Why do some bullies play the victim when confronted?

[Anonymous]

I know this girl, who is a bit (rather more a huge) bully. She bullied my best friend for being prettier than her by calling her names, talked about people behind their backs calling them “losers”, and she slept with my friend’s boyfriend trying to convince him to break up with my friend. She puts people down all the time and is generally a not nice person. But when this girl is confronted about her behaviour or someone stands up for themselves, she ALWAYS starts crying and sobbing, runs to her boyfriend or whoever and says “why are they being so mean to me and accusing me of something I didn’t do.” She always plays the victim and lies saying she didn’t do these things when she did. What causes some bullies to act out like this and never take accountability? She’s so irritating

[lightbulb27]

not sure bully is the right word. I'm sure psychologists would apply some other labels.

annoying is also not quite right.

She is one sick human that has low self worth at minimum, clamoring for attention, power, but cannot take responsibility. Her reality is messed up by her emotional state. that's minimal. she's a mess of a human.

check her into the therapist for 10 years and then lets find out what damage was done why a baby would turn into that.

run...

[Anonymous]

Most bullies don't think of themselves as bullies. They are damaged individuals, sometimes the victim of bullying or abuse themselves. They last out because they don't see anyone in their corner, and they when someone stands up to them they feel attacked and resort to established patterns of responses. If you work with troubled kids, you see this behaviour a lot.

[Asker]

So how should someone deal with them then? This girl is actually really not a good person, she has no morals. She seeks sympathy even when she slept with my friend’s boyfriend. She then went on to bully my friend some more

[Opinion Owner]

You're not her therapist, you don't have to deal with her.

[Asker]

She comes crying to me or others when she’s accused of something she has done

[Asker]

She had even woken me up in the middle of the night to listen to her cry about “something she’s apparently been accused of”

[Opinion Owner]

Don't engage with her. A reply like "That's not my problem." or "Maybe they had a point" should send her packing. She won't go back to you if she's not getting what she wants from you.

[Asker]

Yeah I will, thank you. She will probably go crying to other people about what bad people we all are, but whatever that’s her opinion

[FlaffyCheez]

In essence a bully is someone who is also suffering from trauma in truth they probably are victims, not in that moment but were/are in others.

Ever hear the phrase "who hurt you?" It's a great and accurate one. Hurt people, hurt other people...

It takes a great amount of EQ to not do what someone has done to you.

[Asker]

I feel this particular girl does it because she has issues and is dreadfully insecure in herself. The girls that she often bullies are beauties or amazing in some other way. It still doesn’t excuse her behaviour though

[FlaffyCheez]

Yep. It never does.

[Starla1234]

Because they are really just cowards and attention seekers

[cuckbetamale]

They scared girl. I was bullied by some girls at school. I peed myself once. And u could see my panty line through my shorts

[Asker]

I’m sorry that happened to you, sending hugs

[cuckbetamale]

Yesss it's okkk now hehe. Panties r great