"Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that often occurs in abusive relationships. It is a covert type of emotional abuse where the bully or abuser misleads the target, creating a false narrative and making them question their judgments and reality. Ultimately, the victim of gaslighting starts to feel unsure about their perceptions of the world and even wonder if they are losing their sanity."
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For more information about Gaslighting:https://www. insider. com/gaslighting-examples
I had an ex who did that to me all the time. She'd shit-test me all the time like asking me what I'd do if she wanted to become a stripper, and I'd tell her that I'd be very disappointed but that's her own choice. Then she'd cry and say I don't love her because if I did, I'd forbid her from doing it. Then she'd run away and not talk to me for hours.
I'd always find myself apologizing to her for things I didn't do wrong, at least from my perspective. She had a way to just break down all the time and make it seem like I did something wrong. I got fooled into thinking I did; she was very persuasive (I was wet behind the ears and in my early 20s).
I still managed to fall for her enough to get engaged to be married. I got to feeling like I'm the only one who can protect her from this world. She had this way where she made me feel like I'm the only one who can do that for her while simultaneously making me feel like everything I did was wrong.
She was diagnosed as bipolar but after studying further on the subject, I think she might have been a genuine narcissist: not the vernacular one who is vain and egotistical but the one who blames everything else even for things they did wrong.
From what I read the first think that’s came to my mind was borderline which can be misdiagnosed as bipolar. Not that I’m qualified or at all know her enough to know that. It was just what popped up in my head.
@annabananna I have to look into that. Some of the symptoms seem to be correct there. Her mood swings were sudden and quite out of the blue, for example. She also did this thing where she'd hit herself in the head with her hand when she was upset making me have to stop her to protect her from herself which is maybe a type of self-harm although she wasn't the type to cut herself or anything like that.
Yea, bordeline and Bipolar both have mood swings but with borderline it can switch in just a minute and different exteme moods in one given day where with bipolar they have longer periods or depression or mania that can last months.
Yeah one of my exes tried that shit, at first it worked cause I'm wasn't sure: 'Did I really say that?' 'Did I really do that?' 'Did I really agree to that?' 'Did she really not say any of these things?' But then I started taking screenshots of conversations or recording arguments. And I stopped doubting myself. Ended shortly after that. But yeah its something that you really don't usually expect so it kinda takes you off guard.
I’m not sure because gaslighting is supposed to be something someone does on purpose to make the person think they’re crazy. A lot of times people have different memories or perceptions and get accused of gaslighting for genuinely remembering things differently than the other person. I had a roommate that would say stuff a lot and I would be like you never said that or you said this and she would disagree or she would say things that made me question my own reality and think am I crazy? Like I used one of my bowls to give the dog water and she said it was her bowl and not to use it for the dog. I was like…. Am I going crazy? I’m pretty sure this is my bowl lol
Yes, I think so, maybe. It’s damn hard to see clear while in the midst of the confusion. I think he’s gaslighting me because he controls, When I talk on the phone, ask to go out alone, have friends, see family I get the silent treatment. The list goes on and on. He doesn’t express his opinion right away he waits till I’m having a good day. He has reasons why I’m not allowed to have friends, go out etc. 18 years tougher messes with you rational thoughts.
You need to end this if he doesn't change life is too short I just got out of a relationship like this myself I was getting blamed for cheating and texting but no proof of it so I wasn't allowed to go out if I did I had time limits or not come back I caught her out in lies multiple times but it was still my fault she came home one new year's day with Hickeys all over her but I was a narcissist for asking about it because supposedly a girl did it so it's ok it wasn't cheating I had no right to an opinion or say on anything so I ask why am I here she was a two-faced twisted compulsive liar and a heartless person that lied from day one of our relationship so if you are not happy sit-down and talk about how you feel if you still can't get anywhere just walk out and end it in the long run it will be worth it
Yes, and when you think about it, its a form of lying. Its telling people something that isn't true in hopes of altering their feelings or perceptions. I believe women are better at this than men because it stems from personal insecurity, which I feel plagues women more than men. Had a girlfriend who would develop many reasons for her actions or behaviors. She wanted to keep me in a "box" by manipulating my feelings and controlling my responses in return. It ensured I stayed where I was at. As time went on, it became so incredibly confusing and she began contradicting herself. I finally understood what she was doing and ended that relationship.
Thank you I learned something today. No I haven't.. I have never heard of it before. Its neve has happen to me either a d if someone want to waste there time and my time And if they ever tried it would be good luck because there would have to be something else going on make them even try that but I would just walk away I would laugh and I'll probably never see that person again And if I was around somebody that even played bull shit like that and if they were doing it to a friend I would definitely call them on it for sure Has this happened to you before It seems like it's pretty messed up
Yes. I had an ex that was a complete asshole to me and he used to say really fucked up shit about me. When I would bring it up he would say shit like “I never said that, I don’t know what you’re talking about. That’s fucked up, I would never say that” like bro I literally heard you say it.
I was also friends with someone recently who would gaslight me too. He was a pathological liar. He would try to convince me that I said certain things that I never said. Even when I denied he’d keep saying “yes you did, you said it. I remember” im so glad I finally ended that friendship lol. Dude was a weirdo
My ex did that to me after 2 years of being with him its horrible fked my head up totaly i a was badly emotionaly abused and blamed for every single that went wrong cause he couldnt face the truth that he was wrong to begin with pussy
I'm 2 months with no contact with this lady I was absolutely in love with and probably still am. Life is better but the questions I have? I know I need more time. I'm having trust issues with some people that don't even make sense why I would even care. I having my own trust issues and finding confidence besides working and doing my job. I'm a big believer in karma and I believe it has come back around.
Yes, surprisingly. My ex wife was a malignant narcissist. They could have done an episode of “who the bleep did I marry” about me. She was so crafty and so deceptive she fooled me and I ain’t no dummy.
Forgot to mention the person I married who fully pretended to be one way and kept up the act all through our time of dating literally morphed into a different person the minuet we got married. It’s like the person I dated and the one I married were very literally two different people. Never seen anything like it before or since.
Yes. Many women on this site try to do it to guys I have noticed. They'll post the most vile things about men and then when guys respond in their defense the women will try to blame them and make them feel guilty for an offense they never even committed.
Oh, yes - my nasty fosterparents (transgenders on top of it) keep trying to convince me I am a misfit, a crazy - then they go quiet when I ask them to do a DNA test. Morons be morons.
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