Only way a marriage will work is if you both remove selfishness for each other? Agree or disagree?

[Finchie40]

I just read an article on this and this is something I totally agree with and something I live by that I have learned through the years of my relationships, Removing selfishness is the only way love will grow when you are in a committed relationship, sadly most people do not grasp or understand this and wonder why they end up single or divorced and I used to be one of those people. When you choose to take someone’s hand in marriage or commit to someone , your single days have come to an end , you are choosing to sacrifice for each other and to stay by each other’s side as one , when it comes down to decision making for yourself you should always prioritize your partner before making any rational decisions, even if you feel you aren’t doing anything wrong it’s still a selfish decision if you don’t include your partner , I am not saying you have to hold your partner’s hand at all times but your partner should be your number 1 priority when it comes to certain things , saying No to friends and family when it comes down to separating Yourself from your partner. A prime example , your best friend tries to plan a vacation with you but without your partner , to answer that question your answer should instantly be No sorry , My partner wouldn’t travel without me so I am not going to travel without them , Most people don’t grasp this concept and then wonder why they end up divorced. And the reason why is cuz you are only thinking of yourself? Your friends and family will not be by your side until the end but your partner will be , if you can’t do this for your partner your relationship will not last bottom line. Do you agree or disagree? Me personally doesn’t get into a relationship to be single , when I give someone my heart I respect the same in return if I can’t do that for someone then there is no reason to get into a relationship with someone.

[t-8900]

She is my everything and I am her's. Thats the way it has to be if you want that relationship to last and be healthy and happy. My partner is like the other half of my heart and soul. Including her is just including myself. I wouldn't want to spend time apart from her that I didn't have to anyways. I like to be in close proximity to her. I was the same way growing up with my dad and my grandparents. I love being close. Same rooms even if not doing the same things. Being able to talk whenever about anything.

[Twalli]

I understand what you mean about selfishness, but you can also be selfish by wanting to do everything with your partner and neither of you being allowed to do things on your own.

[Moimaris]

I agree. And I think many people don’t know what marriage means, what commitments means and selfless love. In a marriage you take care of eachother. You devote yourself to the partner. Some feminist women having trouble to serve the husband just like the husband serves the wife. It has nothing to do with who is better or more dominant. It’s just our nature. Being selfish won’t make marriage work

[Finchie40]

Exactly and that’s why most marriages and relationships don’t last , it’s nothing to do with trust , it comes down to respect , if a partner told me they didn’t like me hanging out with a certain someone , I will talk to my partner and find out why they don’t like that person and listen to them , even if I don’t agree with my partner I am still going to take her side , and respect her
Feelings , I only stay friends with people that respect my relationship and my partner , if a friend tries to pull me away from my partner then to me they are not a friend and i will distance myself from the friendship out of respect for my partner , Most people do not do this and wonder why they end up divorced or single because they are only thinking of themselves , I would never go on a tropical vacation without including my partner first , but when your partner can do that to you and exclude you they are breaking the foundation you created together under God , so tell them to go on that vacation without you and tell them not to come back , when a partner can stop you from doing things that they don’t like you doing but they can’t stop for you , it’s time to let them go and move on and find someone that wants to be by your side. Marriages and commitments are 2 people becoming 1 , Things won’t ever be perfect but if you can’t sacrifice for your partner don’t think they will sacrifice for you. You are adding fire and resentments to your relationship when you only think about yourself , your selfishness will destroy your relationship , if you need friends in your life , find friends that respect and value your relationship , that don’t try to pull you away for their selfish wants and needs , if my partner isn’t included then I am not going period cuz my partner comes first and I didn’t commit to her to be single I committed to her to experience life and things together. So Find someone that wears your shoes like you wear theirs and that’s where love grows , removing selfishness

[DizzyDesii]

Nah you can still be a little selfish. But communication is very much needed to explain the times that its okay to be that haha

[Finchie40]

Sorry to disagree with this , especially in a marriage , yes communication is key to every relationship but when you don’t make your partner your number 1 priority , you are allowing fire to enter into your relationship, even though in your mind you feel everything is ok and you won’t do anything to hurt your partner , you are leaving your partner worried about you with a question mark over their head thinking what are they up to and are they safe , it’s nothing to do with trust , it comes down to respect for your marriage , if you can’t respect Your partner they will not
Respect you, When I was married I did a lot of selfish things in the beginning thinking everything i was doing wasn’t effecting my marriage , until I realized it was cuz I was only thinking of myself and not my partner, so I stopped and put myself in her shoes , out of respect for my partner and my marriage I turned down a bunch of invites from friends that made it clear my wife was excluded, if a friend can’t respect your marriage then they are not a friend , if they can’t accept the fact that you are married and have a family then they aren’t a real friend , they are toxic friends , you don’t have to hate them but definitely distance yourself from them you should never have friends that want to exclude your partner , if your partner feels left out in the relationship you are going to destroy your relationship , you aren’t single anymore , those days are over , not saying you can’t go out with friends without your partner but the time with those Friends should be limited, if your partner doesn’t like one of your friends then you are best to distance yourself from that friendship , and find out for sure why your partner doesn’t like that friend , your partner might see something in them that you don’t see but out of respect for your partner you distance yourself from them , A friend should never invite you on a tropical getaway without including your partner, especially if they never been

[DizzyDesii]

Im saying i always make the partner top priority under God and until i have kids. However, once ina while, i definitely have to make sure im happy. So i dont mind occasionally putting myself first as long as i give them a heads up

[Finchie40]

By you choosing to go without thinking of your partner is a selfish decision on your part , you got married to experience things together , raise a family together , go through ups and downs together , your partner should be your best friend and when you push your best friend away for your selfish needs and wants don’t think for a second that they are going to just sit there waiting for you , your friends come last , they will not be there for you in the long haul your partner will be if you show the same respect to them as they do to you

[Finchie40]

When people think grass is greener on the other side you are only damaging the foundation you created with your partner , instead of thinking grass is greener on the other side , water the one you are standing on , we can only give to receive , when we constantly give without receiving then let that person go and find someone that doesn’t want to leave your side , if someone can’t sacrifice for you like you do for them , tell them to go have fun on that trip but make sure you pack enough cuz you won’t be coming back to this home , people that do that live in one sided relationships and wonder why they can’t keep a relationship

[DizzyDesii]

Dude i said once in a while. Calm down my aquarius brother 🤣

[Finchie40]

LOL I am in shock my Aquarius girl didn’t fully agree with me I had to get her back on track lol

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao we had a down moment 🤣

[PrettyPriya]

I agree. A relationship, whether dating or marriage, requires sacrifice from both partners. There is always give and take.

[Cubus]

Yes. I believe a true love is only if you can sacrifice yourself for your spouse.

[townhouse]

totally agree

[Slim57]

Agree