What is this white sticky stuff on my houseplants?

[Anonymous]

I have white sticky stuff on my houseplants. They're located beside the sofa, which is where I sleep. Could this be the result of a deeper issue, like is there a dendrosexual in my house? No one has ever woke me to dendrosexuals before.

[FilmGuy93]

I think that's probably some sort of fungus. Do you live in a humid area?

[Asker]

People used to think homosexuals had a mental illness. I'm not jumping to any conclusions here.

[Guy__]

Did you know that the word conclusions can be rearranged to say "colonics"?

[CuriousMufuxka]

Dude use a towel when you jerk off! Just kidding. Looks like a molded alien dick?

[TransAm85]

Fungus.. spray sum peroxide on it. Take it outside.

[jackinoff]

It's plant cum

[Asker]

Do I need to be woke to this?

[jackinoff]

Sure

[purplepoppy]

Plantpox. We need to burn your house down

[Asker]

Imagine that -- a feminist tell me to burn dendrosexuals.

[Guy__]

Did the plant get vaccinated?

[Asker]

Not that I'm aware of.

[Guy__]

It's covid. Get vaxxed now.