Should I confront my boyfriend about this or brush it off?

[Anonymous]

One of my friends is in the same discord server with my boyfriend. She showed me what he wrote which was concerning. He said he was considering becoming a “swinger” or wanting to have a “third” with another girl. Keep in mind before we dated we made it clear we’re both monogamous. Another thing that bothered me was that he didn’t even tell ME about it. I don’t want to be the “crazy” girlfriend but I can’t tell if he’s joking or what was the point of him saying that. It’s embarrassing as a girlfriend that others know he’s wanting to do something intimate with another girl without telling me.

[DaveJord]

Ahhhh... guys don't really joke like that online unless they are looking to impress someone and get laid. If you confront him, then he will act like its a joke and play it off as not being serious... but you need to know its not something guys joke about unless they willing to act on it. So do not be fooled.


If you confronted him with anything I would only tell him that you know he said things, and that you're not okay with that and then break it off with him or make it very clear you are not okay and will never be okay with swinging and set boundaries. But if you confront him without breaking up he will just become more secretive and sneaky about who and were he says it to people. But honestly, no matter what he says you need to know it will always be there in his head and some day he might act on it, but there is no way to know for sure, right?

Its like if I said "I could kill you... lol" The context matters, I mean it could be joke, I could mean it but act like its a joke, say it like a joke or I could really, really mean it. Problem is you can not accuse me of killing you or meaning it until your dead and by then its too late... so that is where you got to be on this one. Do you really trust him or not and if the answer is anything other then completely, really, truly and emphatically yes... then I would say he's not not the one and move on before you get hurt.

[Tommy789]

If You are not ok with a swinger lifestyle the You really need to confront Your boyfriend and tell Him that. I was in a swingér relationship I thought would be great but in the long run I became depressed and suicidal as a result. Men only think about gétting to have sex with other women and don't think about the jealousy and hurt they will experience when their Girlfriend has sex with another Man which is most likely to happen first and it will be a while until the guy has an encounter with another woman. I thought an open relationship would be great, now I know better and I still experience severe depression from my swinger relationship resulting in a break up. Your Boyfriend obviously has not been in a swinger relationship which has no happy ending. Show what I just said to Him. He needs to know that He is màking a huge mistake by seeking a polyamorous relationship, once the swinging takes place there is no turning back, this is just as bad as playing with dynamite 🧨, Take my advise, an open relationship is a bad idea and it will cause Your relationship to end in a bitter and jealous way.

[kao118]

Leave it it might have just been a spur of the moment but keep a close watch and buy your friend some chocolates for me for being a good friend

[boggboss]

This is upto you as he could always say it was a joke so I guess it's what u think

[GreatnessBack]

You can talk to him about it. Maybe he's just "gaming" but wouldn't actually go through with it. Or maybe he's wants to "swing."

[Waldoe]

everyone has "Fantasies" but we rarely do anything, don't stress about the B. S. Enjoy life and Love, don't look for trouble (don't borrow trouble)

[pizzalovershouse]

Well sounds like he trying to control you by say things to get you to do what he wants