My family last year forced me to go to their country and because I didn’t see my boyfriend for 20 days I was so miserable and sad I felt so alone especially on New Years because we have never even spent new years together. My eye also got really bad so I was hiding from people and I wasn’t enjoying the food I even got pretty sick because of the food for 3 days straight and it was a horrible time for me but my dad seems to want to force me to go again because he refuses to let me stay alone. My boyfriend promised that we would never go through that again and that he would go next time but now he’s telling me that he doesn’t know if he could go because he has to save money for a medical assisting course (3500 dollars) . Although I am glad that he’s taking a course, he made a promise to me and now I feel like he’s just like everybody else and that next time he makes a promise I won’t believe him. I even wondered if he’s backing out because we can’t have sex on the trip.
Going with your girlfriend's family on a trip outside the coutnry for new year's is the king of massive commitment that scares most people.
Because on that trip he will constantly have to be evaluated by all your relatives and any family member that doesn't like him.
Plus maybe he wants to spend the holidays with his own family as well.
He might have made you a promise which was a mistake on his part but you should also understand that for him a trip like this is easier said than done.
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This is a really tough question.
I definitely understand how you feel. The money issue seems to be a legitimate one. Though I'm not sure how much blame he legitimately deserves. Because maybe he didn't know how much his class was going to cost. I don't know; it's complicated.
How much does he need to make the trip to the Dominican Republic?
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I mean you have to put everything in context... unless you are paying for his tickets, room and board... then yeah it is not really right of you to expect him to have to go. The real issue here for me is that you are 21 years old, how is your dad forcing you to go somewhere you do not want to go?
I mean that's a issue for me, as a boyfriend honestly. If your dad has that type of control over you at 21 years old? Are you not going to school or have a job? Because if you are 21 living at home and daddy is paying for everything and you don't have your own job, then you sound a little spoiled to me and you should not expect other people like your boyfriend to cater to you on that level.There are a number of thorny issues here:
(1) Do you WANT to go your parent's home country? It sounds to me like you don't. You didn't feel well, and you didn't enjoy it.
(2) Are your parents attempting to prevent you from having sex with your boyfriend? It sounds like your Dad either doesn't know or doesn't want you that you have sex with your boyfriend.
(3) Are you REALLY worried that your relationship is faltering? Is he REALLY losing interest or can he just NOT afford the trip?
There are solutions, but first you have to figure out what needs fixing.- s
I think you are being selfish right now… circumstances change, and if he NEEDS to save the money for his education then are you really expecting him to throw that in the trash and spend money he might not have on a trip?
also, he gave you a reason, and a valid one as well, as to why he can’t go on this trip, so why are you making up your own reasons in your head? Um but you're an adult. 21 years old. They can't force you to go somewhere you don't want to. Tell them you won't come with them and that you're gonna stay home.
As for your boyfriend, talk to him communicate your feelings and tell him how you feel. Traveling to a foreign country can be expensive, so maybe he hasn't calculated and thought out the cost? Sometimes shit happens, that's life
I dont care if its another country or another state, etc. I dont like being stood up. Your boyfriend has a good excuse though so I would prob let that slide. But if he’s brushed promises off multiple times before then he’d be out the door
After reading all the other comments I think your boyfriend doesn't want to go with you because of the language barrier with your family. I think he promised that he would go to make you happy.
Why won't your parents leave you alone instead of forcing you to go? You are a legal adult.No sex on the trip D: That sounds like a horrible trip tbh 😂
But anyway, it depends how much it costs etc. Everyone can easily say something, but life gets in the way and apparently, spending time with you isn't as much as a priority to him at the moment. Either not realizing how upset it makes you, costing him too much or just not feeling like it.
How you feel about that situation is up to you, just remember that you feel what you feel and it's a valid feeling.Can you stay with your boyfriend while your family goes. Your boyfriend should offer that as a solution to him not going with you and you not being able to stay home.
- u
I would be extremely upset because that means I would have bought an airplane ticket in advance for my former girlfriend then if she backed out of going to Europe that would be horrible but of course she didn’t do that. But still I would be upset anyway if she didn’t make it because we had such long awaiting plans
You’re an adult aren’t you? Start acting like one.
Did he give a time frame for how long he will save up for the course?
His education should come first. He will still have that even if the 2 of you are no longer a couple. It would be different if you could pay for his ticket. He could then keep that promise if he's sincere.
You shouldn’t be forced to go somewhere. That’s kidnapping!
why can’t u have sex?
Guys shouldn't make promises they can keep is how I see things
Only reason to back out is cuz so sick with flu or any medical problems other wise it means they never wanted to go but just said it to keep you happy an no arguing
A bit but it's fine, I'll have fun regardless
Yes, that would be disappointing.
not happy.. ugh
Yes.. I hate when people break promises
Definitely.
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