Is your partner entitled to decide who you hang out with?

Question

nonratracereality · Accepted Answer

In order for the proper decision to be made both parties most be either on the same, must or are actually real intelligent, mature and responsible people that said what you are able to bring to the table is that which you can disclose which would've all been settled at the beginning so that if there is a discrepancy or an insecurity factor involved it would've been settled immediately without thought or prejudice. No pun or malice intended but if you're asking then you can't fully be yourself because what has been a part of your life is now either questioned or being threatened by. You have to decide how far it goes because once it starts with one that opens the door to a second third etc. You both are in this union equal lives thoughts actions sounds hard that's why you hang with your best friend. But overall if you proceed you must dictate to yourself following this path that what is the boundary that once crossed you have to separate. But if you are able to develop your standards high then only those who are in the right page will be in your confines. It can get lonely but here's this and I've been in professions involving most walks of life understand human behavior. Mannerisms idiosyncrasies and intellect without basic actions applied you'll be in error the majority of the time. Starts with attitude then magnifies into issues creating drama and ends up bring rerun shit. It works and if you want a couple if extra tools of life astrology and numerology. Its worked for me for over 54 years batting 1000.

DirTdreamer · Accepted Answer

Only the CONTROLLING sort, would believe in their own minds, that they’re entitled to decide who you hang out with.
But there’s another aspect to consider:
if I have a female friend who I’m attracted to and am probably too flirtatious with, and my wife says that she’s not comfortable with me hanging out with the female friend… that’s not my wife thinking she’s entitled to decide who I hang out with. That’s me being inappropriate, and my wife letting me know she’s not comfortable with it.
If my wife feels that she doesn’t want me hangin’ out with some dude-friend?… is it because she thinks he’s a bad influence? Is it because she thinks he’s just using me in some way?
Or, is it control? Does she have a problem with me hanging out with EVERYONE? That’s someone who’s just being controlling.
If that’s the case, she’s wrong and getting kicked to the curb.
If it’s one particular person your S. O. has a problem with you texting or hanging out with… there’s a reason. Is it because you seem attracted to that person? Or is that one person bad for you, in your Partner’s opinion?
My wife would be happy if I’d leave her alone for a bit and go hang out with friends more.

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

In short: no. You are your own person they can't control you.

The complicated answer: some friends ARE toxic to the relationship, some friends have train wreck lifestyles, some 'friends' are more headache than they are worth. When you merge lives/friend circles, as a couple you ultimately consciously or subconsciously decide who your joint friends are, and who fall into more gals night/ bro night friends.

Your partner is allowed to decide that they don't want to hang out as a couple with your bro friend at same frequency that you do, just as you are allowed to opt out of hanging around with her high maintenance friend.

Often times its not your friend that the person disapproves of, but often the problematic lifestyle fallout of hanging out with them. Have a friend who wants to hang out every week at the strip club until 3am? Yeah. That's not just a friend choice, that's a lifestyle choice. You are choosing to be tired and hungover for your partner every day after you go out. If it was a friend choice, you could still see them, get food/ drinks but maybe still be back by 10pm, fully capable of being attentive to your partner the next day

hhadeshatesme · Accepted Answer

No that’s controlling asf. They should feel comfortable enough with me to voice their concerns about people i surround myself with but they don’t have the right to tell me who I can and can’t hangout with. I’m picky with my friends so the ones that I do have I care dearly for and consider them family so if my partner just didn’t like them for the fuck of it that would be a problem. I also don’t just start up a romantic relationship with anyone out of thin air. I take relationships seriously so I wouldn’t fuck it up and make them look stupid. If they feel our relationship is threatened by a friend and reassurance, trust we should already have, and a mature talk about the situation can’t bring us to mutual ground and the bitterness, jealousy, or insecurity gets the better of them then we shouldn’t be together.

Genie23 · Answer

I don't believe so. I think I'm an adult. I can decide for myself who I should hangout with and who I shouldn't hangout with. I'll let my partner give his opinion, but I won't let him decide what to do, just like I'll never impose my thoughts on him and I'll never decide what's right for him.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

No, absolutely not! My partner is entitled to decide wheter she likes just as I am but she is not entitled to change me. If she doesn't like what she sees, she can keep on moving down the street.

hahahmm · Answer

A lot of you have the wrong idea about relationships. If you're in a real relationship then you should be part of a team. Imagine if somebody on one sports team whined about how the other players didn't want him going to practice with an opposing team & to start hanging out with the other team all the time and tell them all the business of his own team. He'd get fired real quick. But the reason you don't get it is that you've never really been on a team. You just had some trappings/symbols of a real relationship without the depth. When you're really 'there' you both want to protect what you have & work together to avoid stuff that could mess up your relationship.

There's some room for leeway but it DEPENDS on the boundaries of you & your partner.. and on everybody's intentions too. One mistake could have major consequences.

VanillaSalt · Answer

No however… your expected to keep the peace and if you didn’t like him hanging it with a girl who’s particularly skanky then he should accept that and stay away as it works the other way around… you don’t control your partner, your partner controls himself for you.

That’s the sacrifice of two prone coming together. The relationship takes precedent over your individual wants. It’s up to your partner to fill your wants and you theirs.

If there’s something unfulfilled then is up to the two of you to decide if it’s deal breaking.

Finchie40 · Answer

not decide but If your partner doesn’t like some of your friends or a friend , ask him why he doesn’t , like them , if he says he doesn't trust them or they have a bad reputation or they are toxic etc.. you should honestly side with your partner and stand by his side , sometimes friends can be toxic to your relationship without you even knowing it so sometimes it’s best to push those friends off and focus on your relationship, Now if your boyfriend is not allowing you to have any friends then that is abuse and you need to dump his ass , but when it comes to relationships you always should put your partner first and sit down with them and talk it out before just making a decision that you feel is I harm

MariZra · Answer

My fiance definitely does have that kind of decision. Not because he is possessive or jealous. He trust me blindly but still I can't go out with Male friends. He is Moroccan and they are raised that way to protect what is his. Can be car, girl, kids, wife, sister, mather
.. all in general. I'm deferent nationally and have completely deferent opinion. But as I love him I respect whenever he doesn't want me to go out with my Male friends. I have only one Female friend and go out with her only or we go out together with my fiance. Now.. we can call it control, possesivines or however but we are deferent religion so for sure there is deferent way of thinking and doing or saying things. What's matter is understanding each other regardless references. We have so many arguments but we love each other and we go to fix anything by talking.

Guy13 · Answer

🤔… To some degree, you know.
-I’ve got my favorite elder work friends who can flip a 25 year old like nobody’s Business. It’s fun going to the Circus as Grandpas’ Wingman feeding on the Big Losers leftovers. That’s not so major as some other people that I hang out with as I recall. 🤷🏻‍♂️
-suppose share schedules and all that 💩 too, right ❓
-Sometimes your woman might have a better intuition about person (s) you do Business with…🤷🏻‍♂️ Not likely though‼️, MYOB.

Who knows until that moment 🤷🏻‍♂️❓🤷🏻‍♂️

Starlamay85 · Answer

Well that depends on how you want to live your life. You want to live your life being told where you can go and what you can do then yes they can. If you want to be you and enjoy life then hell no, you should be able to hang out with whonu want to and have your own friend separate from one another. Don't give up on a friend just because it makes your partner insecure, insecureties in a relationship will just keep getting worse. It don't matter what you do, even if you stop talking to the one guy or girl them problems are still gonna be their.

Valso · Answer

No! That's called "possession". He/she is allowed to attempt that three times only. No 4th time bc there's no relationship of any kind for the 4th time to happen, LOL I had a relationship with such a woman long ago - that was the shortest relationship I ever had: just a week. I put up with her attempts for a day or two, on the next day I told her not to call me anymore bc I wasn't her ex-sorry-excuse-of-a-husband who probably loved being controlled by her.
I never behave possessively with my partners bc I value the personal freedom more than anything else and I expect the same from them. If they can't keep up with that requirement - dosvidanya, as Alex Danvers would put it. :)

kmg9150 · Answer

Dictate no, opinion of why they dont want you to hang with them, sure. Then it should be weighted if they have a valid reason for concern. If you give no thoughts to their concern, you might as well not be in a relationship. Relationships take consideration of how our choice will affect the party (s).

England4eva · Answer

At first I was going to say No. Then I reinterpreted it and changed it to yes. So, yes he does. The reason? I would choose a guy who is good to me and has my best interests at heart.

Otherwise I’d leave him and move on. But if I loved and trusted him, I would also trust his intentions and character. Going on the basis that I communicate and believe in the guy I’m with, I’d definitely be influenced by his thoughts.

HighValue · Answer

My rules are:
1. No new opposite gender friends once in a relationship.
2. No touchy feely cuddling bs with friends because that is inappropriate.
3. No friendships with people that have tried to screw over me or my SO.
4. No liberals/democrats allowed in the house.
5. No being friends with people that use recreational drugs.
6. No friendships or contact with any ex.

Those rules apply to me and the girl in a relationship.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

No. And frankly it's not something I tolerate either. Now, if one of my friends is making my partner very uncomfortable then I'll look in to it and decide if it's a friend worth keeping around.

He has his girl friends, I have my guy friends, and we respect each other's individual spaces and function very well with it

Andres77 · Answer

People only have power over you if you give it to them.
That simple.
Allowed? By who?
Are you dominating your partner?
That's not love.
That's fear and attempts to control because of fear... not love.
Maybe you both need to develop a little more before you're ready for a relationship.

thatpiyush · Answer

It actually depends on how involved you guys are into each other. If one is getting jealous that is good but he/she shouldn't TELL you with whom you can hangout they can ask you for sure and in return of that you can also try to take a step forward and try a bit harder to understand why are they jealous or uncomfortable with you hanging out with that person of that group if they have any considerable point of view it's your job to clear things up but if it's just toxicity then let him/her know that's not how it works.

ohshee · Answer

We all know in any relationship there's going to be somebody that the girl doesn't like and there's going to be something or somebody that he doesn't like and that's just that crap LOL it's nice when everybody likes everybody and her friends can become his friends and vice versa but we all know it doesn't work that way then there has to be a compromise

virtue2332 · Answer

If your in a serious relationship they are entitled to voice there opinions and be heard with an open mind. I've only been told not to hang out with one person and she didn't like him because he was making unwanted advances and say weird shit when I wasn't around. She didn't give me all the details right away because she knew I would probably have reacted in a way that would have ended with someone hurt and someone losing their freedom.

Cherry234 · Answer

It depends. If you have a friend of the opposite gender you're spending too much time with then it could cause problems for your relationship. You have to set boundaries in a relationship and both parties should respect them.

petitedollbabee · Answer

No, they’re you partner whom you share your life with. You’re not their slave and you should be free to see whoever you like, if your partner is controlling who you see then they’re toxic AF.

HighlyVolatile · Answer

She's not, and I am not entitled to decide that for her. My wife and I are both free-spirited types of people who would feel far too confined in a relationship built around rules. Instead, we built ours around trust.

GlassTop · Answer

I don’t want to be cheated on. So if I feel uncomfortable with you hanging out with guys or your single female friends who do nothing but club/smoke/drink/sleep around, I think it’s acceptable that your partner wouldn’t be happy to see you hang out with people they aren’t comfortable with. If you feel it’s wrong, then just leave them. You aren’t ready for a true relationship.

DarkCarousel · Answer

I don’t know if “entitled” is the word of choice for me. If my partner was uncomfortable with someone, I’d hope we’d be able to talk openly about it with each other.

clouuuud · Answer

No, You are your own person. You partner shouldn't decide about that. Opinions are valid about your friends if your partner just wanted to protect you. Sometimes they know what's best for you. Depends on the situation.

NathanDavis · Answer

they never tried that... and if they had tried it, I would have made it clear that just no... it's not up to them to dictate my life to this extreme point... lol

AviatorTom · Answer

No, she can voice her opinion, and I may pay attention to it, but I hang out with whomever I wish. Same thing in reverse. I don't tell her who she can hang out with.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

You already know miss chikky that i'm a dominant man and no one can decide who i can or can't walk with but if i was married, my wife can surely give her opinion about someone whom she doesn't like and the reasons on why she doesn't like them and if i see that she's right, i'll make her wish come true, in the end of the day my wife will always be my 1st priority and i won't make her sad for anyone but at the same time ofc she can't tell me to dump someone who is good and have never hurt us!

TheBigWhistle · Answer

Isn't it suspect that millions of U. S. soldiers returned from World War 1, millions of them. And yet not a single one is still alive today to talk about what they saw. Are they being killed by the government just to shut them up?

Anonymous · Answer

When I was married I had a beautiful house next to the lake and the fucking cunt was always on the fucking phone with her loser retarded New York friends it cost her our marriage I always hated being second fiddle to our relationship even though I gave her a house a baby ball pounding sex every night I told her get that from your friends what they're not big enough well in that case then shut the fuk up!

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Been there done that when he thinks he can decide who my friends are, it is just a way to cut them out of my life until I'm isolated and only have him. As such, nope... never again!

ARWINGx1 · Answer

Nope, I consider that "controlling". Which can (Make or) *break* a potential relationship. (Note, Emphasis on the "entitled" word)

Mediterraneansoul · Answer

Yes. If you're gonna be amongst other men and alcohol is involved or he knows you can't control your attention seeking tendencies nor they can be respectable of him being your partner. There is a difference between being committed to someone and single

Agape93 · Answer

No, that is MY choice to make. That is not their place.  The second they think they can decide who I spend time with or how, or why, they'll be thrown out of my life.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

No. Never. Ever. Try to control your partner.  If you can't trust them; either dump them or work on yourself (both?), wherever the issue lies.  There got to be trust. Otherwise you'll get paranoid.

Gorge95 · Answer

If you’re a minor =That’s you’re parent’s job
If you’re an adult= why the heck is there someone dictating who you should hang out with?

Short answer =No, you have agency outside the relationship.

dustybiker · Answer

When two people have trust and communication things like this never are a problem.

Srij23 · Answer

You have to manipulate your partner into thinking that you are the one and you are not going anywhere. The main reason is insecurity and that's baselesss but it's there.
Alternative you start eating his head 😂😂 and he will happily drop you off with who ever you want to hang out with..

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Nope not at all. only exception would be if who they are hanging out with directly impacts the relationship or it’s someone doing illegal stuff.

rahmann · Answer

That's just a straight controlling and as a man i refuse to be controlled. Definitely not gonna last that relationship

Tweetybirdii · Answer

They should not dictate, but if your partner feels uncomfortable with your relations you have with a friend and there is a good reason you should definitely consider which is more important to you.

Lonewulf57 · Answer

Absolutely not. But by the same token, if she decides to hang out with someone I don't like and expects me to be there at the same time, then she's in for a very rude awakening. Likewise in reverse.

Abc12356 · Answer

No they're not entitled but they can give me their opinion

letssee89 · Answer

Absolutely not. That kind of controlling behavior would be one of the biggest deal breakers imaginable.

jshm2 · Answer

Depends. As a husband/wife - yes. Boyfriend/girlfriend - no. The reason is simply that in the latter case there is no legal or financial commitment by either party.

exitseven · Answer

Yes if you are hanging out with old girlfriends or people that are criminals. Or worse, if you are hanging out with liberals.

AndrésC64 · Answer

No except for very rare extreme circumstances. My fiancé at the time tried to tell me that I couldn't see my best friend. I told her that she can give me the ring back.

annabananna · Answer

Only in extreme cases. Like are you letting robbers in y’all’s home to hang out or bringing danger in their life? If so than I understand that but if it’s just someone that they have a personality conflict with than no.

JoyGirl · Answer

No, but I do like to consider his feelings, when he feels somehow about someone.

douride2 · Answer

I wouldn't think he could decide who I hang out with.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Only in certain situations where the friend is doing stuff they shouldn’t be and it’s a problem for you, your partner or the relationship. Or something along those lines.

weysally · Answer

only the couple can say about this, I can be with who I like, but in sex I have my husbands approval and likewise with him

clampfan101 · Answer

No. We support each other, not limit each other.
We are entitled and encouraged to help each other, so we must speak up if we suspect bad influence, but we are still not each other’s parents. We are each other’s partners.

Toast792 · Answer

Nope! It's ok to be concerned and try to step in if they hang around shady people, but other then that kind of situation, not really...

Tiptoetamm · Answer

No I don't think so, I wouldn't ever tell my man he couldn't hand out with someone and I hope he's do the same

Adam1978 · Answer

No for old contacts, they can certainly influence what new contacts.

Siren777 · Answer

No not at all. No man alive can tell me what to do.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

No, but I like my partner to feel like I respect her opinion on the issue. I'll ask my partner for her blessing for me to go certain parties and such.

lightbulb27 · Answer

yes. you have to protect the emotional relationship.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

No but they have a right to be concerned if the outside party is shady, dramatic, or always in trouble of some kind.

sunflower00 · Answer

Absolutely not, they can voice their concerns but not decide who I can hang out with

wankiam · Answer

they are entitled to have an opinion but not to dictate to you who you can and can't hang out with

Is your partner entitled to decide who you hang out with?

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