Is this statement true: if you're not happy being single, you won't be happy in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

[Cynicaldreamer]

Very true. I know this sounds cliché, but until you know what it takes to make YOU happy, you won't know what to expect or want out from a partner.

Have you noticed that people that aren't happy single tend to jump from relationship to relationship? Or have the worse luck in relationships and dating? Especially the ones that claim they hate being single for too long, or can't seem to function by themselves...

That's because they're so dependent on others in order to be happy or feel fulfilled, they don't know how or what really makes them happy. They base their happiness on a relationship status, or how others view them. Sad really.
Those of that are single and happy can pretty much say what we desire and need to in order to feel satisfied. We're not dependent on others to make us feel whole or happy all the time.
Meaning if we find the right person to date, ideally, we compliment and make each other happy. Not one person being the anchor that has to keep you happy all the time.

[LovingLoverReturned]

Yes it is true. Take narcissist for example. If you don't know what they are by today, you should,,, Amber Heard was diagnosed as one...

I've seen countless people join relationships and ruin them because they put too much pressure on the other partner. Partner contribute to out happiness, but they aren't the main source.

This is why men run away. This is why women run away.

If you wanna think of a river and an ocean... the ocean is supposed to be within us... the river join the river.

[LovingLoverReturned]

To join the ocean

[Nawlins34]

It's true.

Because a relationship takes effort. If YOU aren't worth making happy, how are you going to find the effort you didn't have for yourself for someone else and sustain it?

it's not exactly about the happiness by yourself; happiness is the by-product of YOU HAVING WHAT YOU NEED AND PUTTING IN THE WORK TO ACHIEVE IT.

If you have two people with that, the relationship starts off with a better advantage.

I'm totally fine with being A source of happiness for my woman, not THE source. Because there will be bad days in relationships. There will be days you have to carry the other across the finish line.

That's my take on it, I hope it's useful for the readers, be safe and good luck.

[Fireguy17]

Pretty much yes. If you are unhappy with yourself you will still be unhappy with someone else.
you will still be the same person only with someone else there.
Figure out why or what is making you so unhappy and see if you can work on that, and yes I understand that you may very well be unhappy that you are alone, but there is still something going on. Why do you need someone else to make you happy?
If you ok being alone, then it will be better with someone else.
You won't be looking to them to make you happy.
Others can see that you are not a happy person.

[Screenwriter]

That sounds about right. If you're thinking a relationship will solve all your problems, it won't if you aren't bringing positivity with you.

You need to be in a solid place with grounded self-esteem to be in a relationship. If you're not, you bringing a handicap and looking for a doctor. But, often people with matching neuroses end up as couples. It's not a pretty picture, though.

Being in a good place in your life and wanting to share that happiness is what creates great couples.

[JSmuve]

That's kind of a difficult question to answer. Can someone be happy but not happy with being single? If a person is happy with being single, why would they want to be in a relationship? Could someone be happy single but happier in a relationship? Can someone have insecurities and depression yet still function well within a relationship?

I think they whole "you can't be in a relationship unless you're happy with being single" is kind of a cliche. It just discourages people from trying because there's always something to work on. Noone is happy 100% of the time. Noone is a finished product.

[TheLoneTerran]

Not strictly true by the book, but is a good rule of thumb. Happiness while being single can often depend on how positive someone's self-image is. If someone has a decent to good image of themselves, then they're likely to have natural confidence which is a big attraction for many of both genders.

[Birdlegs]

I think its interesting how the guys are either saying no of if depends while the women is almost unanimously yes.
Personally I think no if you’re unhappy because you’re single then being in a relationship would obviously fix that. Like if you’re a person who loves physical touch then of course a relationship would make you happy

[Squaresquirrel]

I would tweak it a little.
If you are not capable of living on your own, but constantly feeling sorry for yourself, instead of enjoying life and looking for someone to fill that void, you won't be happy in a relationship for long because you will expect the other person to make you happy and to give your life meaning.

[Jabberjaw]

Yes and no

If you're a miserable person a relationship masking that can only do so for so long.

If However you recognize deep down you want/need a man in your life and you're looking for that actively. I wouldn't say you won't be happy in the relationship because your discontent comes from not having a man and you resolved it

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Yes.

Being happy as an independent person, and being capable of caring for yourself and thriving as a single person, are all good indicators for me that that person is going to be a better partner.

In the words of RuPaul, "if you don't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else?".

[RandomGuy1030]

Whats your love language just curious

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Physical affection. I have friends whom I'll hug and cuddle with platonically, and my cat helps me feel fulfilled in that sense, too. He likes to wake me up by snuggling on my pillow with me.

[SimpleGuy95]

Yes because if you're not happy with yourself when you're single you won't change that when you're in a relationship.
That way you will constantly bring insecurity in your relationship because you can't be sure that your partner is loving you since you don't love yourself.

[HopefulGuy94]

Nope , that is false , let's correct it. If you are happy being single , you will be also happy in a relationship. Cuz u r waiting for the real and true love avoiding anybody other than him/her when you bump into him/her and you wil be yours' only one for each other till the right moment comes ;) Any question? :)

[kinggeorge007]

Yeah, this is true. Up to a good extent. When you are happy single, you don't demand things from your partner. That's where the freedom begins. Freedom in a relationship is the key to success.

As much as you are not tied down to something, chances are you keep holding it. When you are tied, you are looking for the next best opportunity to leave it.

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

Not true. How can anyone be happy single? I am at the moment counting down the minutes till I go to work because I’m so lonely. I’m so lonely that I am willing to date single moms with child support issues and baby daddy troubles. Yes, plural. She has two kids from two different fathers. One left to Mexico and isn’t paying child support. The other one is in construction and gets paid cash so he doesn’t pay either. I am so lonely that I am willing to put up with all that shit

[Asker]

I know loads of people that are. When was your last relationship?
You are way too young to be worrying about all of this

[Massageman]

More often than not, I would say yes.

If there is someone out there that brings out the happiness in you , though, that would be a consequential exception. Happened to someone I know, he moved across half the country, married a sweet lady who happened to have a raft of medical problems. She brought out the best in him, but she died a few years into the marriage. Now he's a hunk of walking depression.

[dustybiker]

If you aren’t ready for a healthy and loving relationship you won’t know you have it. You’ll be the cause of everything that goes wrong.

[Anonymous]

That’s not true lol why do women marry have kids and husband if they can be happy alone forver in life? Why they have to live with husband see him daily with kids if happiness is supposivly being alone? Bullshit , I hate hearing this bullshit nonsense

[MCheetah]

No, not true. Almost no one is self-actualized and MOST people in relationships are flawed. But they still value and enjoy their relationship anyway. While I think this is a nice ideal goal to set for yourself, I don't think it's true at all.

[peedy]

In a way yes it is true
Before sharing your life with someone you must first be happy stable comfortable content etc with your life you must love yourself before you can truly love another
Any problems you have whatever they may be and no matter how much you try to hide them cover them up or act like your over it will eventually come to the surface and cause problems in a new relationship
You gotta except yourself with all your problems before excepting another

[NMMan]

There is an element of truth to that statement... in that happiness or the lack thereof is independent of one's relationship status, and that tying one's own happiness to relationship status, whether single or not, is potentially problematic.

[Jltakk]

Its a weak platitude to make some feel better from the more fortunate. Its far too general a statement to make. So personality types need a healthy external relationship with other people IN ORDER to heal as a person. Some types of people can't be left alone because they may have cognitive issues that snowball when left in your own head, such as rumination. HIGHLY depends on who you are giving this advice.

[boggboss]

The reasons u are unhappy won't be fixed but will tend to create issue in the relationship

[slatyb]

Pretty much true. A person may prefer to be in a relationship, many or most people do, but if someone can't find their own happiness they are unlikely to find it with someone else.