Is she shy or just polite?

[Anonymous]

The background is, I’m a girl and about ten years ago this other girl catfished me. We got very close and when I asked her out, she ghosted me. Fast forward ten years later and she got in contact with me on Christmas Eve 2021 to tell me the truth. I wasn’t mad at her as I kind of already knew and proposed us just starting over, she said she didn’t expect that response and agreed to start over, however just last year she moved to a different country. For me, the feelings haven’t really changed. I still like her as much as I did then and still think the real her is just as attractive. I know she’s insecure about herself in general because she talks down about herself all the time, I hate that she feels that way. It feels like there’s something there, but I’m not sure if she’s just being polite or not! I’m quite open about what I’m thinking or feeling, so I think I’ve made it known that I like her. I tell her how brilliant her mind is and how beautiful I think she is and she never seems to accept, nor does she flirt back. However, there are small moments when she seems to let the guard slip (for example, responding to something I said with “are you trying to wife me?” Or the occasional flirty voice note), but she never overtly flirts with me back. I thought maybe she didn’t want to talk to me but was too polite, so I’ve provided polite outs for her to take, but she never does. I know realistically nothing can happen as she’s 5000 miles away, but I don’t want to unknowingly make her uncomfortable. I don’t know what to make of any of it!

Updates

+1 y

I should add, when we discussed our past, she admitted she had feelings for me too so it was mutual in the beginning.

[SueShe]

Any person that catfishes you once deserves to be and remain on your list of suspicious people until that person can prove the contrary. It is not in a period of 4 months (Christmas eve till today) that you can have an in-depth feeling that something changed.

Anyway, you being a girl should know how superficial compliments are since girls are very often the target of those compliments. She probably perceives it that way and that is why she denies all those compliments. Girls tend to "downgrade" themselves because the pressure from all those social media, TV advertisement and other glossy publications make it clear to anyone that they are never nice looking enough.

She is not shy nor is she polite enough. She is just totally uncertain.

[SueShe]

Thanks for the MHO

[Heinz_]

Maybe she is not interested in you or she still feels guilty about her lie. No need to push her about it just let her feel that she can express herself with no worry.

[Avicenna]

Sounds like she has commitment issues

[In_Trance]

Polite