Guys what would you do if you found out you wife or girlfriend was raped and impregnated while you were together? Would you stay with her?

[Finchie40]

I am curious considering I read a whole thing on rape victims and it stated most husbands or boyfriends will end up leaving the girl and blaming her for being raped and they also aren’t able to touch her again after that , So would you stay with her or Leave

[Recurrence]

This is probably going to come off bad however I say it, I’m high, so sorry if it doesn’t make sense either

The first thing I thought about was that she didn’t say anything about it. Like, in my relationship, I want open honest communication and trust. I’m forward and I want that in return. So her getting pregnant from a rape and not saying anything gives me a really bad feeling.

My second thought was on if she was:
1. keeping it
2. aborting it
3. going through with the pregnancy and giving it up for adoption

For 2&3, I would stay and be supportive however I could. But if she wanted to keep and raise the kid, I wouldn’t stay. I don’t want children, I don’t like being around children. I find them very depressing and also annoying, so I just feel that I wouldn’t be a good father to a child.

Hopefully that all makes sense, AND hopefully I don’t come off as a total asshole

[horatiohornblower]

No, mostly I’d be angry that I wasn’t there to protect her. Which is irrational but that’s how I’d feel. I wouldn’t blame her at all. All my anger would be at the guy.

I’d be fine touching her. Whenever she felt comfortable having a man touch her again.

[DizzyDesii]

My ex told me that if that happened, i needed to abort. I said i wouldn't punish the baby for some rapists actions and that the baby was the one blessing out of it. He told me he wouldn't stay if i kept it. I told him the baby and i would be fine either way

[Cubus]

Your boyfriend may leave you Desii, but your child will always be with you and will always love you no matter what.

[DizzyDesii]

@Cubus Exactly. He knew the kid would come first

[Finchie40]

Yea the whole thing would be traumatizing but I wouldn’t expect her to abort the baby , it’s not the baby’s fault

[DizzyDesii]

He was very strict about never wanting to adopt or raise any child that wasn't biologically his. YET, our relationship suffered the last 3 months because he started to fall for some coworker WHO WAS DATING SOMEONE ELSE and had like a 2 year old kid with someone else. He claim he didn't cheat but he definitely was crushing and would idiotally admittely say things like “i want to go to this work party because she's gonna be there.”. Little hypocritical bastard. How dumb could you be to say shit like that aloud to the person you're dating

[Avicenna]

Although what he did was wrong, few men would be OK with their partner raising a child that resulted from a rape, especially one that occurred after they were together. That's simply not something you can expect a man to accept.

[DizzyDesii]

@Avicenna i didn't expect him to accept it. Even if it wasn't from rape, he was clear about never raising another mans child. Yet he's oddly enough now raising another mans child and he almost cheated on me wih a girl whos child OF ANOTHER MAN he almost helped raise. So the little bastard was just hypocritical. But he knows how important a child is to me and i let him know that he could easily walk out the door if he couldnt handle what could perhaps be apart of God’s Plan

[Finchie40]

Yea most guys can’t handle being with a girl that already has kids from someone else , when I was younger I use to think that way as well honestly but as I got older I realized it was dumb of me to feel that way but for a long time I was totally against being with a girl that already had kids, it was a huge turn off to me, I look back and think why did I feel that way? I think it comes down to territorial feelings , Most people don’t like knowing their partner had sex with someone else and children are a walking reminder that they did lol it’s a jealousy thing , Girl’s do this as well , I dated girl’s that the second they found out I had kids already were instantly not interested in me anymore , So already having kids with someone else makes it harder to find someone because you are now a package deal , My kids are my world and if a girl Can’t accept my kids Then I can’t accept her and don’t want anything to do with her , and when I date a new girl will tell her that I am a father already and if she can handle that? And explain to her that I won’t introduce her to my kids until I feel she is in it for the long haul , it’s a way I protect my kids from getting attached to someone new that decides this isn’t the relationship for them and then they walk away , Sadly the kids suffer as well , So as a father to my children, I do not introduce my kids to new girls , I keep my dating life separate from my kids until I feel her out and feel she is going to stand by my side for the long haul , I mainly did that when my kids were younger , Now that they are older and understand things they don’t seem to care lol They tell me Dad go date , go find someone and most the time they are trying to set me up with Their friends mom’s that are divorced , I tease them and say is she hot lol so it’s funny how we change as we get older and realize things that bothered us before don’t really bother us as we get older but everyone is different and everyone has their preference

[Finchie40]

At my age now I prefer a girl to already have kids that doesn’t want anymore or a girl that doesn’t want kids at all , I can’t see myself starting over with raising a new born and going through all the misery of school days lol The shit is a nightmare , I love kids to death but to start over is not on the top of my to do list , I am at a point in life now that I just want to meet someone that wants to spoil each other and do things together like travel to places I never been , and share things together have a best friend/ lover someone that can stay loyal to me and love me like I love them , Most girls I meet don’t really want that, they want the whole marriage and having babies which I understand completely but I been there and done it already so entering the dating world today hasn’t been easy and most people today are very selfish and don’t know what the true meaning of a relationship is , most girls today are selfish from my experiences and only really care about themselves , But I still have hope that maybe she is out there

[DizzyDesii]

I used to say i could date a guy who had at least one child between ages 2-6. But tbh, i rather he not have any yet so that we can give eachother all our attention for at least a year

[Seangreen]

If I was doubting that the relationship had any future yeah I think that would end up ending it if not immediately maybe down the line if it was somebody I really loved and cared about there's no way I'd leave their side although I would not want them to have the child and I'm not a fan of abortion but that's one of the times I believe it's okay

[Avicenna]

Well, the real problem is that she didn't tell her partner about something very serious, something that should not be kept hidden. And you didn't say what the circumstances were- those could affect how the man reacts.

[humpbackjack]

Man that’s messed up I wouldn’t leave her but I would probably be gone for a while but I’d do my best to not get caught so I could stay home and be there for her but dudes gotta die

[AviatorTom]

Stay. She was violated and did nothing wrong. She needs and deserves my support, and I'd be happy to give it.

[quarkstar63]

Absolutely, it's obviously not her fault. No brainer.

[Cubus]

It would be very hard for everyone, but I could not leave my other half alone in such awful situation. I would stay and help her. It would be a time she would need me.

[OddBeMe]

Yes that’s a toughy all around. Mostly for the woman of course. But that’s why abortion is needed.

[Anonymous]

Of course, as long as I get first dibs on kicking in the rapist

[Moimaris]

Then he must be an asshole

[Finchie40]

LOL yes a lot of assholes out there , I been jogging my brain on this and it would definitely come down to how loving the relationship is between them , cuz it would be traumatizing for both parties , I pray that I never experience anything like this

[WowwGirl]

How is rape the victims fault. Silly question

[Finchie40]

It’s not the victims fault , but I guess it stems down to how territorial a guy is to his girl , and that he can’t handle the fact that his girl was violated and blames her I was jogging my brain about this on why he would blame her , my guess is maybe he feels that she shouldn’t of dressed the way she did , or she shouldn’t of gone out to bars with her friends and putting herself in that situation so I guess the time and place would play a factor as well , if he feels she could of prevented it from happening , I know most guys hate the fact that their girl’s go out for Girl’s night cuz they feel they aren’t able to protect her and most guys know how other guys think it’s not that we don’t trust her it’s the fact that we can’t protect her and we become worried about her , but most girls will say he is insecure , which is not 100 percent true , When I use to work as a bouncer at a bar , I use to see girls come in all the time for Girls night and being silly and seeking attention, being surrounded by guys that were looking to get laid , then all of a sudden the husbands/ boyfriends would show up looking for them and it would turn to a heated mess , it happened a lot I couldn’t pick sides, I could see where she was coming from and where he was coming from , so that’s my guess as to why he would leave. He feels disgusted and he feels that he can’t trust her ever again , study showed that most men will leave her , it’s crazy , I agree the whole thing would be fucked up but for a guy to leave her and not support her is a shock to me. I been trying to put myself in that type of situation and ask myself what I would do if that ever occurred , and I guess it would come down to how loving the relationship is between her and I and how much she loved and valued me would play a big factor if I could handle it and raising a child that wasn’t mine I don’t believe in abortion, So I would look at the baby as a part of her. So for the most part I would stand by her side

[TrillXHippy]

I doubt that I would leave her

[emperor90]

Yeah i would