I often find myself getting angry and blaming modern women for lots of unfair crap over the years. Being a hetero man I can say without a doubt I’ve had more harm done to me than I’ve done to others.
However when I am brutally honest with myself I’ve known I wasn’t always the good guy. In those particular scenarios what only mattered is how the girl felt with her interactions with me. My negative experiences with other women doesn’t justify how I treat someone else. I think too many people self justify mistreating other people because other bad experiences they have personally had. That is a very wrong and selfish way to go about life. It only perpetuates more problems.
So si admit I have done the following:
- Played dumb and long term friéndzoned a girl
back in HS and another in college. I could of spoke up but I didn’t. However after age 25 and definitely age 30 I was more honest with women in these scenarios.
- Played dumb and f zoned at least 3 women in my 20s. They slept with me thinking they would get into a relationship. I never intentionally lead on or lied about wanting a relationship. However I did play dumb about what they really wanted vs what I wanted (which was just friends with benefits) . However after 30 I was honest with two women I didn’t want a relationship. They both stopped sleeping with me but I knew being honest was the right thing to do.
- I once forced myself to get into a relationship with a girl I wasn’t physically attracted to. I tried hard to look deeper at her heart and personality. I also just wanted companionship
with her. So this ended with devastating heartbreak for the girl. I only did it once in my life but I’ll never put someone through that again.
- I only ghosted one girl in my life. We only dated for a few weeks but she was looking for a “savior” and a safety net. I hate that dynamic but still I should of given her closure.
So there are my confessions above.
However when I am brutally honest with myself I’ve known I wasn’t always the good guy. In those particular scenarios what only mattered is how the girl felt with her interactions with me. My negative experiences with other women doesn’t justify how I treat someone else. I think too many people self justify mistreating other people because other bad experiences they have personally had. That is a very wrong and selfish way to go about life. It only perpetuates more problems.
So si admit I have done the following:
- Played dumb and long term friéndzoned a girl
back in HS and another in college. I could of spoke up but I didn’t. However after age 25 and definitely age 30 I was more honest with women in these scenarios.
- Played dumb and f zoned at least 3 women in my 20s. They slept with me thinking they would get into a relationship. I never intentionally lead on or lied about wanting a relationship. However I did play dumb about what they really wanted vs what I wanted (which was just friends with benefits) . However after 30 I was honest with two women I didn’t want a relationship. They both stopped sleeping with me but I knew being honest was the right thing to do.
- I once forced myself to get into a relationship with a girl I wasn’t physically attracted to. I tried hard to look deeper at her heart and personality. I also just wanted companionship
with her. So this ended with devastating heartbreak for the girl. I only did it once in my life but I’ll never put someone through that again.
- I only ghosted one girl in my life. We only dated for a few weeks but she was looking for a “savior” and a safety net. I hate that dynamic but still I should of given her closure.
So there are my confessions above.
Updates
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Oh a few others:
- I cheated on my first girlfriend at 16. Even back then my testosterone saturated brain knew it was wrong. I made a vow to never do it again and I kept it.
- I acted flirty with women while I was in a relationship. This included looking at other girls when my girlfriend was around. My then girlfriend didn’t complain but I knew it was wrong and I regretted it. Never acted that way again in future relationships.
- I cheated on my first girlfriend at 16. Even back then my testosterone saturated brain knew it was wrong. I made a vow to never do it again and I kept it.
- I acted flirty with women while I was in a relationship. This included looking at other girls when my girlfriend was around. My then girlfriend didn’t complain but I knew it was wrong and I regretted it. Never acted that way again in future relationships.
Updates
+1 y
- Also I know I’ve made women uncomfortable with creepy and/or sexual inappropriate comments/jokes before. I also have smacked a girls butt once or twice at a party/club trying to joke around.
I was trying to be fun/flirty in these scenarios. I would never in my life would REALLY cross the line. But it was badly timed and I regret that. I try to pay more attention to woman’s body language nowadays before doing something like that. Definitely zero touching.
I was trying to be fun/flirty in these scenarios. I would never in my life would REALLY cross the line. But it was badly timed and I regret that. I try to pay more attention to woman’s body language nowadays before doing something like that. Definitely zero touching.
