Have you ever been ghosted by someone you thought was close to you?

Question

How did you recover? 😭

InventorofWarp · Accepted Answer

Yes.
We had talked exclusively online for close to a year before she got pissed at me for stuff and ghosted me. 8 months later right about the start of the pandemic she messaged me again out of the blue to see if I was alright re-igniting things. 9 months later it once again went it's course with her yet again abandoning me.
How did I recover? Well, the first time was rather easy since I had only recently moved across the country to a new city and I was kinda busy most days dealing with tons of shit so... I just focused on work, getting my own place and figuring shit out. Less than 3 months later I'd be in my own shitty studio/bachelor apartment which, ironically, she'd message me again months after that just before I left and returned back to my hometown.
The second time? I started working out constantly, fell right into my music, kicked a wicked drug addiction and completely went cold turkey on all of LSD, Oxy, DMT, Gbh, Coke and Weed as well as alcohol. Pandemic helped with this tbh since it also cut my supply of two of those off completely. Over the course of 4 long months I endured a hell of a wicked fucking withdrawal and slowly began pursuing my love as a career and repairing my life. I also relapsed about 4 months after kicking the drugs. Still working on it even now almost a year later. Currently smoking weed but haven't touched the others including alcohol in months.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Twice. A girl I dated for 9 months ghosted me after a minor argument. She was young and immature but still I didn’t that was a low I didn’t think I would sink too.

The second time was with a long time “gal pal”. We reconnected after I moved back to my home state. I used to think she was the type I could confide anything in and she wasn’t judgmental (I am not a serial killer or anything).

She then ghosted me and then tried to connect again. She blocked me earlier on all her social media apps and but then tried to message me on LinkedIn two years later. I was pleasant at first because I wanted to see what she would say. She acted like nothing was wrong and that infuriated me. I called her fake ass every name in the book and then blocked her. I hate people like that. Also another reason why I don’t make friends with women (along with a multitude of other reasons).

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Yes. Someone I've known since we were 8 years old and who I was good friends with from high school onward.

But, she is struggling with cancer and perhaps had to focus more on herself and her immediate family, and my friendship wasn't easy enough to maintain. We're long distance, we've always had an edgey friendship.

But I have to say, I've felt terribly hurt and have been lonely for our endless talks about cooking and her grandkids and what plans she had to travel with them and her daughter.

She is terribly funny and engaging and confrontational. But, I think she likely needs a non-challenging, easy friendship. Not what we've had.

So, I've had to let her go and wish her well. I apologized for anything wrong I've done that precipitated this cut-off. But perhaps it was a collection of issues. It's clear She was more important to me than vice versa. Makes me very sad to lose someone I've know nearly 60 years. It's a death.

You never get over it, you just get used to its existence.

Star_88 · Accepted Answer

He was my closest cousin.
That bastard ghosted me for no reason.
He always used to say that how precious I was to him, how much he misses me and all that emotional crap, but after years of our deep bond, he disappeared and even IGNORED me on my face whenever I last visited for many days. He didn't even spoke a word to me even after the long time I visited.
I'm really pissed off and consider him dead. He really hurt my feelings, I felt discarded, devalued and invisible.
We haven't spoken since years and I'll never forgive him even if he tries to come back.
What kind of a fake bond was this?

string43 · Answer

I am going through this presently and I think I have a good understanding of how you might be feeling. I feel absolutely wretched and torn up. Constantly assessing what I could have done differently while also acknowledging that there was nothing at all wrong with my behavior. It just sometimes isn’t the right moment between two people no matter how compatible they might be or how wonderful you know the relationship could be. You’ve just got to be committed to caring for yourself first and try to accept its outside of your control. I think of it like catching a butterfly. You’ve got to let it go for it’s own good or it is going to die. I hope you manage to see a path forward. I know I am going to try. :)

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

I was once ghosted by a friend, I have no idea what she thinks I did, or said? I’ve certainly never done anything deliberately that would or could hurt her. But she won’t accept my calls/texts, and blocked me on insta and tik tok. As for how I recovered?
I haven’t, it’s a terrible thing when you know someone believes the worst in you, and will not give you a chance to even learn the accusations against me.
At this point, even if I did find out, I think it too late to ever save, repair, or revive the friendship. After the way she treated me, how could I ever truly believe that she is my friend? Ghosting someone is a horrible thing to do to a human being, it denies them their right to gain closure!

Moose304 · Answer

About 10 years ago I kicked a woman out of my life. She lied to me several times and I finally caught on. She thought she would "punish" me by going NC. I honestly did not care. One day about a week later I was looking in my nightstand drawer looking for a key. I noticed something I won't disclose that I was 100% sure belonged to her. I tried to call her but was unable to do so. So I just removed it and put the item in my safe. I did finally come across her sister and told her what I had. You have to be allowed into my apartment building, so one day several days later this same woman buzzed me. I got the item and took it down. It really pissed her off that I did not care she ghosted me. I just told her she was lucky I did not throw that item away, then walked back up. In my view, you play stupid games you win stupid prizes.

DarkCarousel · Answer

Not intentionally. I grew close to someone online and he meant a lot to me. We talked endlessly but only ever knew each other’s first names. We shared a lot of our lives, stories, heartaches. We lost contact and I will never have another way to reach out to him, nor he to I, if he wanted.

coconut94 · Answer

I did… he blocked me on everything one morning. We knew each other for a year and had a passionate intense romance but the situation became complicated and it became unhealthy between us. When he blocked me I was devastated and it shook me internally… I couldn’t believe he couldn’t talk to me and at least let me know. Now a month later, him blocking and ghosting me was the best thing he could have done for me.. I don’t mean this in a bitter “I’m over that a$$!” kind of way. I mean, sometimes situations call for this and it gave me time to reflect, as well as him. If we talked it out, it wouldn’t have gone this way. There was a lot of work on both our ends and no we’ve spoken for the first time since he ghosted me and I’ve never felt more optimistic that one day he’ll be my husband. I used to be anti-ghosting but I’m not anymore. Sometimes it’s what’s really needed.

matchrestore · Answer

I have been by one friend I considered to be one of my best friends. Turns out she was dating a guy that didn't think it was possible to be "just friends" with a guy... And he was abusive on top of that. They're thankfully not together anymore so we're good friends again.

Anonymous · Answer

I was really good friends with a girl for 6 months when I was younger. She used me for my kindness and took advantage of me, but I was too naive to notice. She then got up and moved across the country one day without telling anyone, and I never heard from her again. 2 years later some random guy messaged me and told me that she’d been telling random people that I had ruined her life and that she hated me. I hadn’t done anything bad to her though so it really annoyed me that she was lying to people about what happened. I also found out that she’d started sleeping with my r*pist after she moved, knowing damn well who he is.

All in all I’m glad she moved away. It taught me a valuable life lesson and I don’t want her in my life ever again.

TheBootyChest · Answer

I feel like I get ghosted by everyone I try to make friends with. I reach out to them and see how they are doing and they ignore me when they are bored or they don't see me as important.

ManOnFire · Answer

Oh of course. It was an extremely horrible feeling, like one of the worst in the world. It took quite some time to recover from, but I will tell you it hurts like nothing you've ever felt before. The reason why? Because the impact is similar to the grief of losing a loved one. Psychologists have actually talked about this.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Lowered my expectations and upped my standards. When you know you deserve better but you expect less from people in general (friends, fam, bfs, etx) life becomes a bit easier to live. You should not be surprised that the person turned out to be a flake. A lot of true colors are exposed by the day. Just know you likely deserve better. Maybe they realized that to and exited their way out of your life for that reason

dustybiker · Answer

A couple of times. Both turned out they were going through extremely tough times. Made me feel like a complete **** for thinking anything else. I hope it’s a simple explanation.

Kathryn19087 · Answer

Oh yes. It was really hurtful. I had a guy friend my freshman year of college and he moved away to New York. I visited him, no issues I remotely knew of. However after our visit he became more distant and just completely blocked me. Two years later, I can confirm this, because he reached out again and admitted it to me. He apologized profusely so I took him back as a friend. However just recently he invited me to LA for New Years but then uninvited me shortly after because he has a girlfriend now. I almost bought my tickets and everything. And we were strictly just platonic friends. Anyway, I became exhausted so I just ended up dropping him as a friend.

IAmMichael · Answer

Sure, but I find it best to just move on. If I am not so important to these people, it stands to reason that I should consider them unimportant and seek more meaningful connections. There's not really a method there you can emulate, I'm just not very sentimental.

Lucy68 · Answer

Unfortunately I have and it hurts cause I really had this strong connection with this person.

As for the recovering I do think about this person from time to time, but eventually you realize they really didn't care about you like they said they did. So the best thing to do is sad to say move on and find someone else that seems to care a lot about you.

Elise888888 · Answer

Absolutely! It happens all the time. Usually there are personality problems involved when that happens. Usually it has to do with a term we call "splitting". When a friend or lover idealizes then devalues you (its a defense mechanism). OR a person has narcissistic and sociopathic traits and ghosts you. An example would be your Narcissistic cheating husband meeting someone younger and all of a sudden leaving the family. Again- all personality issues.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

realizing the truth, that people who ghost are generally shitty defective people and your life is most certainly going to benefit from their absence. You don't want or need people like that in your life. Cut off the emotions about it and let time heal the wound, you'll be okay.

Kabluie · Answer

Yes, but I chalk it up to my own fault. Sometimes you get into relationships, travel, and do things and you didn't read their tea leaves correctly even if they live far away. Maybe they got upset over one or all these things. Life is complicated, but also if they destined to be in your life, they'll be there.

Mangospacho · Answer

That’s the worst way to end a relationship because it’s like treating someone like they don’t exist by ignoring them.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Yes, quite often!
It depends on the situation. In some cases, I just blow it off and say, "Okay, BE that way!". In some cases, I might take it hard and be sad & depressed over it for a while. In either case, I eventually just get on with life and, if they come back, they come back! If they don't, their loss, not mine! I've got things to do.

Seangreen · Answer

Yes it was the worst made me feel like the worst feeling I've ever felt and they came back after a long. Of time and basically did it again and then they came back again and tried to do it again but that time I just gave up that's how I got over it I finally started to hate the person. I was still fully not recovered from the ordeal but there was other stuff involved that made it very painful

Still-alive · Answer

yeah it fucking hurts. but im better about dealing with it now then ever. all i can tell you is time will be your friend evventually. you will get over it.. maybe not completely but enough to wear they don't take up too much real estate in your brain

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, last man I dated, that was how he eventually ended it. However, I knew it was coming to an end, so I did not bother more than a last farewell message and then I tried to let him go.. did take like a year, even though I only knew him for half a year.
He was very bad at dealing with conflicts, so not a huge surprise. Will stay away from someone like that in the future and hope that I am not unlucky to date a ghost again.

loveslongnails · Answer

I felt sad for a time. I wrote a letter, not even sure it arrived. When I got no response, I accepted it because I had no choice. I wasn't going to let it turn my life upside down. That's just the way things go sometimes in life.

lovedejj_xo · Answer

Once by someone in my friend group she got a boyfriend and befriended all of us, we hated her boyfriend for obvious reasons he was controlling. And now she doesn’t talk to us known her since I was 12 so I was pretty hurt …. found out she got married and literally lives in a random place with her husband and talks to none of her friends or family lol. she's always the first to look at my Snapchat post.

LordOfThePines · Answer

Yeah, once. I was friends with a girl many years ago for like two years. We made arrangements to go to a convention. But yeah long story short, she ducked me after I paid for her ticket, made me not want to be there so I wasted money on not only her ticket but my own and my hotel. Then she even lied to her friends saying I threatened her, when I would never have done that. That hurt so bad. But I just surrounded myself with friends I could actually rely on and got me through it.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Had a couple of drinks and wallowed for a good hour. Then deleted any pictures they sent and their number

GingerGuy · Answer

Yes. Recovered in time. That and reminding myself what that says about them. Immature, disrespectful and selfish. Not someone I want in my life anyway.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Nope. Never been ghosted. The thing is. I never pressure anyone into wanting to speak to me. It's all a matter of choice. I respect choices people make..
Without pressure there is no reason to disappear.

Apulu_3 · Answer

Yes I was ghosted by my ex best friend. But now I know her real colors. So it didn't hurted that much. Currently I'm being ghosted by my cousin brother because I played a prank on him. Well I hope he forgives me.

Better_off_here · Answer

oh i sure have i hated it and it hurt like hell :(
i guess i moved on in time, i mean i can not make anyone talk to me.
i have been blocked a few times and that hurt too but i guess they were not mature enough to talk to me about it. and that is a shame.

Cathy7734 · Answer

I was ghosted by someone I thought was close to me. It really hurt. The way I healed was I cried a lot and ate lots of ice cream. I then wrote about it in my journal.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, what hurts is I cried all the time over them, but since Aug 2011 the last email I got from Sarra I've learned to go on with life and it took a long time to recover see I have an issue where the girl starts to be clingy

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I don’t know if i have been ghosted or not but if I have, it would certainly be my fault cause sometimes I was too insensitive and unintentionally caused pain to people.

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

Yup, time heals all wounds. It’s not the easiest path but it’s the best path. It hurts but it just shows how much of a strong person you are compared to them.

anonbrunette99 · Answer

I just learned to move on and be thankful for the times we had, they came back though after over a year, I just remained optimistic about it all

hhadeshatesme · Answer

Probably but people come and go so I don’t really take those things to heart so can’t really remember a specific time.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

Yeah, but I didn't have very high hopes for her anyway. Gal was kind of a brainlet. I felt sorry for her, more than anything.

Buntyp · Answer

It's just like, oh well, so much for that--bye bye, then.  It can cause a few heart twinges but it's definitely not something to dwell on.

exitseven · Answer

No, when I had friends ghosting wasn't even a thing. I have had people who I considered friends just suddenly blow me off for no apparent reason. It made me sad but I figure it is their loss.

Mark987 · Answer

Once.. I was on match. com over a decade ago.. and we hit it off really well for a few months talking... we were supposed to meet up and she ghosted me... I got over it fast, I wasn't involved emotionally

Waldoe · Answer

I grew up as am "Army Brat" my father was a carreer Army Officer, so every 2 or 4 years, we moved to another "Duty Station" so getting ghosted was a way of life... and ghosting was too.. when you are told to move... you move.

Anonymous · Answer

blocked them and moved on. No use in crying over spilt milk and life goes on. I know it’s easier said than done but if you read books, go out and have some fun with friends/family, focus on on your mental health (meditation), come up with a beauty regimen and exercise you will eventually realize that whoever left your life was a gift it allows you to find yourself and let others in which may be actually worthwhile.

melanieeeB · Answer

Yeah and with time you learn that the person was shit lol

Anonymous · Answer

I have, it sucks but you’ll get over it. My closest friend for the last year did it too me before Christmas, she never wished me a happy Christmas and ignored my messages. She ignored until a week afterwards. We talked for a while this year but I feel we have now drifted apart and we don’t speak much now. Some people just aren’t meant too be in your life and you gotta just move on.

RebeccaBI2000 · Answer

I have. I just block them on everything and go out. If they really have a good reason, they will figure out how to communicate to me

the29thhuman · Answer

I didn’t know there was a recovery process for people to cope with being ghosted.  I’m not being insensitive, genuinely don’t see a need for this grieving lol

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

Aww, no what happened? Hard to tell you how to recover without the details I've never been ghosted. It's usually we have a disagreement and stop talking to each other.

ChiTownLov · Answer

I kind of did that to an ex. Just after dating 3 weeks, she started talking about moving in together and getting married. She had 3 kids and was in the national guard while selling otc drugs on the side. Hell no! Not into that.

sheikalana · Answer

Yup, I've been ghosted and ghosted before. Well, time heals everything.

Somoneelse · Answer

I had. It is hard, but I was able to move on after some months.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

It’s happened. I got over it with help from friends.

MLGbreezy · Answer

Yeah and it sucks when you find out that you were probably just a quick going or side piece or someone to just use when it convenient.

_Damien · Answer

You just have to convince yourself that some people are just selfish. It doesn't say anything about you as a person, it's them being dicks.

PeterCharlie1991 · Answer

Yea my ex girlfriend 😭 but in all honesty I deserved it but still hurt 😭

Luopio27 · Answer

I left facebook without saying by to hundreds of people. I have changed my number to avoid a toxic friend.

Hadyyy · Answer

I ghost them in everything else. I just looked at myself in the mirror and told myself that they don't deserve you in anyway so let them go they're not worth it at all

humanearth · Answer

Yes, I've done it to someone I was close to

flowersarenice · Answer

Yes It's currently happening right now :( Still feel very sad, I hope the feeling goes away with time

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, for 4 years because her boyfriend at the time... I still have insecurities about getting too close to her again

Anonymous · Answer

Sure. You can't change how other people feel and react, so it's a waste of time to try.

Have you ever been ghosted by someone you thought was close to you?

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