What are the mistakes you made in the past relationship?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I do realize a lot of my mistakes from this perspective. I did know I was making mistakes at that time too, but for some reason I didn’t think I deserved love any less, so I didn’t try to change. Because I was loved anyway.

Now, however, I see my part in the ruin of my relationship and even though it hurts, I do realize, I too, was wrong and I must have tried to be my perfect and the best self instead of thinking I deserved to be loved the way I was. I guess, I got too comfortable in my past relationship, I thought it would last forever, I got dependent on my then-partner and lost something that he fell in love for me in the first place.

There are a lot of things I would and will do in a different way in a next relationship:

1. I will never again lose my independence and will try to be the strong and dependable partner for my future partner.

2. I will be a bit more flexible to changes and will not try to control everything around me.

3. I will put myself first, because all the bad things that happen, happen because you forget putting yourself first and in the end, it ruins you, the person who your partner loved, and when you are ruined, the love they had for you fades time by time.

4. I will try to be more positive and less sensitive. I will try to see the best things in life and take control of my own happiness.

5. I will try to be less selfish. I indeed believed I was selfless, but my selflessness was the result of my love, which is quite selfish emotion sometimes. So I will try to be less selfish.

6. I will try to be less dramatic, because I was a drama queen.

7. I will be less jealous. Because whatever happens happens, I already experienced the biggest heartbreak of my love life, I guess I am a but more immune to the upcoming ones.

8. I will enjoy and appreciate every moment and try not to take it for granted, because everything ends in the end. Nothing loves forever, that’s a truth. Whether happy or sad, we should always remember, this too, shall pass.

Updates

+1 y

What comforts me the most when I see my mistakes so clearly is that I realize, one part is never the only one that is wrong and it takes two people to build or break. And maybe I made mistakes, maybe too many of them, but I know one thing, I loved and I loved a lot and everything I did or didn’t do, was the result of my love. He was my everything.

and here comes the next mistake I will never repeat,



9. I will never give another person the burden of being my “everything” anymore.

[Sunssong]

@lafemmefatale_1 I found that all relationship problems stem from a lack of a joint vision with your partner or being out of harmony with that vision. Go look at peoples mistakes and you'll see it is very true.

Same with a solo life vision. If you are out of harmony with it that is a mistake and will bred more mistakes. Put the vision first and remember U are part of the vision. If you dont have yourself you dont have the vision. But I think u already said that didn't you?

Sounds like you have a bit of a relationship vision forming. At least the part you want to play in it anyway.

the Bible says without a vision the people shall perish.

"Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." (Proverbs)

by the way creating the vision is the easy part. People set new goals every New Year... And never accomplish them. Goal are not about doing, they are about becoming someone renewed. You can't bring the old you into a new reality. You create reality so you cannot change reality unless u change yourself first.

[Anonymous]

Some mistakes I've made in past relationships:

• Becoming unfocused on friends & work because I wanted to spend all my time with my ex.. I fell so behind with work & missed out on memories and friendships because any and all free time I had was spent with my ex
• Thinking my feelings weren't valid when we'd have arguments - Honestly never understood or knew what gaslighting was until my last relationship so now I will never second-guess my feelings.
• Take care of then/mother them. I realized that my past relationships, I was always the person taking care of them and putting aside my own needs. By this I mean, letting them borrow my car or helping pay for bills. Stupid right?

There's so much more but those were definitely the top 3 that stood out to me. My last relationship was about 4 years ago & I never thought I'd be in the happy place that I am now. I remember how much of a HOT MESS I was when my ex broke up with me and I look back at it & I'm actually a little embarrassed with how I reacted but I am sooo much happier now. I'm dating and just living up my single 20's and I'm having so much fun now.

[ohsheeT]

We'll see I would not regret anything you've done for the mere reason look what you have learned that is priceless even though you say you might have known it or you know that you were doing wrong it doesn't matter because you didn't deal with it then but now you have to deal with it and now is the perfect time to go with it before you get into another relationship so I apologize for that the second thing is is when your new relationship starts it starts that day not from your past you do not need to reveal anything about your past that you don't want to be thrown back in your face one day because that seems to be the way the world is nowadays and it really sucks that there are immature people and they will dig up anything and everything from your past that you tell them just to slap you in the face with it and make themselves look good so remember the day that you start a relationship is the day that you start a relationship the past is the past Let It Go

[exitseven]

I dated somebody that I really loved. It was a pretty intense relationship. I was dealing with a lot in my life and I let all the crappy that was my life spill over to this relationship. She must have gotten sick of all the negativity and she dumped me. I was devastated but over the years I realize that maybe I could have been a little more positive.

[SunnyRS]

There were a few mistakes I made but the biggest one was getting in the relationship too early with her.
She wasn't over her ex and it wasn't the right time to accept her proposal to be in a relationship, I should have given her time.

As for you it's great you realize your mistakes it takes a lot of courage to do that, this will make your future relationships better.

[Andres77]

These are good life lessons.
I’m so old at this point that I’m not changing for anyone. I’d rather be alone.

[mobiusforniner]

My mistake was that I reciprocated. I reconnected with a friend and there was no malintent initially. But she began having feelings. I did too. I kept convincing myself we were just friends, but we ended up having an affair.

[Motiv8edMan248]

Being the Dom to her instead of the other way around. I was specifically told that.

[RingOfFire]

I can sum up the mistakes I've made in my past relationships in three words:

Getting into them.

[megabamse]

Being jealous in my teens, that's won't work for anyone being jealous

[TheMadLad]

Being with someone who doesn’t like me.

[CALIGVLA]

Dating some pathetic white women.

[magiusX26]

bothering to even attempt/try for a relationship

[msc545]

Starting it was a huge mistake.

[Anonymous]

Thinking someone can change.

[Sunssong]

People can alter their conditioning but if you aren't aware of how, it is nearly impossible. Certainly trying to change anyone else is impossible. You can motivate them but only they can do the work.

[Anonymous]

Thinking a woman could actually love me😂

[Anonymous]

not being myself.. I was boring

[Sunssong]

Sometimes we want to be loved even if it cost us ourselves...