I don’t think I’ll ever allow a bad situation to affect me that much. My heart is always open but I do slick have my guard up until I’m given a reason to drop all that and more for ya.
Have you ever had an experience so bad that you never wanted to give another relationship a go?
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Anonymous
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My last relationship left me feeling like I was the crazy one, that I had no empathy or sympathy, and that I asked too much of my ex.
I tried communicating with him but he always took me wanting to have a discussion as an attack and he always twisted it around about how it was my problem. He would make bad behavior about how he had to do what was best for himself and I have no right to be upset at him because he had good intentions. As long as he had good intentions for how he treated me, I had no right to be upset at him. Period. He owed me nothing, not even an apology, as he liked to remind me often.
He only treated me well when he felt I deserved it, but I had to be the one to be able to read his mind and know what he wants when he wants at all times, or else he would give an ultimatum.
I literally let him get away with treating me terribly and I would always make excuses for him because of everything he went through in life. Never EVER make excuses for your significant other’s bad behavior. It is not your fault and you do not deserve to be treated terribly no matter what he/she went through before you.
None of what he led me to feel was true and I know this now. My ex was a narcissist and I have come a long way in finding my self worth again, but I still have a ways to go. I am still hesitant in giving someone else a chance although I feel I am ready to. It’s hard, but I know I am on my way.
Omgeeee i hate the victim playing ones who feel like if we communicate we’re fussing at them. I've dated a few of those. I warning them that they’d know when i was attacking them and by the end of the relationship, i fcking cut their tongues out with my words. Im super sorry you went through that
Seriously! My ex was also super grandiose and thought his word was all. I am sorry you had to go through this a few times! I appreciate your support ❤️
I have a couple of times, first time was when the love of my life was killed in a car accident. I never thought I'd find another, so totally gave up for a couple of years.
The next time, actually moved in with the guy but came home one day and he was watching child porn. Not just any child porn though, child porn that my rapist uploaded after he raped me.
That one was so bad, I called the police so they could arrest him for it and they hauled his ass away and I said never again.
I often would quit for awhile, or just give up on men... and think, well maybe women would be better but then I found my current man and he is the best.
Yes, because he knew I had been trying to get it taken down from places and he searched it out. I should mention I came home early and he was doing that thing guys do when watching porn to it and his excuse was he had never seen a naked 14 year old girl. He got convicted though, so that is good... hard evidence they hauled the computer away right there.
One ex of mine bragged about his porn not being available and i googled it in less than 5 mins. I refused to watch it and saw he put on there that he was bisexual and was selling nudes to gay men. I broke up immediately
He wasn't even bi and he did porn long before we met. But he told me about it late in our relationship and i was already ready to end things. But then when i saw he was trying to get mens money, it was an automatic over
My very last relationship that I had was like that we started out as friends I was just trying to help her get on her feet she had just broken up with her boyfriend at the same time just moved here from Colorado and I gave her some work and would give her a little bit more work and a little bit more when things start happening and other things that are happening next year and I try to explain to her that this really isn't meant to be just because we had great sex doesn't mean anything and I really thought we were two different type of people and I told her it just wasn't going to work I don't think she wanted to try I said what the hell and I should have stuck with my first thought about it because about a year into it it just wasn't working anymore it took me 7 months to get her out of my house because I was still time to be kind but she wasn't hearing anything that I was saying she just thought she could take me for that ride once I finally got her out and on the airplane to go back to Colorado I could actually breathe again but I was so angry so pissed off I didn't want to have anything to do with any girl ever I felt that I had lost myself even my friends were telling me you're just in a bad mood you're not the same guy I said I know that so I just needed my space I knew I'd find myself again but yeah relationships like that take a toll I mean I'm the type of guy if I break up with somebody I'm still their friend forever and they know that and there are a few exes that I have that I mean we're still there for each other we don't have sex or anything and I wouldn't because that would just be leading right back into the same boat we were in I don't believe in that but yes this girl did a number on me I finally got her out of my house right before covid thank God but I've just been getting myself back together doing lots of work and trying to flirt to feel what it feels like again trying to smile it all works itself out in time but I will start listening to myself because I never want to experience that again
For me I feel the same way but at the same time it's not really a flirt it's just a part of me and it's who I am and thank God every relationships I've been in they can see it as not a flirt that I'm just being friendly and I'm smart ass I think I've been very very lucky in that way but I mean when I'm in a relationship I tone it way down because I don't want the person I'm in the relationship to feel something that they should never need to feel because I am 100% loyal
Nope never. I have had some seriously terrible relationships. Well seriously just one, but it was a 20 year ordeal involving kids. But in the end, I pride myself on being and excellent judge of people, and strong interpersonal skills. So I always knew my ex wife was not a good person. I mean at 20 years old I got her pregnant thats the only reason why I married her honest. Sure I thought I loved her at 20, and maybe I truly did... but it didn't take long for her to show her true colors. But being a man with a high sense of Inegrity and honor I always tried my best. So in the end whose to really blame, the monster or the one who kept it feed and allowed it to grow and mature into a really man eater. So I am not without blame or fault... and that failure taught me a lot about myself and how to be better, stronger, wise and more confident about myself and in other people.
But No way would I ever give up, or quit trying. I am a very social person with strong interpersonal skills, so I need and want some one special in my life to feel that bond and emotional connection with.
For me to give up on dating or people in general to the degree that I quit trying would mean that I would have to give up on myself. And I would never do that.
For sure and having a lot of success. 😉 if you look for success you will find it, if you live in fear of disappointment and rehearing you will find that as well. So depend a lot on what you're looking for. Even in failure you can find something you need to be successful, if you look for it, learn from it and build on it. Just some wisdom of mine, but you will be amazed how many will never find it with in themselves to think, be, and live that way.
Not like your experiences at all. My bad situations were more because of my lack of experience I'd say. I would kinda develop multiple personalities while talking with them. I'd tease like "why you deleting your Tinder for" insinuating I'm not wanting something serious I guess and to me it just sounded kinky so I'd say stuff like that. I was just weird, I was talking like someone else and so when she did start getting Tinder dates after a few months of me being meh, which was prime time for me to ask questions and show my interest. What really happened would be she announces her dates and I'd be like oooh nice that's hot, or on those lines. While then that night after we hang up I'd cry myself to sleep. I created my hell essentially and yeah built up horribly, went insane. And now that girl identifies as male and female... and is married off to a woman. Like from what I hear she's happy and all so that's great. Learned a lot, thought a lot about why she did things. So I gained more than I lossed in the end for sure.
Yep, over the last couple years, I learned that all women are selfish whores that enjoy the pain they make you feel. Funny. I use to be the simp that put women on a pedestal, until they sucked all the joy and hope from my life and tortured me emotionally making me pray for the sweet release of death until I finally cut all my emotions away, the only way I could live is without a heart, now its just cold, ice cold, thats why most guys are cold because we couldn't take the endless tourture, so you have to choose to die on the inside so at least the empty shell of myself can survive. I'm empty I could gather the courage to gather the shattered pieces of my heart, and the remaining slivers of my soul and glue them back together again, but for what so another sadistic woman to tear me apart all over again and get off t the emotional pain they cause me
Everyday I think about every woman that hurt me, I know they never think of me, their too busy killing the hopes, dreams and crushing the hearts of another good guy. I live for nothing
I forgot what your question was but I'm sure I answered it in there somewhere
Nope. I would break up with the person I had a bad experience with and not look back but I know there are good people in the world. Maybe I’ll be more cautious about getting serious with someone but I’ll talk to people, get to know people and enjoy time with new people. If I feel completely secure around them then maybe we’ll have something serious.
When my ex-girlfriend's mother reported to the police that I am a pedophile. I was 13 and her daughter was 12. They moved because of me. I've found out where she is after all of these years.
I am 18 now and hadn't been in a relationship since. Mainly because I see that nobody wants to date me. I have not yet completely given up on love. I hate it when people share their current love story and when people brag about having a lover, and when people show their love to their romantic partners, it makes me lovesick to the point where I want to scream and cry.
In my latest attempt, I spent a year talking to a girl, and got really close. Met her once and this day was probably the best day of my life, even though we didn't kiss or anything else. After that, she stopped talking to me, wouldn't show the same interest in talking to me as before. Tried to meet her again, but she traveled and didn't warn me in time. Right on Christmas I saw her profile picture with someone else. We didn't even get official, but this felt like a heart-smashing breakup. I'm definitely not trying again ever again.
90% of the time its not going anywhere if there wasn't a kiss and smile on the first date. The kiss on the first date speaks volumes for me. If i dont kiss him, i lost interest
Yeah, for years, every guy I liked thought I wasn't good for anything but sex. I didn't give it to them, so they walked away. Then, I finally met someone who was interested and funny and wanted to be with me. I fell hard and I thought he was falling for me too. But it turned out he lied about almost everything that was important. He was an alcoholic, drug-addicted narcissistic neo-nazi. So, that was traumatizing. And since that ended, I'm back in the same boat where a lot of men love how I look and would love to take me to bed, but no one wants to love me. So, I'm done.
Being raped put me off men for a couple years. Even just looking at a man made me furious at the time, because I was still working through the trauma of being violated. But eventually thanks for therapy and good men in my family, I had help working through it and regained trust for guys after a while.
Not give up. But it has really forced me to take a measured approach. I'm much more practical about relationships now. Everybody loves the rush of feelings they get when they're in love. But there are real life consequences for BOTH OF YOU, when you just chase those feelings.
First two boyfriends where either manipulative or disrespectful or something like that. 3rd boyfriend wasn’t sure of himself and current boyfriend is the most caring person ever.
She said i am sweet and that she loves me and all that. But then she took a vacation to a metropolis city. She even asked me if its okay and i said fine by me. What really happened is she went there and found herself a rich man there and who knows what they did. Only A few months later after the vacation she ghosted me and moved there without telling me. Others have relayed this to me. She threw my heart away and turned into a gold digger.
A natural reaction occurred to me being angry at women but eventually it wore off after repeatedly seeing women unlike her.
I am open for love but i generally dont expect girls to stay for long. Real love is when she can walk away at any time but she doesn't want to.
Ima keep it a bean. Yeah I have, my first real and long term Relationship left me permanently fucked up. It took me 3 years to get over it (or at least get it out of my mind like that). I will admit it wasn't the relationship itself that was bad, it was the breakup and the reasons behind it that left me absolutely mind fucked. But you know, it it is what it is, i am what i am
Truth be told I've been dating, but as wrong as it sounds, I feel like I will never fully give it my all again. I know how the last relationship felt when shit went down and even tho Im a "big strong burly" guy sheit still hurt. Ion ever want to be at that mercy ever again. I know its wrong but I've come to adopt the 21 savage method, "first girlfriend did me wrong, I swear to God that every girl after that, I was gone do them wrong"
Its mean no cap, but it does hit different. Certain amount of truth. When 21 said, I ain't know nothing about no Visa... I was No social security, couldn't get a license, but I still didn't complain I felt that but that one line, it resonates to me. First girlfriend did me wrong, I swear to God that every girl after that, I was gone do them wrong. I know deep down I never fully got over it you know? Ion know if you ever gone through something like that but that shit hurts lmao
Yes. I was viciously attacked, berated, accused and kicked out. Twice. It was a side swipe I didn't see it coming and still to this day don't understand how it happened. Because I don't know where it came from I am really gun shy that I might be target practice again.
by the way I love the song “Falling” the lyrics slaps.
I always have my guards up. I’ve had a few bad experiences here and there but I usually catch on to these things before they get worse and end it ASAP. Ofc I still have my guard up but that won’t stop my from trying again.
No. That's like giving up on life after trying and failing at some activity.
I give my all, no matter what. If things don't work out, life goes on.
There was one particular girlfriend who I wound up loving with my heart and soul. Even though we had our own places, we lived together for over a year. When the relationship fell apart, I was a wreck. It took me a year to pull myself together. But three years after the breakup, I met my future wife.
My current boyfriend and I dated years ago and when he broke up with me I genuinely thought I'd never love again because I couldn't fathom why he would do that but over the years I matured, processed, realized a lot of my mistakes and thankfully we worked things out to a point where we could try again.
At this point I think I have the maturity to know that life goes on, time heals wounds. It would take something life ruining to never want to love again.
I picked E but I had a year where I dated 5 or 6 different girls. Some I probably should not have been with. It was fun at first but I got sick of all the toxic behavior and the lying and deceit. One night I went to a concert with a girl and I just got really sick of her. I was going to give up dating for a while maybe forever. Ironically I met my future wife the very next day.
no I would never let my bad experiences affect my relationship with anyone that did not have anything to do with it… and if I truly care for them, I will give them my all, love, trust, loyalty and faith… until, they give me a reason to take it back, and it would take a lot… for me to take it back
My last relationship she turned out to be demented and now won't leave me alone so no I definitely don't want another relationship, people suck and I'm over it to be honest. I'd rather die alone than put up with the endless drama and moaning and lying.
BUT REMEMBER IF YOU ARE GOING TO CHASE AFTER CHAD AND TYRONE IT WON'T END WELL, YOU WILL JUST BE ANOTHER GIRL IN THE LINE UNTIL THE NEXT GIRL TAKES YOUR PLACE
LYRICS
Baby back, aye Couple racks, aye Couple Grammys on him Couple plaques, aye That's a fact, aye Throw it back, aye Throw it back, aye
And this one is for the champions I ain't lost since I began, yuh Funny how you said it was the end, yuh Then I went did it again, yuh
told you long ago, on the road I got what they're waitin' for I don't run from nothin', dog Get your soldiers, tell 'em I ain't layin' low You was never really rootin' for me anyway When I'm back up at the top I wanna hear you say "He don't run from nothin', dog" Get your soldiers, tell 'em that the break is over
Yeah. I tend to think in the first long term relationship you have much more confidence. Apart from physical attraction she is reasonable. You are reasonable. Then it goes belly up and you just don't have the same expectation/confidence any more.
Yeah, my first. I invested all of myself & it went not well. I've never invested in another relationship again even though that's been over 23 years ago. I have had friends with benefits's but I don't like calling them that, more like close friends.
Sadly yes, but thanks to my past man I did change my mind again... I'm not ready yet to start something new now but I'm open to it in the future and already excited
So… as you know. Did have a dumb past relationship but… i definitely wouldn’t consider it bad. And I also wouldn’t consider ending seeking out a relationship from what crap happened…
Not in a relationship all of mine have been pretty great. But I drank Casamigos one time and that was the one time I puked from drinking and I never drank it again.
I've had bad experiences and I don't see any point in trying further. I'm sure there is someone out there but don't have any confidence we will ever meet.
I wish I could have faith but I barely go through the motions these days. I mostly can't be bothered to even swipe on apps these days. If I'm going to find someone, it will happen but I'm not overly concerned either way. 🙃
No , one relationship isn't the same as the next. Unless you're bad with picking partners, if you can not recognize the red signs the next experience will probably be as bad.
I got sick of constantly never being good enough for women. Never tall enough whatsoever. Never earning enough money. Never this, never that. Never perfect. It wasn't (and still isn't) good for my self-esteem.
I literally only met one woman who possibly loved me. She was the love of my life but suffocated in an apartment complex fire almost ten years ago, this November. Every other woman I was with thought me to be inferior or they thought their ex was better than me.
She is easily the front runner from women I have dated. Really haven't had a "fight" moreso discussions and direct talks in a conflict. This month would be our two year market of meeting and October would be our official anniversary of being exclusive for 2 years.
Only thing we have had frequent talks about is her career path. She wants to pursue her law enforcement into one of the big three letter agencies FBI/DEA kind of deal, but it comes at the high cost of me having to follow for her career after I busted ass to make second highest pay cut in two years. So we will see where it goes
I haven’t been in that many relationships as it is so if I had a bad experience in that relationship that wouldn’t make me not want to be in another one
I have been cheated on before more than once but I always considered if they can't be loyal then they are someone I need to be with. I always willing to give another relationship a go.
I mean anyone who’s had abad experience, relationship or not AND if they are afraid to give someone else a chance. Look around at how everyone else responded
It sounds like you are looking for the exception and then encouraging them to be in a relationship again.
When you say they are afraid to be in a relationship whether they are have been in one or not, it's only a matter of time. Time to figure themselves out and time to meet someone they've decided brings out their best self.
If they break up, it's just more time to realize whether being in relationship is really what they need. And sometimes, their lifestyle is really more suited for the single life.
I've had a bad breakup. I didn't care to date, and then someone made me care after 3 months. For others, there's no given time to tell people that they need to be in a relationship. They should take a year or 20 to themselves if they prefer being single because people that are afraid of being alone don't make the best partners.
Im not rushing anyone. I’m talking like how you have MGTOW... im asking if people are basically so afraid of another relationship that they join fcked up groups like that
Oh I would not have figured that's what you were going for. I imagine GirlsAskGuys would not have many who are that extreme as there are other social media platforms to spread that kind of hate.
Relationships are about finding someone who makes you feel safe letting your guard down, if you assume the worst in people, you will never find happiness.
I asked her why I'm so different from her previous boyfriends. You know the bad boy type. I'm a good guy type. Her exact words were " you are my safe choice " and i asked what that meant she said " your are not good looking enough to ever cheat on me" .
Nothing compared to the real problems 😂 I've had someone tell me they'd kill themselves because I was ignoring her messages.. I was taking a shower, it was 8.30am, she wasn't even my girlfriend.
I heard suicide was the number 1 cause of death for people between 18-30 in the US in recent years. (From memory, numbers could be slightly off). We're literally killing ourselves more than things like cancer. Crazy stuff.
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