If he gives you an ultimatum to get married within a year or breakup?

[Anonymous]

What would you do if he says if you’re not ready in a year he will leave you for someone else?

[TheMajesticKing777]

They shouldn't rush you into marriage, patience is a virtue and I don't see how rushing something so important can have a good outcome, that's of course not mentioning the threat to leave you itself which is a red flag that he probably doesn't love you the way he claims

[Asker]

I told him I want to marry him but a year is too soon and that a couple of years would be more convenient but he is insisting on a year.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Why is he insisting on a year? I believe this is a good question you should ask him, it seems a bit odd

[Asker]

He can’t come up with a straight answer. He says that he is afraid of losing me and that he is getting older and apparently running out of time (he’s in his 30s) … I said a couple of years will fly by and that if you love someone that’s not long to wait but he doesn’t give up on his idea and when we spoke about break up I started crying and he just told me to sleep it off but doesn’t even break up properly. I told him “should I delete your number?” And he said “it’s upto you” then I said I am confused and don’t know what he wants and he said he wants me to be his wife (within a year) 🤦🏻‍♀️ I don’t know what to do

[TheMajesticKing777]

He seems very persistent about it being in a year which is what makes the whole thing a bit sus, I think you are just too stressed about trying to control everything and it's why you don't know what to do, he put you in a position where he is making you choose between rushing into a decision to marry him in a year and if you don't, you lose him so what does that say, he is scared to lose you but if you don't marry him within a year he is going to leave you? Which is actually worse than you leaving him cause he is giving you up, I think you should have respect for yourself and marry whoever you want and whenever you feel ready, peer pressure into marriage is a mistake, you are indecisive because you feel like this guy is the only guy, there's plenty guys out there that are worth your time and that won't rush you into anything, my best advice is for you to tell him that you aren't ready for marriage and you don't think you will be in a year but it doesn't mean you won't ever be ready and y'all aren't getting any younger but love never has no limits and see how he reacts, weither it's a positive or negative reaction, you stick to your comfort and don't fall into peer pressure.

[Asker]

Thank you I have told him that there is no timeline for such things. For me I feel like it is too early (I am still in my early 20s) so I am completely unprepared.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Yep and that's understandable

[OlderAndWiser]

Tell him, "If you love someone, you work together instead of giving ultimatums. If you don't love me, let's say 'goodbye' now."

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[20yearsolder]

If you're not ready to get married then walk away, you should never give into an ultimatum. Do things in your own time

[MTC29]

Ultimatums are demands and are not just bad form; they almost always backfire.

Let him go, otherwise the demands/ultimatums will never end.

[Guy13]

I would believe him and thank him... Straightforward in vision, plan, and intent. What MORE could you want. Get on board or get off, you have a year...

[Stevepro68]

It's fate that level of controlling personality glad I found out before I got married to him

[Marshymallow]

Run straight for the door

[slatyb]

Let him.