How do I bring this up with my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend was away with the military for work. now he is home. When I try to talk to him. He keep things at surface level. And very short... He dosnt go into any detail. when he is on the phone with his mom then he actually have an in depth conversation with her. That's when I hear what he didn't bother to tell me when trying to have a conversation with him. I have been trying so hard to give him the benifit of the doubt. he's tired. And he's going through some rough patches. But so am I. I'm trying to put in the effort of making him feel cared for and loved. Trying to make sure the house is super clean. Making sure you have everything he need in the fridge. Trying to give him space. Not trying to cuddle with him much. Trying not to talk as much kinda hoping he might bring up stuff on his own terms and have a in depth conversation with me. But it never happens... All im really saying is I need a little effort on his part. I want to feel loved and cared for too. Lately I haven't felt that way. I want deeper conversations. That being said I don't want to force it. We live together and been together for a year...

[Chris_Chambers0010]

I think you you may want to show him this question, or at least tell him how you feel.
Communication and compromise are two very important parts of a relationship.
It doesn't have to lead to an argument as long as you're both open and willing to make it work.

[Asker]

Your probably right.. I just dont want to make it awkward or make it seem like he has to. I want him to put more effort because he wants to.

[Chris_Chambers0010]

It can be challenging depending on your partner's personality.
My ex was very stubborn and wouldn't compromise. She didn't like being told what to do. Me suggesting anything was telling her what to do I guess? Lol.
Good luck, I hope he's more mature.

[calvinP]

Depends on where he went and what he did. He may not want to tell you for 1 of 2 reasons. 1 He feels you would not understand and empathize or 2 he thinks you may have not been faithful the whole time as most military spouses are not during deployment times

[Asker]

It's not any of that. He knows 1000% I would never cheat. He knows how in love I am with him. His mom just got cancer and he never told me. I found it out when he was on the phone with her. I don't understand why he wouldn't have told me. He knows one of my best friends went through chemo a few years ago. And my grandfather had cancer I know what he's going through.

[calvinP]

You may know what it is like but he may still be processing it. Also he may be afraid as he feels you may not stick around when times are tough for him especially in times of emotional weakness. If you have not already talk to him. Especially in a military setting he is not getting emotional support and his platoon is probably putting worse thoughts in his head. Just make him feel like you are there for him. Trust me it is the best thing you can do

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one who hit on you