed the line, used that as her final push to break up and tried me like scum of the earth afterwards. I had something really horrible happen in my life a few weeks later and she literally told me “tough luck your an ex”. She had convince herself she didn’t do anything wrong but seeing me as less then human.

So i do NOT forgive her. I would of actually respected her more if she was honest about her bullshit. I would of been angry but she should of known that would of made it easier for me to move on. Instead she concealed it. For a very long time I blamed myself for everything ending. Now i don’t.

Anyway whatever guilty conscious she has or karma she suffers (if karma exists) is completely on her. I saw it happen to a different ex. Good chance it will happen to her if it hasn’t happened already.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know. Possibly. I get jealous really easily, but at the same time I totally understand wanting to try something new. And who knows, maybe it would make her realize how much better I really am.

But people are gonna feel sexual attraction towards other people, that's just how humans are programmed. I get more jealous if there's an emotional connection.
I'd still jealous if they were physically and sexually better than me, but not as much if her and I lacked an emotional connection.
So I'd get more jealous if she had an emotional connection with the person.

To be honest, I never thought an open relationship would be for me, but now I can totally see myself being in one, especially if I can sleep with other girls as well. Just as long as the guys she's screwing don't have bigger dicks, and are better in bed than me 😂

So I think I could live with it, as long as she's not doing behind my back.

But to be honest, I've messed around with taken women, and it's a huge turn on for me. So I'd much rather be the guy who she's cheating WITH, than cheating on 😂

Mikeysoda · Answer

It depends, if i have not been being who I was supposed to be to them and for them and they informed me several times and this went on for let's say years and they are not satisfied with me at this point because of me.. and they are miserable... I can't be too mad if they step out because I decided to not step up and make sure they were satisfied.

But if everything was good and I was doing my part and satisfying them on everything... and they stepped out for no apparent reason... that's something to think about. Because impulsivity is scary.

To clarify... i am talking about in a marriage. In a modest dating relationship, where the individuals are not acting like they are married or playing house... I would not stay with the person.

CaliGirlBH · Answer

I've been in this position and I supported him while he was in college he lived with me drove my cars and while I was away on business he brought people to my house partied and one girl stayed which is the one he cheated with.

I found out he did this from my housekeeper "like she wouldn't tell me". When I got back I waited until he went to class the next day and every thing he came with him was in a duffel bag I packed up in that bag took it down to my gate put it out off the property and changed my code to the gate. That's the last time I heard from him.
Best thing I ever did for myself

FTnWo · Answer

I guess I'm the fool that took her back after she cheated on me with at least one if not more (I don't know I can't believe a word she says) and that was 6 years ago, we been together 20 years and earlier this year I caught her making plans with another dude and she denied and lied about it, after I told her that I knew for a fact she said she was never actually gonna go through with it... yeah whatever.
A week or so later I left her and the following days she cried and begged me to come back and I asked her ,"is this really what you want? Me to take you back outta pity?" And she said yeah... so now her I am married to someone I have 0% trust in and not a doubt in my mind that she will do it again, but I felt bad for her when she was crying and I kind of want out but I don't want to hurt her... WTF is wrong with me?

Baredog69 · Answer

I got cheated on after 20 years of faithful marriage her faithful on my part anyway. And my initial shot and devastation I told her that I was willing to forgive and forget and we could just work our way through it. I admire people that can do that but I'm not one of them. I can forgive you a million times but I can only trust you one time. Cuz she and I stay together as a couple and get along and be happy I certainly think so. Could we ever have an intimate side of a marriage again never. I just could not do it I don't know why I can't explain it however for always but I can never be intimate with her again if my life depended on it.

Iknowbestgirls · Answer

I have pretty much been cheated on in every commited relationship I've been in. Woman like to talk about men cheating, but women cheat just as much. Not even the insecure ones. The really hot Girls with hood BFs do it for fun.

Now I have stayed with a girl that's cheated on me multiple times because she was in a bad situation and I truly wanted to help her. After the 3rd time when we moved in together was the final straw. She was just a shirt person who created her own shitty situation and no matter what I did she wouldn't change our be faithful to me.

So after getting cheated on so many times I kinda don't care anymore. In so putting in a lot of effort with girls I go out with. We will just dick and that's about it. If they don't pay in any effort themselves then I won't either. But if they do, I'll be more enthusiastic to do things with them. But I no longer care to make the first effort.

t-8900 · Answer

I've given second chances, if only to see if there was a pattern. Sure enough there is. 3 for 3 they just do it again. Cheaters dont deserve a goddamn second of your time and they never reform. They're selfish to the core and as a selfless person I could never be with such evil.

Sugar100 · Answer

I know few women married had husband cheat on them and they still had sex & got pregnant instantly. I don't know y they think getting pregnant again is better than leaving guy that cheated. I thought happiness was being happy with yourself? thats the saying people supposivly preach? Y not dump husband that cheated and stay alone? I don’t get it

Silly_Slink · Answer

I've stuck around after being cheated on, however, I am 100% looking at exit strategies and 100% am not at all interested anymore... I'm also notorious for stealing the girls that a guy is cheating on me with (not sexually stealing, but we become besties for sure). My best friend I met because my (x) boyfriend cheated. She's my daughter's God mother now lol best woman ever!!

DaveJord · Answer

I picked I will explain...

Dating, the answer would be maybe. Depends on a few factors. I would never be serious with some one who cheated, but I have continued to liaison with them on a casual bases.

Marriage, the answer is maybe. There a lot of financial and family factors tied to a a marriage.. property and children. So would I leave them right away if they cheated, probably not.. but it would change the nature of the relationship,.

AviatorTom · Answer

My goal would be to stay with her. I would have a serious talk with her about our relationship and why she cheated. I'd try to understand without being critical. If it's a one-time thing, or maybe even a few times, and our relationship is otherwise solid, I'd do my best to continue our relationship. It might take some time to forgive, and I won't forget, but I will continue to love her.

genericname85 · Answer

I would say 95% chance that i won't stay with them. I could only ever see myself trying to make it work if it is a very long going relationship and under the condition that she was the one being open and honest about it and not me finding out behind her back somehow.

askandgiveAnswers · Answer

My point was we don’t think of relationships as long term. We sometimes are not being honest to keep a relationship. As we are not caring to communicate and allow another in our live. Immaturity is 1 thing. The other is we don’t have relationship classes in school, the other is relationships in with mom and dad are how to viewpoints. If we are not taught, then it takes years to understand a relationship to have it last more than 2 years.

bolverk · Answer

No, Cheating is a no notice walk away action, If we were dating I'd just be gone NC, If we were engaged I'd wait long enough to recover the ring then be gone NC, if we were married it would be divorce contact only through lawyer/solicitor.
In all cases there would be nothing the partner could say or do in mitigation, trust is broken, no way to repair that.

Ninani · Answer

Cheating means they broke the terms we've agreed on for our relationship. No way I'd stay with them after that. They chose to act behind my back rather than talk to me about whatever's going on with them. How could I trust them going forward?

Alyssa11 · Answer

I did in the past because he didn’t conventionally cheat on me. Looking back though that was still cheating. He then ended up cheating on me in the realest sense. Once a cheater always a cheater 🤷🏻‍♀️

boxxie2002 · Answer

I would have said no when I was younger, but you find life is not as black and white as you get older and It depends on the situation.

What was the cheating? Emotional, sexting, a kiss, sex?

How long have you been together? Has the relationship run its course and time to part, or not worth throwing everything away for one mistake?

I would be hurt, however if my current partner cheated, I would like stay with her - there would be many discussions though

TallAnon · Answer

It depends, but probably not.
Even just hearing a girl I'm interested in is having sex with someone else instantly makes me lose interest. Nada, gone. If there's a woman that I love enough and she comes to me crying that she made a huge mistake and that's she's very sorry.. Maybe I can let it slide? We would have to see, can't predict those emotions. I might do horrible things to the guy at that point.

lilaccc · Answer

sadly, no. even if he realized his actions is wrong, say sorry and want me back, i'm still "nope".

bcs i know it just comes to toxic relationship. i learn from my past, and i don't want to repeat it again.

Sjjsjs · Answer

Yes, because I'm a ugly worthless piece of shit.. if I'm lucky enough to ever get a girlfriend, it's unlikely IL ever find another girl who would wanna date me.. so it's either stick with her or be alone forever... I'd rather stick with her.. I don't care she cheated.. I wouldn't blame her... And ugly fuck like me could. never satisfy a girl... It's no wonder she went sneaking around for someone hotter

Miristheiss · Answer

No, that is an immediate and 100% end to our relationship. Outside of us having a kid together... forcing us to have to keep some contact going forward... I'd never see or speak to her again. She'd be dead to me.

abc--123 · Answer

Depends if she cheats with a girl id be so turned on and probably more in love with her knowing she's had sex with a girl and encourage her to do it again, I know I'm weird.

If she cheated with a guy I'd be incredibly pissed off but probably use it as an excuse to bring up am open relationship as clearly she wants sex elsewhere and I know I do too.

TruthBringer · Answer

Anyone with the slightest of self-respect will instantly ditch a cheater. Only those with a scarcity mindset will give second chances only to be hit by the fact that they will be cheated on again

Drumlin2001 · Answer

I'd like to say no. But we've got two kids, leaving her means leaving them, suppose it depends on what exactly happened. A drunken 1 night or an emotional affair? There's worse things she could do then a one night stand.

anon1903 · Answer

I can't tolerate cheating. Nope. I'm polyamorous. I can absolutely understand if he or she would have sought my consent before the vile act of violation. Says a lot about character.

katiesmuff · Answer

There is no chance no matter how much I might love him as once that trust is broken there is no returning to good times.

hahahmm · Answer

Not only would I leave if she's cheating but if she's just acting like a whore without actually cheating. It's close enough to count.

SenseiSeptred · Answer

I am kind of a purity based person that could end up holding dearly onto purity well into a marriage. So I could in a lot of ways end up being a breaking point of a woman because she wanted sex from me, and yet I would end up remaining chaste.

KiraIsBored · Answer

Anyone who stays is a loser with no self respect 😂

Phoenix98 · Answer

Depending on the person I might give them a second chance but 99% I'm walking out the door and never coming back.

Stoner710 · Answer

maybe, if there drunk off there ass , taquilla is a crazy alcohol

JacobRogers · Answer

Haven't even been in a sexual relationship, def don't want one with a cheater.

worldscolide · Answer

Never.. Cheating is simply unacceptable. It shows that the cheater cares nothing for anyone but them selves.

Notfabricated11 · Answer

Nope nope nope nope nope. I feel there is no reason as to why you cheated. All you had to do is talk to me and we could have worked things out or went our separate ways. Communication people

Guardian45 · Answer

I did, and it turned out well, but I won't make that choice again. I'm a different person today. Unless we're in an open relationship, if I'm not good enough, then neither are they.

Anonymous · Answer

An exGF many years ago cheated on me. After we broke up, I slept with her best friend a few times as payback. The sex with my exGFs bestie was better 😉👌

Dargil · Answer

Cheating is the ultimate betrayal. There is no reconciliation. A cheat is a cheat.

Moose304 · Answer

This is NOT a hypothetical for me! Not no but HELL NO!!!

Soleil8000 · Answer

Perhaps if she was the 2nd or 3rd girl I was with (and providing me and the 1st were busy with each other)

whosnumber1 · Answer

it would depend on the circumstances. relationships aren't always easy.

crazy8000 · Answer

Emotional killswitch get activated. there aren't any relationship anyone. matter of fact it ended when she decides to cheat.

sp33d · Answer

No. If she confessed, I would let her collect her stuff. If she got caught, I would just throw her shit out.

Better_off_here · Answer

not at all, if they did it once they will do it again, it is sad anyone that who takes back a cheater is asking to get hurt again. they have already made a choice and you should too.

Bhhahuanajhaunanaba · Answer

If they fucked I’m out. If it was a kiss there context needed

douride2 · Answer

No never. If he cheated I would throw his sorry ass out. He would be gone forever.

KeithLane · Answer

I don't think I could do it. But, I do understand that people make mistakes and some people learn and grow from their mistakes.

Freespirit777 · Answer

Catching a cheater is hard. A high percentage of married men and women cheat. This is a dirty little secret.

Anonymous · Answer

Hard no. I don't care to hear the "reason" either. Cheating is one and done in my book.

tytyN503 · Answer

Trust and loalty come hand and hand. And did they come out about it were they honest, there is so many variables. But right off the bat the trust would have been broken

Johnsy000 · Answer

She is a fuckin gold mine if she came back I would accept her

Middle-aged_maniac · Answer

Nope. They wouldn't change. Just like I wouldn't give anyone that stole from me a second chance.

Joshua0213 · Answer

1st time as long as its not that far in sure but ever again she's gone

admles · Answer

No. Hell no. She's dumped, and all contact cut.

MJtheCoach · Answer

I wish the girls I date would cheat on me then I can breathe but they never do

Manuel2 · Answer

It depends who and if he got pregnant by him. I am no spuncle

TheGreatAwesome1 · Answer

No fking way. Sorry for the language, but No Way! How could I be with them, knowing that he slept with another woman?

Sabretooth · Answer

I still have my pride... that's the only I've kept.

Anonymous · Answer

No but if i was married and had kids, i could not leave him because of the kids. I dont know.

Would you stay with your partner if they cheated on you?

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