Why does the double standard exist where older man dates younger and it's good, but if it's an older woman dating younger it's somehow bad?

[worldscolide]

It's hard to wrap my head around. I'm 39, my wife is 29, turning 30 this year. I heard from everyone I know that they were happy she was marrying someone who could provide for her, and take care of her.. We started dating a few months before her 21st birthday. But when you see the roles reversed, the woman is in her thirties or forties and she gets with a guy who is 10 years + younger than her it's seen as a mistake, or that it's just a fling.

I think it boils down to societies belief that the man must be the provider, if a woman marries someone older, he can provide for her, if she marries someone younger it's seen as he cannot provide so it's a mistake.

Then you have this third group who sees that kind of age difference as pedophilia, which is just plain stupid and comments like that will be deleted, as we are 100% talking about consenting adults.

[TrueConfection]

I think the double standard is seen because it's just unusual for a younger man to want a long term relationship with an old woman. It's just less common.

by the way, I don't think there is anything wrong with your marrying someone 10 years younger than you if you have a lot in common and a connection.

[worldscolide]

I was in the hospital for my wisdom teeth when we were still dating. We had only actually been on one date.. My teeth almost killed me, I spent a few days on the ICU. She was the only person that visited me, not my mom, not my friends.. Just her.. That is what turned me from, hey this is fun, I like dating her, to, yeah I'm going to marry her.

[TrueConfection]

Sweet! You chose wisely! That is definitely a bright GREEN flag.

[worldscolide]

Agreed. We've been together 9 years, married for 7 of it. The other green flag was that her parents, brothers and sisters took me in as one of their own.

[TrueConfection]

Sounds like you hit the jackpot. I hope the rest is icing on the cake! 😋

[worldscolide]

Thank you!!

[DizzyDesii]

I just always found it gross either way. It doesn't make you a pedo unless she was under 18, but if a person groomed the guy/girl while they were under 18 then thats pedoish.

[worldscolide]

Yeah that's gross.

[SiberFox]

Providing for a family in an older man, and fertility in a younger woman.
Young man less lilely to provide adequately and older woman less fertile

[Guy13]

Younger women have to be around boys... that's enough of a reason as last thing they want is a boyfriend that reminds them of their brother...