Should I confront him about this?

[Anonymous]

My friend and I had planned to go eat dinner together. He told me his off days are Saturday and Sunday. And that's usually when we'd see each other. This time he decided we should go out Friday evening around 630. I was caught up helping my mom that evening and texted him when i got home around 620. I told him i needed to shower n stuff. He said no worries take ur time. An hour and a half later I was ready. I looked really nice and he texted me asking if everything was alright. I was kind of confused why he asked cus it had only been 1 hour 30 mins but I said yeah I just finished I'm ready to come. Then I asked if he was working the next morning because of the fact that he seemed concerned about the time. He said yeah and decided to reschedule. It really hurt my feelings cus I felt like I got ready just for him to blow me off. And he didn't tell me he had to work, as far as I knew sat n Sunday are his off days. So I said ok what day? He pushed it all the way to next week... I just feel like he doesn't want to see me or something. Should I ask him why he's working on his off days and mention how I disappointing it is that we had to cancel? Or should I just try to see him next week no questions? Sigh..

[Futuregreens]

Tell him. That way this doesn't continue to be an ongoing problem. Chances are he doesn't know how much it work it takes to get ready and that you were really excited about it. You could do this in the best way possible, and focus on how much you looked forward to being with him. This might give you the ability to know what happened too and better handle it. Just keep cool about it when mentioning it and it will be fine.

[Asker]

Thank you for this advice. I literally did it right after I read this lol. He's a home health nurse. He said it's because he had taken on more patients than he could handle for the week and has to see them on his off days this week. I could tell he was telling the truth and I feel so much better

[Futuregreens]

You're welcome. Happy to know you both have a better understanding of each other. He now knows how you feel and you now know why. It's better than letting it eat you up. 😊

[Futuregreens]

And it's great that you trust them too. I don't think he ment to let you down like that but it's good to let them know you put in a lot of work for that special time together you two were supposed to have. Maybe he can make up for it. (Even if it wasn't something he could control at that moment.) Like, make sure to have special time specifically for you and him. But yeah, jobs like nursing can be demanding. It's good to see you recognize that and take notice of this. You definitely care. 😁

[Asker]

Thanks a bunch! 😊

[Futuregreens]

You're welcome 😁

[spartan55]

The only thing you could have done different is to let him know how you would take getting ready. Tbh 90 minutes is pretty long time to get ready. I don't understand how that was 'too late' for him. I would definitely mention the fact that he said he had Saturday and Sundays off. This guy is just a friend?

[Asker]

I guess I did take a long time to get ready. But yes, everything is fine now, thanks. We are close friends but have both been considering being something more.

[spartan55]

Thanks for the MHO!

[Anonymous]

Seriously. You got your feelings hurt. This is why women can’t run this world on their own because simple things like this hurt their feelings. An hour and a half to me seems like a long time. Were you going to a fancy place or something? Besides he’s your friend. Not even your boyfriend. If it bothers you that much than let him know. He doesn’t have an obligation to you. You’re almost 40 this should t even be an issue.

[Asker]

I'm nowhere near 40... why are you being so harsh? Jeez..

[Futuregreens]

The best leaders are women. Also, men get their feeling hurt over simple, polite rejections from woman they just met.

Her feelings are valid and your attempts to shut her down on an app specifically asking for good opinions is terrible.

You have terrible assumption, sexist prejudice, and made up information. Stop.

[Futuregreens]

Asker, don't listen to him and I apologize on behalf of all men. I hope his terrible comment doesn't affect you in any way. Your feelings are valid in this situation and I believe you handled it the right way, regardless if the guy you're with is blurred between friend and something more. You have every right to take your time about this and grow in your relationship in your own way. 😊

[Anonymous]

You both are just friends right?

[Asker]

Well... yes but I feel we've been getting a little more closer. And we kissed the last time we were together