Why are women more attracted to guys who are taken?

Question

Autember · Accepted Answer

I have no idea where I heard this. Maybe a podcast? Or tiktok? but I literally just heard it this week.. but apparently there was a theory that women like taken men because it means they have been vetted and accepted by another woman. We want what other woman have deemed valuable.

Now personally I DO NOT AGREE. I can't speak for other women, but I have no interest in taken men. I see no future there and I would never date someone that would cheat.

JessJJ · Accepted Answer

I'm not looking for anything serious and married men usual just want sex, which is perfect for me too. Therefore I usually only go for married guys.

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

Two things: (1) men who are taken are more confident in themselves, and (2) women want what other women value. The first of these things, confidence, is how a guy carries himself when he's not desperate for pussy or emotional connection- he already has it. When a guy isn't thirsty it piques girls interest.

Second, girls care immensely what other girls think. This is why they care about a big engagement ring, how much money their man makes (i. e. 6-figures), and how tall he is (i. e. 6ft plus). It's all just shit to brag about to their friends, and receive commendation. If all they cared about was showing they were married, a $50 ring would suffice; if all they cared about was being taken care of then $50k/yr would be fine; if they only cared about a guy who could protect them, height wouldn't really matter. But, we know that all of this does, and it's not for practical reasons, it's so they can boast to their friends about how they're better than them for getting it.

When another girl has shown she values a guy, other girls perceive that he has value and become more interested in him as a result.

mobiusforniner · Answer

It has happened to me multiple times and I've always declared i am married. doesn't stop them. My wife reminds me I wear the ring not to remind women im married, but to remind me.

I believe its centered on the notion that im not looking. Im comfortable with myself and consequently make others comfortable around me. I listen because I care, not because I want ass. there's a sense of genuinity that I suppose is attractive to a woman.

Women aren't dumb, you see. Most guys are in it for the ass and women can sniff this shit out.

JosyJosy · Answer

People want what they can't have. And what you see is a great man, he's got a girlfriend so he must be great right? That man already put in the work to be the awesome boyfriend or husband and with a happy couple that whole image is enhanced. So I am guessing you either still have some things to work through to be girlfriend material yourself, keep attracting or going for the wrong men, or you're simply too lazy to put in the work to get and work with a man and get him at his best so you try to take him away from someone else who did put in that work.

Sorrento-Sun · Answer

I'm not. I lose interest as soon as I find out a guy is with someone

I had a friend who was always attracted to men who were already in a relationship. She told me that she liked challenges. It was a challenge to her to pursue him - to see if he'd cheat or not. I think she did it to try to prove her point. She assumed all men would cheat. She'd been cheated on a few times in the past, so she had serious trust issues. She didn't want a committed relationship with the guys she pursued. She didn't even want them to leave their partner for her. She just wanted to prove to herself that men will cheat if given the opportunity. I eventually cut contact with her as her moral compass was way off the charts.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not just guys who are taken. It's guys they can't have or well be a challenge. This is something men need to learn. You'll get a lot more women to take interest in you if you stop acting like a thirsty dog, hassling every woman you see. They're competitive, and if you have some standards they'll see you as a prize worth going after.

Never whine about being single. That reeks of desperation. Always say you haven't met the right girl or you just don't want a relationship at the moment. And act like it. Talk to them like friends and stop hitting on them constantly. You'll be amazed how many start getting flirty

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Preselected men show that they are competent and worth it in the eyes of women if they are taken because it means he has qualities that are deemed important and key to make him a good mate or significant other.

So naturally he will stand out more.

Anonymous · Answer

I know I’m NOT more attracted to taken girls vs single ones when all else is equal. Once she tells me she has boyfriend or is married then I back off immediately. I will be friendly going forward but not “friends”. Even if she did cheat on her boyfriend/husband with me is that someone I could trust?

But I swear every time I was in a relationship in the past other women would just come out of the woodworks. It was ridiculous. It screws up so many things on so many lives. Taken guys get tempted. Single guys get passed up and more frustrated. There is more paranoia for girl dating the guy. Girl chasing the taken guy is wasting her time on something she can’t (or shouldn’t have).

This is a major area where women need to improve upon. There are a minority of men like this but overall most guys aren’t like this. It’s really f*cking backward.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Some want what they can't have and want to prove to themselves that they can get any guy regardless if he's in relationship. Some girls do it out of spite cause they are in competition, but it's possible they liked him before finding out he was in relationship.

JDavid25 · Answer

If another woman has him, that means he has something desirable that she wanted enough to be with him.. It's not so much that he is taken, as opposed to the fact that somebody else wants him.. It also happens when other women desire a guy... It brings the guys social standing up.. There's some desirable quality that any woman would be intrigued by or after..

kmg9150 · Answer

Because it appears as though he already has worth, because why would a girl be with a guy that holds no value in himself. Its like a new car comes on the market, but nobody is going after it. If they can avoid risk and discover what defects is it may have, they will. But once you see others in it, you think well others would be buying if it was a piece of sheet problematic vehicle. Think of it as the pre screening has already been done with out wasting the time to do so.

Qdbrown · Answer

It's called Social Proof. He is not just with someone. He probably looks descent and has a confident air about him having a woman. They rarely have that desparate look in their face, trying to see if a woman is available.

Plenty of single women have found themselves knowingly dating a married guy for this reason at least at one point of their life.

TenderFantasy · Answer

I don't think that's always the case tbh.

But one reason could be is that it implies that those men know how to commit and aren't afraid to. It's a positive quality for a lot of women as women DREAM of stability and loyalty/Faithfulness, and also maybe they like the thrill of the forbidden fruit! Some women LIKE "winning over" or stealing from another woman for some sick reason. HOWEVER, it's never worth the drama or the heartache! My opinion.

Guy13 · Answer

We all have a need to conquer and demonstrate achievement/accomplishment. Those most "not available are most attractive and desired. If this man can be righteously committed to her then he can with me as well. She's not that attractive anyway...

Avicenna · Answer

That is definitely not true for the majority of women. But for those who are, it's because this guy has been successful enough to get vetted by another woman and found dateable. It tends to be the less stable and more narcissistic women who are like this.

RedStiletto88 · Answer

Being envious and wanting what belongs to someone else and looking for a challenge. It’s basically maturity. But I’ve been hit on by guys who knew I was/am with someone so guys do the same thing

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Yeah it's common... They also like it when they see other girls visibly attracted to the guy they like... I think it's half they care about validation from other girls about the guy they like... And half being competitive and getting a wanted man because not every guy can attract a lot of girls

Shayyyy1 · Answer

Uh said who? Is there statistics for this. Yh we can like a guy and if he happens to be taken we can't can't off the like instantly, u have a few who try to butt into the relationship but its very opinionated to say girls like taken guys more.

Anonymous · Answer

Most females use preselection as their method of determining who is safe or a good partner.

If a guy is liked by females better than her, she believes in her head that “if she thinks he is ok, then he must be”

but if a guy is attractive but women seem to avoid him or he is single... they wonder “why is he single, what is wrong with him?”

OnlinePeanut22 · Answer

That did happen a lot in my college. When I did date and had more than one relationship at one time. Some girls in my ex experience try to temp to guys to cheat on me and most of them did part by one. Are now ex boyfriends and they should learn very hard lessons? I am not even friends with women that try to force a friendship. I will keep rejecting it. and will kept saying no since they ruin the trust to begin with.

Sarahr123 · Answer

They’re insecure and they get a kick out of it when the guy gives them attention despite having someone. It’s really disgusting but really everyone sees them as the venom and vile people of society.

maximumpower · Answer

Several possible reasons:
1) Less chance of his taking them up on "offers"
2) He's a challenge - need to see if she has the skill/attraction to get him to break his vows
3) If he does go for it there's less chance of a committed relationship and less that the news will get around (which it does, anyway)
4) Showing off around her harpy friends

Anonymous · Answer

Perhaps such men exude an inner confidence from being loved, flow with happiness inside, such is the warming bubble that a loving relationship can create.

Perhaps it seems they need nothing from women around them and that makes them both interesting, attractive, and safe to interact with.

lightbulb27 · Answer

people want something that has value and he would have proven his value socially to someone else, so interest goes up. the more value the more demand.

same psychology for material goods... crowd behavior...

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not sure that's true.

Girls at my work used to flirt with me all the time and I went through a boat load of them until I finally settled down with one

She doesn't even work there anymore but all the other girls know I'm taken and I don't even get a hopeful glance anymore. It's starting to hurt my feelings a little bit. What the hell happened? Even the new girls don't show any interest after they inevitably hear someone asking me how Sarah is

Bunch of bullshit

Anonymous · Answer

Lack of self esteem (regardless of what she says or front she puts up). She can find herself attractive even. But she knows deep down she's inferior. Which is why she tries to take every man from other women. It's her way of proving her worth. Yeah I know it's kind of f***ed up. But some women are just like that.

ZackBan · Answer

Basic evolution: a man who can keep a woman is a man of certain value which is attractive to other women looking for a "keeper"  It's a little twisted but not an unnatural behavior

Missgingles · Answer

I dont. Women who do that have some form of personality disorder. Thats not normal. Its a huge red flag. I've had to leave female friends because of that

JPresidente · Answer

Sometimes its a case of they want something they can't have, sometimes its just a wandering eye. Other times its that they see that he's a committed person with great qualities that has stuck by another woman and wishes they were that woman.

Rania05 · Answer

It's a human issue that peoe just keep getting attracted to taken people, it just gives a taboo pleasure to them , no reasoning with them

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Same principle as to why people are hesitant to apply for a company that is always hiring. S chronic single man is viewed as having something undesirable about him whereas a taken man has been verified.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s either the guy gave them a motive and didn’t tell them they were taken and then later find out they are… ORRR their just envious about the relationship and it really doesn’t have anything to do with the guy and they’re just lonely asf.

menina · Answer

I guess it's because usually taken men have the qualities they look for in a man.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because those guys have good working social skills otherwise they wouldn´t be taken.

sheikalana · Answer

I guess they see it as a challenge and most people want to date someone who is desirable.

Sixgunsound · Answer

Because another woman has validated his desirability.

Subarugirl · Answer

They aren't... maybe a very small minority, but in general they aren't

FilmGuy93 · Answer

The fact he's already taken is a sign that he is desirable and socially vetted.

ZenJen444 · Answer

What type of women are you dealing with? Lol. Most of thbe time if a woman goes for a man who is taken it'd because 1. Guy downplayed is current relationship 2. Pretends he's not in a relationship

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

They aren't. Those women you're speaking about are just trashy homewreckers

fred_durst · Answer

because taken guy usually have higher quality ( which is the reason why they are "taken" on first place)

Mangospacho · Answer

Supply and demand. If someone finds someone else attractive enough to be with them long term, then they are automatically in higher demand.

TroyDT · Answer

Probably because a lot of single guys come across as desperate.

zagor · Answer

"Well, he hasn't murdered HER, so..."

Twalli · Answer

Because we project more happiness and confidence because we have someone who loves us.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeh I know, Girls say it's wrong for a Guy to flirt with a Married Woman but they will flirt with a Married Man whenever they want.

ZS007 · Answer

I disagree with this

Clyde_123 · Answer

They want what they can't have.

In_Trance · Answer

Because desperation is disgusting

bugsforlunch · Answer

I’m not lmao

Jouth · Answer

women are attracted to women who are women

Anonymous · Answer

evil that simple

Batmanismydaddy · Answer

Daddy issues

AsaKyo · Answer

I'm not

duttyjamagyal · Answer

I'm not

Anonymous · Answer

Social proof

Why are women more attracted to guys who are taken?

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Why are some women attracted to men that are taken?

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