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So there is a woman I like at the moment but I am only after a casual relationship at this moment in time.
I haven't promised anything or are leading her on but i want to tell her in a respect way.
anu ideas?
I have been w/ hundreds of women and have studied gender rrelationships for over 20 years and I'm going to share something w/ you that no one is going to tell you. Never verbalize that to a women. If you are only after a casual relationship then just keep seeing her but never commit. Men control access to relationships, so there's really nothing she can do if you dont want one. However if you tell her, she then will get her friends involved and they're all going to tell her she's to good and deserves blah blah blah. The biggest difference in relationships is that females understand how to use their double standards, men rarely do.
That's a long way to tell someone to keep their intentions hidden...
@Subarugirl TY for sharing. As you gain more experience you'll understand that context is always relevant.
Unless you are gay or bisexual I am sure that I have more experience with men perusing men and trying to get into my pants that you do hon. The fact that you are advising someone to be intentionally dishonest by withholding their true intentions tells me all I need to know about your character and the type of man that you are.
Can you honestly say that is how you would want a man to treat your daughter or granddaughter?
@Subarugirl You may have more experience w/ men attempting to use you for sex, but you dont have nearly as much experience as I do w/ women wanting to be in relationships. Men control access to relationships and as a top tier man I get the luxury of deciding when and if I want to settle for a women. Reality is women are not able to deal w/ the truth from men and I know this because of my experiences w/ hundreds of women. Your opinion of my character isn't relevant to me because you aren't relevant to my life. If I had a daughter I would share w/ her a more accurate perception of how men view women vs attempting to let her live in a delusional fantasy world.
Can you honestly say that is how you would want a man to treat your daughter or granddaughter?
@Subarugirl I'm not sure I understand the question what do you mean by "how you would want a man treating your daughter Grandaighter? Please eloborate.
"I have been w/ hundreds of women and have studied gender rrelationships for over 20 years and I'm going to share something w/ you that no one is going to tell you. Never verbalize that to a women. If you are only after a casual relationship then just keep seeing her but never commit. Men control access to relationships, so there's really nothing she can do if you dont want one. However if you tell her, she then will get her friends involved and they're all going to tell her she's to good and deserves"
Is that how you would want your daughter treated?
@Subarugirl TY so much for sharing this, as I hope some young men read this and learn more. Your question proves a few points about women.
1. Women live in delusional - You're asking me to provide an answer to an ambiguous question about a hypothetical situation to a hypothetical person. Would you advise your 28 year old son to marry an only fans model?
2. Women operate w/ a sense of entitlement - A random girl is not the same as a family member therefore they shouldn't be treated the same. If that's case why didn't you but me a present for my last bday?
3. Women are narcissistic by nature - The original question is from a guy looking to improve his own relationship situation yet, your focus is how his decision affects the woman? The best course of action for the guy to get what HE wants is to follow the advice I have laid out. He shouldn't concern himself w/ the feelings of the women because that is not his issue. Your frustration stems from him doing what's best for him partly because you dont have the ability to see past yourself. You can be concerned w/ how it makes you "feel" I am not. I am only concerned w/ what is best for me and mine. Tell me how my strategy hurts the man in this situation?
That was a long winded way to avoid answering a very simple question.
If you had a daughter, would you want a man to treat her the way you advising? yes or no?
Answer the question I asked first and then I will answer your question.
@Subarugirl It's unfortunate that you failed to see the answer in the response, however much like I previously mentioned, it is impossible to answer a ambiguous hypothetical situation. Which is probably why you failed to answer my rhetorical question. Do you know what the terms ambiguous and hypothetical mean?
It’s is very possible, you’re just refusing to because the answer would be no. You just don’t want to admit it, and that makes you a hypocrite.
@Subarugirl Lol, That is certainly a belief you are welcom to hold. It does validate my original post, as you are unable to process a man not doing what you asked so you've decided to just declare victory to make yourself feel better. This is another example why men shouldn't disclose their intentions to women, if they want to be successful w/ them. As you showed most women are not emotionally stable enough to handle that. Your only rebuttle to the orginal statement (that wasn't directed at you) was to create a hypothetical daughter, grandaughter and boyfriend and then a hypothetical situation. While that is cute to live in fantasyland, as a man I have to operate in reality. If you have a specific situation you would like me to comment on please LMK.
@Subarugirl I had a similar run in with Mr i have had hundreds of women and have come to the conclusion that he is not much more than a contentious word salad troll. I finally just rolled over and agreed I am a silly, stupid woman lol ‘cause who knows better than he does?
@Caroline91 If BY "similar run in" you mean asked to produce facts then that would seem to indicate that you believe women as a whole are incapable of doing so?
@Vegasrunner sorry, dude, I wasn’t talking to you.
@Caroline91 No need to apologize, you were talking about me, so I have every right to respond.
Of course you do. I knew you would lol
@Caroline91 That's great. Glad I could educate you.
Thank you so much, I appreciate the effort😘
@Caroline91 TY, it helps validate what I assumed about your original post. I think this will help a lot of men see the incongtuency between women's words and actions.
Or maybe sometimes it isn’t worth continuing the ”conversation” just let the guy have it his way bc he’s not gonna stop until he “wins”. But winning is never the desired outcome, mutual understanding is. So I’m kinda done with you.
@Caroline91 That certainly is a position you're welcome to say, however u have to admit is an odd one considering, all I asked was for you to show both sides of your conversation so I can make an informed decision. Unless you're making the claim that I should take you at your word and ignore any additional information, I'm not sure what "win" you're inferring.
Figure out what she wants/needs from you first, before stating what you want/need. Something I've found about women early in relationships is that the vast majority of them aren't going to feel comfortable voicing a genuine need/opinion if they think it's at odds with the person they are talking to.
Having a casual relationship doesn't mean that the connection needs to be any less satisfying or emotionally intimate.
So ask her what she wants and needs first and then figure out a good way to accommodate both of your needs.
Directly. Come out and say it. Just talk to her, rip the bandaid.
At least if it was me, and I wanted something serious, i'd get over it if you were honest.
But if you're dishonest, i wouldn't even see you again, let alone screw you.
Soooooo the question is how do I phrase it in such a way that I get relationship benefits on my terms only without having to reciprocate and invest actual time and emotional effort without sounding like a selfish twat?
I dunno man.
Opinion
26Opinion
be upfront … she’d appreciate it
Agreed !😁
Don't be wishy washy. Just tell her.
So, relationships are a combination of right person/right time. In this case, you have met a girl you like at a time when the right thing for you is to keep relationships casual. You reslly show you are an honorable guy by wanting to be respectful and honest with her and not leading her on. That shows real integrity! My suggestion is that you just up front and tactfully tell her something like “I need to say something important to you…I really like you a lot and bc I do, I want to be honest with you…at this point in my life, I can really only be open to casual relationships and it isn’t the right time for me to be getting into something serious, no matter how much I like someone. I wanted to discuss it with you and see where you’re at…what are your thoughts?” You are the kind of guy that women truly admire. Funny thing is, even though it is generally assumed that girls want serious relationships, there was a time in my life when I was the one having to initiate these conversations on a regular basis…then I met the man who is now my husband lol
Say to her in the best Humphrey Bogart impression 'Sweetheart! I am only in town for two days kid and after all the stuff I have been told about attractions, you're the one attraction that stands out. So what you say you blow me, I mean blow this joint and show me what this city has to offer'
Be concise and direct. "I just want a friend with benefits, no marriage. No relationship. No love. Just sex." From there she can either allow you to waste her time by agreeing to a casual relationship or move on to a guy who will actually commit to her.
@DermalPunch I know and that’s what happens to users.
Tell the truth , I really want to boont you , and be around you a bit , but I want things to remain casual , I respect you a great deal and this is why I'm letting you know. How do you feel about this proposal?
Just tell her. Tell her what you're looking for and interested in. Just be honest. You'd be surprised what the outcome might be. She might be looking for the same type of arrangement
Yes - you tell her you aren't looking for anything serious right now. You say "I tell you this out of a real respect for you because I like you very much, and if you want to spend time with me, I never want you to think I've misled you in any way".
tell her you want something casual so she has the chance to leave and find someone else if she wants a relationship. no sense in wasting her life on someone who isn't going to reciprocate feelings
Ask her what she’s looking for because you ‘want to make sure you’re both on the same page’. She’ll say either a relationship/something casual then you can say your piece. 🍻
It is incredibly easy: "I do not want to be in a serious and long term relationship right now. I just wanted to be straight-forward about that now that it is early. "
Just be honest and dont do anything that might make her think she's more important than she is.
I always keep it honest with a woman if sex is all I'm looking for. Not only is it honest, but when you have the courage to be upfront it actually builds your confidence in approaching women believe it or not.
It’s really the way you say something like that. Honesty will work best for you, along with sincere approach. It shows you don’t want to waste her time. It’s then her choice.
Honestly is the best policy.
I’m sure she’d appreciate it.
Just never talk about commitment and if she asks point blank say you don't want commitment. Otherwise no need to mention it--just keep working on building attraction and escalating physically. The topic will probably come up shortly before or after you have sex.
Casual implies sex only. She is not a slut, so don't turn her into one! Go find what you are really liking for - sex!
I don’t think “causal relationship” means turning a woman into slut or any kind of disrespectful. Sometimes woman do want casual relationships if they’re too focused on their life or made some commitments in life and needs some bodily pleasures.
If she wants you it's impossible. No matter what you say or how nice you say it she will be offended.
Right you're going to ruin things, tell her "if you choose to date her" and if will never come! Eventually she'll get mad years later and finally leave
You don't need to tell her anything unless she asks what you two are. Why define the relationship if she hasn't asked you to? It's putting the cart before the horse.
Exactly, the heck 🤣
best way? be fucking honest. no other casual way to do it but to be blunt. because if she doesn't want just a casual relationship, you're wasting her time and that's just rude.
I don't even know what casual means in a relationship lol
by telling her im only looking for something casual for right now
Ask her out. On the date tell her what you are looking for.
Say just that, put it in you dating profiles and make sure that you clearly communicate that fact before the end of a first date.
Forget the respect. Just tell her she's really hot. Women want a lot of things but respect isn't one of them.
Is that how you would want your daughter treated?
😂 I like this place
@Subarugirl I don't have children. I can't imagine my child acting like the slut cunts around here. Never compare myself to you.
If you had a daughter, is that how you would want her treated?
Preferably while behind a solid barricade and gorilla glass.
Tell her "You're good enough to fuck but not good enough to love, now get on your knees bitch."
Dont be upfront. Just go fast with it. After you have sex she will lose interest anyway because there won't be much of a past. A week or two max
Casual is kinda on its way out. In fact, she likely needs to turn away from you all together.
You’d be surprised how many girls are into it.
broke the surprise
just say ur not looking for anything serious 🤷♂️ some girls may be mad most will appreciate the honesty tho
I don’t want your mind, I just want you body….;)
Just say all I want is a casual relationship and nothing more.
you say to her "I am only after a casual relationship at this time". Easy!
Just forget it, they are going to think what they want...
Casual relationship means friend/no sex.
Just be a friend, it's not really complicated.
Probably should mention that right from the beginning that it’s all you want
Just tell her don’t waist her time please.
Just be honest with her.
Just tell her exactly that.
You just tell her. There is no perfect way.
tell her to shut up
You have a Mouth use it
Be direct and upfront about it.
Face to face
Just tell her
