Should people date and married only within their same age catagory?

Question

This can be a very sensitive subject I remember one of my close friends from the town I grew up in. She got married with this a man that's 8 year age gap he was 29 let's just called him Chad my friend was 20 let's just called her Lexy at that time. Chad would call Lexy insanely and text way to much I tough it was crazy and I became concerned but Lexy took it as Chad being romantic and sweet. Long story short Lexy ended up marrying Chad and to say the least Chad became very controlling of Lexy. Chad didn't allowed Lexy to cut or dye her hair. Chad wouldn't allowed Lexy to hang out with the people he didn't like. Chad didn't allowed Lexy to work even dough she did had a college degree. Chad treated her more like a daughter figure rather then a wife figure. Chad even put a tracker and look up her phone he didn't allowed Lexy to drive for two straight years I mean it was insane Chad wouldn't even allowed her to have a girl's day out. Now she is 30 divorce and Chad left Lexy for a 21 year old Chad he is now 37 . That scary thing is this girl is much younger. Huge age gap relationship are always toxic?

HighValue · Accepted Answer

You should have named them "Sexy Lexy" and "Chad Thundercock." lol

Anyways, no, the age gap wasn't the problem. Do couples of the same/close age usually work out? Are most people still with the same person they were with in high school by the time they are 30+? Nope. Most close age relationships don't work either.

Cutting hair short and dying it are signs of a liberal man hating feminist so that would be understandable for any normal guy to not want that. The other parts mentioned seemed unreasonable though.
What did "girls night out" mean though? Is it the typical one where she goes out flirting with other guys (cheating) for free drinks or food like it is for many women that want a "girls night out?"

Gent207 · Accepted Answer

There was a lot more going on in that situation than just their age gap.
Yes it's true that the age gap between two people can increase or decrease the odds of divorce.
However in this case as you presented it sounds like these two rushed into marriage while during the honeymoon phase. Which according to some studies can last 6 months to a year. As a consequence your friend easily dismissed any red flags.
I'm sorry that happened to your friend. But surely you realize from hindsight of this and your own experiences that there is so much more to human relationships and marriage.

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

Age gap has nothing to do with toxicity… some mature men make better husbands or partners than their younger counterparts and vice versa. It’s the people involved who make the relationship work or break. I can be dating a younger man who will treat me better than a man my age or older. Who are we do to say who someone should date or not?

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

People can date or marry people of any legal age if they so choose, my first husband was a year older than me, my second was 5 1/2 years older...
People can be controlling at any age, don't think an age gap between partners has anything to do with that... My first husband that was younger than my second was the controlling one

OlderAndWiser · Answer

The unhealthy nature of the relationship isn't a result of the age gap. There are many, many relationships which have an 8-9 yar gap in which both partners are very happy.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I’ve always been of the opinion that age is mostly just a number. Maturity varies along with values, principles and preferences. And that’s more important. Great disparities in age will have more challenges due to generational differences in values, principles and preferences. But i think every generation has its share of old souls. Those people are naturally going to be more drawn to older people. And there are always older people who manage to maintain their wonder and enthusiasm for life and the world, and they’ll be more drawn to younger people. There are too many excuses to forbid love. They should all go away, in my opinion.

Mijopapi2000 · Answer

That is nothing at all to do with the age gap. That was the guy's personality. You could have absolutely nothing in common with people in your age group but have something in common with someone older or younger. Plus when it comes to attraction there is no magic number on that. It is something chemical.

plredhead · Answer

I think it is more important that partners be close in age the younger they are. As we get older it doesn't matter as much. I still would prefer someone closer to my own age than to my child's age. Since my grandparents are all dead, I definitely don't want anybody their age. I think you have more in common when you are near the same age. I do think some people pick people younger than themselves thinking they can boss them around.

TrueConfection · Answer

That is a risk. I have a relative who married a much younger woman (M37) (F23). We were concerned that he was going to turn into a control freak, but it turns out she's the one in control and he's her puppy.

Anonymous · Answer

I won't consider dating a girl if she's older than 19. I won't have a relationship with a girl that has done hookups, one night stands, flings, or has more than 2 partners. I preferably want a girl that's a virgin. Thankfully, the age of consent is 16 in Europe and there's no statutory rape laws so 16 is 100% legal in most countries. Socially acceptable is another question which makes it more questionable since some people will tolerate it and others find it bad. But if a girl agrees to a relationship, that's really the end of it in Europe. There's no criminal liability for 18 in most European countries if they date a girl at the age of consent with only the girl's consent.

RedStealthOperative · Answer

I think even if Chad was her same age, it would be the same result. Nothing to do really with the age difference. Chad just sounds like a manipulative, controlling, narcissistic, obsessive, sociopathic, inconsiderate, belligerent, psychotic... you get the idea. I give him all those adjectives because he really sounds like one of those obsessive psychopaths from a Lifetime movie.

Anonymous · Answer

Older men tend to be really controlling and they think they own their younger partner so yeah most age gaps are a bad idea. There are always exceptions but society fetishizes female youth way too much to the point that men think it's okay to say creepy shit about middle schoolers and I wish it would stop.

Avicenna · Answer

In a free society, adults of different ages will pair up. The determining factor in a relationship's success is compatibility, and you can be completely incompatible with someone your age and compatible with someone significantly older or younger than you.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

You are drawing a correlation that is not there. That guy would have been toxic dating a person his own age and he'll still be toxic when he's in a nursing home. I've seen many age gap relationships work and I've seen many fail. Just like I've seen same age relationships work and fail.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

It doesn't matter if two people who are together are born at the same time on the same day of the same month of the same here or have upwards of 10+ years apart. They both will last anywhere from either a short time to a long time. This is in reference to them going their separate ways if they break up or get a divorce not if one of them dies.
My girlfriend is 12 years 8 months 4 days older than me and we have been together for 8 years 9 months 1 week 6 days.

MoniqueTLC · Answer

The age gap isn't the problem, it's Chad. He clearly has a possessive, controlling personality type. He's probably very insecure and feels he needs to control his partner. Sounds like he could have narcissistic traits too

Adaeva · Answer

Chad couldn't control her if she didn't allow it; not even for a day. It was not related to the age difference. It was because she is one of the few women that love being abused because when they are abused, the get sympathy.

Whatever2929292 · Answer

I don't care. It really does not matter and as long as someone was over the legal age and under child bearing ages I am open to dating pretty much anyone if I am attracted to her.

loveslongnails · Answer

You should date someone you're compatible with, so long as it's legal. Marriage has lots of other considerations, like kids. A huge age gap can be problematic, a small one, not so much.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Man I’d love if we could inly marry the same age. That would be a dream come true 😭 But nah people marry light years apart so it is what it is

Crankor · Answer

Yah age has nothing to do with that. Just a persons shitty Character. But to answer your question, that age gap to me isn't a big deal but the important part is making sure your both in a similar stage in life

Changiis07 · Answer

No necessarily. I mean a 20 year difference is a lot but like 5 is oksy

anon1903 · Answer

Higher the age gap, more chances of relationship becoming disastrous. Generation gap applies even here.

Cubus · Answer

One wants to age with his/her spouse. If he/she is 30 years older than you than he/she would die way before you.

Should people date and married only within their same age catagory?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Should people date and married only within their same age catagory?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.