When it comes to a relationship is the term "it's not you it's me" actually genuine?

[IJhonnyI]

Personally, its depends (a lot deeper than words) a lot of the times it's bullshit😂

[Ευδεμονια]

I sincerely think in most of the cases it’s totally crap. Saying “it’s my fault, it’s not you” is the best way to cut ties with a person without telling them truth and without confronting really. You take all the blame (from the other’s perspective) but you leave the other person without a proper explanation.

[OlderAndWiser]

Sometimes it's for real and sometimes it's an excuse, and you can't really know when it is the real deal and when it is BS.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Marinepilot]

OlderAndWiser,

You are definitely the voice of reason. Bravo ! Well stated!

[Pinay_ako]

Sometimes… it could be one person is fighting their own personal demons that has nothing to do with the other person and it just won’t work sometimes because it will take a toll on the relationship. Therefore, it’s not you it’s me.

[Pinay_ako]

🤣 what’s so funny 😂

[IJhonnyI]

Nothing much it's just the women and the men had a lot of complety different responses, wait, where did I laugh🤔😂

[Pinay_ako]

Bruh you reacted laugh 😂 it’s all good

[IJhonnyI]

Fasho my bad 😂

[Snsl153]

It is genuine when I use that expression.

[IJhonnyI]

Sounds nice 🙏🏼

[Aerissa_Jade]

It can be, I've felt I'm the problem before and I just can't do it... nothing wrong with him, its totally all on me, so what is a better way of saying that, than its not you its me?

[IJhonnyI]

Fair enough

[JDBSLAOQ]

yeah. there's usually no problem with the other side, its just me thats making things hard / isn't taking it as seriously as i owe them

[IJhonnyI]

That's very considerate of you

[bobby_bush_eater]

It can be in specific circumstances. Usually it isn't though, it's usually a cheap way to avoid what you really think because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings even though your doing it anyways. If it actually is you and not them the other person likely wouldn't be surprised.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Usually it just means they know they aren't treating you how they'd want to be treated.

It'd usually someone's way of saying yeah, I know I've not been putting much effort into this (knowing you as a person) and I've decided that I want to put in even less (aka none).

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it’s genuine. In my case, I had to break it off with a guy bc I’m too toxic and broken, I had trust issues and I was very manipulative with him… I ended things with him, went to therapy, remained single and reflected on everything.

[NathanDavis]

in my case, yes...

it was definitely -all kinds of messed up- me... and I did not want to expose anyone else onto that

[Agape93]

Depends. I broke up with a guy years ago because he wanted what I wouldn't force myself to give him, so it was literally not him but me

[Anonymous]

oh its totally you when they tell you that. Those girls think its letting us down gently but by the time you are being told this phrase she has found some other guy to run after and you are not the one triggering her feelings. it doesn't matter what you do because a girl can walk away at random.

Unless of course she has to escape her toxic parents home or has some other immediate issue to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Agree. Sometimes it's about trying to let someone down gently. Sometimes maybe they've done nothing wrong and you've changed your mind and you don't know why (or maybe you do).

[FilmGuy93]

Many times that is actually extremely honest. Our behavior and how we interpret our partner's behaviors in relationships is a reflection of who we are and our upbringing.

[hyperben]

to paraphrase Roger off "American Dad" when he dumped a girl

"its not you, its your face"

[maximumpower]

No.
Its a way of dumping someone while avoiding a long conversation.

[AndrésC64]

It definitely can be. Sometimes the other person is absolutely wonderful but you just don't click with them for some reason. It's not that there's anything wrong with them.

[OddBeMe]

Honestly, in terms of psychology, I’d say always. We are attracted to people’s subconscious based on our experiences and upbringing. When relationships end, its most likely our subconsciousness.

[Jouth]

I usually say

"It's not me, it's you. Fuck you, cunt."

Then I spit on them.

[Jouth]

It's easier to get over an asshole than an actual good person.

[Blackcosmo]

Yeah it depends as you said.

[Guy13]

Thats the oldest trick ever...

[Chazmatazz269]

It’s always both, ALWAYS.

[slatyb]

Mostly BS but it doesn’t matter. It’s over.

[WhitneySnow]

Sometimes

[Blueeyes81]

No it's a cop out.

[In_Trance]

never. It's you