How would you feel about your spouse having opposite-sex friends that are more attractive than you?

Question

I ask because I overheard some women discussing how they would not allow their man's friendship to continue if he had a female model as a friend. Photo by "Scott Broome" on Unsplash

EmbraceThePain · Accepted Answer

People say one thing, but from my experience this never works out in real life.

It’s nice to type stuff online, because it looks good.

But in reality, just imagine how this works out.

Humans are biological creatures with a patterned history.

Trying to make things work for one reason when they shouldn’t never works out well.

Hence, “friends” being just “friends.”

Great on paper, poor in reality.

It’s like balancing a ball on a needle

You can formulate all types of equations on paper to make this true

But try doing this in reality.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

I never really thought about it this way... but now that I think about it, this could have been the case with a few of them before, and well... it didn´t matter to me

one thing is for sure, I´ve never been insecure about these things and there was never a lack of trust in my relationships, nor was any issue happening

melaniee789456123 · Accepted Answer

I would be totally fine about it. I would feel such way because I wouldn't let someone I don't trust to become my spouse. My spouse would be someone who I trust and know that I can feel comfortable and safe about, regardless of me not being in control of the situation they're in. Therefore, I wouldn't have to worry about cheating or anything. But, if this friend begins to treat my spouse in an inappropriate or toxic manner, I would try and speak to my spouse on how I do not want them to be treated in a negative way.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

What I think is that a man is faithful because of the family you’ve created and the memories you’ve formed and the love you share and not because you are good looking or rich, a person you love is better than a one day sex toy or a banking machine that will dump you after three months so a normal guy will not cheat if he is happy, with or without God.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I dont pay attention to her looks. I’d pay attention to if she's single, clingy, or flirty with him. If she wants to hang out ALONE with him a lot or calls him after dark, I’d side eye her.

How would you feel about your spouse having opposite-sex friends that are more attractive than you?

My exes had “friend girls” who always eventually admitted to Wanting him for themselves sexually and/or romantically. So the guys would pretty much end the friendship out of respect for our relationship and they’d deny having feelings for the girls in return, YET, the moment we’d breakup… you already know who’d they go running to screw 👀

its_amelia_c · Answer

You cannot tell your partner what they cannot cannot do! It’s not a dictatorship. It’s a relationship.

You need to feel secure, confident and safe in your relationship.

If you don’t then you may be in the wrong relationship, or you may need to address why you have these feelings and address them as it can ruin all future relationships.

You need to trust your partner no matter what company he / she keeps. They are with you, they choose you, they come home to you!

Being with your partner isn’t all about looks. It’s about how that person makes you feel, the love, comfort and joy they bring you.

Splatmate22 · Answer

It depends on how personality is. My ex experienced younger women while I was in college. Did have relationships while in college. Some of my friends that just gain my trust jusr try a temp some previous boyfriend to cheat. I knew that my last previous boyfriend one his girls ask friends was always making drama and knew she has a crush on him. Yep he also ask qe questions about having more then one girlfriends. I said no and he already did cheat. They now ex boyfriends. Also did happen other college that I did find out that another previous boyfriend was going out with me and another girl. That it was cheating. It was in his college when it did happen.

Claudia233 · Answer

I think I am not pretty so almost everyone else is better looking than me lol. I would admire her beauty maybe would envy her a bit with no bad feelings... But she wouldn't be a problem, my boyfriend has a free will to decide if he wants to be with me or not. I am not keeping him in cage.

Screenwriter · Answer

Sounds like these women have self-esteem issues. Your man is with you, not the model. And IF you deigned to tell your man who he could or could not have as a friend, how long do you think he would stay your man?

I'd like to know which of these women would put up with a man who tried to tell them who to have as a male friend! This isn' t about looks, it's about fear of losing someone because you think a prettier face is all that your man values. This is sad.

shaysh87 · Answer

haha once he dates me, he won't have any female friends. if I catch him meeting up with a "female friend" without my consent, the relationship is over. I make this very clear from day 1. I do not tolerate anything. He can keep acquaintances with women, but not friends.

HighlyVolatile · Answer

I don't mind. My wife has her share. I got one in our friend group who's so good-looking and actually a professional athlete.

My wife and I both wonder why he seems to struggle to get a girlfriend. But he's a bit on the shy and reserved side; very serious and professional-like all the time.

We have a girl in our group though who adores him, and she's pretty, but I don't think she's his type. She lays her moves on him so heavily and he stays sort of poker-faced.

petitedollbabee · Answer

Wouldn’t care. I trust my man and have no doubt in my mind that he would tell them to get lost if they tried coming onto him. He’s demisexual, so looks wouldn’t matter at all. It’s a relationship, not an ownership. He’s free to be friends with whomever he wants.

Crankor · Answer

The tricky part of that is its very common for one or the other to develop feelings and the more you hang out the stronger they will get. How many people can prevent that once it's started? If you exchange personal info with them then very rarely will it stay platonic. Not saying it's not possible but not common

Prettygurl12 · Answer

Pft he already does 🤷🏼‍♀️

I don't care. I'm the one with the ring and his last name 💁🏼‍♀️😂

Real talk: We're very solid. We've been together for 10 years and for some reason he still seems to think I walk on water.

HawkPerception · Answer

I would have no issue with my partner being friends with guys more attractive than me. As long as she communicates with me, let's me know where she is, who she's with and makes an effort to make me feel secure, she can do whatever she wants.

dovendyret · Answer

My husbands best friend is gorgeous. I do not deny that in the beginning I felt a little jealous but that was a me problem - so I fixed it. I love that woman.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

Question is, do I think she's more attractive, or does he think she's more attractive?  How is she as a person and how are they acting together?

Spoder · Answer

There are certainly situations where my wife may be 'trapped' in some relationship. But I can't suspect all her friendships. There are much better indicators of possible infidelity than just a person's appearance. If I find myself jealous, there is a problem with me, not with my partner.

Mansipatil · Answer

I am that attractive opposite sex friend to someone's spouse :D

Yucy_Gluttony · Answer

If they were more attractive than me, he would be theirs. He's mine, bitches! <3

Blackcupcake · Answer

I don't see anyone as more or less attractive than me, and I would be the most attractive girl in my man's eyes since he'd obviously be with me and not anyone else

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

I wouldn’t appreciate it, but I know what I bring to the table. If she wants to whore it up, it’s her choice. Just know you will be out the door. I never had a problem before.

Irunya41 · Answer

This is such a weird straight thing, why do people care if their partner has friends? They're just friends

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Neutral as long as I feel I'm more attractive to him. The trouble happens when I feel he'd rather be with her than with me.

exitseven · Answer

if she dated him or had sex with him I would be concerned. Otherwise I would just be vigilant.

Anonymous · Answer

Eh, this isn’t really a good question. Women always think another woman is gorgeous because of her cheekbones or eyebrows or something or because she looks like a shaved giraffe.

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

I don't mind how the guys look because I would trust her but I still be keeping a close eye though.

Mangospacho · Answer

That’s reasonable. If your spouse is uncomfortable with you having attractive opposite sex friends, it’s reasonable for them to be upset.

Twalli · Answer

I wouldn't mind, because I know and trust her. I don't think she'll leave me because of looks. So if she's friends with models, that's her choice

Anonymous · Answer

Just because I think they are more attractive than I am it doesn't mean my husband does.

yourmancallsme · Answer

The ultimate question for the guys Does your father have girl mates?

Anonymous · Answer

Women don’t have male friends. They have orbiters who are waiting for their chance to fuck and guys she keeps in a small circle of subtle flirts and innuendos incase they need sexual attention

Juxtapose · Answer

I'm bisexual so I really can't understand this crap.

Kelly6 · Answer

That’s normal to be. my husbands best friends is a lady

IsoUser · Answer

I am actually self confident enough honestly I personally wouldn't care.

ImNoOne111 · Answer

I surely wouldn't like it but I can't tell her to not do it so its becoming a new nightmare!

QT933 · Answer

Meh, there's always going to be people who are better looking. Doesn't bother me.

Lynn2001 · Answer

As long as there were no off interaction, I don’t care. Same with any other female

Guido · Answer

I am fine with it. I trust her completely and after all, she is sleeping with me.

007kingifrit · Answer

men and women can never be just friends. it is an instant red flag

driven159 · Answer

beauty is not the be all end all if a person is married to someone that for more than beauty

Joker_ · Answer

I'd feel great. Wow, how it must feel to have a spouse

frosty005 · Answer

I don't see any issue with that the issue would be do you have enough self-confidence are you secured enough to handle it

Anonymous · Answer

It all depends on how she treats me vs. them. Give me no reason to distrust you and I won't.

Anonymous · Answer

That would most likely feel like hell if a guy was insecure.

dustybiker · Answer

I do not own a grown man. He is free to love me.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

She can go live in the streets

Remnaourei2 · Answer

I might feel like daddy needs to murder my vagina

KrakenAttackin · Answer

But, but, they are just "friends"... what a joke.

Xtendable · Answer

I’m alright with it. She’s with me

Zygum · Answer

It is cheating, betrayal

TX651 · Answer

I would be concerned.

Jadethedream · Answer

Wouldn’t bother me.

Anonymous · Answer

Actually most women like FFM threesomes so...

GrantArmstrong · Answer

I'm fine with it

Nice222 · Answer

I’m fine with it.

Coloredg · Answer

I would not care

UpdateGloomyNights_ · Answer

I wouldn't want

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