I asked my boyfriend if he could help me out financially, and instead he just helped me with budgeting?

[Anonymous]

So, things have been a little tight lately, and my boyfriend makes REALLY good money, so I've been hinting to him a little that things aren't great.

Instead of offering to help me with cash, he sat me down and we went over my expenses and income etc, and well, I'm kind of offended, I wanted something a bit more concrete, not budgeting.

Are men really thing f-cking clueless?

[btbc92]

If you want concrete, then get married. He is not obligated to give you anything when you are not legally his wife. His money unless your looking to get married isn't your concern. As an adult, you have to be concerned and serious about your finances. And if not, then it says about what you're not doing-especially if you also have something. If he is willing to help you learn how to manage especially when it helps him manage, LEARN something. It's not just for your benefit in life, but survival and having important life skills. If you aren't happy with him, then don't be with that guy. Find a man who wants to give you money or whatever you're looking for. But him teaching you practical skills, I don't understand even as a woman what is the problem?

While there isn't anything wrong with wanting to provide, naturally give if you are a giver or even loan some money. Are you going to be able to pay that back also if it was a loan? If this is only just a 1-time thing, are you going to be able to maintain yourself long-term? You have to think about that. You shouldn't be hinting. Especially with men and especially to guys like him. You need to be direct and verbally communicate what you need and want. Otherwise, he as well as many will assume that you are only with him because he has money. And if God forbid he doesn't have anymore, then you may not stay around him because he's also broke.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Well, the way he helped you is much better long-term. And if it's so tight you want money from your boyfriend, you might have a problem with budgeting.
To me, he did the right thing there.

Also, it's not a good idea to expect or loan big sums of money in the relationship. I for one would not, doesn't seem like a good idea.

[leecifer]

He isn't clueless at all, he knows you just want free money. He just called you on your crap and showed you how to live within your means and you don't like that because he isn't interested in funding you.

If you can't live within your means, then that is a bad sign for any long term relationship because it shows him that you'll always just be a money sink. This way he can see what you are going to be, and if you show yourself to be incapable of following a budget then he is probably better off looking for someone more compatible with what he wants to build for himself and his future family.

[Teaku94]

Gosh woman! He is clueless. Does he look like he can read minds? That's one of the greatest mistakes of women - thinking that men can read minds. 😑

Communicate your thoughts or problems directly to him. And if anything, he did you a solid by teaching you an lifelong applicable lesson.

[Dinklex3]

?
That sounds completely reasonable.
Maybe try his budgeting recommendations instead of wanting him to use his own hard earned money to pay your bills with?
If you're not ashamed or dont see anything wrong with asking him for money, then just ask him straight out instead of beating around the bush.

[DaveJord]

No I think he probably knows what you wanted. It's possible he works hard for what he has, and isn't in the business of giving it away.. Sex or no sex.

Giveing money to someone your having sex with, knowing they can't and won't pay you bsck... well it cuts close to something else.

If anyone is clueless... it might mean he's not as into as you think... he might be hanging around for something else, but not willing to pay for it.

[Sam_The_Savage]

Hell no... I even spend enough money on my friends with benefits always there for her whenever she wants financial help.

Your boyfriend is Asshole. For me money is not an issue at all. I make money 25k dollar every 15days I spend 5k dollars on my friends with benefits and make sure she don't need to go here n there for money.

[admles]

Just giving you money would be a short term, band-aid solution, and you'd most likely just keep asking him for it each time.

Instead, he's helped you with a plan that will help you long-term.

If you can't accept that, then you're a gold-digger.

[nawtee_me]

You can give a person a fish and they will eat and not be hungry, or you can teach them how to fish and they can feed themselves for the rest of their life... He is offering you more than a handout, he is trying to show you how to live on your own means... What he did for you was more important and you are upset with him and think he is clueless... That is gratitude for you...

[NawfZumbi]

He's teaching you because Your parents never taught you. The way you react and move forward will show him if your worth being his wife. You see the real people when they go through money struggles. He has no reason to give a woman who is not his wife. Money

[Nightroads]

Give a girl a fish and you feed her for a day. Teach a girl to balance a budget and you help her feed herself and feel confident about her financial future.
Or something like that.

[dudeinohio]

No... he isn't at all clueless. He is smart. It isn't his responsibility to support you. You aren't married. He is teaching you to take care of yourself... which is your responsibility.

[noohair]

He does not want to marry a woman that can't budget his money.
If you want money, don't play mind games, ask for it.
We are clueless but not stupid.

[fred_durst]

he is just stingy , you can't change him even he is richer than jeff bezos later , if you can't stand that, time to dump him

[Joshua0213]

Well budgeting is much better long term so don't see why its a bad thing

[Hangry06]

Uh.. he helped you already.

[Wise4myage]

Nothing wrong with that.

[EaterPeter]

Men are f****** clue less most of the time.