Is it possible to love more than one person at the same time?

[Desconhecida]

[Manolithor]

Yes it's possible.

The countries where polygamy is legal are: Afghanistan, Algeria, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Benin, Burma, Burkina Faso, Cameroon, Qatar, Chad, Comoros, Congo, Egypt, United Arab Emirates, Gabon, Gambia, India, Indonesia, Iraq, Iran, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Liberia, Libya, Malaysia, Mali, Morocco, ...

But also, what is the difference between polygamy and monogamy?

Monogamy is not natural. Polygamy, on the other hand, goes hand in hand with the evolution of the species. Monogamy - the practice of being married to only one person (social monogamy) or having only one partner as a lover for a certain period (sexual monogamy) - is not. ...

Another question would be, what is monogamy and polygamy?

Monogamy is not natural. Polygamy, on the other hand, goes hand in hand with the evolution of the species. Monogamy - the practice of being married to only one person (social monogamy) or having only one partner as a lover for a certain period (sexual monogamy) - is not. ...

However, what is the difference between polygamy, polyandry and monogamy?

Monogania occurs when within the family nucleus there is only one wife and polygamy is when the husband has more than one wife, as it happens in the Middle Eastern countries.

[Kittycurious]

Polyamory is supposed to include love between all partners. I think it may work but rarely. I don't think the love and care is distributed equally. What is done in other countries is for survival and an economic reasons. Women's choices are limited there

[Wester1967]

No. That's you loving yourself.

[DizzyDesii]

I’ve felt deeply for two guys at a time many times and have dated both and been in lots of love triangles. I’ve cared deeply for both in different ways because I could envision a future with both. However, i could only become the official girlfriend of one and I can only love one at time. The moment i feel I’m ready to tell one “I love you” then the other person has to be dropped that same day and I tell em that my feelings are stronger for someone else. I never get physical with both guys. THe physical stuff can't come until sometime after I’ve made a choice. I was in a lot of love triangles from age 3 all the way until age 24. And almost 99% of the guys i chose because they loved me more than i loved them, never ended up being the one that i was IN LOVE with… I hate that. Debating if i should start choosing the one that I love more or just wait for someone who mutually loves me. But either way, Its a new year so time to change the gameplan

[DizzyDesii]

Long story short, I can love more than one but can only be IN LOVE with one. I often chose who i loved enough because they loved me more rather than the one i was IN LOVE with who seemingly loved me less

[Desconhecida]

I guess I understand what you're saying. Love is not the same as being in love but when both happen at the same time is wonderful.

I feel a tendency of yours to always settle for the safe option there - maybe that's a defense mechanism to avoid being hurt.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i dont play it safe anymore. Last year was the first time in a long time that I didn't choose the safe option. I ended up hurting someone and i also ended up hurt myself, but i was happy i went with what i truly wanted

[Desconhecida]

That's a nice change to make, especially these days. Every day counts and we learned the hard way we can lose our loved ones all of a sudden. If there's anything good that came from all this madness happening around the world is not to waste our lives being unhappy any longer.
I'm proud of you, girl!

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Personally I dont think so. If you love more than one than you dont truly love any of them.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Maybe, but not possible to have a healthy relationship or sustain that love with more than one person, someone's bound to get hurt that way..

[TheorionMage]

You can fantasize a pluralistic polyandry or more likely, living a multiple infidelity competitive courtship
that is, UNTIL the Suitors respond to their natural inclination to remove the competition OR to instead treat the object-of-their-affections as TRULY but an animate sex toy.

In REAL life, I once dated a high school girl who'd been stringing four males along as their 'steady' girl friend; when they learned of one another instead of fighting for her fickle affections, she was treated to a 12 hour gang bang, leaving her injured and as a 'Boston Cream' éclair, multiply-fertilized from every (and I mean EVERY) orifice. Under Polaroid photographic extortion, she declined to press charges~

[mstbooblover]

Let's be honest. It seems that women tend to only really love one man, but I'm a man and thus cannot talk on behalf of the ladies. On the other hand, my answer as man is YES, although in practice, while being with my wife, having a love relation with another woman would have made life unbearable. A woman will mostly defend her family from all possible dangers, and another woman is in her eyes nearly always one of those dangers for the stability of that family !

There's still a difference between : the potential possibility, and the facts in practice. I think that a relation of two women and one man can only succeed if the two women also love each other. I guess you understand what I mean : all three partners love having sex with each other (or something supplying as alternative form of love) and on top LOVING each other for who they are.

[Kittycurious]

And the two women having their own separate male partners. Only fair.

[mstbooblover]

@Kittycurious Sure, I understand your point, but that's not what I meant in the mentioned example. I sketched a closed relationship between three persons loving each other, and in this case 2 women and 1 man. All variants are possible, but what you suggest is all members to have lovers outside the main family, and in that case, there's not much more than material interests, among those sex of course, but real love? Sympathy or even affection maybe, but love? I have doubts. Don't be mistaken, I do not emit any judgment.

[Kittycurious]

You are talking about a triad. I had a guy wanting me for that. I had already V poly and that was a disaster. So my answer was no. I said something to the same as you just did. The women would have to be bisexual. And be in love with one another. Even in a triad were they all are in love with one another. The love and care wouldn't be equal. And someone would be left out. I don't judge those who want to. I'm just being realistic. in my opinion. Not worth sharing. Maybe quad with 2nd guy. So it is more inclusive. But of coarse. Men are less likely to want that. Both men shut me down when I suggested another guy. Lol. Typical.

[mstbooblover]

@Kittycurious Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject. You're making me meditate ;0)

Love is a phenomenon that can not be pinned down to one definition, and many varieties are possible, even if not immediately obvious for onlookers or even involved persons. If you allow me to speak about myself, I'm only interested in women, not at all in men, which means in my case the only open option would be an extra lady. Still, keep in mind that there many more bisexual men than you might think ! And it's also that way that people get the opportunity to discover each other, by chance I mean.

You're certainly right to state that "love and care wouldn't be equal", but love can take many different aspects, and reducing feelings to statistics... no, that doesn't work either. Love can also come and go (as the song goes: easy come, easy go...). I think that's life: nothing is perpetual.

A quad with a second guy is an intelligent possibility, but sure two couples will arise naturally. The pleasure in this configuration is also being aware of the other couple having fun. Things on the other hand go ape if one of the four disappears because the inherent logic is not the same as within a basic stable triad.

[Kittycurious]

I appreciate your insight. Tbh. It is just too complicated. And life is complicated enough. I rather just have my one guy. To love and be loved by. Anything else. I'll pass and I'm ok being alone. I'm 32 by the way. And have had some life experiences. 💜

[mstbooblover]

@Kittycurious I like your honesty. In any case, concerning our subject, things sometimes just happen, without obvious reasons. I think that in general one guy and one women should do for a happy relationship. Nevertheless, being always only two living together (children set aside), means both partners will need sometimes time alone ; something my wife did not understand. Maybe that's the reason why a triad may be a success, because of the ability to still be really together while having the possibility to take a little distance by approaching the third partner. A triad allows the partners to be at moments mentally absent individually while the two others are with each other. Sure this kind of situation requires a real mental maturity and certainly does not fit everyone.

I my case, knowing I really love the female nature, and the idea the ladies having also some sensitivity for the female charms, a triad with two women could have been possible. Of course my wife would never have agreed, although in the beginning of our relationship, before meeting my wife, there was a girl I loved very much with whom I never had sex with. That girl needed to move, and I suggested in presence of both ladies to live all three together. None of the two ladies said really no, and neither seemed shocked, but ultimately nothing came out of it. Sure both girls knew what I meant.

Another example occured in my own family. An uncle and his wife had exchanges with another couple. Two men, two women: the situation you suggested. Their relations went very well until the man of the other couple died. Then everything became poisened because of jealousy on behalf of my uncle's wife. Had their relation been a triad from the start, things may have worked out better.

[Kittycurious]

I disagree with you on both accounts. You don't seem to understand straight women. I personally like my alone time. Many women do. Triads rarely work. MMF. FFM. Someone will be left out. That relationship was working bc it was a quad. Doesn't matter how it started. The moment it went triad with 2 straight women it was doomed. Women would have to be bisexual. And still it would be difficult. Bc no one man can provide the needs of 2 women. You need a 2nd. Nobody says you men have to have sex. I hear this from so many men. Sorry. I think it is selfish on the part of the men. I'm happy I passed on the triad. If I were to share. Then he shares as well. Only fair

[mstbooblover]

@Kittycurious I get your point, but there's not only one type of configuration within a triad or quad. For instance, what I tried to stress is the fact that it is exactly the fact that sometimes one of the partners may need to be left alone that could make it work. Some people need to have time alone, but still knowing the other two or three are there. In the case of my uncle, I guess to two ladies and the two men did not have lesbian or gay relations. My uncle wanted to continue his relations with the widowed woman, and his wife was indeed really left out. Which means you also have a point ;0)

Sure, concerning men, that they are more than often selfish. This does not mean ladies are not. Women's priorities are still certainly different, and most men's ego is too big to accept that truth. I thank you for making me meditate about this topic.

[Kittycurious]

I meditate too. I just stress equality. And I will never be made to feel secondary to anyone again. I rather be alone. My ex partner. Who was "poly" lost it when I acquired another partner. He knew I felt lonely. As the secondary in V poly. His wife and I were just friendly. I ended up breaking it off with the new guy to keep the first one happy. I was an idiot. And it was selfish of him. He had 2. I didn't even have half. My experiences definitely have changed how I view things. Equality. Is highly important to me. Even in monogamy

[mstbooblover]

@Kittycurious Yes, equality is something I'm also looking for. In practice very difficult to achief because people have not the same personal priorities and tastes. When I mention on some sites I don't want to be dominated, and not dominate, that I don't need a slave and no master, no one seems to understand. Since the death of my wife I'm also living alone, and all in all feel all right, although I still would love the presence of a woman, ONE woman I mean, to share equally all that can be shared together ;0)

In a poly configuration, equality is difficult, but on the other hand I know some people like to be dominated, which is a way to exist in their subconscience, and others like to dominate, which is also a way to prove they exist. The slave type prefers getting that kind of attention rather than undergoing indifference. The master type wants to get a reaction to what he's doing, getting that way some kind of confirmation he does exist in the eyes of someone. Everything is not that extreme of course, and all shades of grey do exist, but basically human society is similar to apes and wolves: hierarchy, in which every individual finds a natural place. Not easy for humans ;0)

[Kittycurious]

I was asked to be part of a triad. MFF by the male. He claimed there would be equality between the 3 of us. But how can there be? One male 2 females. Already that configuration is unequal. It's unrealistic. And anyone who wants to play the dominant role or slave. I question their mental state

[mstbooblover]

@Kittycurious I understand your point, but as already said, there are many varieties in threesomes. One of those is exactly role playing, which is a big turnon for many people. Same for BDSM. None of these being my thing, but I know from discussions with women that the submentioned games may help some people. Everything depends on the involved people's tendencies. Now, to be honest, my preference goes really to a plain one man and one woman relation, but becoming older and being widowed, without the need of starting a new family, I'm open to try some different configurations. And because at my age it's rather difficult to find a real girlfriend, I'm open to what may be suggested by women I meet. For instance be an occasional guest to a flexible lesbian couple.

[Kittycurious]

Which is fine. Just with realistic expectations. I personally don't want to share regardless of gender

[mstbooblover]

@Kittycurious To be honest, I'm instinctively either not really prone to share a partner, but in a relationship, who knows in advance the desires of a partner? Being a guest is another situation that once happened to me. A nice girl invited me, and sure enough I went to her place. Her friend was there and filmed us. Odd situation you might think, till the man told me he had suffered from a form of cancer that prevented him from having sex. Organising encounters, watching, filming, was his way to participate in the girl's pleasure. She really agreed to and loved all that. What some women told me opened my eyes on the variety of possibilities and fantasms. This rewarding session was only occasional for me, and I'm still vaguely hoping to meet a woman to built a lasting relationship. Allow me to dream a bit ;0)

[Kittycurious]

The experience you describe seems reasonable and understandable. I'm glad it was positive for all three. My true objection is in a relationship. I now state my position early. I won't even consider someone as a partner if they want anything other than monogamy. I compromised myself once in a relationship. And it was to my detriment. I won't again when my heart is in the line. I won't even risk getting attached. Friends only status? I don't know. Things would have to feel chill. No true attachment maybe. But then again I don't do casual sex. But maybe someday. I'm 32 by the way. I have had some life experiences

[mstbooblover]

@Kittycurious According from what I guess between the lines, you seem to have lived some unhappy events. I'm twice your age, and you're still very young. In all relations between people with each other and even with animals, emotions are naturally generated, whatever those may be. Deciding not to attach oneself anymore, although understandable, is probably the worst decision one can make, and let's face it, not realistic.

At least you know you want a guy to start a real relation, maybe even create a family, and if that's your deepest wish, there's no other option than taking the risk. Try to keep some form of philosophy while keeping the door slightly open for a possible candidate. Maybe casual sex is indeed not for you anymore, but only if you do not refuse to indulge out of fear for emotions and betrayal. Forgive me if I seem a bit pedant: it's far from what I want to be. Sure you understand that if you check my questions ;0)

[JustALilDifferent]

I think you can. And I think most people already do. Everybody has that one person or ex that they thought would be forever but ultimately couldn’t be in a relationship together for whatever reason. Like my ex wife and I, truly love each other to death even 7 years after the divorce but put us together and we clash way too much. But you could fall in love with someone else because of qualities they have. Could be they have what the other one doesn’t. Or in my case, it’s the similar qualities that seem to lock me in there

[To_Ko]

I don't believe so, I don't believe it's love just a very attentive respectful caring affection.. is it love when your gonna end up hurting one of them because you enjoy the difference that they offer. One wild one tame so that every situation is possible, a people are most likely unified with a certain identity. Truly what is it that you love about them, do they know? only way I could accept that would be a understood and accepted love triangle of sorts, but beyond that I feel like your just delaying the inevitable hurt you will inflict on them and yourself.

[weysally]

I don't think so, I love my husband all round, I have sex with other men there sometimes is a moment that I think I love but its only because sex ahs been great
1/ so to me there is all round love
2/ there is sex love
3/ there is socializing love
plus others maybe

[ohshee]

Love Is Love Love is Beautiful you love your mom you love your dad you love your brother you love your sister all the same time don't you you can love one to 100 people all at the same time that what you do with that is your choice to and how deep that love is is your choice too because there's over five thousand different types of love

[Fireguy17]

sure, I love my family, my wife, my pets, life all sorts of stuff.
As for partners it is best to only be in love with one at a time.
It usually doesn't end well, and unlike the porn movies rarely do you get both at once.
Not saying it can't happen, but not very often.

[RobT312]

Yeah I do think it’s possible but I don’t think it would be as deep as the love you get by focusing on one person. If the goal is marriage, kids, family, I don’t see how it lasts. I think long term if it was successful then more people would be doing it.

[Daniela1982]

This has been asked at least twice that I responded to and I said yes. For instance, your husband and your mother, since you didn't specify in this instance.

[Desconhecida]

I meant in a romantic way.

[Daniela1982]

You can but the drama, jealousy, and decisions you have to make are not worth it.
https://youtu.be/xFB1yytGLRA

[Satyromaniac]

@Daniela1982 thanks for the video link, I heard this song for the first time, and I absolutely love it's lyrics and admire the honesty in it. 😊

[TwinkleLily5]

Yes but you’ll probably love one person more and are likely choose the person you love the most. This is sometimes why men have mistresses (don’t agree with it) just saying.

[Adam1978]

Certainly but don't expect to elevate the love to relationship status with more than one. Because there is no way you can manage to not make that into a success for all involved.

[Kittycurious]

Be in love or just love? I think you can love two people romantically. But not equally. Mmf or mff. Someone will always be left out

[Satyromaniac]

I'm sorry you experienced it in the wrong way, someone will be left out if they are not on the same page with the others, and love is love, you've made a mistake right on the minute you're comparing/calculating it's equality/equalness.

[Kittycurious]

Wdym. I made a mistake? In thinking the love and affection. And care should be equal?

[bgreek]

Yeah, fuck one while the other walks in
And catches you that's funny shit
I say nope, eventually someone gets hurt
Might as well choose one

[Satyromaniac]

One is not the natural way, one will limit your happiness, one will eventually die, leave or outgrow you, I won't be with that one who will make my life miserable, I'll choose the one who walks in on me fucking, then smiles, showers and joins us. The only person getting hurt would be an ex who can't bear to c us happy.

[bgreek]

@Satyromaniac
Well good luck
Finding that unicorn

[Satyromaniac]

Already have 🤪😉

[KrisPW]

Yes, but in different ways. Romantically, I suppose it can be done, but would take a very special set of people to handle all the complications.

[Satyromaniac]

A very very special set of people, but they don't call it complications, we call it mood swings, everyone is not on the same page in their lives at the same time. To handle that all you need to have patience, a big big heart with lots of forgiveness in it and absolutely vast & true unselfish love.

[Aerissa_Jade]

It is possible, I've done it. I love my first love who passed away and always will but love my current man too.

[FreyaRed]

No. I would define this as love. When you really love someone everyone else who is interested in you, turns into a nobody.

[Roguehoneylife]

Yes. It’s called polyamory. Not everyone is wired the same way

[Satyromaniac]

So true

[fpmsn]

Well I have two girlfriends and i love both of them, so yes it is possible

[Heartache0405]

That must be great for you, but suck for them

[fpmsn]

That tells me a lot of you and your mentality, you think that they can't think and choose for themselves... So pathetic... They are not obligated to be with me, in fact they want to be with me and they want me to be with other girls, and they have an incredible friendship with each other. They are gorgeous girls that could be with almost every man but they choose me.

[Kittycurious]

I agree. Doubt your love and care is equal. The only one that gets their needs met is you. I have been one of those women. Neither one if us had are needs met. He didn't want us to have any other men. But he wanted us both. Bc he "loved" us. It was utter bs

[Kittycurious]

We choose him too. To our detriment. Finally I got sick of it and I choose out. No man can meet the needs of two women. The women need other men to fill the void. Don't be delusional

[fpmsn]

How do you know that? How do you know what are our "needs"? How do you know that our "needs" are not fullfiled? Because your past relationship? Do you think that we are the same? 😂😂 You know nothing about our relationship and our "needs" but think you know me and my relationships and you are just spitting the hate of your past relationship on me... shameful. they are gorgeous, beautiful and confident women, they are models and they have a lot of successful and rich guys wanting them, if they were not fullfiled they wouldn't be with me for more than 6 years but I know you will just keep hating 😂

[Kittycurious]

No hate. I'm grateful for my past. I learned a ton about myself and I'm stronger for it. I do know women. I have lived that experience. And I know others in the poly world. The women that are happy. Have side relationships with other men. You may not know about them

[fpmsn]

Says who? You? Based on what? Your last relationship? 😂 How many miserable monogamous people are? How many happy monogamous people are? And you attribute your fail to the nature of the relationship? Here we go again, you think you know.. no you haven't lived this experience because you don't know our relationship, we don't have a poly relationship... they don't have other men because they don't want, my girls don't speak to other men because they don't want. That is the problem with a lot of people with broke relationships telling me how relationships works thinking that they know something when they don't have a clue 😂👏

[Heartache0405]

You’re clearly get off on this conversation thinking you’re all high and mighty for having two women. Someday you’ll realize that the fun you’re having in your youth isn’t going to last forever. You’ll have to choose one or neither and I’m pretty sure both of those women know that. So enjoy it while it lasts, kid. Because someday you’re gonna feel pretty ducking ridiculous when you’re older

[Kittycurious]

Well said Heartache. He may just be living his fantasy out on this forum

[fpmsn]

High and mighty? 😂 You are the guy doing all the predictions of my life because you are so wise without knowing me and I am the high and mighty? 😂 I'm just a guy defending myself and my relationships for being judge and hated by people that think they know better and are giving me advices with a lot of hate without anyone asking them. Notice that I didn't judge you our your relationships but you are still doing that. Thank you for the proficies professor heartache 😂

[fpmsn]

I will kitty and you may live you nightmare out on this forum 😉😘

[Heartache0405]

Thanks, @Kittycurious.

I’m just being real with you, @fomsn. The fact that you’re so quick to defend this so called “relationship” you have with these two women makes me think it’s an extremely fragile thing. Otherwise you wouldn’t give a shit what people think.

[Heartache0405]

I haven’t been in a relationship in 6 years and I don’t plan on getting into one. Let alone with multiple women. And If I’m not mistaken, I’m the one with the calm mind here while you’re in hysterics trying to hide your true thoughts on your own relationshit

[fpmsn]

The fact that you attacked my relationships without me doing nothing to you tells me a lot of your character. I don't care what you think, this is just making me laugh but when someone attacks me and my women I defend.. when someone attacks my family, my pets, my children, my friends I defend them. It's not about your opinion, it's about your attacks and that tells me also that you can't defend nothing not even your life. And if you can't defend it you don't deserve it, if you have a girl I feel bad for her, grow a spine please 😂

[fpmsn]

Ahahaha hysterics? You have no sense of reality... You are attacking something so hard, with all that hate and I'm being hysterical? I'm laughing with you guys... 😂 But now I will leave you alone, it will be hard because you amuses me but I'll leave you with your porn and hand alone, don't worry.

[Kittycurious]

Lol. No hate. I know poly people. And lived it. Just stating reality. Good luck to you and them. If they even exist outside of porn. (You did bring up the porn. We didn't)

[pecanqueen86]

No not like you think your heart may confuse love and lust too much. If you loved the first person you never would have fell in love with the other person but then again I've never been in love with two people at one time