Some people aren’t willing to change anything whatsoever, not even for the person they love. What are you NOT willing to change for your relationship?
I am willing to change some parts of my personality such as my temperament but I am NOT willing to change most things about my appearance, such as my hair or getting augmentations.
What are you NOT willing to change for a relationship?
I can control, I can adjust, I could commit but I would never change who and what I really am, and the usual is that if you ended up with me in a relationship, you will know this in advance and you're on board with all of me, lol... so I rarely or never have to change myself... adjusting is a better commitment and I think that's just natural for every relationship
we adjust ourselves, to each other
as for my appearance, I will not change my looks nor my style significantly, not just to please or accommodate others... especially not my longer hair, lmao
now, because of the built of my body my weight can vary between 200 and 190 pounds, and that depends on how active I am with sports, if I play a lot more, I also eat a lot more and can build up a bit more of muscle... and when I am less active, I drop in weight and in theory... I could become even more muscular if I worked out some and some girls like that, but I would never aim to do that just to please someone physically because I feel best and I feel like myself, with just a regular athletic body
the one thing I can easily change is my beard, lol... some girls like a bit of a stubble, so I can do that much for them, if they prefer it or really like it and want it, even if I prefer to have a clean cut shave
and with that being said... I have never ever asked a girlfriend of mine to change herself to pleas me
Depends on the seriousness of it. But honestly I am changing all the time and the day I stop is the day I die. Ofc, some things are not on the table for debate as I do have a course and a direction. Growth mindset.
[Short-term/fling/non-directional] : 1. Environmentalism won't get worse, only better (Balanced atm). 2. I will never take rumor as truth, it's a piece of a misleading puzzle. 3. I will Always lean on studies and statistics to indicate where the truth probably are. There must be perspective to any experience. 4. I won't be a bullie. 5. I Don't respond to shame-tactics. 6. We'll always have separate budgets, we'll never share a wallet but we can share living-expenses. 7. I won't abandon my friends, balance us key. 8. I can change my party-habits, but I won't stop.
I like the person I am, some things about me I would change like: My previous relationship I got told I needed to compliment more, make him feel loved and that I physically wanted him because often he felt I thought he was ugly😬 so thinking more about their needs and not assuming they know what’s happening in my head. Be more outgoing. I’m a home body, can easily not go out for weeks on end and keep busy at home. Dating you need to get out and do things. So becoming more extroverted.
Things I wouldn’t change: How I look physically (my hair, clothes I wear or get any surgeries, my likes)
I won’t date a guy with unrealistic expectations, asking me to eat salad more is fine, asking me to exercise for two hours a day is unacceptable, asking me to wear sandals that are comfortable is okay, asking me to wear 4 inch wedges is unacceptable, asking me to study therapy is fine, expecting me to study medicine if he has no gotten a bachelors is unacceptable, asking me to hold his hand is fine, asking me to sleep with him and tolerate abuse in bed is not okay.
BY the time most of us are young adults, if we have the ability to look at ourselves critically, we have already done so. We have made the adjustments that we thought would be beneficial and the result was that we became a person that we really, really like (despite our flaws.) Most people aren't willing to change because they don't think anything else needs to be changed and they like who they are right now.
don’t try to change me ever. You met me the way I am, so deal with it. I will change when I want to make this relationship work but not because you said so
@Bob92220 🤣. How’d you like it if I try to change you? What I meant was I will change if I have to to make this relationship work! To compromise. But you can’t control or change a person period! Don’t talk about sacrifices to me 😂 nobody knows the shit and he’ll I have to go through and what I have to give up and lose for someone I love.
@Pinay_ako "What I meant was I will change if I have to to make this relationship work! To compromise." I agree with you. I was in a relationship where she had a temper. I told her I'm not her whipping post and to stop yelling at me. She said her yelling is harmless and it's who she is. She can't change. So our relationship ended. I guess there are things we would like changed but the other person doesn't believe it should change.
Well I think most people will tell you that they were who they were when you met them, and if that is the person you feel in love with then what should they have to change?
I mean if you think I have should change, then why can I not say maybe you should change something about you that would make my need to change unnecessary?
I mean if you are saying I need to change, but I am the same person that I was when we met... maybe you have changed and you need to change that thing about you back to where it was before when met and fell in love. Because change is hard, especially when you don't feel the need to change just because someone else things you need to change, when you have been who you are for your whole life. If who I am is not good enough for you then, maybe you need to make some changes about your life... like finding a better boyfriend or girlfriend that will better indulge your whimsy more.
Probably the one thing I wouldn't be okay changing is how cuddly I am in private. I'd probably bolt if my other half was like uh next time how about we don't cuddle. I'd probably end up feeling so unwanted I'd probably just dissapear the next day or purposely make the next night be super hella romantic with just the intention of it being a massive cover up for when I ditch town.
And to be clear its cuddles (headpats, rubs, hugging, kissing, and passing out together.) This doesn't mean sex by any means XD. In fact if I got asked by that by a romantic partner I'd probably just freeze. Cause how uncomfortable I'd be.
I won’t change to become someone I’m not. These are things like my core values, my core identity, and my core personality.
Anything that I’m willing to change will be something I personally decide to do, something that is ultimately my decision—not something I’m pressured into.
An example of this would be if I’m with someone that lashes out during emotional outbursts, I can choose to try to be more patient, because if I want this relationship to work I need to lead by example and work through this calmly.
If I want to be her rock, I would need to hone my patience and self-control. It’s something I would want to improve—because I want to be a better boyfriend, not because she’s demanding me to change.
Oooh, good question! I don't think it's a long or unreasonable list. Here it is: 1. I will not change how I feel about smoking since it's unhealthy, and I'm allergic. 2. I will not change my religion (but I'm willing to date anyone who respects my beliefs, regardless of their own). 3. I will not change my stance on mental and physical health since I'm a psychologist and know exactly how important those both are.
I'm flexible and willing to grow with pretty much anything else. It's a bit surprising I have trouble finding a compatible gal unless I'm missing something 🤷♂️
- my faith in God. - core beliefs - political stances - relationship with my family - my belief that despite its flaws the USA is one the greatest countries on earth - my favorite sports (I am a big mma fan)
With said I above I am open to respectful debates. I dated a girl who was agnostic and a moderate liberal back in 2013 to 2014 (sadly she’s now a radical leftist). We had some very good in depth discussions and debates. I enjoyed that because she gave me new viewpoints on some issues and vice versa. But those days are gone.
A debate is about finding out WHAT is right vs BEING right. An argument is about forcing your point regardless if you are right or wrong. But too many people in our country want things to be “my way or no way”
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Anonymous
(18-24)
9 mo
Nothing. I’m not interested in dating or to get into a relationship at all. I stay away from men that way on purpose and have no desire to change that. However, if I for some reason ended up with a guy anyway then I wouldn’t be willing to change anything at all. I am who I am and either he takes me as I am or not at all. I also don’t believe in changing yourself for a partner. A) I don’t believe it’s possible. Maybe for the first few weeks, months or years but then your true self will shine through and the relationship will break down because in their mind you’re no longer the person they fell in love with, but in reality the person they fell in love with was fake and never existed in the first place. And B) if you have to change youself for them to love you they’re not the one.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
9 mo
Nothing that is permanent for sure.. I could change my hair for example, not to something I would not like myself, but if he prefered it long then I'd go for that instead of cutting it shorter now and then. Though, I'd not get botox or fillers, since I like to age naturally. I'd also work on getting rid of bad habits, maybe beneficial for myself anyway :) Being in a relationship can actually be a great motivation to improve oneself. As long as I feel it is a positive change from the start, then I am open for that.
I think honestly I won’t change ANYTHING of what I am and what I do for a relationship. It’s up to the other to accept me as I am. There’s obviously priority of the dialogue and every thing wrong can be solved, if there are problems I can adjust a bit but I won’t change my personality, my appearance, my work and my way of living for another person.
My gender preferences. Nor my gender. I have a strong reasonable and well thought out moral campus that will not change directions. I don't smoke = No smokers No alcoholics No drug addicts I hate tattoos but there is a 1.03529887% chance there. I'll have to get an exact ml measurement of the ink used vs body surface area + skin tone + skin texture + location.
Other than that I am and have been willing to change locations, jobs, countries...
I date for personality compatibility not physical things. If I can't get along with someone and everything about me bothers them, im not going to linger around torturing myself. The healthiest relationships have few arguments, toxic "hard" relationships shouldn't be normalized.
My personality. I am not willing to lower my standards (they are legitimate standards in my opinion). My faith. My Christianity. My morals. My values. Among MANY other things.
I am not going to have someone take from me more then she gives... I would not take more then I give.
My ethics or sexuality. I'm not attracted to gay people or queer people. I've had quite a few weekend lesbians try to gaslight me into dating them, only for me to tell them to eat dirt because I'm not into pseudo-lesbians, no matter how much they try to 'claim' they "like men, too." B*tch no you don't.
I like to be myself the way I am so I will never let anybody change me in way that I won't be able to behave the way I am.
Ofcourse nobody's perfect so if someone points out my negative behaviour then I will try to change my behaviour but other then that I just wanne be "Me, Myself and I !!
Take me the way I am, with all my negatives and positives. Dont try to change me for who I am 😇🙏
Because you can’t really change who you are as a person and you shouldn’t have to change to appease someone that wants you to change , Someone should love you the way you are not love you for what they want you to be or what they think you should be. They are the person that changed , not you
It's depends sure I will leave the toilet seat down for her lol like annoying things like that but if someone is embarrassed how I am with my personality or something hell NOO im not changing how I am I would not want her too change well if I'm in a relationship with her because I already like how she is mentally and physically I don't expect no changes in a her :) fact!
The only things I'd change about my appearance are my weight, physique or little things like hairstyle or dress style. I let a girlfriend give me a little "make-over" once, and it was definitely better for me. I'd never change or take up a religious belief for anyone.
I’ll compromise but I feel as a man of the relationship I own my own home and working here in Miami is top priority plus my mortgage is paid off. I’m not gonna move to a foreign country when I know nothing about it it’s better that she comes to me my long distance relationship online girl. Besides she lives with your mother anyway it would never work out me living in her mothers house and I wouldn’t even know what to do with myself there.
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